Diario de una chica trans
Anyway, your girl Carla is going camping before she does, she was nervous and lowkey dysphoric before she got the haircut, But she knew she was going to get it. Anyway being very nervous eventually the day came I got hair cut, during the day I felt very uneasy and weary, and after the cut, I felt completely dysphoric and distraught.
During that day we got a lot of snacks and I went to my Mom friend's house get a Tub and we went back home, forgot the green suitcase anyway, towards home when my mom drove in the driveway she said, one of the most condescending things she said that day that reinforced the dysphoria even more.
She literally said," Well Carl don't make permanent decisions off of temporary emotions, cause all that gay shit can get you outcasted and embarrassed and, I touched girls during house or got into the same-sex sexual encounter but I'm straight, I'm just saying choose the path God chose you." This made me Livida completely made me livid in every definition, but after 15 minutes I was able to cool off and rationalize her argument and dissect it.
First of all, I love how she didn't mention the same with homosexuality only with heterosexuality, shows the real bias and dislike towards queer people in general, she conflates sex encounters with queer identity but never with heterosexuality, in fact, she says that heterosexuality is just something you like, but she never gives same credit to homosexuality to her view I have observed homosexuality is a byproduct of sexual encounter or molestation, saying that aspect of homosexuality is a system or either be a bitch or make someone into a bitch.
But that isn't sexuality that's rape that control, sexuality is about an aspect of not an only human attraction but it is of love, rather who your with and how you feel comfortable being with that person, Sexuality has 9 aspects to it, Personality, Relationship, Sex, Gender, Attraction, Trust, Sacrifice, Love, Passion, Romance. Sexually on every spectrum rather heteroromantic / etc or heterosexual / etc, all sexually is equal and diverse, to say one is standard everything else is weird means you just don't understand that concept of reality.
Moving on, Her remark" Well Carl don't make permanent decisions off of temporary emotions," is aimed at me being trans, which again reverts back to her own point of sexuality, if you know what you like and feel comfortable in it, then not only it apply to all sexuality it also applies to gender identity except the difference is gender is who you are, and how you express yourself gender and sexuality is different simply because sexuality is who your with and gender is again "who you are, or how you express your gender." For example, someone can be cis-heterosexual male but wear makeup and vice versa that's an example of gender expression it's how they present who they are, gender identity is who you are regardless of presentation because it's your gender no one can define it but you.
So the point of saying," gender identity is who you are regardless of presentation because it's your gender no one can define it but you." is your pretty much trying to define who I am when only I can define that, and not just that but putting control over it, this is the clear double standard cause this never happens with cis-heterosexuality discussion or family or system, only when it comes to queer people this is a matter of discussion.
Because of this same ignorance I'm closeted having to suffer all this bullshit I don't want but I love myself, and I love others and to keep everyone informed this is the fact of the matter, just stop giving a fuck let people live to stop trying to define people lives cause you don't understand.
That's all good night. I had to vent.
