#myfourswords

01.10.2023

2022 Winter (Q2)

Week 7 Day 2

It's nice to be 'home'. It is. Throws me off my rhythm though. It would be nicer if I did not get so distracted by everyone in the house, my brother comes in and I get distracted, my mother stops to ask me a question and we keep talking for like 40 minutes. I'll go downstairs for a quick snack and won't end up back in my room until I've made a cup of tea and accidentally watched half an episode of whatever's on TV and also gotten into an argument with someone.

What's worse is that I feel terrible for keeping my visits home short and sweet. I planned out this trip perfectly to align with my brother's birthday, a high school friend's engagement lunch, and my 9 day cycle in the numerology app. If I'm almost a quarter of a century old, I should be able to make my plans and stick with them. Somehow, I've gotta release the hold other people's words have on me... or at least just my dad heehee.

All of this is just pulling my attention away from the theories and ethics discussion posts I have to write by tonight as I will be d r i v i n g thru K a n s a s tomorrow.

We're a bit down on strength today. I'm doing my absolute best to stay out of my comfy, cozy bed. I've sat up at this table, and I've gotten my notion updated for this week's assignments and tasks. I've gotten some journaling started (thank you, audience <3).

Today:

11.28.22

2022 Winter (Q2)

Wk 1 Day 1

As I deem today a syllabus week, I'm finding myself scattered. I've been looking forward to this quarter all fall and now that I'm here I see the fear coursing in my chest as I breathe. So instead of staying jumbled on the pages, I will unravel my thought knots and give my self an audience. #selftherapy?

Took a break earlier to treat myself to some taco bell and blackrock coffee, but now that I'm fed, I just want to curl up and just not. Not an optionnn 🌚🌝

Taking 3 classes this quarter, so for ten weeks, I want to buckle down and getter done. I also want to keep up with going to the gym that my boyfriend and I are planning to hit this week ~ weekly swims actually sounds like motivation for once. Last quarter was an initial adjustment to being back in school after a pandemic and online school in general. I appreciated that I had time to see friends and socialize for some time with that schedule and the class(es) were not as rigorous as I had anticipated off the bat.

Not so, no longer. My theories class seems pretty straightforward. Discussions each week and two open book exams. We got that, book has arrived, and I will actually do all my discussions for this class, I promise (me @ me)

The techniques class has gotten me a bit ope'd out. {overwhelmed processing externalizing} I'll have video assignments, lot more real-time synchronous interactions and zoom lectures, and now a healthy dose of Please Don't Disappoint This Lovely Professor. This may be the big Doozy for me this Q so stay tuned,

Ethics and Legal Issues is just gonna be dense. That textbook is looking mighty thic but I feel excited to dive into it. The assignments are varied and so I think it'll be a nice go-between class to keep me on my toes. The professor seems like they know what's up too, so I anticipate some interest tidbits.

Winter 2023 (Q2)

February 2, 2023 _ Groundhog's Day + VaxxedUpp

Week 10 Day 4

I finally submitted a discussion post for theories with which I am happy. What a concept, it was the personal integration for personal orientation week.

I commence my exams now. The past ten weeks have officially dwindled down to the final few tasks left to complete. No pomp, no circumstance. Just me alone in the house with Gordon Ramsay swearing in the background.

Winter 2022 (Q2)

01.24.23 | Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday mesh together

Week 9 Day 2 + 1 + 3 + 4

So I had a bit of an epiphany this morning. Just kidding, but was thinking; I am the fool on this journey, I accept this and I undertand that part of the learning curve is to lower my expectations to a novice level. H8 it but it is wot it is m8. I was reviewing the plan I have in place for my courses and practicums and there are exactly twenty-one 5-credit courses that I complete. The first one felt like the orientation of the fool, I learned to experience the wonder and envision what I wanted to down the line. This quarter, the Theories, Techniques, and Ethics feel like the first three figures of the Major Arcana. Theories is the study of how to embody the different aspects of the theoretical approach

Winter 2022 (Q2)

Jan 20, 2023 | Aquarius Season is upon us

Week 8 Day 5 (my 3rd)

"I flow easily with new experiences, new challenges, and new people who enter my life"

Lousie Hay affirmation of the day

Today, I started the day in bed. I may have been struggling this week with getting out of bed, but I have a friend asleep in the living room and I want to give him his space and rest. So, I climbed back into bed with my laptop and nothing else.

On one hand, I am really proud of myself for getting my discussion posts in -- if only a day late in the long run. We're getting there, slowly but surely, I am making progress.

On the other hand, hey google, find me the nearest void and allow me to throw myself inside. Kind of joking.

Today: Today is a techniques day because I have a mock counseling session at 4:00 pm ~~ and I am stuck in "I don't know what I'm doing mode" I really thought this class would be the easy-peasy I can show up and show out and just be myself -- how different from the Pathly training could this actually be??? Quite. I did not realize I ask so so so many questions in my daily conversations. Turns out therapists are supposed to talk less; smile more. Don't let them know what you're against or what you're for. Therapists who run their mouths off wind up *unemployed???*

So then, today's goal is to make a master notion page of the different tips and tricks and techniques we have covered thus far -- ideally based on the different parts of a counseling session and how to incorporate them together. The purpose of spending the day doing this is that somewhere along the way, the content will begin to click and I will actually understand the material.

Can't that just make it easier to execute and also acknowledge when I do it? The last video assignment ended up with a technical glitch so in re-doing the video and everything, I got way too in my head about it.

It's really not that deep, I'm just stuck in the depths right now and we are almost done with Week 8/10 -- Next month, I'm going to France!!!

Winter 2022 (Q2)

Jan 18, 2023 | Mercury slowly swivels forward

Week 8 Day 3 (1)

"I am at peace with my own feelings. I am safe where I am. I create my own security. I love and approve of myself"

Louise Hay affirmation of the day

Ok it might be the middle of the week, but I am finally caught up and ready to hit the week 8 content. Is it fair to say that I'm overwhelmed and officially 25? Birthday weekend/MLK has passed and so officially Holiday Season has passed. It is now just the cold months.

Regardless, you would think after taking minimal breaks and reading two chapters as fast as possible, I would have been able to submit two measly discussion posts by 10 pm.

Not so.