Absolutely Brilliant (READ IT OUT LOUD)
Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.Ā
As part of the negotiations, theĀ British GovernmentĀ Ā Ā Ā Ā conceded that English spelling had some room forĀ improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would becomeĀ known as "Euro-English".Ā
In the first year, "s" willĀ replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jumpĀ with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This shouldĀ klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
ThereĀ will be growing publik enthusiasm inĀ the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f"..Ā This will make words like fotograf 20%Ā shorter.Ā
In theĀ 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expektedĀ to reach the stage where more komplikated changes areĀ possible.Ā
Governments will enkourage the removal of doubleĀ letters which have always ben a deterent to akurateĀ speling.Ā
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of theĀ silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should goĀ away.Ā
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps suchĀ as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".Ā
During ze fifzĀ yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd fromĀ vordskontaining "ou"Ā and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reilĀ sensiĀ bl ritenĀ styl.Ā
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vilĀ find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finaliĀ kum tru.Ā
UndĀ efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in zeĀ forst plas.Ā
(ZEE END!)
