"oi, didn't you hear me? i said i hit my forehead against the kitchen cabinet."
you sighed, pausing your potions homework and placing your pen down on the table in an exaggerated motion. "mammon, you've been telling me about this non-existent bump of yours for 5 days straight."
"well, it's not my fault you don't get it!" mammon huffed defensively, mumbling "stupid human..." under his breath.
"...don't get what?" you spun around on your chair, looking up at him and draping your arm over the chair's backrest. the first time he approached you about his bump, you leaned in to inspect his forehead and assessed that he'll be fine, then sent him off on his merry way.... which evidently wasn't the response he was looking for since he approached you with the same problem the next day... and the day after that.
usually, mammon's intentions are clear as day when it comes to things like this, but this time you're actually stumped as to what they are.
"why do i gotta spell everything out for you...?" mammon sounded utterly annoyed at the fact you didn't magically understand the inner machinations of his mind. "alright, listen up, cuz the great mammon will only explain this once."
"when that chihuahua... when he scraped his knee last week, you..." mammon suddenly seemed to run out of words, his cheeks burning a wonderful shade of red.
"i....?" you encouraged, dragging out the syllable.
"y-you know what i mean." it was a silent plea on his end.
"i don't, mammon." you shook your head slightly, smiling up at him. it wasn't meant as a teasing gesture, but you can only suppose he took it that way since he groaned in embarrasment.
there were a couple seconds of grueling silence before he cracked under the pressure.
"youkissedhiskneebetter,...o-or whatever." mammon blurted out. "not that i care if you do it to me! the great mammon couldn't care less!" mammon laughed haughtily, a very obvious coverup for just HOW much he wanted you to do it to him, too.
"hold on, hold on, hold on. what was that?" you questioned, not quite catching what he said at the beginning. something about a... kiss?
"quit teasin' me!" mammon looked like he was about to implode from how red he was.
"i'm not." you replied calmly, raising your brows at him, a silent suggestion he repeat himself.
"ugh, fine... y-you kissed his knee better..." he mumbled, refusing to make eye contact with you.
oh, now everything makes sense. it seems mammon saw you when you kissed luke's knee better last week.
"i can't hear you~" you teased, this time knowingly.
"...YOU KISSED HIS KNEE BETTER! HAPPY NOW?!" mammon yelled so loudly that you're 90% sure the entire house heard him. well, you suppose this is just part of the usual antics the brothers have to hear every day, especially since you arrived.
"oh mammon, if you wanted me to kiss you, you could have just asked." you giggled, getting up from your chair and kissing his forehead, then gently petting the area you just kissed. "there, now it'll heal faster."
mammon was frozen like a statue for several seconds, before attempting to compose himself with an unsure "t-that's right. you'd better do what i tell you!" (which was very obviously not working).
in response, you slapped his lips lightly, making him let out a strange garbled noise of surprise. "oi! what was that for?!" he confronted.
"uh-oh, it seems i've accidentally hurt your lips. want me to kiss them better, too?"
it was really quite amusing to watch mammon's face cycle through different shades of red like a lava lamp.
"N-... NO! NOPE! NUH UH! L-LIKE I'D WANT TO KISS SOME HUMAN!" mammon knocked over at least 5 items while backing away from you, reaching for the door handle and failing at least 3 times before finally stumbling out of your room.
"awww, what a shame. totally thought i would get him this time." you said to no one in particular, sitting back down to finish your homework.