13 for shigegou (feel free to throw Ash in too for somw ot3)
#13: “how can anybody not be afraid of love?” wc: 1 924 read on ao3 here
It was supposed to be a simple research trip to Paldea. Three days, tops, to touch base with some of the consulting researchers on the Paradox Project, which was, of course, closely tied with both Gary’s and Goh’s own research on Primal Reversion and Pokémon phylogeny, respectively.
It’s not the first time they’ve travelled together for something like this, and it usually goes the same way every time: Goh avoiding any overtures Gary might make, like an invite to dinner or a coffee in the morning or the opportunity to slip away from work and do something more fun, just the two of them. If Gary ropes someone else into it, he’ll agree, but otherwise, Gary has been developing a theory about him for some time—and is getting more and more confident that the issue isn’t that Goh is asocial. It’s that he doesn’t want Gary to think he wants to spend any more time alone with him than their jobs force them to.
It’s on that third day, though, that they meet the Tandemaus just outside Mesagoza. It would not have been so striking, if not for the fact that it is cut in half: one lonely mouse, looking distraught without its partner.
Gary is unsurprised when Goh declares, “We can’t just leave it like this.”
Not that Gary would have done anything different himself, but he likes this side of Goh, which for so long was nigh inaccessible. He smiles a bit. “In a charitable mood, are we?”
“Tandemaus that get separated don’t have very high survival rates in the wild,” he explains, as if Gary doesn’t know this. “It’s not like we have anything better to be doing.”
“Well, yeah, because you refused to get something to eat with me.”
He just rolls his eyes. “If you’re that hungry, just go get something. It’s not like I need you to babysit me.”
“And miss out on how you find this little guy’s other half?” Gary steps forward, cautiously, and kneels down to hold a hand out to the frightened Pokémon. It just stares at him, shaking like a leaf.
“Here.” Goh reaches over him, pressing a Berry into his hand. As he stands back and watches, the Tandemaus approaches slowly, sniffing. It must be hungry, to be this trusting. Perhaps they’ve been split up a while, then.
He says as much to Goh, and adds, “That probably means the other one is lost. Can’t imagine any other way a Tandemaus would get separated like this.”
“Well, let’s have this one lead us to some places its partner might have gone, then.”
The separated Tandemaus has come to a stop right in front of Gary’s outstretched hand, now, sniffing at the Berry there in interest. It doesn’t move to eat it, though, so Gary brings his other hand up to rip it in half. Finally, the Pokémon accepts the food offered to it.
“So,” Gary says conversationally, “how’d you end up here all alone, huh?”
Tandemaus nibbles into the Berry, and then looks up with wide, wet eyes. It squeaks something decidedly sad-sounding.
“We’ll help you find your friend,” Goh promises it. “Where did you last see each other?”
Silence, except for the sounds of Tandemaus munching on its half of the Berry. When it is all gone, it finally straightens up and points in the opposite direction of Mesagoza.
“How about I carry you, and you tell us where to go?”
It stares at him for a moment, eyes watering still, and then finally takes one slow step forward, and then two, until it makes it on top of Gary’s palm. Gently, he lifts it up, then glances back at Goh.
“What?” Goh asks, defensively. “You’re leading the way, aren’t you?”
He’s better than he used to be at giving up control of situations like this…in some ways, at least.
Gary just shrugs, though. “If that’s what you want,” he says. He doesn’t stay looking at Goh long enough to see the way he scowls in response to that.
But, still, as Gary lets Tandemaus guide them, Goh follows.
Tandemaus leads them to a few places, each as void of its partner as the last. Just when Gary is beginning to wonder if it might be too late to reunite them, Goh says, “Gary, look.”
He comes to a halt, turning to see where Goh is pointing. It’s getting late, and as the sun dips ever lower, the shadows have lengthened significantly. But there, beneath the cover of an undergrown bush, is a little speck of white peeking out at them.
Tandemaus sees it, too, and squeaks at Gary to let it down. He does so, then falls into step beside Goh to watch the two of them come together again.
Except, that’s not what happens.
The lonely Tandemaus approaches its solo partner with urgency, reaching out for its hand to pull it into their view. But its partner clearly does not share its enthusiasm, and immediately begins squeaking angrily. Its eyes are bright under the violent red of the sinking sun. Its body language is clear: Get away from me.
The Tandemaus they befriended turns around and comes back to them, head bowed sadly. Gary kneels down to meet it, while Goh stands and watches the other one with a stony expression. It doesn’t run away, just sits beneath the greenery again, brooding.
“Guess they must’ve had a fight,” Gary remarks.
The Tandemaus in front of his squeaks sadly, in what he can only assume is agreement.
“What do Tandemaus even have to fight over?” Gary glances up at Goh, frowning. “Hello? Any brilliant ideas? You’re right that unpaired Tandemaus don’t make it long in the wild, so it’s in their best interest that we help them smooth this over sooner than later.”
Goh jerks his gaze away from the bush. He’s quiet for a moment, and then he mutters, “Maybe we shouldn’t get involved.”
“Oh, come on. You’re the one who said we needed to help.”
“Well, yeah, when I thought they’d gotten separated accidentally.”
“What difference does it make?”
Goh sighs. Suddenly, he won’t meet Gary’s eyes. “It’s rare, but sometimes Tandemaus pairs aren’t compatible with each other. We brought them back together. We can’t make them get along.”
Tandemaus squeaks again, drawing Gary’s attention back to it. It’s gesturing wildly towards the bush, with a desperate look in its eyes. And suddenly, Gary gets it—that expression on the other Tandemaus’s face. Not anger. Something else.
“Your buddy’s scared of something,” he guesses. “But nothing you say is convincing it, huh?”
Tandemaus deflates with a nod.
“Still think we can’t help?” Gary shoots at Goh, who is still not looking at him.
But he hears him, and that’s what matters.
“Fine,” he grumbles. “I’ll go talk to the other one.”
With that, he stalks off towards the bush. As he goes, Gary shifts his gaze down at the Pokémon in front of him and offers it a fond smile.
“They’re kinda similar, aren’t they?”
It cocks its head at him, confused.
“It’s easier to get mad than it is to admit you’re freaked out by something. Goh does it all the time, even though he thinks I don’t realize it. Once it stops being annoying, it can even be cute sometimes.”
A pensive squeak, bordering on disbelief, has Gary chuckling.
“Guess even the best duos need practice at getting along sometimes, huh? It’ll get easier. But you’re better together than you are apart. Don’t look now, but…”
He nods towards the bush, where its other half is being coaxed forward by Goh. Whatever he’s saying, it’s too quiet for Gary to catch, but a glimpse of his expression under the rising moon settles something within Gary’s chest, that same softness he has come to appreciate in those rare moments Goh lets his guard down.
“Why not meet halfway?” he suggests, and pushes himself back on his feet in order to give the Tandemaus room to move away from him, towards the other. They approach each other slowly, as Goh backs away to give them space. The tone has shifted dramatically, as they exchange subdued squeaks and then reach out for each other with tearful eyes.
Here, Gary looks away to focus on Goh, who is awfully quiet despite his clear success at encouraging the Tandemaus.
After a moment of observation, he asks, “Did you figure out what was spooking it so much?”
“I took a guess,” Goh says.
“And?”
“Who knows if I was right or not?” He sighs, looking down at his feet. “Tandemaus share everything, whether they want to or not. That’s a lot of trust.”
“What, so you think it was scared to commit to the other one forever? Isn’t that kinda what they do?”
“Yeah, but…” His shoulders hunch up. “How can anybody not be afraid of love?”
That feeling in Gary’s chest melts into something else, something cold and heavy. All too aware of how tense Goh’s muscles have become, he reaches a hand out to fall on his shoulder.
A sharp, stilted breath, and then he forces himself to relax again. When he looks up at Gary, his expression has shuttered again.
“A-anyway, we should really get back. It’s getting dark.”
“Really?”
“Well, you don’t want to be out here all night, do you?”
“You’re being a coward,” Gary tells him, and feels his lips twitch in satisfaction at the way Goh’s jaw twitches. He continues: “I guess if you don’t wanna tell me whatever you told the Tandemaus, fine. But a little honesty clearly worked out for it, so what makes you so sure it’ll kill you?”
“Shut up,” he mutters. “This has nothing to do with me.”
“Yeah, it does. Being scared doesn’t stop anyone from loving you, y’know. It just stops you from knowing how it actually feels to be loved.”
“I’m not scared.”
“Oh, really? Isn’t that what you just said?” Gary pauses, then pulls his hand away from Goh’s arm. Just as he turns to begin walking towards Mesagoza again, he adds over his shoulder, “I guess if you really want me to believe that, you’ll have to find some way to prove it.”
A beat passes, and then Goh reaches out to grab his wrist, pulling him back around again. Gary only just registers the determined glint in his eyes before he is pressing their lips together. Goh’s free hand comes up to cup his face, while the other slacken its hold on Gary’s wrist, just enough for Gary to drop his hand down to intertwine their fingers.
When, only seconds later, Goh pulls away, that determination has been doused entirely, replaced by all the fear he has been insisting all this time does not control him. When he tries to back away, Gary tightens his hold on his hand and draws him back in.
“I’m not convinced quite yet,” Gary tells him, and brings their mouths together again. This time, Goh melts into him, a concession of control. It is soft and sweet, and lingers for only a few fleeting moments.
This time, when they come apart, they remain close, their shoulders brushing together as they fall into step beside each other.
It’s only after they are halfway back to the city that Goh says, very quietly, “Dinner together doesn’t sound so bad.”
Gary just smiles, and squeezes the hand still held comfortably in his. It was only a matter of time before Goh made a move to prove his theory wrong.
