#mysymphony

My Symphony is silent I play for those who cry And through their tears so quiet They watch the world go by

My Symphony is soft now It plays for those who try Their efforts show just how They took comfort in the lie

My Symphony is growing It tells of those who’ve yearned But never tried for knowing The chances they’d be spurned

My Symphony is pounding Hear it clearly as the day Its faithfully resounding For those that ran away

My Symphony grows violent It reaches to the sky It’s for the small and giant And all of us who die

To my Mother who is fading

I watch as you destroy yourself bit by bit through calloused hands and silenced words I watch as you cry, tears falling from your face  You’d never know but I watch you  And it feels as if pieces of my heart are falling from those eyes As if I have left parts of myself behind, all within you.

Twenty-One years ago, I was a part of you We shared the same heart beat, the same oxygen, the same home. Now it seems we cannot even share the same room Somewhere along the way I forgot the sound of your heartbeat  Or how it feels to be yours. For Twenty-one years, You have watched me Outgrow your hands, your bones, your space. As though your voice has simply become the background music to my life Barely heard, mostly forgotten. 

This is my apology letter For watching you fade  For forgetting the roots you have planted within me For ever thinking that I could outgrow you

You are my home You are the words I speak You are my blood and bones You are not the faded music to my life You are the symphony that makes my life worth living

And without you I am lost, without a heart beat, living in silence, without a home.