#negativities

 Its not that i dont talk to them anymore, from time to time i do, and i still walk with them to where we take our rides going home. I got tired from taking all of the things they throw at me, directly and indirectly. I dont feel the security that i thought i had from them especially during the times i need people to talk things to. Mas naeenjoy ko pa makausap yung mga taong kasama ko sa block but i didnt get to be with most of the times because im with them. In my 5 years of stay in this college, i felt like i couldve had more fun in life if i didnt limit myself with these people. Well actually the other person admits that was born boring and gonna live a boring life as well. There’s nothing wrong with that each one of us has the rights to choose what kind of life are we gonna live by. The other persons, i dont know anymore. They make fun of the things i do and how i live my life. And a good friend shouldnt be that. I never belittled them, talked shit about them but they still managed to talk behind my back as if wouldnt be able to tell that somethings is starting to be off. I thought i could take things, but hell no. Instead of keeping these rumbled up feelings inside me which turned out so badly given that i also have been through a break up at that time, i gathered my thoughts and myself as well and promised to myself that i wouldnt wait for 2017 to come to start changing things and let myself lead my very own life. 

I used to laugh at things people tell me because I thought that responding to what they throw at me would be rude. I realized that It’s not rude to stand on your own. To tell them that how they treat you badly is something that you will not approve of especially if you dont do things that harms them. What made “studying in a public school if your family can actually afford to send you to a school with a good name” a laughing matter? Should i be ashamed that entered this school if my family can afford the fees in a private school, that an another youth could have been more deserving of my slot for the scholarship, someone whose parents or even his or herself cant send him to college? NO, I AM NOT. First and foremost, i took the exam without the help of anyone, without any under-the-table process. I was legitimately qualified to entered the school especially after passing the exams and there are not limits to the number of students that will be qualified for the scholarship, if you passed the exam regardless of your standing in the society youre a scholar. And to clear things even more, my family is not crazy rich. I am not a daughter of a politician, a doctor, a lawyer, an engineer or whatsoever professional that are linked to have big salaries. My father was raised by my grandma all by herself since my “lolo” passed away when my father and aunt were still young. They had to work after school just to have something to eat when my mother on the other side grew up in a slightly comfortable life.