#myonlyregret

#onlyregret #myonlyregret #sometimes #learning #peaceofmind https://www.instagram.com/p/BvwRE3mhqEq/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1ea5l2angx4em

This is my grandad. He looks like he could kill you with the spoon if you looked at him the wrong way. He had siberian cold eyes that he didn't need to say a thing for you to know you misbehaving. And yes, he also dressed like a mafia Don on vacations in Calabria. He lived 20 years in silence - mouth cancer - he had the beginning of parkinsons and he suffered sixth strokes in his lifetime. On the fifth, he was rushed into the hospital, doctor said it was a migrane, he came back home and did his normal routine like nothing had happenrd, next day, he had the sixth and instead of dying, he pretty much just said "fuck you, god" and hanged onto his life... 24 hours later, he was dead. I never said goodbye. He had a dark sense humor - how could he not after he endured so much - he would pick me up from school everyday, even if the cancer and the strokes and pretty much made him walk extremly slowly. He would refuse help, he had pretty much the dignity of a king. He would take me to the park, he would watch movies with me, he showed music that I still love - jazz. It was, for better or worse, the day my childhood died and I actually had to be my dad's support. It was the day the rebellion of my teenage years ended, I studied to get into uni, which I did. I never cried, not even on his memorial or funeral, where I made people laugh with dark and twisted jokes, just how he liked them. He was my hero and he still his. Sure, he might had the love for the bottle and the cigarettes, but he never missed a day at work - he worked at the airport, for some reason I don't like being in airports - and provided food to the table and money to household. He would abdicate things for him, so that his four kids could be someone. It's been ten years and I never got to say goodbye. #grandad #tenyears #themanofmylife #Istillmisshim #myonlyregret

#myonlyregret #🖕🏼

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