#negative 00

i am honestly so cruel to this body. today i drove straight from a party to my 8am class hungover as fuck and coming off weed and molly with no sleep after not eating for days and this is like a regular occurrence. my modus operandi if you will. i literally have to take 40 milligrams of adderal everyday just to stay standing upright. and i was about to pop another addy and hit the gym then go right back to raging after class ended until i almost passed out in the campus parking lot and my friend was like “just give yourself a minute”. the way i live my life is honestly taking such a toll but I'm so scared of slowing down 

anyone else stay in spaces directly detrimental to your mental health on account of like, the likelihood that as soon as you leave people completely ignore who you were as a person you and ridicule you behind your back on merits like "they said something that made me uncomfortable", "they were kind of annoying anyway," "i never understood anything they were talking about," "they were always pushing x down my throat," "they probably werent even trustworthy/good/unproblematic anyways"; petty grievances that they never addressed with you, but they still hold them against you anyways

im not reblogging discourse shit on this blog but how do people not get that the entire point of being against cringe culture is to stop shaming kids for harmless interests and theres a big sexy difference between cringe culture and defending nazi propaganda

hmmm yeah now that i realize it maybe being part of the tos community when i was 13 years old made me worse off as a person five years later :)