#myperformances

a performance woven with themes of aging, the passing of time and the importance of ritual in female self care.

text written and performed by ruby:

Song of the Sybil I wrote prophecies on oak leaves One letter per leaf The wind came & blew them away I would not reassemble them You wanted me. I loved you.  You wanted me & I knew it would only be once. You offered me life in exchange for flesh You would breathe life into me for eternity  Now I live under a bell jar my human form is shrinking you said I asked for this I forgot to be specific You spat out your gum & it went right in my mouth You spat out your tobacco & it went right in my mouth You spat out tasting wine & it went right in my mouth Everything you spat out went right in my mouth I don’t know how to leave this place I can’t make myself beautiful anymore I’m too small to reach my hair I can’t make you smile any more Is death the only way out The years are stretching Time is fleeting When you don’t know when it will end There’s a reason they say warpaint there’s a reason I can’t see past these walls there’s a reason no one visits me I don’t visit anyone I don’t smile any more This glass is not reflective Except I’m looking inside  When I was young  My mother always used to say “Run a brush through your hair!” before I left the house you took my brush away you took my paints away you took my coal away you took away my desire to use them I thought this is what I wanted. I forgot to specify. I am a woman. Eternal youth is the expectation. I am a woman. Fear of aging is the expectation. Your last stroke of cruelty could be undone with one brush stroke Your last stroke of cruelty could be undone with one flick of paint. I denied you because I loved you I couldn’t bear to have you & have you blow away like my oak leaves I loved you more than I loved my brush I loved you more than I loved my paints I loved you more than I loved my coals I loved you more than I loved myself Now I pick up my brush I pick up my paints I pick up my coals I pick myself up

performance in collaboration with ruby brunton

film in collaboration with sarah sitzler

a winter night’s art party and benefit

curated by forward flux

theaterlab, garment district

video and image documentation in process—