#needbasedreading

Heya! I’m very sorry for everything you’ve been going through, and really hope you’ll find a way to get the peace and protection from this situation that you need. Also, thank you for your patience in the time it’s taken me to finally get your reading done and written up! To help get some insight, I read from the Buddha Tarot for you.

Given the complexity of your situation, I had a bit of a full on conversation with my deck to try to understand not just what advice you needed but also what was really going on. You provided me with a lot of background on the what of it, but not so much in terms of this guy who is the source of the issues - who is he and why was he doing all these things with such persistence and for so long. So, I’m not sure if you’ve already investigated these questions and already arrived at your own answers, but my deck certainly had some surprising things to say about it.

Though it’s very clear that the impact of these actions has been extremely negative on you for many years in awful ways, my deck was very clear about the fact that it was not done with the intention of harm. Again, I’m unsure whether you have made contact with this person or spirit and tried to find out why they’ve been doing these harmful things to you, but it seems that there may be a deep explanation that it important for you to understand. 

There seems to be some kind of parental or nurturing relationship - perhaps this is someone bonded to you from a past life or they see themselves for whatever reason as your guardian. Whether this is a result of the healing intervention that was done to him or it was already there before that, he seems to have very caring and loving intentions towards you. This is not to undermine what you’ve been through, which was truly awful for you, but perhaps there has been a misunderstanding about why it was happening and who this person or spirit is to you in your life.

When I asked my deck what it is you need to know most to resolve this entire situation for good, you received Amitabha Buddha. He is the embodiment of enlightened compassion, the ultimate form of love and care in an enlightened way. For whatever reason that this being has harmed you for so long and whoever he is, the solution is for you to have compassion and understanding towards him in spite of everything that has happened. If you haven’t already, find a way to make contact and find out the other side of the story. Figure out a way to be compassionate in how you face this situation and defend yourself.

I hope this helps you, and if you’d like me to do a follow up reading on this with more specific questions, I’d be happy to help further!

Thank you for sending me your information and private question! I’m so sorry about your situation, and I very much hope that this reading offers you helpful insights for moving forward onto a better path for you.

PEACOCK  |  Peacocks are said to eat poisonous plants without being affected by them, which is why they are compared to bodhisattvas - beings who chose not to reach the peace and rest of full enlightenment so that they can continue to help others still trapped by the cycle of rebirth. You deeply crave a rest from having to walk this kind of path, but the Peacock is here because this part of you isn’t something you can run away from. 

Remember where you’ve come from and embrace that. Let others imagine you bringing those skill sets forward with you, and understand that it is not just your past but an inseparable part of who you are. Your heart, your compassion, and your past experiences are a part of what makes you beautiful and powerful - just like the peacock. While you may choose a different road, you are still you regardless of which direction you move.

SEVEN OF DOUBLE VAJRAS  |  The card art shows the mudra of dana, a hand position which represents giving and objects that it has given away. This card shows us that your actions are giving things away in a way that may have been forced, required, or unintentional. 

This is a strong confirmation that you have been making sacrifices beyond your means and being stretched too thin. Don’t lose your charitable spirit, that inner compassionate Peacock, but do let yourself close up your hand for now and do what you can to take care of yourself. It’s far beyond needed, and as much self-care as you can muster right now will help carry you through.

THREE OF DOUBLE VAJRAS  |  On the card, you can see two people debating or squabbling. They have pieces of paper showing evidence or arguments for their philosophical views on life. However, this card is not about your mindset - it’s about how you put it into action. When your actions act against others to support your view and not theirs - whether or not that’s your intention - it can cause conflict and negativity. 

As you seek new opportunities and paths for yourself, closely examine what it that others see in you that perhaps you do not. Where can you find alignment and harmony where there have been clashes? Don’t let your actions conflict with others in ways that could lead you down a road that eventually will benefit you the most. Look at things from a new angle, and try to react differently than you have been so far.

EIGHT OF LOTUSES  |  Take a look at the person on this card cutting away leaves from a bush. He has a lot of work to do in clearing the path before him, but he is joyfully focused on the present moment. Cultivating an appreciation for each moment in the “now” is much like pruning a garden - you have to clear out the intrusive thoughts like weeds and be present for the journey rather than yearning after the destination. 

The Eight of Lotuses focuses on the opportunity for joy and peace in our hearts when we focus on the present moment and become mindful of what’s in front of us. You have been having a very difficult time, which makes it very easy to focus on the exact outcome in your future that you’ve been working towards. In the midst of the storm and all your challenges, remember to take a breath and appreciate where you are right now. As counterintuitive as it may seem, gratitude and appreciation for what we already have are often the keys to manifesting the changes that we need to our current situation.