#nelclectic

On 2/6/26, I celebrated 2 1/2 years of my Stroke Recovery.

I get very emotional whenever I talk about what it felt like to suddenly lose connection with my Dominant Hand and Vision. I take immense pride in my Recovery, especially having had to relearn EVERYTHING all over again.

Muscle Memory can last just a few moments, so I’m very happy that I figured out that my love for Art and Creativity are so deeply ingrained into my brain and body, that not even a stroke can stop me from reconnecting with myself.

Having a Near Death Experience (NDE) both shook and shaped me as an Artist, especially as a Visual Artist.

After temporarily losing my Vision and still working hard in Vision Rehab to gain it back, I can’t help but to remember what I saw during those very long hours of Brightness.

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For those who don’t know, I have Visual Snow Syndrome (VSS), among other visual disorders as a result of my brain damage. My Artwork is a direct reflection of how I now see the world from Eyes that saw Too Much.

I got new bangles from an outdoor bazaar recently, they're silver and look like screws!

Something about industrial jewelry combined with flowy clothing makes me think deeply and become very inspired... Been using more grunge and grainy/noisy overlays in my designs nowadays. It got me out of my creative slump, somehow.

"The Sky was never supposed to Notice."

What an honest thing to say.

I wonder if Eve felt self-awareness first before Shame. Or if Shame was born before Self-Awareness.

— ART ANALYSIS:

It’s National Poetry Writing Month; I love this font & my Eyes really hurt.

Red is a color I unfortunately cannot see very well anymore, so I think it’s interesting to see how I use Red to Hide things within my artwork… a self-portrait with hands covering a big swatch of red paint says a lot about how I’m feeling lately.

Authenticity most times feels like trying to exist Calmly while wearing the most Alarming color. You stick out so much just by existing unapologetically. Your name is synonymous with Warnings. It’s exhausting.

Anger is honestly a very tough emotion for me to feel, but is surprisingly easy to visualize.

I have learned over the years that Anger can be a protective emotion, and it often represents the voice of my other emotions, mostly Disappointment and Exasperation.

More recently, I am accepting that acknowledging my Anger has led to an incredible amount of self-growth forgiveness. Flowers still grow from my Inner Fire.

Every now and then, I write a very short Poem that turns into a Collage, that turns into a Self-Portrait.

I write and create for the Unloveables, a lot. Especially my lifelong muse, Eve.

• I’m always thinking about Eve’s perspective and psychology. • I studied & researched for a little over 1 year to write my Honors Senior English Thesis in college, about Eve. • I talk about Eve in my therapy sessions, in my Poetry groups, in my journal.

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I relate to Eve, a lot.

And I think about why that is.