MAYBE CLOSER IS WHERE YOU’RE MEANT TO BE
summary: neji is sure that his relationship with you as his roommate is perfectly defined. however, in one evening it turns out that he would love to be a cup of your chamomile tea.
genre: fluff, comfort, a bit suggestive; neji’s pov
notes: this piece is personalized special for @half-baked-biscuit who waited for this for so long. i’m sorry, i’m dumb and thank you for your patience <3
neji likes his morning routine. he really enjoys the refreshing feeling of waking up early, knowing how easy, natural even, it comes to him. the touch of cold water splashing against his skin and refreshing him perfectly. he truly appreciates the opportunity to prepare a breakfast and consume it in peaceful silence, interrupted only by the chirping of birds. taking a sip by sip of his favorite black coffee without any sugar or milk in it — he likes it bitter, like it naturally is. consuming omelets, miso soup or whatever he likes to serve himself in the morning of a particular day the most. even though he wasn’t the biggest fan of blinding sunlight and even more of ongoing summer, he enjoyed slight rays of sunshine that were coming through the window, accompanied by all the songs singing by birds since the snow disappeared for good.
all that seemed to be some kind of ritual. the usual routine to put peace and stability in his life that he definitely needed. neji always enjoyed order and consistency, and that’s why he simply liked his life like this. so everything he was going through last weeks with you as his roommate was unexpected and completely new for him.
it’s not like you two just met — you moved here almost 8 months ago after all. but the fact that you two were similar in many ways and preferred a lot of things in exactly the same way was giving him chills. you used to wake up around the same time as he does, and it wasn’t surprising that he rarely met anyone like this before. someone to whom the breeze of morning air and pastel shades of the sky appealed similarly delightful. yet today the realization hit him like a ton of bricks because it wasn’t only the morning details anymore as much as the usual sigh of you. of your little ‘good morning’ while you were on your way to the bathroom. the strong smell of his black coffee mixed with the calming scent of your chamomile tea that used to welcome his nostrils every sunrise. and the fact that day by day he started to struggle more to take his eyes off your sleepy face and fabric of pajamas clinging tightly to your body.
‘morning, hyūga’ you murmured, yawning and gently stretching your neck.
‘good morning’ he responds naturally, trying to push every single thought that was occupying his head just a few seconds ago while taking a sip of his coffee. he wasn’t the talkative type, especially in the morning, but this time it wasn't due to scheduling his work or afternoon plans in his head, but an internal struggle with what he liked to consider as misguided thoughts.
it was one of the few times his mind didn't fall so easily into order as normally. neji didn’t know his mind was tricking him the way he didn’t like it at all. he usually keeps everything under control. anything else, in his view, was unknown, unwelcome, and perhaps maybe even a little dangerous.
because before everything else neji was a gentleman. and that’s because he knew very well that he shouldn’t be looking in your direction the way he was doing it at this moment. not with his slightly trembling hands and unexpectedly dry throat, even though he was regularly pouring it with sips of warm liquid. all these actions made him realize that what he was seeing wasn’t an ordinary sight, but something that intrigued him in a pleasing way.
because why did his body suddenly start to react so nervously to every slightest trace of your presence? that would explain as well how the sight of your bare skin under white t-shirt and black shorts was something his eyes were constantly running to. all along with the repressed fact that the surface of your hair falling freely over your shoulders and reflected by the sun's rays were unbelievably tempting for him to run his fingers through.
and besides struggling with banishing all these thoughts for the whole day, now, before 11pm on friday, he was losing his mind because you weren’t home yet. even though you clearly declared going out for one of your friend’s birthday meetings, he began to worry. isn’t it pretty natural, even for a roommate? because this knowledge soothed his frantic mind for the first couple of hours, but the fact that you weren't here so late at night was slowly driving him to the edge of madness.
he didn't usually plot dark scenarios and he didn’t like to assume the worst, therefore the thoughts that occupied his head were even more incomprehensible to him. it's not like it was the first time you came home late — this happened a few times already. so maybe it's just a bad feeling that's driving him today? maybe he should call you? after all, he has your number saved from the beginning of your acquaintance.
but then he finally hears the soft tapping of boots under the door and the turning of a key. like a huge boulder, all the stress that had kept him in suspense for the last dozens of minutes set him free. he exhaled loudly before you could get inside and notice the deeply worried expression on his confused, delicate face.
‘neji?’ the surprise in the tone of your voice when you spelled his name seemed extremely soothing to him. ‘oh, i’m sorry for waking you up…’
‘i must have fallen asleep while reading, so don’t worry.’
he lied, but it was the only way he could justify his sudden presence in the antechamber in such a short period of time. to confirm this version of events, he rubbed his allegedly sleepy eyes with the back of his hand, then watched as you slowly slipped off your shoes while examining your entire figure.
‘i still need to take a shower so even better it happened. how was the evening by the way?’ he asked after a while.
‘great, actually. we started with a movie in the cinema and ended up having a chinese food for a dinner...’
he was naturally a good listener, always paying attention to every word so as not to miss any detail. but now, though he remembered every word that came out of your plump lips, his thoughts wandered elsewhere and you almost figured it out.
‘...but the rest wasn't much different from the other days I spent with the girls. tell me about your day, neji’ you continued while making your way to the kitchen.
‘definitely not worth mentioning at all’ he said, following your footsteps.
‘so it turns out that we have nothing to talk about?’ you giggled as you put your bag on the chair.
‘seems fine to me’ he answered shortly, the corners of his mouth turned up slightly.
and he wasn’t lying. for now, just your presence, the rustle of your clothes and the sound of your breath were soothing to him. the soft clatter of your footsteps with the smell of soap you brought with you from the bathroom after you washed your hands, windblown hair. even your slightly tense shoulders, reddened nose or irritated hand skin. neji watched you as you stood up and slowly made your way over to him. she's just going to get some water, he thought before a slight gust of air brought your perfume to him and any other thought crossed his mind.
watching as you leaned against the top of the sideboard and tried to reach the glass made him a little nervous — what was possibly caused by your sudden closeness. he moved back a little to give you enough room for this manoeuvre but before you touched the holder with your fingertips, your body swayed as you stood on your toes. his reflexes brought him back to you with his arms outstretched in front of him, perfectly matched to the shape of your shoulders and waist, which his hands grasped.
‘did i mention 3 drinks in my story? can be crucial.’
neji didn't laugh or even smile very often. maybe he got it from his father, maybe it had nothing to do with his genes or family, but he knew it wasn't a common reaction to him. now, however, his slightly muffled giggle was spreading throughout his body, to which you were still clinging, because in response to your confession and slightly astonished expression, he forgot that he could easily put you on the ground.
‘perfect timing for this, y/n.’
and maybe he went crazy, but for a moment he thought you fit in his arms perfectly. it even seemed that you too were in no hurry to stand up. he was sure that more than alcohol it was accidental imbalance of your body that caused the whole situation so the only thing that really bothered him was how unnaturally cold your skin felt.
‘thanks for your help, neji...’
‘aren’t you cold?’ he asked, almost cutting your sentence off. his fingers were still clenched on your skin, lightly tracing its ruffled structure.
‘it started to blow a bit in the evening, but i’m not, really’
‘you should take a hot bath’ he suggested without hesitation in the timbre of his voice, gaze closely set on your slightly trembling fingers, what, in fact, wasn't really happening because of the temperature.
‘i appreciate the concern but i think i’m perfectly fine…’
‘at least let me make you something to warm you up’ and not waiting for your silent acceptance, he let your hands go, sending you a gentle smile as he turned towards the rack of cups. he picked up the one you chose the most often, considered it your favorite long time ago. you also couldn’t be more surprised as he reached for your chamomile tea. you had no idea he knew where you keep them too, but seeing his confident movements, he probably kept many other details about your daily habits because he even heated the water to the right temperature.
neji flicked the button of the electric kettle and poured boiling water over the already prepared bag of herbs. then, after a while, he moved the cup under your nose and leaned against the kitchen counter. he put his hands in pants pockets, not sure what to do next. leave, of course, he thought, but surprisingly to him that was exactly what he wanted to avoid the most.
‘thank you, neji’ you mumbled, the smell of rising steam caressing your nostrils.
‘you’re welcome’ he replied almost immediately. you stirred your drink with a spoon a few times, waiting for the tea to cool. meanwhile, neji asked about a broken cupboard hinge that should have been reported to the landlord, then he calmly listened to your complaint about the window not closing properly for the last three days, which you have already reported, but no one has been sent to fix it.
after a couple of minutes you took the first sip of the beverage which melted down your throat, while hyūga was watching the whole procedure respectfully but his thoughts began to deceive him and focus on the shape of your fingers and whether they are still as cold as a moment ago.
‘have you ever tried it?’ you clearly surprised him with your sudden question as you pointed your forefinger at drink.
‘i never had the chance’ he admitted honestly, maybe a little confused. he drunk sencha, peppermint and matcha tea many times but chamomile perhaps occasionally in the past and that’s how he did not remember it.
‘now you have! come, sit down’ you slid your cup across the table towards him, inviting him by pulling out the chair next to you so that neji, who had been standing in the same place for several minutes, could take it.
after a moment he finally, but hesitantly sat down. however, when you handed him your drink he felt that he should not give, just like he didn't want to say no to you as well. he felt guilty that you’re still maybe even a little drunk or maybe overwhelmed by all his actions but at the same time you were looking at him so kindly, just wanting to share one of your favorite things in this world.
not wanting to dwell on it any longer, he took the cup and brought it to his face. naturally, of all things to think about the only one was that your lips were here first to kiss the brew just a few seconds ago and he was about to do the same too. to imagine that he was indirectly tasting them made his stomach twist and a noticeable mark of lip balm on the cup that they left only made everything worse. he took a small sip and his heart started to beat even crazier when he poured the liquid into his mouth.
‘it tastes... very herbal.’
a sweet, melodious laugh left your lips.
‘did you expect something specific?’
‘of course i did not. but the flavor is more intriguing than i imagined.’
‘if so, do you mind more?’
‘no, thank you. i'll try some another time. the aftertaste somehow seems calming.’
paradoxically, the moment you put your lips to the cup again, any calmness left neji's body aside. he looked at them like he was doing something illegal, especially when he got a tickling feeling in his stomach, yet couldn't look away. he realized that your mouth are pressed almost in the same place he already marked with his. those same, perfectly plump and probably very, very warm lips must have tasted the warmth of his own right now. neji’s pulse began to accelerate as he lost control again and hated it in that moment like never before.
with a blink of an eye he imagined the moisture of your lips exchanging not on the rim of some ceramic cup, but on his own. once he got to know the touch of your skin today, he only relentlessly wanted more. as he accidentally grabbed you by your waist and by your wrists today, it turned out he wanted to tighten his fingers on other parts of your body too. to know how chamomile tea tastes straight from the corners of your mouth, even your tongue. what it's like to have you close not only because of an accident and to warm your body with the heat of his own. he wanted to know it all, not knowing that this desire had been sitting within him for some time, manifesting itself in an attentive focus on your person.
because all the time before neji thought it was normal that so many songs from your playlist that you listened to in your room was running through his head so often. that quite objectively he thought that you had very neat hair and he liked the smell of your shampoo in the morning so much just because it fits his taste. that he really never paid attention to your body parts at all but only pieces of clothing you were wearing because he liked your color palette. and that the daily ‘good morning’ was not really all about the soothing sound of your voice and your presence, which without he couldn’t imagine any good mornings.
he felt as if it was him who got drunk, not you, and not after only three drinks. so as a solution he needed a literal refreshing bucket of cold water in the shower. neji had to analyze his emotions alone which surely won't keep him busy just this one night but also many, many more.
as if roused from his reverie, neji rose from his chair, much more hurriedly than he had intended. forcing himself to ignore the slightly confused look on your face, because no matter what, he needed to get out of the kitchen as soon as possible. and before you could ask him anything, he was leaving with a goodbye promise:
‘next time you will be coming back this late just give me a sign. i'll pick you up.’
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