Narrators log-2
As we approach the average college coed, in 2017, we see a colorful scene take place. For instance, there's the burnt out preppie sipping her seventeenth macchiato. Notice how she gives out a brief glare to the passerby in the hallway. As we move on to the male coed hallway, the environment becomes denser.There is now garbage littered throughout the floor. The beta males are trying to study for Midterms. Alas, they will not absorb much information, causing these students to fail miserably. On the other side of the Hallway, there is heavy metal music blasting from the door. Can the occupant in room 302 please shut down that loud music? I’m trying to dramatically narrate here!
As I wander around the sleepy college hallway, one wonders why I’m here. Where did I come from? Why is yours truly stuck narrating the exploits of young adults? I had a life once. I had a family and job. An actual job! I had a wife with two kids, Lizzy and Xavier. How do they sleep at night knowing their father has a measly job? Anyway, I’ve got to continue narrating or else no pay for tonight.
The cheerleader sleeps on her desk, burnt out. Obviously, she lacks the macchiato, from the preppy. Her parents are so not going to be pleased when her grades fall to F’s and D’s. F’s and D’s? Oh my gosh! I have to prepare for that exam tomorrow! She grabs her textbooks and flashcards. Soon, she tries to keep her eyes open. It’s no use. She needs to go to bed. Oh no, you don’t! She yells at herself. Come on brain! We’re going to get some coffee and a cold shower! She marches herself to the doorway. Suddenly she feels the strong urge to collapse on her bed. Suddenly the silence is interrupted by the sharp squeaks of the shower nozzle. Wow, you sure are stubborn. I love taking a shower in the middle of the night! It’s a good time to forget everything in your life! Wish I could do that. The preppy cheerleader lathers her hair, letting the soap circle the drain. Her eyes pierce wide open. All of a sudden her heart beats rapidly. Her heart beats with renewed energy. It’s official: she’s awake. She emits a groan and places her head on the wall. She needs a coffee. Her life as a cheerleader started out as a child. She wanted to win the state championship. So she prepared, which meant she had to stay up late. The Cheerleader was intelligent, as she passed her tests. Her essay writing was also remarkable.
So why was she here? I’m here to achieve my dreams! WHICH IS CHEERLEADING! Yay!
I, on the other hand, had dreams too. My narrating career started when I was a small boy. My adorable voice over had jump-started my career. However, my prepubic voice cracked during the voice over. So, I was removed from the radio voice over. “The only problem was your voice”. You see, my voice didn’t just crack; it stayed the same range. I did not have a dramatic baritone voice, only an effeminate tone. In fact, as a teenager, I was often mistaken for a girl. I resembled one too. I have a lean body, which strangely does not produce fat. I also grew my hair out. I wore my blond hair out at mid length, which oddly enough gave me an advantage with the student body. My high school years were filled with idolizing Boy George and Ru Paul, drag Queen.
Boy George? Like Karma Chameleon? Yes. I was very effeminate. The local girls had formed a posse around me. They defended me from bullies and generally nasty people. My life had been like a moat, as I felt safe. One day, however, I met one of my many ex-wives. Her name was Alice. We were inseparable. One day, however, she walked in on me. Ever since then, I have been searching for some place to call home. This college provides shelter for me. You’ve been in a string of relationships? I know I’ve seen you before, but where? Ah ha! The cheerleader snaps her fingers. You were on that BBC program in the early 2000s!
Ah yes. The 2000s. I regret every minute of that decade. My eyes still burn after remembering my fashion choices. That decade and the earlier part of this one were awful. I drank heavily, to combat my insecurities.
About what?
I shiver to myself. The people I’ve known turn away from me when they know my secret. “It’s personal.” What’s personal? I shake my head. “I’m confused”. About what? the girl inquires. I shift my legs so she doesn’t notice. “I-I-m”. I stutter, “What? You can tell me.” Finally. Someone to come out to. “Gay? Lesbian? Transgender?” “Hermaphrodite” There's a long pause. The cheerleader sucked in her breath. My parents never told me I had different organs. I just discovered that I had both female and male characteristics only a few months ago. “Could you please help me?” My cheeks feel warm. Tears were rushing down my face. The cheerleader tucked her towel around her body. “Whats your name?” “Dorothy.” “My names Dorothy and it’s nice to meet you”.
