#na jamin

jaemin: you up? jaemin: jeno just talked to me jaemin: said u were getting mouthy

you: what did he tell you?

jaemin: smthn ab u saying i can’t please you jaemin: i don’t think u realize what ur dealing with

Attached was a picture of Jaemin’s thighs in those godforsaken grey sweatpants—yes, the grey sweatpants that could bring a woman to her knees. His perfect, hardened cock strained against the fabric. His large, veiny hand placed right on his thigh.

You fucked up, you realized, but in the best way possible. There were girls who would kill for Na Jaemin to text them like this, but here he was, sending you pictures of him in all his glory. You could recount all the times you made fun of Jaemin for garnering a wide audience of girls on his Twitch channel, but you understood it all too clearly now.

you: idk what you’re talking about

jaemin: hmm jaemin: u sure about that kitten?

Your stomach flipped, dropped, turned—whatever they called it. You were experiencing all those butterflies that people often talked about. Your interactions with Na Jaemin in the past had all been safe-for-work, consisting of platonic food runs and platonic breakdowns over coding assignments together.

Now, though, you were seeing a side to him that you had never expected to witness in a million years. (However, you weren’t complaining).

It took you some time to gather your thoughts because this was one hundred percent the strangest thing that had happened to you in a long, long time. And you were friends with Mark Lee, so weird kind of followed you around on a semi-regular basis.

While your fingers hovered over the keyboard, trying to come up with some response, Jaemin sent another picture. You were at the edge of your couch, elbows resting on your knees as you examined what you had just been sent. Your cheeks felt hot as you relished the sight of Na Jaemin in his boxers, cock thick and hard against the material. You sighed contently at the way his hand pushed up the fabric of his shirt, showing off that delicious v-line. His bulge was sending your brain into overdrive, and you were somewhat flattered because this was OnlyFans material.

jaemin: did u like the surprise baby?

This was insane. Incredible. Out-of-this-world. Something that only happened to girls in cheesy rom-coms (if those cheesy rom-coms happened to be more explicit than PG-13).

A week ago, you were taking care of a wasted Na Jaemin on the floor of his apartment bathroom, and he had you clutching your sides with laughter when he moped about his broken phone. (He dropped it from Jeno’s balcony in a desperate attempt to save his doughnut, but at what cost?). His disheveled state had caught you so off-guard that you almost forgot that he was a big-shot streamer outside of your social circle.

Problem #1: You had no idea how to respond to this.

Something like “wow” or “yes” sounded far too dry, but it was far too cringe to add those stupid heart-eye emojis. Your head was spinning at this point—too fast for you to form a coherent thought—but your brain arrived at a risqué conclusion.

Send a nude back.

It seemed like the only fair thing to do. After all, Jaemin was exposing his body for you, so the courteous thing to do as a friend would be to do the same back. There was the chance, of course, that you would regret this later when you weren’t horny, but right now, this felt like the right thing to do. A noble act of trading nudes for the betterment of your relationship with Na Jaemin.

Problem #2: You had no idea how to take a nude.

Once you had your pajamas off, you felt far more sexy than you did when you were dressed in bunny slippers and a Winnie the Pooh onesie. You were sure the way you tried to angle yourself was not flattering at all. The arch in your back made it obvious that you were trying way too hard. You settled for laying down and deliciously crossing your legs to show off your Victoria’s Secret matching underwear and bra.

The fact that you had to retake the picture about fifteen times was quite embarrassing. Finally, though, you took one that you deemed acceptable to send to Jaemin. Your bra strap was hanging off your shoulder, coupled with your underwear hanging low on your hips.

Your heart was a mess when you hit send, and you stared at the screen for minutes just waiting for him to react.

Five minutes passed.

You drummed your fingers impatiently against your thigh, eyes narrowed at your silent phone. For a while, you thought pretending you didn’t care would spur a notification, but nothing seemed to be working. You even turned it off and then back on to see if your notifications were just being buggy.

Ten minutes. Six hundred seconds. It had been ten minutes since your last message.

The thought of possibly missing the notification crosses your mind, and even though that was virtually impossible since you were watching your phone like a hawk, you gave yourself the benefit of the doubt. You turned your phone on again and sifted through your notifications from various social media apps. Yet, not a single notification was from the one person you were waiting for.

You let out a frustrated sigh and sank back into your seat. Your brain was regressing into flooding with the absolute worst-case scenarios, and you had to remind yourself that no, Y/N, just because Jaemin hasn’t texted you back in six minutes doesn’t mean he got into a car crash.

But now it had been seven minutes, so maybe he had gotten into a car crash.

Amidst your meltdown, though, your phone vibrated. It was a good thing your roommate, Huang Renjun, wasn’t around. If he had seen how you fumbled with your phone, you would’ve been teased endlessly. Who could blame you when it was the first picture of your body you had ever sent? You were still wading in virgin waters, and no one had yet pulled you out.

jaemin: fuck baby jaemin: do u know how hard i am rn? jaemin: god jaemin: u look so pretty in those tiny panties jaemin: mm jaemin: wanna rip them off and make u feel good

The string of texts sent your head in a whirl. Obviously, you were over the moon with his reaction, but when Jaemin’s caller ID popped up on your phone screen, you nearly had a heart attack. Displayed was a picture of him sitting on the sidewalk with a traffic cone on his head. You remembered the exact day you took this; Jaemin was drunk off his ass, and he texted you and Jeno to pick him up from a party. Jeno never responded because he was pages deep in his lab report, so you walked all the way to some satellite frat house to take Jaemin home.

In a matter of seconds, your brain was battling whether to pick up or not. You weren’t sure if you were mentally ready for this conversation or if you were ready for the course of your friendship with Jaemin to change forever, but you steeled your nerves and accepted the call.

“Hey,” came Jaemin’s husky voice. His words were staggered and a little breathless. “So… you picked up.”

“Of course I did,” you replied, willing your voice not to waver. “Um… what’s up?”

Jaemin paused and everything seemed to click for you. Staggered, breathless words. Your heart was freefalling from whatever cloud it was on.

Jaemin was fucking himself while talking to you. Fucking himself because of you.

Quite honestly, this would be the kind of thing that would put you off. You were normally creeped out by men who made such advances on you. However, this time, you felt somewhat flattered considering it was coming from Na Jaemin, the hottest guy you had ever met.

So, now, you were incredibly turned on.

Jaemin scoffed a little, amused. “You thought I’d let you off after you sent that picture?” You could hear shuffling over the line, which your brain determined was him sitting up. “Touch yourself for me, Y/N.”

Problem #3: You had no idea how to touch yourself.

It wasn’t like you never had a horny thought ever. You often found yourself wanting to get yourself off, but no matter how much you tried, you just couldn’t get yourself there. Masturbating left you defeated, rubbing at your folds tiredly with no taste of sweet victory.

“O-okay,” you replied, sliding your hand down the front of your body until it slipped past your underwear.

Your breathing shallowed as your fingers attempted to work on your folds. You prodded at your entrance with careful hands, daring to slip a finger inside, but every time you tried, you couldn’t get past the tight squeeze. Jaemin was groaning and cursing under his breath on the other end of the line, sending shivers down your spine. His husky voice was encouraging you to try even harder, and the way he chanted your name made you feel giddy.

Hundreds of fangirls in the comments of Jaemin’s streams practically begged the man to say their name, and here you were, hearing it so raw and unfiltered and dirty.

You were frustrated, though, because you couldn’t seem to feel any pleasure with what you were trying to do. You supposed you simply didn’t know how to masturbate properly, or you hadn’t found a method that worked for you. Still, when you heard Jaemin groan a little louder and let out an exalted sigh, you tried to fake an orgasm to share the moment with him.

Seconds later, you were caught.

“You didn’t get off, did you?” Jaemin asked, his deep-pitched voice filling your ears like a melody.

Embarrassed, you wished you could shy away from the conversation, but you instead whispered, “I couldn’t.” You paused for a moment. “I wanted to.”

“I knew it.” The inflection in Jaemin’s voice made your head spin, and even more so when he said, “I’m coming over.”

“You are?” you asked, dazed.

“Be there in ten.”

When Jaemin hung up, you stared at your phone for a minute straight. Ten minutes. In ten minutes, Na Jaemin would be at your door, and then he would probably be pinning you up against it. You were about 31.5% prepared for this, so you just about flew to your closet to pick out an outfit. You were certain Jaemin wanted to see the lingerie from the picture you took, so you put on a tank top and a pair of cotton shorts over the set. You were sure he’d appreciate the thin material, especially since it was so revealing.

Ten minutes felt like an eternity.

You swore each second that ticked by lasted milliseconds longer than it should’ve been. You were a bit frustrated that applying a quick layer of lip gloss didn’t take up eight of the minutes, and thus, you ended up staring at your iPhone clock for the remaining duration of time.

Jaemin didn’t even live very far. You two were in the same apartment building, separated by a few floors. On the first day of university, you met him at the housing block party, courtesy of Jeno and Renjun. Those two were the only reason why you knew Jaemin personally and—

Oh god. Renjun.

How were you going to get railed in peace when you shared an apartment with Huang Renjun? It wasn’t like the walls were paper-thin, but, then again, you weren’t experienced enough to know how loud you were during sex.

While you were trying to convince yourself that you might not even lose your virginity tonight, a knock came at the door.

You flew to your feet. In the matter of seconds between you walking to the door and opening it, all you could think about was how you were going to finally slice through the sexual tension between you and Na Jaemin. He was finally going to touch you and show you the pleasure you had been craving. So, you took a deep breath and opened the door, ready for a mind-blowing night.

Or not.

Na Jaemin was indeed at the door, but he wore a sheepish grin as Jeno, Donghyuck, and Mark stood behind him. The expectations you had for tonight were freefalling off the side of a cliff before shattering on the ground.

“Yo, where’s Renjun?” Mark asked, stepping out of his slippers and walking into your apartment like he owned the place. He stuffed his hands in the pocket of his sweater and looked at you. “Y/N, you’re watching National Treasure with us, right?”

“Looks like I am now,” you replied, and only Jaemin seemed to pick up on the bitter undertone in your voice.

He hung back while the other three went to wake Renjun up. Now, you and Jaemin were alone, your friend’s voices becoming background noise from the other room. You were shocked at how the sexual tension fired right back up, and Jaemin’s hand reached forward to grab your hip.

“I tried to go out alone,” he explained, “but Jeno caught me and invited the others when he found out I was going to your place.”

“Oh.” You tried to wave it off like you didn’t mind. “That’s fine. I wanted to watch a movie with everyone, anyway.”

Jaemin snorted, fingers playing with the hem of your shorts. “Is that why you dressed up for me?” He dipped his head to get a better look at you. “You wouldn’t wear something like this just to watch a movie, right?”

Your cheeks heated up when you saw the smirk tugging at his lips. In that moment, you realized you were utterly doomed. There was no way you were going to make it through the night. Not when Jaemin was like this.

“But that’s okay,” he added under his breath, “because I’m the only one who knows what you’re wearing underneath.”

And, because God forbid you have one moment alone with Na Jaemin, cue your roommate followed by your pesky friends.

“Can a guy get some sleep on a Friday night?” Renjun muttered, rubbing his eyes as he walked out of his room. The mischievous grins of his friends followed him out.

“You’re crazy to think you could actually waste away a Friday night,” Donghyuck retorted. “Aren’t you a college student?”

“C’mon, Renjun,” Mark urged. “It’s just two hours.” He looked up to see you and Jaemin at the doorway. “You two are joining us, right? Don’t be lame like Renjun.”

“Lame? I literally woke up to watch it with you guys!” Renjun objected.

You glanced at Jaemin before looking back at the four with a sweet smile on your lips. “How could I miss it?”

The six of you often spent time together like this, so it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary that they were showing up uninvited. Sure, Renjun wasn’t too happy about that, but you knew the best way to make him forget was by making him his own batch of popcorn, so that’s exactly what you offered to do. Everyone else was content with sharing one bowl, but Renjun got snappy if there were too many people pawing through his bowl.

When Jaemin strolled into your kitchen, you already knew trouble was brewing behind those gleaming eyes of his. He hardly tried to help out, normally settling for lounging on the couch until someone forced him to get up. His very presence alerted you that he was up to no good.

Problem was, you liked the sound of no good.

“Renjun’s such a baby.” Jaemin snorted at the sight of you getting a separate bowl of popcorn for your housemate.

You shot him a knowing look. “And you’re not?” you fired back. “As I recall, you were the one complaining about Jeno getting you ketchup instead of honey mustard last week.”

Jaemin leaned against the kitchen counter, a pout settling on his lips. It was funny seeing him so domestic and tame, considering you were listening to him moan over the phone just a while ago. When you assumed the conversation left him defeated, Jaemin decided to speak up once again after you started the microwave. As always, you were left baffled by how horny college boys were.

“So you didn’t touch yourself, huh?”

Jaemin’s eyes were trained on the thin fabric of your shorts. Meanwhile, you were choking on air, hitting your chest to calm your breathing and process how blunt his words were. You were glad your friends were chatting loudly in the living room because this wasn’t a conversation you wanted anyone to eavesdrop on.

The look in Jaemin’s eyes shifted to something darker—more lustful. He tugged your arm closer to him so that he could grab hold of your hip, moving you so that you were in front of him. You were standing right between his legs, pressed close to his body, and you found it hard to breathe because you had never been this close to your friend before.

You knew exactly what you should’ve done. You should’ve pushed Jaemin away, told him this wasn’t the time, and went back to the living room to enjoy your movie night with your friends.

Instead, you gripped the front of his shirt tighter when he moved his hand from your hip to the front of your shorts.

No, no—this was wrong. You weren’t supposed to be doing this with your friend; it would change the entire trajectory of your relationship with him. Moreover, only a wall separated you two from the rest of your friends. What you had to do was—

He dipped his head so that his lips were brushing against the shell of your ear. “Let me show you what you’ve been missing out on.”

—forget everything and let Na Jaemin fuck the daylights out of you.

You were flipped around, hips pushed against the kitchen counter as Jaemin’s impatient hands roamed your body. He groped your tit with one hand as his lips ghosted the skin along your collarbone. You were trying not to whimper from how his other hand was palming your cunt so carefully, like you were glass.

However, when Jaemin’s finger brushed against that one spot that made your head go dizzy and your knees buckle under you, you remembered that you were the biggest virgin and had no idea what to do. The problem was that Jaemin had no idea about your lack of experience. In fact, the reason he was going to these lengths was probably because he thought you knew what you were doing.

The sound of the microwave beeping made you two pull away instantly, like magnets repelling. Mumbling an apology, you took the fresh popcorn out and portioned it in two bowls—one for Renjun and one for everyone else.

Jaemin took one of the bowls. “We can continue this later,” he mumbled in your ear before slinking back to the living room.

You took a second to gather your bearings before following him to where your friends were situated. To your relief, no one added on by asking why you and Jaemin were taking so long in the kitchen. They all seemed to settle into the understanding that you two were terrible at being time-efficient. Donghyuck’s head was buried in his phone, Mark was helping Jeno pick out a movie, and Renjun was rubbing his eyes and pouting. When Jaemin handed him his popcorn bowl, though, he perked right up.

“Thank god,” Renjun gushed. “I was gonna die if I heard Hyuck complain one more time about his side piece flaking on him.”

“Girls are so complicated,” your friend whined in response. “She wanted me but now she’s backing off because she’s scared about losing her virginity, but now she still expects something from me. What am I supposed to do about that?”

Awkward. That was quite literally you.

Jaemin took a seat on the couch beside you. He covered himself with the blanket you were sharing, and the close proximity made you more conscious of him. Maybe you were starting to regret running your mouth because this was the most overwhelming situation you had ever been in. You thought you were going to pass out then and there.

“Hyuck, it’s not like you were looking for a relationship, anyway,” Jeno chimed in. “You and Jaemin terrify me.”

“All I did was sit here and make your popcorn,” Jaemin defended himself. “What did I do for my name to be slandered?”

You snorted. It was no surprise to anyone in your friend group that Jaemin and Donghyuck were probably the two biggest heartbreakers of the group. While Donghyuck simply just had bad luck, Jaemin was the one who got flighty out of nowhere—a true red flag.

This made you even more nervous about starting anything with him. However, when you felt his hand run up your bare thigh, you remembered how red was, in fact, your favorite color.

You spread your legs a little, heart pounding faster than ever. You could barely hear the intervals of your heartbeat. A psychologist should’ve really been analyzing your behavior right now. You hadn’t even tried dipping your toes into the water; you were jumping completely into Na Jaemin.

You knew you had to tell him that you had never gone this far before, but you had no idea how to bring it up. It could go several ways, but the outcomes you were most worried about were a) Jaemin laughing in your face, b) Jaemin distancing himself, or c) Jaemin getting upset because you didn’t tell him earlier.

When he continued circling his fingers over your shorts, though, you realized he was going to find out eventually, whether you told him or not.

He didn’t waste any time before his fingers slid under your shorts and rubbed against your clothed cunt. You pressed your lips together in a thin line, forcing yourself to not cry out when Jaemin’s thumb rubbed precise circles over your clit. It wasn’t all that surprising that he knew exactly where to pleasure you, but you found it hard to keep up with your friends’ conversation while Jaemin was stimulating your clitoris.

You were starting to squirm after a while, so Jaemin took that as his cue to go further. He pushed your underwear aside to rub his fingers along your folds. You hoped you didn’t look as dazed as you felt, but then you had to suppress a moan when you felt his finger ease inside you.

The conversation from your friends was drowning out, and you were staring blankly at the TV screen as Jaemin was slowly fingering you. His thumb circled your clit all the while, testing to see how far he could go. After a while of unresponsiveness from your side, you started squirming again when Jaemin started teasing another finger in you.

“Jaemin, everyone knows you’re the enemy of all women,” Renjun said. He whipped his head around and warned his friend, “I’ll kill you if you go anywhere near Y/N, by the way.”

“Yeah, don’t corrupt our Cherry Girl,” Mark added flatly.

“Cherry Girl?” you asked, wondering if you should be offended or not.

“You know,” Jeno started, “the cherry—like your virginity.”

Ah. Lovely.

You just laughed in response—practiced, empty. It was your little party trick of fooling people into thinking you found something funny. In this case, you were just trying not to slip over the edge and come undone in front of your friends.

Then, you realized you might have fucked up.

Jaemin just found out you were a virgin.

To be fair, virginity was a social construct, so it wasn’t like Na Jaemin had to know you were a pure, untouched maiden.

Okay, so maybe you should’ve told him that before he was knuckles-deep inside you.

“You’re a virgin?” Jaemin asked, and his hand stilled inside of you. Your breath was caught in your throat for a moment, and your eyes darted everywhere but him until you made a strangled sound of confirmation. To your surprise, Jaemin grinned. “Nice.”

“Hey!” Renjun snapped. “What’s nice supposed to mean?”

Jaemin held his free hand up in surrender. “Give me a break. I just meant it’s nice to save yourself for that special someone.”

Renjun seemed sold, but he narrowed his eyes at Jaemin. “I know how horny you get. Don’t corrupt Y/N.”

Jaemin grinned sheepishly at him, and while everyone took that as agreement, you were trying to hold your breath as his two fingers pumped in and out of your cunt. There was no way you were going to get through the movie like this, but Jaemin was insistent.

When you made eye contact with him, the gentle smirk on his lips was enough to make your brain go haywire. He adjusted the way he was sitting on the couch, which you assumed was so that he could get you to sit on his lap. You closed your eyes, and you quickly realized the cinch in your gut was the preamble of an orgasm. However, when Jaemin was in the perfect position, Mark turned and laid down so that his head was in his lap.

“Are you kidding me?” Jaemin whispered, sliding his fingers out of you quickly. You wanted to scream when you felt your oncoming high dissipating.

“What?” Mark complained. “I wanna be comfy for the movie.”

“There’s a lot of ways you can be comfy without being a cockblock, Mark,” Jaemin muttered coldly. When Mark made a sound of confusion, seemingly not hearing his friend, Jaemin turned his head to whisper in your ear, “Do you want me to stay over after they leave?”

It took you a moment to realize that his fingers weren’t in you anymore. You were so sexually frustrated, but you nodded in response, leaving Jaemin smug for the rest of the movie.

Jaemin was a complete loser, you decided.

Not only did he fall asleep on your couch, but when he peeled off his sweater earlier, you discovered that he was wearing a Twitch shirt underneath. He was going to fuck you wearing a Twitch shirt. That was probably the most horrifying news you had come across in a long time, and that was saying a lot considering you found Renjun microwaving his fruit last week.

Mark, Donghyuck, and Jeno weren’t too keen on spending the night on the couch, so they decided to ditch their poor friend and go back to their respective apartments. Renjun slinked back to his room, passing out as soon as his head hit the mattress. Jaemin was left on your couch, one leg dangling off as he hugged a pillow. You left a blanket for him, but he let it drop to the floor after being tucked in for a mere ten minutes.

You scoffed, but you had to admit Jaemin’s sleeping face was adorable. He looked so calm and peaceful when he wasn’t hyped up on several shots of espresso.

“Stop staring at me, creep,” Jaemin mumbled, eyes still closed.

You jumped a little at the sudden accusation. “Aren’t you supposed to be asleep? It’s creepy that you could even tell I was still here… creep,” you fired back.

Jaemin snickered, a playful smile crossing his lips. “What? Did you wanna fuck on the couch?” He shifted slightly so that he was facing you, and this time, he opened his eyes groggily. “I mean, we’re finally alone so—”

“You’re wearing a Twitch t-shirt,” you retorted. “Change into another shirt and I’ll consider it.”

Jaemin pouted. “That’s so mean, Y/N. This is, like, who I am.”

“A Twitch streamer is your entire personality,” you clarified, to which Jaemin nodded. “Enticing.” When your best friend snorted in response, you continued, “Renjun says you’re bad news, so you’ll have to convince me that this is a good idea.”

Jaemin opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He seemed rather stunned by your statement, which was funny considering he didn’t seem to have any objections earlier. You wondered if he was just trying to put on a front for you, but it was Jaemin. Why would he care how he came off in front of you? You were already too close with him to judge him for whatever came out of his mouth.

“Bad news? Me?” He sat up this time, rubbing the back of his neck. “Just because I slept around? That’s harsh.”

“Well, it doesn’t exactly make you look like a saint,” you pointed out.

“But I’m a Twitch streamer,” Jaemin whined, reaching forward to grab your waist. You swallowed down your shriek as he pulled you onto his lap, holding you close. It was nice like this, you realized, and Jaemin was warm. He buried his face into the crook of your neck and continued, “Shouldn’t that cancel out all the fucking around I did?”

You laughed at his reasoning, swiveling a little in his lap to face him. “I’ll have to admit, gamers can be hot, though.”

“Oh? You think I’m hot?” Jaemin smirked a little, and you had to fight down the shyness creeping up your neck. For a second, he was just staring at you, taking in everything about you. “Y/N, it’s been really hard trying not to kiss you all night.”

Normally, this would be the part where you two kissed and spent a passionate night together after being cockblocked all evening. However, you felt a snarky comment coming to mind and replacing whatever sexual urge that was rising.

“Then maybe you shouldn’t have invited over every single mutual friend we have,” you countered bitterly. You bit your lip before you added, “I was ready to just spend the night with you.”

Jaemin sucked in a sharp breath, his hands dropping to squeeze your hips. “You’re a virgin, right?” His hands then moved onto your thighs, rubbing up and down. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier? I wouldn’t have finger-fucked you like that if it was your first time.” When you didn’t respond, a smile grew on Jaemin’s face. “No way. You liked it, didn’t you? You liked me touching you in front of our friends.”

Heat rose to your cheeks at his vulgar words. “Jaemin!” you exclaimed, looking back at him with wide eyes. “That’s so—”

“Okay, then tell me I’m wrong,” he cut in. “Tell me you didn’t like staying quiet while I fucked you under the blanket.”

Unfortunately, you knew that you were a terrible liar and there was no point in trying to defend yourself. You had to come clean to Na Jaemin.

“Fine,” you spat. “Maybe I did get turned on when you were fingering me in front of everyone, but it’s not like I wanted to be caught or anything.”

Jaemin wore an amused expression, and you had never felt so vulnerable in your life. You tried to avert your gaze, but he grabbed your chin and made you look him in the eye.

“And this is coming from the cherry girl who said I wouldn’t be able to please her earlier,” Jaemin mused, scoffing a little. “You’re so dirty for someone so innocent. I think it’s about time I show you how good I can make you feel.”

Maybe a couch wasn’t exactly the most romantic place in the world to have your first time, and Na Jaemin definitely wasn’t a romantic person (to you, at least), but you felt comfortable with him. After all, you hadn’t exactly heard of good first-time experiences from your friends. Donghyuck mentioned how his first time was in the blind spot of a parking lot, and the police ended up pulling over next to them.

With Jaemin’s lustful eyes gazing at you so tenderly, you wanted to give in. (Yes, even with that damn Twitch shirt he wore).

You hardly had time to process how his eyes dropped to your lips, butterflies flocking to your stomach in seconds before Jaemin was leaning in, pressing his soft lips to yours. You reciprocated almost immediately, wrapping your arms around his neck and adjusting your position so that you were straddling his lap. Jaemin leaned back on the couch, hands dropping to the back of your thighs as he lazily kissed you.

Strangely enough, it felt like the most normal thing in the world to kiss Na Jaemin. After a while, your mouth moved in perfect sync with his, and you wondered how the hell you never thought of doing this before. His tongue was making you feel dizzy, but before you knew it, your tongue was dancing with his so naturally.

Jaemin sat up straighter, hands traveling up your body once you two were chest-to-chest. He broke from your lips to press kisses from your jawline to your neck. You could only let out soft whimpers as he mapped his way down your body, eventually getting to the swell of your breasts.

You were supposed to feel exposed and vulnerable as Jaemin tugged your shirt and bra aside, but you felt safe. You felt safe even as he took your tit into his mouth, tongue tracing a pattern around your nipple. You felt safe even as he littered hickies over your chest.

A fire rekindled in Jaemin. He grew more passionate, more eager. You could feel the desperation dripping off of him as he pushed you down on the couch, switching positions so that he was over you, eyes racking your body with a newfound hunger.

For a second, you just got to admire his beauty and take a breather. Jaemin tugged off his shirt and tossed it aside. You turned your head to look at the discarded clothing. You quickly realized that you were supposed to do the same, so you peeled off your shirt as Jaemin was taking off his pants.

“Ah, the pretty little shorts you put on just for me,” he noted, holding eye contact with you as he helped you out of your shorts. You could hear the strangled growl in the back of his throat. “You look so fucking pretty.”

The effect his words had on you were insane, but you had to remind yourself that this was Jaemin. You two were good friends and regularly hung out; this wasn’t some guy you had been romantically involved with.

“You’re just saying that because we’re about to have sex,” you said with a light laugh, a touch nervous. Yeah, part of you didn’t want that to be true, but the other part of you had no idea how you would feel if it wasn’t true.

Jaemin’s eyes hardened. “Are you kidding? I’ve always thought you were gorgeous.”

You drew in a sharp intake of breath.

Not perfect. Gorgeous. No, you weren’t perfect. Not untouchable or unattainable for Jaemin. Not someone he could admire from afar and never bring himself to go after. You were gorgeous. You were someone he found captivating even without a rose-tinted lens. He saw every side of you, and he still thought you were gorgeous.

Jaemin pressed a slow kiss to your shoulder. “Are you sure about this?” he asked softly. “Let’s move to your room, then.”

You honestly didn’t expect much from Jaemin, but you underestimated just how built he was. He scooped you up like you were nothing, and you had to take a few seconds to process the fact that you were lifted off the couch so easily. His hands gripped your bottom firmly, but his fingers were brushing against your inner thighs and you found it difficult to keep your cool.

Jaemin kicked the door shut behind him and laid you down on the edge of your bed. You were confused why he left your legs dangling off the side (and it wasn’t very comfortable), but then it hit you when he situated himself between your legs.

He was about to eat you out.

“I’m gonna taste you here, pretty girl,” he hummed, fingers prodding against your clothed cunt. That strangely endearing shit-eating grin spread across his face. “I hope you return the favor one day.”

You grew shy at that. “I don’t really know how to do that…”

“I’ll teach you,” he insisted, “but right now, I want you to relax for me.” Jaemin made eye contact with you for a split second while he was tugging down your underwear. “Tell me when you want me to stop.”

“Noted.”

You swallowed thickly. This was your first time experiencing something like this, and you were more anxious about what Jaemin would think about seeing you in full glory. His incomprehensible groan when he saw you bare surely elevated your confidence, but you couldn’t stop thinking about how his mouth would be over your folds in seconds.

You could pinpoint the exact moment his tongue came into contact with your cunt because your senses heightened in seconds. You felt like you were falling into a haze with the way Jaemin’s tongue worked on your folds. He gripped your thighs with fervor as he pressed kisses up to your clit.

You shuddered when he started sucking on the little ball of nerves, but you yearned for more. Jaemin noticed how you fisted the sheets, smirking against your folds. Your hips lifted, getting as much more friction as possible, wordlessly begging for more.

The night was quiet apart from your blissful sighs and the sounds from Jaemin’s mouth making you fall apart at the seams. You became a squirming mess under him, and Jaemin forced your hips down as a warning. He was strong, you realized, and you were inching closer to your high at the thought of him using all that power to fuck you until you were spent.

“H-how are you so good at this?” you croaked out, slapping one hand over your mouth before a moan escaped.

Jaemin pulled away for a moment to look at you, and he grinned in that cocky, arrogant way that was so incredibly sexy. “What? I’m just spelling out your name with my tongue.”

You had no explanation for how hot that sounded.

“Well keep it going then,” you ordered, pushing at his head to get him back between your legs. “It feels different—good different.”

Truthfully, you couldn’t describe the feeling, but it was like a knot of pressure was daring to unleash. You wanted to just let it happen, but every time Jaemin slipped away, you felt a little more of it disappear. It was starting to frustrate you, so you whined and pressed your thighs together.

Jaemin spread your legs again. “Can’t make you feel good if you keep your legs closed,” he said. “I’m gonna show you how to get yourself off for real, Y/N. I want you to do it while I’m eating you out.”

“Huh?” you asked blankly as Jaemin took your hand and moved it to your cunt. He placed your fingertips over your clit and made you rub in tight circles. In a breath, you whispered, “Oh my god.”

“Keep doing that for me, princess.”

You could only respond with a broken whimper. Compared to Jaemin’s expert fingering earlier, you felt more amateur, more sloppy. It seemed to be getting the job done, though, because you could feel an undercurrent of pleasure rippling under your flushed skin.

Jaemin’s tongue snaked inside you, and you had to blink several times to keep your sanity at bay. Your head was clouding at the way he was making you feel good in places you never expected to reach. With a few more strokes of his tongue, your orgasm came crashing over you before you could even think about warning Jaemin.

He groaned against your cunt as it pulsated from the overwhelming pleasure you were experiencing. You always thought orgasms were specific to the one area, but you could feel this sensation all over. It was the pinpricks of heat prickling your skin, the euphoric wash making your brain foggy, and the trembling limbs that tied it all together. You were a whimpering, shaky mess as you rode out the waves of pleasure that Jaemin worked out of you.

When your walls nearly stopped pulsating (save for the occasional twitching), Jaemin took that as his cue to stop abusing your cunt. You let out a light huff when he stood up again, looking down at you with that cocky smirk on his lips.

“Sounds like you enjoyed that,” he commented. You could tell his ego was through the roof, and it pissed you off a little. “Didn’t you say something to Jeno? Something about how I wouldn’t even be able to make you whimper?”

Ah, yes. The very reason why you were trying to keep your moans in (to no avail). You knew Jaemin wouldn’t let you hear the end of it, and this was a problem in and of itself considering he was downright insufferable both in and out of the sheets.

“Fine,” you gave in after putting aside your stubbornness. “I take it back. Plus, I was drunk, so you can’t really hold it against me.”

“They say drunk words are sober thoughts.”

“Well, I also said I’d fuck Jeno when I was drunk,” you fired back.

Jaemin pushed back his hair as he got over you, pushing you back as he did so that your full body was on the bed. He eyed you carefully, and for a moment, you were holding your breath out of pure anticipation. The dark look clouding his eyes was enough to keep your mouth shut. Jaemin placed his hands on either side of your head.

“Oh? You’d fuck Jeno?” he asked, eyes narrowed at you. “I don’t think so.”

Strangely enough, you felt offended. “What? Why not?”

“You and Jeno aren’t compatible,” he replied, positioning himself in seconds just to roll his hips against yours. This incited a sharp exhale from you, causing Jaemin to simper at how submissive you became. “You wouldn’t go for him. Not when you have me.”

“W-what makes you think that?” you asked, choking up at the end when Jaemin started a steady pace of rocking his hips against yours, and you could feel his longing by the way he was humping you.

This time, however, Jaemin didn’t respond to your question. Instead, he asked, “Ready to be fucked, Cherry Girl?”

You scoffed a little at the nickname but drew him closer to your body. You weren’t sure why you felt so intimate in the moment, but you just wanted Jaemin to make you feel good already. There was one part of you, though, that wanted to make love, and you tried to push it down as far as you could, but it kept creeping up on you.

You could tell Jaemin was hesitant himself. He seemed to be fighting some war of morals in his head, as if he was just realizing that the entire dynamic of your friendship would change forever at this very moment. You figured it was actually a lot for Na Jaemin to use his brain at a time like this. He was the kind of guy to think with his dick, and then be met with rationality hours later when the deed had already been done.

“You know,” he started, “we should really come up with a safe word.”

“A safe word?” you asked. You had heard of safe words being used, but you thought they were for people with kinks that were out of your comfort zone; if Jaemin came back with a knife, you were walking out of your own apartment.

“Yeah, like ‘peaches’ or something,” he suggested. “Or ‘Perry the Platypus.’ I think that one would kill the mood fast.”

You were in dismay. There was no way you would have the mind to call out a cartoon character’s name in the middle of sex.

“Or,” you offered, “one of us says ‘stop,’ and the other person stops.”

“Yeah—yeah, good plan.” Jaemin ran a hand through his hair. “Tell me to stop at any time.”

Oddly enough, you felt like you two weren’t on the same page. While you thought you were ready for what was to come, you didn’t think Jaemin was prepared for this. He seemed to lose his confidence shortly after realizing you two were actually about to have sex, and you didn’t want to push him into something he wasn’t ready for.

In a sick way, it was rather funny to you that he ended up being the one who wasn’t quite ready yet.

“Jaemin,” you called sweetly. He looked down at you expectantly after a retired exhale. You didn’t want to seem like you were flat-out rejecting him, and you didn’t want to bring up how he faltered, so you suggested, “Maybe we continue another time, like… you know, when Renjun isn’t sleeping in the same apartment as us.”

Maybe Jaemin was disappointed. Maybe he was relieved. You didn’t have time to read the look in his eyes, but you felt better about not doing anything until you were 100% confident that he wouldn’t regret sleeping with you. Just because you were in some odd situationship with your best friend didn’t mean you didn’t care about him; you still wanted him to be as comfortable as you were.

“Yeah, sure,” he breathed out, practically collapsing onto you. You couldn’t exactly breathe in this position, so you tapped his shoulder. He asked, “Can we sleep together like this at least?”

You let out a muffled sound of confirmation. “Can you move, though, so I don’t die of suffocation in my sleep?”

Jaemin chuckled and wrapped his arms around your waist. He flipped you two over so that you were the one on top of him, head against his chest. Jaemin grabbed the blanket from the floor and put it over you both, and you didn’t realize how sleepy you were until he had wrapped his arms around you and started rubbing circles on your arm with his thumbs.

You had all the pieces put together, but you just couldn’t see the bigger picture. While it was true that Jaemin froze up and wasn’t ready, the full reason was because he realized he had never hooked up with a girl that he called gorgeous. He had never pleasured a girl without them returning the favor immediately after, and it freaked him out a little when he was satisfied with wanting to make you feel good all night.

Moreover, he was scared because he thought he had genuine feelings for you.

“G’night, Jaemin,” you murmured.

“Goodnight, Y/N,” he replied. “Try not to dream about me.”

You snorted. “You wish.”

“I’m serious. Once you fall for me, you won’t be able to stop thinking about me.”

“Shut up, loser. I’m not falling for you.”

“That’s what they all say.”

“Go to bed, Jaemin.”

Surprisingly, after countless nights of tossing and turning, you found that you slept much more peacefully when you were in Jaemin’s arms.

(Little did you know that Jaemin had also never slept so soundly before.)

“Oh shit.”

You didn’t think those were the words you would wake up to, but Jaemin was awfully loud in your ear so early in the morning. You blinked, trying to reorient yourself and recall the events from last night.

Seconds later, Jaemin’s shirt was thrown onto your bed, landing right next to you. Your eyes settled on the ugly Twitch shirt that you remembered was tossed onto the living room floor. While the shirt was abandoned, you woke up in Jaemin’s arms. You eyed the clothing triumphantly, as if the inanimate shirt could pick up on your mocking inflection.

“What the fuck are you two doing?” came your roommate’s voice.

Your eyes shot wide open. If you weren’t fully awake before, you definitely were now, but there was no way you could show your face to Huang Renjun when you were in this state.

God, the clothes.

You knew you had made a few mistakes in your life. (Okay, you made many mistakes, but really, who was counting?) Most of them were fairly inconsequential and amounted to nothing more than a bad grade on a few exams or falling into a bush while getting some fresh air at a party.

But this? There was a high chance that this could possibly be your worst fuck-up.

“Um…” Jaemin tried. “We’re hanging out.”

“Naked?” Renjun asked, horrified.

“We were warming up using our body heat,” Jaemin explained poorly, rousing an exasperated groan from Renjun. “Also, technically, we’re not naked; we still have our underwear on.” After a pause, Jaemin corrected, “I still have my underwear on.”

Renjun rubbed his face, irritated. “I told you to stay away from Y/N, and you didn’t waste a second trying to get into her pants, did you?”

“Relax.” Jaemin huffed. “Cherry Girl still has her cherry, so you don’t need to get all worked up. We were just sleeping in each other’s arms.”

You could already hear the scolding Jaemin was going to receive. Renjun was going to go off on his we’ve-been-friends-for-so-long rant, followed by his you’re-jeopardizing-our-friendship-you-horny-bitch tangent.

You wondered when would be a good time to reveal that you were actually awake, but you didn’t want to deal with Renjun’s wrath. You knew he had good intentions, and you were rather stupid for thinking it would be a good idea to leave your clothing on the couch, but you wondered if you could ever see Jaemin normally when your best friend slash roommate was so against it.

To your surprise, however, Renjun didn’t blow up.

He sighed. “Please tell me you’re not playing her.”

“I’m not!” Jaemin explained. He huffed a little, offended. “Who do you take me for? We’re, um… good friends just indulging ourselves—yeah, that sounds about right.”

Weird. His words stung, for whatever reason.

“You said you were just sleeping.”

“Oops.” Jaemin grumbled out some incomprehensible curse under his breath. “Okay, I’m not doing anything that Y/N doesn’t want, and I’m not forcing her to do anything, so I don’t see the problem here.”

“If you hurt her, I’ll make you wish your dick never saw the light of day, Na Jaemin,” Renjun warned. When Jaemin seemed to receive his message properly, he asked, “Since she’s still asleep, did you wanna go out and get pancakes with me?”

Renjun was getting pancakes without you? Moreover, he was getting them with Jaemin? You refused to let yourself be replaced so easily, especially when Jaemin’s only attire was his Twitch t-shirt. You couldn’t let Renjun be seen outdoors with someone who wore gamer boy merchandise.

“I could go for pancakes,” you said, shifting enough on Jaemin’s chest so that you could crane your neck and see your roommate. “What happened to knocking before entering?”

“I did,” Renjun said, “for two minutes. I walked in to make sure you weren’t dead.” He turned on his heel to close the door. “I’m leaving in ten, so please don’t start eating each other’s faces and get ready.”

(“I could eat something else.”

“Please shut up, Jaemin.”)

Going to iHop was a tradition between your friend group. It was usually something you guys would treat yourselves to after midterms or finals. That, or you would go for drunchies after a night of drinking.

This time, however, you and Jaemin were sitting across from Renjun in your usual booth in the far right corner. The first five minutes were spent in complete silence, with you looking between the two boys awkwardly as they sized each other up. The tension was getting suffocating, and you were praying the waiter would come over quickly to take your orders.

It probably didn’t help that you were wearing Jaemin’s sweater. It was far too big on you with the sleeves falling past your fingertips and the hem reaching your mid-thigh. You even tried to give it back to him, but Jaemin insisted you wear it. (You left out the part that you just wanted him to cover up his hideous shirt with the sweater.)

No matter how you looked at it, this felt like something a boyfriend would do.

Renjun gave you and Jaemin a once-over. “This is so weird.”

“Please don’t tell the others, Renjun,” you begged.

He frowned. “Why not?”

“Considering you look like you’re about to brand me with a scarlet letter and exile Jaemin from our friend group, I think it’s better we keep this between us,” you said, glancing at Jaemin when he let out a snicker. You continued, “Plus, Hyuck would never let me hear the end of it.”

Renjun snorted. “I don’t think you need to worry about Hyuck,” he said. Your roommate leaned back in his seat before explaining, “Choi Yeonjun’s been telling Jeno he’s interested in you.”

“Yeonjun? From Sig Kap?” you asked.

Frat boys were a pain in the ass, but a select few from Sigma Kappa Nu were semi-redeemable. It probably had to do with the fact that their president was Vernon Chwe, and he was the most chill frat boy you had ever met. You recalled Yeonjun as the one you spilled your drink on, and then you proceeded to spend the rest of the night laying on his shoulder on the couch because you couldn’t even walk straight.

“Yeah, he asked for your number.”

You and Renjun looked equally shocked when Jaemin cut in with a scoff, “Choi Yeonjun? Interesting. I’d ghost him if I were you.”

“Why?” you asked. You couldn’t think of anything particularly bad about Yeonjun, so you were surprised at how bitter Jaemin sounded about him. “Did he do something?”

There was a pause. “Nah, nothing.”

“Jaemin,” you pressed. “You wouldn’t bring it up if it was nothing. Just tell me what it is before I end up going out with someone who turns out to be a dick.”

Jaemin’s hand flew to the back of his neck. “I mean, just because we did stuff once doesn’t mean you have to start sleeping around with other guys.”

Your booth grew painfully silent.

“I worded that very wrong,” Jaemin realized.

“Yeah, you did,” Renjun chimed in unhelpfully.

While the three of you sat in uncomfortable silence, the waitress finally came by. “Are you guys ready to order?” she asked in a friendly tone.

No one spoke for a few seconds, so you raised your hand awkwardly. “The Winter Wonderland short stack, please.”

The waitress turned to Jaemin. “And what would you like, Sir?”

Mortified, Jaemin spoke in a strangled voice, “Same thing as her.”

“You’ve been quiet the entire ride home,” Renjun observed in that soft, comforting voice he used when you were sad. It was his surefire way of getting you to stop bottling your feelings up. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

After eating your pancakes in complete silence, you three only exchanged a few words to figure out how to pay the bill. The car ride home was even more painful, and Jaemin received no response when he mumbled a “see you” to the both of you. Renjun gave him a tight-lipped smile, but you kept your head down and fiddled with the sleeves of Jaemin’s sweater that you were still wearing.

Now, you were sort of confused and a little sad. You had no idea Jaemin thought so lowly of you.

You shrugged. “I’m just thinking.”

“About?” your roommate prompted.

“I wasn’t really interested in Yeonjun,” you admitted, “but now I’m tempted to go out with him just to prove Jaemin wrong. I was never even planning on sleeping with Yeonjun if he ever asked me out.” Before Renjun could reprimand you for such malicious thoughts, you added, “I wouldn’t ever actually do that, though. I’m not that shitty of a person.”

“I know you wouldn’t,” Renjun said, “and I know it probably took a lot of courage for you to hook up with Jaemin, so it’s fucked that he thinks you’d sleep around with anyone.”

Your mood dampened again. Renjun had put your exact thoughts into words. A trembling, tender laugh escaped your lips for a moment, but you held together the pieces of you that threatened to shatter.

You liked Jaemin.

Even before the events of last night, you never would have done something like that with someone if you didn’t like them.

You were so stupid. So painfully stupid. You knew every single trick up Na Jaemin’s sleeve—every rule in his book—and you had still fallen for his empty words like a fool. There had to be some world record for stupidity because you were sure you could challenge whoever was vying for first place.

“Y/N?” Renjun asked, concerned.

“I like him,” you said, more to yourself than to him, “I like Jaemin.”

“Damn. Even after all that?”

“No.” You shook your head quickly. More than a friend, your brain was practically screaming. He’s more than a friend to you.

You tried so hard to keep it together. Tried to keep yourself from spiraling. This sudden realization was crushing you from the inside out. You supposed the first choked sob could be passed off as a bluff, but Renjun noticed the second time, and that made you want to cry even more.

Because if you didn’t care about Jaemin in this way, you could’ve talked this out with him. You could’ve told him off for his comment and properly been angry with him. You could’ve made amends and fixed your friendship.

But since you cared too deeply, you felt so pathetic. You wanted him to notice. You wanted him to apologize. You wanted him to realize that you didn’t want Choi Yeonjun; you wanted your best friend, Na Jaemin.

You barely noticed Renjun pulling you into a warm embrace, and it was when he rubbed your back soothingly that you realized you were crying. Silent tears made their way down your cheeks and you could taste the saltiness on your tongue.

“Look, it’s Jaemin,” Renjun started. “Yeah, he’s a fuck-up sometimes and can be a dick, but he cares deeply too. If you talk to him, I’m sure things will work…” He trailed off when he saw the agonized look on your face. Concern tugged at his brows. “Y/N, what’s wrong?”

“You don’t get it,” you cried. “I’ve liked him as more than a friend—for a while now, I think. That’s why this hurts so bad.”

Renjun’s lips parted in surprise. “You like—oh… oh.” He froze up for a moment, as if his own thought process was buffering. “You like Jaemin? Why? He’s terrible.”

You couldn’t argue with that. Jaemin had a notorious streak for being half-human, half-douchebag. They were separate identities at this point.

You remembered freshman year when you met him. Freshly cut loose from his family and living on his own, Na Jaemin was going to parties at least three days a week. Jeno claimed he had met a new girl nearly every month just because they always ended up sleeping over at their dorm room. Just as fast as he’d hook up with a girl, Jaemin would ghost them without warning right after. Once, he even made Jeno break the news to one of them on his behalf.

“You’re right, he sucks.” You wiped at your damp cheeks. “He’s literally a walking red flag. Why do I like him so much?”

Part of you expected Renjun to scold you for being stupid, but he just patted your head with a small sigh. “It’s okay, Y/N. You can take your time. No one’s expecting you to figure everything out right now.”

It was weak, but you managed a smile. Renjun was right; you needed time for yourself.

It had been two weeks since you had seen or spoken to Jaemin.

It was strange, for sure. You hadn’t ever gone this long without at least texting him. Sure, there was that one time two years ago where Jaemin went off-the-radar for an entire month, but you later learned that he was burnt-out from university and had to recharge. That meant not speaking to anyone other than his family (and occasionally Jeno after his unabating nagging), but you respected that.

This time, however, was different. The unresolved issue was eating at you, little by little, chipping away at your resolve to stay away from him. You wanted to talk to him—or yell at him—but you had nothing to say if he was just going to break your heart.

You just wanted to get it all out. You wanted to yell at him about how much of a dick he was being. Although, you were certain that Jaemin was very self-aware of his own flaws; your friend group never missed a chance to point them out. You wanted to scream at him about how wrong he was for thinking you wanted Choi Yeonjun.  

Jaemin was right about one thing, at least. Since you had fallen for him, you really couldn’t stop thinking about him.

Most of all, though, you just wanted your best friend back.

When a candle burned and its wax melted, it caused a chemical change in matter due to the hydrogen and carbon from the wax combining with the oxygen in the air to create carbon dioxide and water vapor. Although the candle burned down and lost its size and shape, the matter cannot truly be destroyed. Remnants of that candle still live on in another form.

That was how you felt right now.

Despite your energy depleting because of Jaemin, despite how exhausted you were from being angry, and despite how hard you tried to forget about how much you liked him, he still crept back into your heart each time. Your feelings couldn’t be destroyed no matter how hard you tried. No matter how much you tried to minimize them or lock them away, they still took up space in your heart.

Jeno asked if something happened between you two, so he either must have picked up some tension or Jaemin must have let him know that things were awkward between you two. You weren’t surprised; those two told each other everything. You even heard them comparing dick sizes once, much to your horror.

“I haven’t spoken to Jaemin in, like, two weeks,” you told Jeno over a coffee you asked (or gently coerced) him to buy you with his campus dining plan. “I don’t see why you have to convince me to see him if he won’t make the effort to see me.”

“Y/N, you know how Jaemin always bottles up how he truly feels,” Jeno said. “If you guys fought, I’m sure he’s feeling really bad about it right now. Just… in that self-deprecating way where he talks to no one about his feelings.”

“He needs to talk to me, Jeno,” you replied with a sigh.

“By the way, did you know Choi Yeonjun’s interested in you?”

Of course. The very man who was unintentionally the cause of this rift between you and Jaemin. You hoped he was having the time of his life.

“Yeah, I heard from Renjun.”

“Don’t worry,” Jeno assured after taking notice of your disinterest. “He still has Tinder on his phone, so I think he’s keeping his options open.”

You tried Tinder once. Eric Sohn. Business major with a concentration in finance. He asked you what show you liked, and you replied with “I don’t know” followed up by the actual show, You. Eric assumed you meant you liked him, not the psychological horror series, so he asked you to meet up.

(You did not meet up.)

Just then, your phone ringer went off. You checked it without thinking, but your heart seized up when you saw the texts from your friend.

jaemin: if you have time later can we meet up? jaemin: i wanna apologize

The shock must have been clear on your face because Jeno caught on quickly. Jaemin wasn’t one to apologize, and you couldn’t recall ever hearing a genuine apology from his lips, so this was all a surprise to you.

“He texted you, didn’t he?” Jeno asked. He looked down at his phone and frowned. “What the—why’s he streaming right now?”

His reaction piqued your curiosity, so you leaned over to see why Jeno cut himself off. In return, he moved his phone so that you could see the screen as well. After the advertisement on the Twitch app, Jaemin showed in the bottom left corner of the screen while a screen of him playing Genshin Impact was on the top right. To your amusement, he was holding a little therapy session for himself over his Twitch stream.

“See, I just really like her, guys—oh, fuck, hilichurl—but I don’t know why I keep acting stupid around her—die, die, die, die, die! Usually, girls like me more than I like them, so I freaked out when I got the feeling that I liked her more than she liked me—man, will you die already?—but I think I really fucked things up this time,” Jaemin said to his viewers, eyes locked on his computer screen. “I just texted her and asked if she was free later so that I could apologize. Thing is, I didn’t even mean what I said, but it just came out because I was so stupid and jealous, and…”

Jaemin trailed off for a moment as he finished clearing out a camp in the game. He sat back and looked off in the distance for a while as his comments flooded with either really good or really bad advice. Most of it was leaning toward terrible suggestions such as “have you tried essential oils?” and “have you tried turning your feelings off and then on again?”

“Oh.” Jaemin’s expression was somewhere between stunned and in disbelief. “I’m in love with her.”

He said it so casually, like he was stating the number of inches in a foot or the color of the grass. It almost slipped past you, but then it rang in your head again and you felt dizzy. Maybe it shocked you that Na Jaemin was even capable of using the word love, but remembering that it was for you was throwing you in for a loop.

Even Jeno was perplexed. He looked between you and the screen several times, mouth opening and closing as if he had something to say, but the words always died on his tongue.

“Guys, I’m in love with my best friend,” Jaemin echoed, and his face washed over with horror, “and I play Genshin Impact—god, she’s never gonna like me back.” He clicked his tongue, disappointed. “Maybe I should do a run-through of Spiral Abyss until the depression goes away.”

Jeno looked dumbfounded. “Did he just… did Jaemin just use the L-word?”

“I didn’t even know his vocabulary was that extensive,” you replied, dazed. “I didn’t know he was capable of actual feelings.” You stood up, disoriented. “I need to go see him—talk to him. I gotta tell him how I feel.”

Ever the gentleman, Jeno offered, “Need a ride?”

“It’s close,” you said, starting to walk backward. “Wish me luck.”

Jeno chuckled, giving you one of those cute eye-smiles of his. “Good luck, Y/N.”

You grinned and turned on your heel, breaking into a full sprint to get to Jaemin’s apartment. It wasn’t very far, but your legs still got tired halfway to the complex. However, you were pumped up with so much adrenaline that you could hardly feel the soreness in your calves.

Na Jaemin was stupid. He was the absolute worst when it came to facing his feelings. Before, you could look into the past and count every red flag that gave you a reason to not run back to him.

Now, though, when you heard how much he liked you, it made you want to give him a chance.

You found yourself knocking on the door of Jaemin’s apartment, hands moving too fast to do your signature knock. When you heard his footsteps near the door, you spoke up before he could ask who it was.

“You idiot! Why would you tell your Twitch audience how you feel but not me!”

Jaemin opened the door, astonishment drawn all over his face. “Wait, you watch my streams?”

“Jaemin, that’s not the point!” you whined. You walked into his apartment and turned to face your best friend after he closed the door. “If you just told me how you felt, then I wouldn’t have had to suppress my feelings and try to forget that I ever felt this way about you.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Jaemin breathed out like he was winded from the conversation. “You have feelings for me? Why? I’m terrible.”

“I know!” you cried. “I know you’re hopelessly pathetic and you don’t communicate your feelings. You say stupid shit to push me away instead of just accepting that you have emotions like every other human being. You mess with my feelings and say stuff that makes me misunderstand—”

“Okay, I think we’ve gathered that I’m an asshole, yes,” Jaemin cut in.

“But I’m in love with you.”

There. You said it. Blurted out the words that had been burning in your chest for weeks.

Jaemin faltered. “Why?”

You couldn’t pinpoint what emotion was swimming in his eyes, but your heart ached when you saw the flicker of pain behind them. You had never seen Jaemin look so uncertain about having his feelings reciprocated. Hell, you had never even seen him so vulnerable in your life.

You gave him a withering look. “What do you mean why, you insufferable prick, I love you.” You felt agonized at this point, so you elaborated, “Jaemin, I wouldn’t let you take my firsts if I didn’t have feelings for you.”

“I love you too,” he finally responded, that wonderstruck look clear on his face, “so much that it drives me crazy.”

The warmth that exploded in your chest was almost embarrassing. “You do?”

“Oh, this is terrible,” Jaemin muttered, looking distracted.

“Terrible? How is this terrible? We both like each other.”

“No, I forgot to end my stream,” he explained, “so they all just heard our confession.” There was a pause. You glanced at his screen to see comments piling in. “This is very awkward.”

“What? Turn it off!” you exclaimed.

“Anyway, thanks for tuning in this week!” Jaemin started in that customer satisfaction voice of his, walking toward his monitor while forcing a smile on his face. “As you can see, I’m busy, so see you guys next week. Bye.”

As soon as Jaemin stopped his live, he turned off his monitor and swiveled in his chair to face you. He stood up and made his way over to you, adoring the way your eyes gleamed. Jaemin wanted to tell you that you were the prettiest girl he had ever seen. He wanted to tell you that he had never felt so strongly connected to someone. He wanted to tell you how he had been yearning for you for weeks.

Then, you started complaining.

“How could you tell your huge audience about us before you even told me about us? I had no idea how you felt this entire time!” you argued. Jaemin groaned but you went on, “You need to learn a thing or two about communication, Na Jaemin, because this—”

“Oh my god, shut up already,” Jaemin growled, grabbing your face and kissing you with such heated intent that you were breathless in seconds.

Your heart fluttered tenfold at the feeling of his lips moving against yours so naturally. Jaemin had always been a skillful kisser, but this time, his passion was overwhelming you. His tongue slid across your bottom lip, and you let him slip it into your mouth as you were left in an aroused daze. For a moment, you thought things would progress further, but then Jaemin pulled away and held you by the waist.

“I’m sorry,” he blurted out. “The words that came out of my mouth back at iHop were empty. I was just stupid and jealous because of Choi Yeonjun.”

Even though he stated that he wanted to apologize to you earlier, it was still difficult to wrap your head around the fact that Na Jaemin was throwing his pride to the wind and letting his guard down in front of you. It was a rather good apology for him, and while his words did sting back then, you were willing to give him another chance.

Jaemin continued, “I just couldn’t bear to think about seeing you with him. My mouth just started running to get you to do anything but give that guy a chance.” He huffed, frustrated. “You know, I think I saw him littering near the business building before. He was right next to a trash can too! I don’t understand why he couldn’t just throw—”

He stopped himself when he heard you laughing, and Jaemin broke from his tangent on Choi Yeonjun, the Enemy of Environmental Conservation. You reached your hand up to brush your fingers against his cheekbone, admiring how pretty his lashes cast shadows on his face and how cute he was with that puzzled look on his face.

“I never considered Yeonjun even once,” you assured him, smiling tenderly. “It’s always been you.”

You had never seen Na Jaemin blush, you realized, but now you were seeing him turn red right in front of you. He was always the time to fluster others, so you never expected him to be so affected by sincere words that he flushed red. The sight was rather cute, and you enjoyed watching him stammer and fumble on his words. This fondness was uncharacteristic for him, but you were amused at the sight.

Then, he steeled his nerves and looked into your eyes. “Can I kiss you again, Cherry Girl?”

You nodded almost immediately. This time, when Jaemin cupped your face with his hands and came close, you responded in tune with his lips meeting yours. He kissed you gentler than the times before, like you two had all the time in the world. Somehow, it was as if you could feel his underlying feelings behind the kiss.

Jaemin grew more needy, more eager, and you could feel it in the way you kept having to step back so that you wouldn’t end up falling over. His gentle kisses morphed into something more sensual and feverish. Once he had you up against the wall, he started kissing along your jaw and down to your neck. It was as if he had charted his course in advance with how confident he was in his motions.

“Jaemin,” you whimpered out when his hand slipped under your skirt to rub you through the thin fabric of your underwear.

You rolled your hips against his hand, wanting more friction and contact. You were embarrassed by how you were already wet for him, and Jaemin was soon aware of this fact when you saw him smirk at how damp your underwear was.

“Jaemin.” Your hand traveled from his hair to his cheek, making him look you in the eye. “I wanna make you feel good first.”

Jaemin let out a shaky sigh, holding your gaze for a split second before his hands flew to unbutton his pants. You both switched positions so that he was against the wall, and you lowered to your knees, looking up at him as you helped him tug his pants and boxers down.

You froze up a little when his hard cock slapped up against his abdomen. One thing you failed to prepare yourself for was how big Jaemin was. His pupils contracted and dilated at the way you stared at his throbbing cock.

“It’s simple, princess,” he instructed, fingers cradling your jaw. With his free hand, he pumped his cock a few times and ran the head across your lips. “Open up for me.” You parted your lips a little and Jaemin chuckled, amused. “Wider.”

You opened your mouth a little more so that you could take the head of his cock into your mouth, sucking on the sensitive area and letting your tongue run along the underside of the head. Jaemin’s hips jerked a little at the feeling, forcing you to take more in as he groaned lowly.

You decided to play into what he wanted and sucked off more of him, letting your tongue swirl around the head whenever you got a chance to. Jaemin held the back of your head, hands curling into your hair as he attempted to guide your movements. Once you picked up a rhythm, Jaemin started to rock his hips forward, thrusting shallowly into your mouth.

“Fuck, that’s it,” he breathed out, groaning quietly. “That’s a good girl.”

You could taste the salty precum beading from Jaemin’s slit, signaling that he was close. With your free hand, you pumped the length of his cock that you couldn’t fit fully in your mouth, but that didn’t seem to be enough for him.

“Breathe,” he instructed as he pushed your head down on his cock.

You gagged on his length, tears springing to your eyes when his cock was hitting the back of your throat. When Jaemin asked if you were okay, you nodded weakly and kept going, trying to suppress your unflattering gagging sounds so that you could deepthroat him.

“You’re doing so good,” he praised, wiping your tears away with his thumb. “Keep—fuck—keep moving like that, princess. What a pretty sight.”

You looked up at him through your lashes, head bobbing slowly on his length while you took him down your throat. Jaemin hissed at the sight, cursing under his breath when he felt like he was coming close. You could sense it as well with the taste of his cum leaking from his cock.

Soon, he was cumming down your throat, groaning loudly at the sensation. There was no way for you to explain how turned on you were by how hot his moans were. You pulled off of him and looked up at Jaemin, cheeks tear-stained and warm from his lingering touch.

“Swallow it all for me,” he cooed, fingers brushing over your lips. His eyes lit up when you did as he ordered. “I think it’s about time I reward you.”

“Please,” you rasped out, letting him help you up. “I want you to fuck me, Jaemin.”

His eyes darkened ever-so-slightly. “You sure?”

You nodded eagerly. You had been waiting for him to take your virginity for too long, and you finally had him with no interruptions.

“If you’re ready, of course,” you answered.

“I’ve been ready,” he mumbled, scooping you up like it was nothing and carrying you to his bedroom. You giggled a little and wrapped your arms around his neck as Jaemin peppered kisses wherever he could find bare skin. “You’re so beautiful.”

He left you on his bed to repeat his words in your head like a mantra. Na Jaemin thought you were beautiful; you felt like you were glowing. You looked back to see what he was doing, catching him slipping a condom over his cock. When he caught you staring, he returned a cocky smirk, and you were afraid you had overinflated his already-inflated ego. The sight made you grow shy, and you were hyperaware of the fact that you were about to lose your virginity soon.

This was it. This was the line you were going to cross yet again with your best friend.

Jaemin stood in front of you and helped tug your skirt off. You let him slide it down to your ankles before he moved on to your shirt. You kicked off your skirt and socks in the meanwhile, raising your arms so that he could slide your shirt off.

A blissful sigh fell from his lips at the sight of your body. You weren’t even wearing proper lingerie, but Jaemin gazed at you like you were the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. Over your baby blue bralette, his thumb circled around your clothed nipple, and you let out a whine.

“Don’t tease me,” you complained.

He grinned mischievously. “Sorry about that. Your reactions are just too cute.”

After grabbing his shirt by the nape and tugging it off, Jaemin went to remove your bralette and underwear. Just like before, you felt strangely comfortable even when you were in full glory in front of him. You were positive that no one else would be able to make you feel this way.

Now that you were both nude in front of each other, Jaemin got over you, pressing his body flush against yours and kissing you like there was no tomorrow. He moved his hand down your body, indulging in your breathless moans before he started fingering your clit.

“Ah,” he observed smugly, “you’re already soaked.” He continued his motions for a few moments before pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. “Ready to lose your cherry, Cherry Girl?”

You were a little sad that the nickname would die in Jaemin’s bed. You grew rather attached to it, so it was strange that you wouldn’t be called a cherry girl again (although you were sure there was no intended positive connotation with it). Nevertheless, you nodded and wrapped your arms around Jaemin’s neck.

“Please fuck me, Jaemin,” you begged. “I’ve been aching for you.”

The look in Jaemin’s eyes was insatiable. He closed his eyes for a second, sucking in a sharp breath, as if he was trying to keep himself from losing control and burying his entire cock inside you in seconds. Part of him just wanted to dive all in, but the more rational side wanted to take his time with you.

You were far too horny for a complete virgin and just wanted to be fucked already.

“Tell me if it hurts, princess,” he told you, lining up his cock at your folds. “We can stop whenever you’d like.”

With a strangled groan, Jaemin slid into you, halting whenever you winced. You nodded for him to keep going, pushing down the discomfort you were feeling. He tried to go slow for you, and soon, most of his cock fit snug in your tight cunt. Your walls were spasming around him, trying to adjust to how big he was.

“God,” he gritted out, “you feel so fucking good.”

The uncomfortable feeling started to slip away, dissipating when Jaemin’s cock was hitting those perfect spots inside of you. Slowly, pain morphed to pleasure, and you needed more.

“J-Jaemin, go,” you begged.

He nodded and started a motion of shallow thrusts, trying to get you used to his rhythm. His patience was thinning, though, and as much as he tried to keep himself grounded by kissing your neck, you knew Jaemin was going to snap soon.

And he did.

On the bright side, you were quickly adjusting to the sensation, letting it wash over you and leave a buzzing warmth across your skin. Jaemin’s thrusts started to slow, but he compensated with deeper, rougher thrusts. Your hands found purchase on his biceps, holding onto them weakly as he pounded into you. You were sure his tight grip on your hips would leave bruises in their wake, but you couldn’t find it in you to care when he was making you feel this good.

Your entire world had become the feeling of him thrusting into you and whispering filthy praise in your ear. It felt like he was the only one keeping you connected to this reality as you held onto him like a tether.

He fucked you so precise, so meticulously. You turned into a moaning, crying mess when he bottomed out inside of you, and Jaemin just wiped your tears and told you how good you were doing for him. He let go of one of your hips to hold your hand, gripping it tightly to assure you that he was going to take care of you.

“I think I’m close,” you got out between squirms and whimpers, feeling the shivers of an orgasm coming on.

“Cum for me.”

Jaemin quickened his pace and rubbed your clit again, his precise and tight motions sending you over the edge. You felt like you were drowning in a molten sea, fighting against the current as you were overcome with absolute bliss. All you could take notice of was the lovesick smile on Jaemin’s face when you stuttered out a broken confession. Your body was arching against his, and Jaemin helped you ride out the entirety of your orgasm, praising you and kissing you as a reward.

You felt as if your senses had sharpened post-orgasm, but you were completely fucked-out and spent. Jaemin came shortly after you, pulling out right before and letting out a husky groan. You turned your head to watch him toss his used condom into the trash before returning to collapse onto the bed.

You were both shoulder-to-shoulder, staring up at the wall as your chests rose and fell in synchronization.

“Wow,” you breathed out. “I’m not Cherry Girl anymore.”

“No, you still are,” Jaemin replied, raising a brow when you turned to glare at him. “What? It’s a cute nickname.”

You playfully punched his shoulder, scoffing a little. You weren’t sure if it was because you orgasmed together, but you felt impossibly close to Jaemin at that moment. You just wanted to spend the rest of the night in his arms. Even if you weren’t doing anything, you couldn’t bear to be apart for whatever reason.

Jaemin bit the bullet before you could. “How do you feel about dating me?”

“Huh?” you stammered for a moment before regaining your composure. He had brought up exactly the topic you wanted to mention, and part of you felt more confident knowing that he felt the same way. “Us? Dating? Like being a couple?”

“Well, two people dating usually entails that they’re a couple.”

“Shut up.” You punched his shoulder, amazement clear in your eyes. “Shut up.”

“Y/N—”

“Na Jaemin asking me out?” You fought back a smile. “I never thought I’d see the day.”

Jaemin whined and pulled you closer by the waist, hands finding their way to cup your face so that he could look at you properly and stifle laughter at the way your face was squished in his hands. You wrapped an arm around him and cozied up to his chest, attempting to smile through the way he was holding your cheeks.

“I want you to be my girlfriend, Y/N,” he said firmly. You could see the striking seriousness in his eyes, and you remembered how intimidating Jaemin’s gaze was. “I think I’d die if I had to see you with Choi Yeonjun or someone else.”

“You would die at the slightest inconvenience,” you teased, earning a sneaky grin from Jaemin, “but I put up with your dramatic self because I love you, so I’ll take care of you as your girlfriend from now on.”

“Aren’t I supposed to be the one to take care of you?”

“You have the worst luck I’ve ever seen, so I have to look out for you,” you insisted, and Jaemin just laughed at your words.

“I can’t be all that unlucky,” he started shyly. “I mean, you ended up feeling the same way about me.”

As you and Jaemin held each other, laughing and talking about everything you possibly could, you realized that this was contentment.

You prayed that you wouldn’t screw up tonight.

You had a habit of blurting out things when you were drunk. It was such a problem that Jaemin had to drag you away before you tried to call Mark Lee’s mom last weekend and tell her that her son’s “study group” was just an excuse for him to get drunk without having to worry about his parents calling.

Only Jeno knew that you and Jaemin were officially dating (and this was unfortunately because he walked in after you two had sex for the first time). You both had no idea how to break the news to the rest of your friends. You had a feeling they were catching on, though, because Na Jaemin didn’t take care of people when they were drunk. He didn’t sit on the couch with them, bring them water, and then drive them home after. He was the one who got wasted and waited for someone to pick his sorry ass off the ground.

So, you were terrified you were going to blurt out the news while you were drunk. It hadn’t happened last weekend or the weekend before, but you had a strange feeling that you two were going to be caught soon.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want your friends to know, even though you were a little scared of Renjun’s reaction. You just wanted to announce it formally and not when you were seeing double of everything.  

You were getting ready for the frat party Donghyuck convinced you guys to go to. He was rushing Yeonjun’s frat this semester and would spam invites to random parties almost every night in your group chat. While you were checking yourself out in the mirror, Jaemin snuck into your room.

“Hey,” he called softly. “Are you almost ready?”

“Does this look okay?” you asked, patting down the sides of your dress. You felt good when you looked in the mirror, but you wanted to see what your boyfriend thought. “It’s a little plain, but it’s the only party dress I have.”

All Jaemin did was stare at you, a little starstruck. You were completely taken aback by this reaction, especially when he didn’t even try struggling for words to say. He just stood impossibly still, lips parted and a faraway look in his eyes.

Raising a brow at him, you turned to grab a sweater hanging from the hook on your closet. Jaemin’s eyes darkened when you put it over your dress. The sleeves were a bit large and your dress was shorter, so you looked swamped by the garment.

“Is that mine?” Jaemin asked, narrowing his eyes at you.

“Yeah. I kept it—iHop trauma trophy.”

“Give it back.”

You froze. You actually expected Jaemin to be aroused at the sight of you wearing his clothing. Now, you were slightly embarrassed. Your attempt at being desirable was a complete fail. Mentally, you were digging a hole to crawl into and die in.

You huffed, a little angrily. “If you want it that bad, then come and get it.”

“Oh yeah?” Jaemin raised his brows at you as he walked toward you. You met his gaze and backed up until he had you cornered against the wall. “If you wanted to wear my clothes, Y/N, all you had to do was ask.”

When you didn’t respond, Jaemin shoved a knee between your legs and pushed your hips back against the wall. Your eyes widened a little, hands flying to his shoulders for leverage. He sealed his lips over yours smoothly, hands traveling up and down your sides.

You broke from the kiss for a second to breathe out, “J-Jaemin, we can’t do this now. The others are waiting for us.”

“They can wait a little longer,” Jaemin mumbled and swiftly kissed you again, sliding his tongue in to get a better taste of you.

You and Jaemin didn’t have enough time to pull away when Mark opened the door. “Y/N, have you seen Jaemin? Renjun sent me to find call y—whoa.” He looked frozen at the doorway. “You guys… dude.”

“H-have you ever heard of knocking?” you shrieked, stammering while you tried to cool down from the amount of embarrassment you felt.

“Mark, what happened?” Donghyuck called, walking over to the doorway to see what all the commotion was about. He looked at you and Jaemin and raised a brow. “Are you guys ready to go?”

You were completely lost. Donghyuck was always the one who had extreme reactions, but even with Jaemin’s hand still on your hip and your lips swollen, he didn’t bat an eye.

Jeno joined in, slinging an arm around Donghyuck’s shoulder. He took a look between you and Jaemin, eyeing the way he was holding you, and he turned around before he broke into a fit of laughter.

“What’s taking you guys so long?” Renjun asked, running a hand through his hair. “Our Uber’s gonna be here soon.” He shot you and Jaemin an exasperated look. “You two can make out when you get to the party, so can we get a move on?”

You opened your mouth to protest, but Donghyuck stopped you with an amused look on his face. “We know you and Jaemin are dating.”

You had no words to describe how stupid you felt. Weeks of keeping your relationship under the radar and they knew? You were holding back from acting like an actual girlfriend around them for no reason.

“Ah, I saw this coming,” Jaemin mused, leaning against the wall.

You whipped your head around to look at him. “You what?”

“Hold on,” Mark said. “How come I’m the only one who didn’t know they were a thing?”

“Donghyuck and I watched Jaemin’s Twitch stream a few weeks ago, that’s why,” Renjun explained. “We heard that whole confession. Cringiest thing I’ve ever had to witness.”

“Yeah, sorry,” Donghyuck apologized flatly, though he didn’t sound very sorry. “We forgot to tell you, Mark.”

“Guys, the Uber’s here!” Jeno called.

“Okay, let’s get moving,” Donghyuck said, pushing at Mark’s back to get him to start walking. “Mark, you can zone out of reality in the car.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Mark agreed.

Renjun stopped and looked at you and Jaemin before he started to leave. “I’m gonna trust you apologized for what happened at iHop,” he told Jaemin.

“I did!” Jaemin confirmed, using that whiny voice of his. “You’re so mean to me, Renjun.”

Renjun snickered. “I’m just making sure. You know, so that our next iHop run isn’t awkward.” He turned on his heel to catch up with the others. “You two better hurry!”

Jaemin turned to you, the corner of his lip hiking up. You could tell he just found this entire situation hilarious. Meanwhile, you felt like a complete fool.

“That was easy, wasn’t it?”

“That was humiliating,” you said, shuddering at the memory. “I can’t believe Mark walked in on us like that.”

“We could’ve been doing worse,” Jaemin tried.

“Please shut up.”

Jaemin laughed and slipped his hand into yours. “Personally, I’m glad they found out. Now we don’t have to sneak around them.”

He was right. Although it wasn’t the most natural way of telling your friends, you were relieved that they finally knew. It was like a load had been lifted off your shoulders now that you didn’t have to tread on eggshells around the people closest to you. You were just going to have to wait for Mark to forget that he ever walked in on you two.

You warmed up to Jaemin’s words with a soft exhale. “Yeah, I’m glad we can properly date now,” you said and tugged his hand. “Let’s go.”

“By the way,” Jaemin started shyly, “you look beautiful in that dress.”

You pinched his cheek lightly, pretending your heart wasn’t beating like crazy. “You look pretty good yourself, Jaemin.”

Yeah, you could get used to this.

“Jaemin,” you called. When you received no response, a scowl formed on your lips. Your boyfriend was too absorbed in whatever was playing on the TV. You called out to him again, a little more forcefully, “Jaemin!”

Three months into your relationship, and Jaemin was already acting like he had been married to you for ten years. You, however, knew that he was the biggest melt for you when he dropped the act.

He hardly spared you a glance. “What?”

You frowned. Not good enough; you required your boyfriend’s undivided attention, and you would pull all the stops to get it. So, you swiveled on the couch and hoisted yourself onto your boyfriend’s lap, straddling his thighs so that he had no choice but to pay attention to you.

Jaemin grabbed the remote and paused his anime before fixing you with a resentful look. “You’re such an attention whore, Y/N.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck. “I had a question.”

“Shoot.”

“Do you think I’m pretty?”

Your boyfriend looked absolutely exasperated, but you pushed at his shoulder, so he answered, “No, ugly. I’m only with you because I feel bad.”

“You’re lying.” You grinned, poking his shoulder once more. “You like me.” Jaemin tilted his head back and groaned, so you provoked him even further. “You think I’m pretty.”

He reached forward and cupped your cheeks, squishing your face so that your lips were smushed together. “You want the truth, Cherry Girl? Yes, I think you’re absolutely gorgeous, so shut up and let me watch my anime.”

“I’m not a virgin anymore,” you managed to say, voice muffled by his hold on you. “Thanks to you.”

Jaemin pressed a chaste kiss to your lips and let go of your face so that he could stroke your hair lovingly. “It’s cute, though, so you’re still my Cherry Girl.” You rolled your eyes at him, which caused him to hold onto you tighter, pulling you closer despite your struggle to get off. “That’s it. You’re watching Mob Psycho with me.”

“Only if we cuddle,” you bargained and relaxed in his hold.

“That’s actually a requirement.”

The thought of falling in love was probably the scariest conception you had, but with Jaemin, you had always felt safe, so actually falling wasn’t as terrifying as you thought it would be. Because, before he was your lover, he was your best friend, witnessing all the good and ugly that came with you.

You came to realize that love wasn’t something you had to think so deeply about. It wasn’t some formula that you had to mull over for ages. There was no clear definition for love, really. There was no way there could be one; it had to fluctuate.

For you, love was National Treasure on a Friday Night. It was that hideous shirt. It was the booth at the far right corner at iHop. It was a Twitch stream. It was an oversized sweater.

And, despite your incessant complaints, you could say that love meant Na Jaemin calling you cherry girl.

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ you made it ?? to the end ?? i’ll kiss you omg <3 but thank you so much for reading cherry girl! :’) writing fuckboy jaemin with a big soft side for mc is my absolute favorite and i’m so grateful for all the support i received while writing this. i was so overjoyed when i finished this and then i felt a little empty because wow. it’s over. but this just means i can indulge in more ideas for jaemin fics bc that man has such a strong hold over me. but i’m very content with this being my first fic of the new year and i hope you guys enjoyed it too ♡ sending much love, as always

TAG LIST ▸ @leeknowsredeyeliner @wownajaemin @geniejunn @huangberryyy @halbae @nctloml @n0hyuck @sehunniepot @cinamorolls @daintyj4em @ijustwanttoreadbold @ncttboo @byunfirstlady @spicyutas @decembermoonskz @jjaeyoonoh @moonjun96 @chenlewifey @fullsunluvr @baekhyuns-lipchain @dear-jaems @jenotation @curieouscapt @sunshinedhyuck @neptuniees @keemburley @bbnana @chichhihaa @ahgastayzen @yixing-jaehyun @yunodaze @felixgf @soobinsoobinyouknow @jccv @choppedupcactus @vantxx95 @xyukheix @wh0re4yangyang @ac-ewow @multislut @jaehy9ngs​ @cappujinho​ @wanlore @subhyuck @cacaubs @haechansgfreal @kyngaji @erikyoongs @flower-lise @idkwhattotypeinhere​ @justsayk​ @iwilleatyourgod​ @jejenono-ren​ @sweetjaemss​ @byunappetit​ @markleeschristianminecraftserver​ @if-i-like-i-reblog​ @baekhyunstruly​ @nominsgirl​ @ryu-naa​ @see3milyblog​ @luvenshiti​ @wonderlandless​ @90sgatsby-jjh​ @shmooooo​ @kyaavri​ @odaluvr​ @mariannaab​ @strawberry-nyu​ @najaeminism​ @jinnieyeolele​ @multistan30​ @peachydreamies​ @jaeymark​ @aliceinwhateverland​ @daegalfangirl​ @xxxx-23nct​ @hoonstrology​ @lyleo​ @emvrd​ @ukiyoneo​ @chitaphrrrr​ @enhacxre​ @rosyb7aby​ @bockhyun​ @junniest​ @itskkung​ @l3l3luvs​

Speaking of your boyfriend, your lovely boyfriend Jeno.

You turn to check on him, 

Met by his exquisite muscular back, exquisite indeed it still a disappointment since he seems to be in a mood today.. his moody days are increasing in frequency for an unknown reason.. but naming Na Jaemin as the culprit in dragging your lover’s mood won’t be a wild guess.

Na Jaemin.. that creep

Lately he’s been invading your thoughts. He’s like water sneaking through your hardest attempts to block him out.

His tall lanky body that seems to always slouch and hang off of surfaces, his shameless stare, he’s such a puzzle.. you cut thschainn of thoughts and reach to your phone to check the time.. it reads 10:11 

Damn it is still early.. 

Usually at the this hour you would be out somewhere enjoying the nightlife with jeno,

You sigh and toss around in the hot sheets, attempting to find a more comfortable spot.the room seems to be only getting warmer by the minute. all thanks to your boyfriend’s strong dislike for air conditioners 

You’er lucky I love you 

You huff and force your eyes to close in search for sleep.

A rude knock rips through the peaceful quietness, startling both you and jeno.

“I’m ordering pizza, do you guys want any?” 

Jaemin muffled voice comes from behind the door, his shadow can be seen fidgeting in nervousness through the door sill.

You look at your boyfriend who is displeased to be awakened.

“no!” He answers in clear annoyance 

“Ah okay” jaemin counters with a hint of disappointment in his voice.

His foot steps fade away as he walks way from your bedroom door..

You kind of forgot he had moved to live with you.

Jeno pulls the sheets and wraps himself in them and goes back to his slumber without a word..

You go back to your lousy attempts to sleep, 

It must have been a long 20 minutes of tossing and turning until another gentler knock announce itself making your already grumpy boyfriend more agitated   

Jeno huffs “what now?” 

“Pizza is here..and umm” jaemin answers

You’er kind of amused, this is way more entertaining than fighting to keep your eyes closed 

“And I thought we can watch a movie” ….”or something” 

The tension hangs in the air for a minute before jeno, finally, looks your way 

“You go!” he kind of orders you “he’s probably bored” he sighs and goes back top laying down 

You don’t mind, as you are bored too.. you jump out of bed and head to the door.

His eyes widens for a second when you opened your bedroom door, like he wasn’t expecting it. 

His dull face lights up as you drag your socks clad feet out and close the door behind you, leaving you grumpy boyfriend to soundly sleep.

The cool air feel refreshing one your skin..oh your skin

Suddenly your self conscious about your attire, or the lack of..

Your skimpy short shorts don’t cover much and the thin cotton t-shirt with no bra underneath it leave little to the imagination.

Although you’er very, very embarrassed.. it’s too late to turn back now.

But seein’ her smile can get you every time 

over the past year and a half jaemin had managed to hide his feelings for you 

sometimes he almost slips up though 

like when you are laying down somewhere star gazing together, because you’ve both had a stressful week and needed a break, and all he wants to do is roll over and kiss you as you tell him every story you can find in the stars

or when you get your heartbroken and he comes over to hold you tightly and he thinks how he’ll be the one that’s heartbroken when he has to let you go

or when you guys make eye contact across the room, and you make a silly face at him that makes his stomach do a flip and he’s sure his loving smile in return is going to give him away 

or when you watched a scary movie together and half way through, the two of you were tangled up in each other, holding each other tightly and he was certain you would realize when you rested your head on his shirt that his heart was beating quickly when things got scary, it started beating faster and faster every time you held on to him more tightly. 

even though he’d almost embarrassed himself a million times, and his cheeks burned when you kissed them before going to class, he never dared trying to put distance between the two of you 

Yeah every time, because you love her 

sometimes jaemin thought maybe he should confess to you

even though when you’d first met you’d been both happy having a friend outside your normal group, and you’d both decided you wouldn’t make a good couple anyways 

he’d hopes you changed your mind like he had 

you hadn’t 

one night, a night he’d invited you over to see if maybe there was any possibility to be more then just friends 

he’d left you in the kitchen so he could change his shirt (there MAY have been an accident with the sink in which it had mercilessly sprayed all over him) and when he came back he’d heard renjun and jeno questioning you 

‘so you really don't like jaemin?’ renjun had asked you, with jeno adding in a ‘because you sure act like it’ 

after a few seconds of silence that felt like hours, he’d gotten your response 

‘guys I've TOLD you, he’s my best friend. that’s how best friends act! it’s how you act with him isn’t it?’ 

jaemin quickly retreated to the bathroom, collapsing against the door after he’d closed it 

he should've known better then to think other wise, but he couldn’t help himself

no matter how hard he’d tried to change it since that night, he was still in love with you, and he was adamant on keeping that secret to himself from now on 

I put my selfish ways in boxes and shipped ‘em back to where they came 

you’d started dating your new boyfriend about six months ago

jaemin had thought his heart stopped when you’d first told him, but he still faked a smile and gave you an awkward high five out of lack of knowing what else he was supposed to do 

in the past six months, jaemin had watched you fall in love with this new guy, a guy who seemed perfectly nice to you and made you happy 

so, as much as it killed him to third wheel, in the end he was happy for you, too 

and maybe there was a small part of him that wanted you to break up with your boyfriend, but then he remembered you’re face when you’d tell him about your latest date, and he pushed his selfish thoughts away 

yes, jaemin was in love with you and while you loved him, you definitely weren’t in love with him 

and more often then not, jaemin found himself wishing he could be the one to kiss you good night instead

but he wasn’t going to ruin a friendship because of feelings neither of you had any sort of control of 

so instead jaemin was going to continue to pretend to be nothing more then a supportive best friend, and maybe one day it would be come a reality

and his heart would stop breaking every time your face lit up when you were with him, not because of something you’d said but because of a text you’d gotten from you friend