#neetspeak

I think in an autistic attempt to “catch up with everything” I got myself into this super stale super boring climb on the ledge of the technical equivalent of Mt. Everest instead of actually making fun projects and solving puzzles and playing at the PL park.. 

To the point where I forgot how to do any of these things and how to get myself excited for them, to the point where I can’t shake off the bleak pessimist outlook from learning about and focusing on all the ugliness that happens underneath the hood.

My first thought when I look at a complex system is “this looks inefficient, I don’t like it, why would anyone use it?” as if I’m already writing high performance industrial solutions, instead of “Cool, I want to do something interesting with this”

it really hit me when someone way smarter than me, Evan, the creator of Elm, went and said “part of this [design] is technical, like you have to write a compiler and stuff,” completely brushing the whole compiler writing endeavor off, “but part of it is practical, [and fun]“.

I need to get myself out of that greyness and sort out my priorities, but I’m scared and don’t know where to start. All the hobby computer stuff is uncharted territory to me.

THE MOST SATISFYING OUTCOME