#nabi is typing...

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I can feel Mammon's presence behind me. He shuffles from one foot to the other, unsure how to approach until he seemingly can't hold back anymore.

"Hey, ya ok?

I can't break out of my trance, answering on autopilot. 

"Yeah, m'fine."

I hear him grumble as he takes a couple of steps closer. 

"Don't believe ya."

"M'fine."

"No. Ya ain't." He's standing next to me now. I can feel his concerned eyes bore into the side of me.

"What makes you say that?" I can't bring myself to look at him, knowing that if I do, I'll break immediately.

"Well, for starters, how long y've been brewin' an' stirrin' that coffee. Second, I've lost count of how many cups y've had today." He puts his hand over mine to stop me stirring the over-brewed coffee. I jump a little at the sudden contact.

"Third, we've barely been talkin'. All yer messages are super dry. And lastly," Mammon cups my face and makes me look at him. His eyes soften, though I don't miss how his expression falls a little when he takes me in.

 "Those bags under yer eyes are lookin' damn heavy recently." 

My breath hitches in my throat. Like a crooked hand creeping higher and higher and closing around my neck, I feel the lump forming and tightening. My eyes sting as it gets harder and harder not to crumble in Mammon's warmth. I try to stutter out some words, some hollow excuse to maintain the facade and ensure he wouldn't worry. But it's too late for that. I know he sees right through me. My chest burns. I can't find my breath. My eyes are everywhere except on Mammon as I try to fight the storm swirling in the pit of my stomach. 

Pathetic. I tell myself. Weak. Burdensome. The brothers don't even like y-

"Hey! Look at me." Mammon grasps my shoulders and leans down to meet my eyes as if he could read my thoughts. "Doncha know? I love ya. So much."

A choked sob finally bubbles painfully from my throat, and my vision blurs with tears. 

Mammon firmly pulls me to his chest, the front of his shirt becoming soaked instantly. I hear his heart thrumming against his chest, clearly fighting his nerves for my sake. 

"Let it out. M'here." He sways us gently.

"It's ok if things're bad right now. But ya don't have to struggle alone. Let me carry some of the weight, kay? The Great Mammon is strong enough."

We stayed like this for some time until I had finally cried all I could. I feel numb, my head throbs. But I feel safe in Mammon's arms. 

He shifts to rest his chin on top of my head. 

"Wanna talk 'bout it?"

I think for a moment, trying to find my words. My voice is hoarse, barely a whisper.

"Sometimes, I just feel so sad. I can't explain it or describe it." I grip the material of his shirt.

"I'll be doing just fine. Then, the second I become aware that I'm doing fine, the darkness creeps back in. Sometimes, there are triggers. Other times, there aren't. I wish it made sense."

I feel Mammon's hand tracing patterns on my back as he listens.

"And sometimes, I think this is it; I've finally hit rock bottom. But then I find out there's a fucking basement."

He doesn't speak for a moment, seemingly searching his mind for the right thing to say. 

"I'm....so sorry." He settles, letting out a breath he had been holding. "I wish I could take that pain away from ya."

I snake my arms around his waist and breathe in his scent. I turn my face to place a gentle kiss on his heart.

"You already do just by being around." I breathe. "You mean so much to me, Mams. More than you know. I can't imagine my life without you now." I croak out. 

I feel him tense at my show of affection. He pulls me in tighter as if I would get snatched away from him if he let go, even for a second. 

"W-well, of course! I'm yer first, after all!" 

He takes a moment to gather himself and then speaks with sincerity. 

"Yer my human. My one and only. I don't want to lose ya."

His voice becomes small. 

"Can't lose ya."

"I'm sorry for worrying you." 

"Nothin' to apologise for." He shakes his head. "Just stick around, yeah?" He pulls back just enough to meet my puffy eyes once more. I nod in agreement. He seems to consider something for a second, not entirely satisfied. 

"Pinky Promise?" He holds his hand up to me, little finger extended.

I can't help the small smile that tugs at the corners of my mouth. Ah yes, the Avatar of Greed, the second strongest of the seven lords of the Devildom, who deals in pinky promises. My heart squeezes at the sight of the demon before me. My darkness seems to ease in this moment as I wrap my pinky tightly around his.

"Pinky Promise."

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"My Treasure."

As the words left Mammon's grinning lips, my heart skipped a beat and my breath caught in my chest. I didn't even realise my eyes were welling up until the tears had already fallen onto my cheeks and Mammon rushed towards me. He enveloped me in his arms, stuttering variations of "what's wrong" and "m'sorry". He cooed and swayed slightly, kissing the top of my head and swiping his thumb gently across my cheeks to catch my tears.

"I didn't mean ta upset ya." He all but whispered. "I won't say it again."

"No!" I lifted my head with a jolt to look into his eyes. "It- it's…it's OK. I like it. It's just, "Treasure" is what they used to call me…" I trailed off, feeling more tears flooding my vision. Realisation hit Mammon all at once. He squeezed me lightly and pulled my face into his neck.

"C'mere. M'sorry baby. I know it ain't easy, missing someone. I can't bring 'em back. But I can hold ya, Treasure." He paused to kiss my temple.

"My Treasure."

His hand trailed slowly up and down my back, stopping every so often to rub circles. I felt my heart rate slow in his arms. I breathed in his scent and pressed a soft kiss to his neck. As I did, I felt him stiffen for a second before relaxing again. I couldn't help the smile that bloomed across my face at his bashfulness.

"Thank you, Mammon."

"You're alright, Little Dove. I'm here. I've got you." He hushed, wrapping his arms around me more. "Come. Let's go inside and I'll make you some tea." He ushered me inside, trying his best to keep me as close to him as he could.

We sat down at the tea table in the main room of the Kamisato household. It was late, so everyone was asleep. But Thoma knew that no one would mind. He quietly poured the brewed tea into my cup from where he sat across from me. I had calmed my sobs, but tears still rolled silently down my face. I pulled the jacket he had given me over my shoulders more, taking in his scent. It was warm and earthy with a hint of sweetness. It was Thoma. His voice drew my attention upwards, to be greeted with his beautiful eyes.

"Do you think you can tell me exactly what happened? If you want to, that is."

I gathered my courage and released the breath I had been holding in. My voice was hoarse and quiet as I explained what brought me here to him in the dead of night. It had happened a million times before. And Thoma had always been there to pick up the pieces. But this time was different. This time, I wanted to tell him the whole truth and not just a fragmented truth in an attempt to spare myself from the look of pity. Because the truth is that Thoma never pitied me. I just didn't want him to see me as weak. Despite that, here I was, broken down in front of him. My soul was finally completely bare and open to him.

Normally, I would just say "it was just an argument". Then I'd smile and we'd move on.

But this time was different.

This time, I told him everything. I told him about the years of emotional, psychological abuse I endured at the hands of the man I called "father". All the names he'd call me, all the ways that he'd tear me down and belittle me, all the ways he'd manipulate me and try to make me think it was somehow my fault. I told Thoma everything. This time, I had finally snapped and felt such a rage course through my veins. A rage like I had never experienced. It shook my whole body to the core. I told Thoma how it made my chest burn and my limbs tingle, and how it terrified me. That's how I ended up here. I was so afraid that I'd hit him and not be able to stop, so I ran and I ran until I found the one person that I was not afraid to hand my entire heart to.

As I finished speaking, I finally dropped the tension from my shoulders. Thoma was silent, yet thoughtful like he was trying to find the right words.

"You know that I knew, right?" He sighed.

My heart sunk. Of course he knew. Nothing slipped past him. I nodded in response.

"I just never knew how to confront you about it. I didn't know for sure and didn't want to make accusations, so I figured you'd tell me when you were ready." He continued, reaching across the table and holding out his hand. I took it shakily.  

"I don't want to go back there, Thoma." I whispered, feeling my eyes well up again.

"That's not even an option. You don't ever have to go back there. I hope I never see that man, for his sake."

I nodded as he shuffled around the table and pulled me into his side. He placed a kiss on my forehead and whispered in my ear.

You're safe.

You're safe.

Before long, I made it to the plaza outside the cathedral, where the statue of Barbatos stood, ever calm and proud. I wandered to stand in front of the archon, gazing up at him. I remained fixated for a while, but eventually gave my head a quick shake and began climbing up the side of the statue. The stone was smooth and I knew that I would most likely break a few bones if I were to fall. Thankfully, I did this frequently and was confident in my abilities. When I finally heaved myself up onto the archon's arms, I carefully stepped along them until I stood in his cupped hands. I shuffled right to the edge before lowering myself and taking a seat in his palms. A sigh of relief left my lips and I took a moment to soak up the view. It was arguably one of the best in Mondstadt and a personal favourite.

Looking out over the city and the rolling hills beyond, I felt my eyes well up. Before I could even stop myself, tears were spilling down my cheeks. Today had been a particularly rough day of monster hunting and I had nearly lost a budding young spirit from the adventurers guild who had requested to join me. Thankfully, he was ok and resting up but the experience had still shaken me. Having that in the back of my mind and then gazing out at the beautiful city I am proud to call my home just caused all of my emotions to surge at once, it would seem. Being so caught up in myself, I didn't notice someone else climbing up the statue until a tall, broad figure took a seat beside me. I was startled at first but quickly recognised the presence to be my dear childhood friend.

"You thought no-one saw you leave the tavern, didn't you?" He spoke in his usual soft, amused tone.

"Hello, Kaeya" I greeted back as I sniffled.

He raised a hand, removing his glove in the process, and began wiping the tears from my face. His expression was soft and caring, and although his hands were cold due to his cryo vision, the way in which he caressed my face could not be any warmer. He looked right into my eyes as if searching for something.

"What's the matter, love?" He finally spoke, concern lacing his voice this time.

"Today was....rough." My voice cracked. "I almost got someone killed, Kaeya."

"It wasn't your fault."

"I know."

"It wasn't your fault." He repeated, firmer this time.

I sighed. I knew he was right but it was also hard to not feel entirely responsible for what happened. It was silent for a few more moments. I could feel Kaeya's eyes on me the whole time as I stared down at my lap.

"What do you need?" He almost whispered.

"Can you just hold my hand?"

And without saying another word, he wrapped his closest arm around me, pulling me into his chest, and with his free hand, he grabbed hold of mine. He gave it a small squeeze, which I reciprocated. We lay back and stared at the night sky. And, for a while, everything felt alright.

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Genshin

Kaeya Alberich

Can You Just Hold My Hand?

Thoma

Safe

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Obey Me

Mammon

Treasure

I'm Fine

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DC Universe

Jason Todd

[Coming Soon]

Misc

What Games Consoles I Think The Batboys Play (Batboys)

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Playlists

Jason Todd (DC)

Dick Grayson (DC)

Tim Drake (DC)

Bruce Wayne (DC)

Garfield Logan (DC, Titans specific)

Mammon (Obey Me)

Leon Kennedy (Resident Evil)

Eddie Munson (Stranger Things)

Fenris (Dragon Age)

Zevran Arainai (Dragon Age)

Cove Holden (Our Life)

Sebastian (Stardew Valley)

Jujutsu Kaisen

Alice In Borderland

[Coming Soon] Sylus (Love and Deepspace)

[Coming Soon] Xavier (Love and Deepspace)

[Coming Soon] Caleb (Love and Deepspace)