#myansay

Enough that after it’s been open for a while she can afford to hire employees, and isn’t sure it was such a great idea when it gets her Trevor and Alfredo, but what can you do? (They’re awesome, but dear God, the three of them should not be allowed to consort.)

Anyway.

Lindsay has this arrangement with local shelters and the whatnots to let the cats roam around her cage in the hopes they’ll get adopted.

She gets to be surrounded by cats all damn day and most of them get forever homes out of it before too long.

Win-win.

Gavin and Jeremy are this adorable couple that come to the cafe a fair bit because cats???

Also Lindsay has the best cupcakes and cookies and it’s on their way to school/work/wherever.

And with Gavin comes Michael, because of course. (This foul-mouthed asshole who’s more bark than bite and my God, his Joey Wheeler impression, be still her beating heart.)

Michael thinks Lindsay’s clearly crazy – all the fuckin’ cats, okay, and also Lindsay in general, but Gavin and Jeremy adore her and yeah, okay. Sometimes she’s not too bad. SOMETIMES.)

Jeremy’s got an old buddy, Ryan, that he met on some animation gig a while back. Weird guy who’s the biggest nerd and something something something theater kid? (Color Lindsay intrigued.)

He drags Ryan by a few times – Ryan’s car is in the shop and they’re carpooling. Hanging out and Jeremy needs caffeine boost or Ryan’s muttering about subpar cupcakes from the store his coworker got the office and fucking hell, Ryan.

Lindsay likes him a lot, okay, because he gets her dumb jokes and theater references and all the good stuff. (Also, love of anime.)

One day Lindsay’s offloading “extra” cupcakes and other assorted pastries on Gavin and Jeremy because it’s the end of the day and they’d go to waste otherwise. (Little white lie, but Gavin and Jeremy  are some of her favorite customers and it’s all good, so whatever.)

Lindsay asks after Ryan because she hasn’t seen him in a while and Gavin and Jeremy share this Look.

Apparently some project Ryan was working on got canceled or something along those lines and he’s just kind of coasting along now. Feeling very ~meh about things because he kind of loved that project and the higher ups thought it wouldn’t make them enough profit and anyway, it’s a shitty situation.

And Lindsay, okay.

She loves the Twins, but doesn’t trust either of them when it comes to baking. (Just. No???)

“Well, I mean,” Lindsay says, shooing one of the cats off the counter. This sweet little gray fluffy thing that she is totally not thinking about keeping for herself. (Couldn’t, anyway with her apartment building policy on pets and so forth.)

“Business is going good here and I could always use a hand with the baking?”

(Part of the reason Ryan is so appreciative of her baked goods is that he, too, is a baking person.)

Jeremy is like, “Oh, wow. I – that’s awesome, Lindsay, I’ll see if he’s interested?”

He’s not sure Ryan will accept the offer, but never hurts to ask and all that.

So he goes to Ryan a few days later and tells him about Lindsay needing help with the baking of things,  and Ryan is like.

Conflicted, right?

Because baking for a living is both intriguing and a little daunting, and also Lindsay.

This.

Lindsay.

This person he happens to like (maybe a little too much) because she’s smart and funny and gets his dumb jokes and gets his theater references and all the good stuff. (Also, love of anime.)

But he can also tell she’s got a Thing for this Michael guy, which understandable, really. Good looking guy like that? Of course she’s got a Thing for him. (Doesn’t really get why she gets heart-eyes for the Joey Wheeler impression, but hey. To each their own.)

Anyway, anyway, after a bit he decides why the hell not do The Thing, right?

Starts working at the cafe with Lindsay, which means early mornings in the kitchen and the two of them singing off-key (off-key, wrong lyrics, the whole shebang) and sharing stories about their lives.

Also, like.

Mandatory flour fights, the two of them laughing like idiots and bickering about who won which fight when Trevor and/or Alfredo come in for their shift and find the kitchen a goddamn mess.

They have this “friendly rivalry” thing going on too after a bit.Challenging each other to bake-offs to ramp up sales – specials and the like. Experimental recipes, all the fun stuff and get their customers to weigh in on whose cupcake/baked good is better and why.

And also, also.

Michael becomes a regular, right.

Doesn’t really live or work nearby but Gavin does so there are times he’ll stop by before headed over to hang out with him and Jeremy or on his way home. (Sometimes just for the hell of it, why not.)

Gets there when there aren’t a lot of customers around, so he’ll pull up a chair close by and sit around to  chat.

Big dumb smile on his face and this laugh that does things to both Lindsay and Ryan’s hearts.

Lindsay is like, oh, okay, so it’s like that? Sweet, when she realizes she has a Thing for both Michael and Ryan.

Ryan being like oh, shit, it’s like that and this sinking feeling when he has the same realization.

Michael is just…who even fucking knows, neither of them can tell.

The asshole just keeps coming by and Smiling at them. Laughing at whatever dumb thing they did just recently and scowling at the cats even though they can both tell he doesn’t hate them the way he claims he does.

The three of them and their awkward flirting (that they don’t even realize they’re doing???) until the Twins and Boston Tea Party decide to do something about it.

Series of romcom cliches and various misunderstandings until it’s Lindsay, Ryan, and Michael in the shop (and like a million cats) and everyone finally aware of this Thing involving the three of them.

Ryan trying to be a Good Friend here and duck out of things to make it easier on everyone, and Lindsay and Michael just like, fuck you no, get back here.

ALL the halting, awkward conversations about Feelings and how they apply here. Raw honesty and potential for hurt if they’re not careful.

Michael and Lindsay willing to give three of them a try, but only if Ryan wants to as well, you know?

And Ryan, sweet dumb Ryan who is perfectly aware he’s a weird theater kid and a massive dork is like uh, why?

And oh, oh, he finally gets to see Michael legitimately angry. (Like, yes, Ryan is a weirdo and a dork, but that’s what makes him so awesome? And also, also, fuck you again for being stupid, Haywood.)

Ryan is so, so baffled, but he’s also stupid in love with these two and they’re looking at him like it’s a mutual thing, so.

“Okay.”

Michael snorting and rolling his eyes, because Ryan. Lindsay muffling her laughter into the fur of that gray fluffball kitten that’s all grown up now and definitely hers, and oh Jesus Christ, why are they all so stupid???

And then, like.

Happily ever after shenanigans in which the Twins and Gavin and Jeremy make fun of the the three of them for forever.

…Also, the bookstore that opens up across the street from them a few months later. This sleepy-eyed asshole and his unstintingly Mild-tempered friend, right? (Only he’s not, because Jack is an asshole, okay? Jesus Christ, Lindsay, Ryan, do not let that fucker fool you okay, and my God, these cupcakes are amazing.)

Geoff coming over to bitch about Jack who’ll show up after Matt and Fiona and whoever else get there for their shift and give them the most pleasant of smiles as he gives Geoff endless shit for the hell of it.

Ryan and Michael get hired by the same crew and realize they’re not as stupid as the other idiots they’re working with and they gain genuine respect for one another. Surprise everyone when they both end up with the Fakes and get along immediately, (Everyone surprised that Michael’s got no  problem with the Vagabond when he was super suspicious of everyone else for a while after joining the crew.)

Lindsay and Ryan meeting when they’re working on opposite sides on a job. Lindsay manages to thwart Ryan at every turn through sheer chaos and by the end of things he’s soured on his bosses.

It’s clear they’re kind of hoping/don’t care if the job gets him killed - which he’s going to address with them at a later date – but in the meantime he is both impressed and bewildered at how the hell she keeps doing it.

Lindsay holding him at gunpoint for Dramatic Plot Purposes while her crew whisks the guy he was supposed to kill away, or maybe she manages to kill the guy he was sent to kill first and wanted to let him know it’s not personal, you know? Just business and she likes his style or wants to make sure she’s not making an enemy out of him.

Michael and Lindsay meet who even knows how, just that Michael is like “Oh, fuck, it’s you,” when Geoff’s introducing him to the crew.

Everything grinds to a halt because one, no one talks like that to Lindsay and lives (for long, anyway) because she doesn’t stand for that shit, and also, if he has a problem with her he’s not going to be sticking around, right?

But Lindsay is goddamned delighted to see him and everyone is like ??? at the two of them because Lindsay is pestering the fuck out of him and he’s scowly and snappish but both of them are totes fine with things???

OR.

Maybe they meet when Michael’s at a bar and there’s this good looking guy with a dumb man bun at the bar who keeps glancing his way, and it’s not like Michael’s got anything else planned so why the fuck not head over to see what happens with that?

Lindsay’s at a club somewhere with friends. Meg had to leave early because reasons, and Barbara’s getting drinks. Mica’s dancing and there’s some asshole harassing some poor girl at the bar, but just as Lindsay’s headed over there to deal with the guy, some hot as hell guy steps in and scares the bejeesus out of the asshole and she’s like OH??? and then flirting and the like, and she is charmed because he’s so sweet and shy and awkward as fuck.

Michael and Lindsay once again meet who the hell even knows how, and the crew is absolutely convinced they’re going to murder one another at some point, but then it comes out that the two of them have been married for a while by the time Michael gets recruited and everyone is ??? because Michael and Lindsay.

Either way, Ryan has no idea Michael and Lindsay know each other and Michael and Lindsay don’t realize the other one knows Ryan. (For Plot Reasons.)

Ryan and Michael have this on and off again Thing, and so do Ryan and Lindsay. Ryan’s always got this thought in the back of his head that maybe in another life he and Michael could be something serious when he’s with Michael, and when he’s with Lindsay he’s got the same though swimming around in his head.

But.

He’s hung up about his career path and thinks they could do better than with someone like him. It’s always a good time, fun with either one of them, but he’s all Drama about it, so it’s a casual no strings kind of thing he has going with them.

And then!

And then the three of them end up with the Fakes and Michael and Lindsay have never met the Vagabond, just know dorky, awkward, Ryan with the man bun and so on.

They don’t even know that Ryan is the Vagabond because the moment he joins the crew and sees them there he’s like OH SHIT.

Because look, these two people he used to hook up with every so often, that he has the warm fuzzies for and is all Drama about, are married.

To each other.

And while he is happy for them and the whatnot, there’s a little (lot) of heartbreak going for him there.

Also, the fact that he totally hooked up with both of them (separately) in the past and dear God, talk about awkward? (Especially since Michael wouldn’t be bothered by it, and Lindsay would be like “OH?” and then tease both of them and ask about sekrit gossips and the like to fuck with them.)

SO.

Vagabond mask and face paint the whole time, he tries not to talk around them as often as possible because they know what his voice sounds like, okay. (He’s aware he’s a human disaster, okay. Knows his whole Vagabond 24/7 thing around them will fall apart eventually, but he’s past the point of no return  on that one. Is waiting for the train wreck to happen where they realize he’s their old booty call and the whatnot and surprised that it hasn’t happened yet.)

The thing is, he’s (mostly) normal with the others when Michael and Lindsay aren’t around.

Laughs and jokes with them and so on, and Michael and Lindsay start to wonder if the Vagabond has a problem with the two of them. Because Gavin fucking adores the guy and Jeremy is always talking about his Battle Buddy.

Everyone fucking loves the guy, but he barely gives them the time of day.

And to complicate matters even further, Ryan ends up in a friends with benefits relationship with Gavin and Jeremy for a while. This casual thing because they live dangerous lives and they’re all attractive people and it’s just kind of fun?

But Ryan realizes Gavin and Jeremy have this whole ridiculously sweet Thing for each other they’re both godawful at dealing with?

Gavin doesn’t think Jeremy would ever be interested in someone like him (whatever the fuck that means) seriously, and Jeremy’s thinking the same thing, right? Both of them head over heels for one another and convinced the most they’re ever going have is this ongoing relationship – which is great, Ryan, really!

But look.

Ryan is the one they go to when they’ve had too much to drink and are feeling vulnerable about things. Tell him things they should be telling one another but can’t work up the courage to do so, so Ryan plays matchmaker for the two of them, and steps back when Gavin and Jeremy finally realize how gone for each other they are.

(There are still times the three of them go off somewhere together after a rough job or one too many close calls and come back looking better for it, so yeah.)

Meanwhile, Michael and Lindsay are going a little batty trying to figure out what the hell is going on with those three idiots?

Realize it’s a friends with benefits thing early on, which is fine so long as it doesn’t fuck the crew up.

It doesn’t, of course, BUT THEN.

Gavin and Jeremy realize they have FEELINGS for one another and get together and apparently the Vagabond was playing matchmaker???

Seems super happy for the two of them, but Michael and Lindsay are waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the Vagabond to be upset by it, but that never happens.

The three of them are still BFFs, but also there are those times when the three of them go off together and everyone expects them to reveal they’re in a relationship together but that never happens, which.

Okay, also fine, just real damn confusing sometimes.

And then there’s a Situation in which Ryan ends up having to go to ground at one of the crew’s safe houses and as luck (Plot Reasons) would have it, Michael and Lindsay are also there.

Just the three of them in this ramshackle little house somewhere to wait things out.

Ryan’s hurt (Plot Reasons) in such a way that the skull mask has to come off. Not really all there at the time to really appreciate the way Michael and Lindsay and both like !!! because wtf, the Vagabond is that dumbass Ryan???

And, look. The two of them have maybe been watching for Ryan’s reaction to Gavin and Jeremy getting together because they’re still curious as fuck as to why the Vagabond won’t give the two of them the time of day outside of work. (Also, have you seen the man? Like, obvs not without his mask, but he’s got a great body and also ~mysterious and such.)

But now his mask is off and they’ve had to clean the face paint off to get at the cuts on his face and whatnot.

Lindsay is just staring at him like holy shit, Michael is scowling at him, “Oh, fuck you, Ryan,” because he thought the stupid fuck was dead or something.

And Ryan, stupid pining idiot that he is – loopy on painkillers/blood loss/Plot Reasons, Ryan  - says with this sad little smile “I really wish you would,”and passes out.

(Look, he remembers their past trysts FONDLY, and much as he likes Gavin and Jeremy or any other partners he’s had since then, the Jones’ get him.)

Michael and Lindsay figure shit out while Ryan’s unconscious. Talk about how the hell they both know who he is and why. The fact they’ve been puzzling out the mystery of the Vagabond and his avoidance with them and so on.

Also, the Thing he has with Gavin and Jeremy, so, you know. He probably isn’t looking to see if he’d be a good fit with the two of them so that’s fine. (Really.)

And when Ryan wakes up again later he’s like SHIT because now they know about him, have probably figured everything out and is trying to figure out what happens now?

What happens now is that they give him shit for hiding behind his mask and so on, but that’s about it for that bit of ridiculousness on his part.

He doesn’t remember what he said before he passed out, which is honestly a good thing for him, and when things go back to normal for the crew he stops wearing his mask and face paint around Michael and Lindsay.

Starts talking to them and is less of a human disaster around them. (A little.)

And that’s good, great even, except for the bit where he falls even more in love with them. But he’s still happy for them and just pines from ~afar.

Various shenanigans in which there’s another close call for the crew.

Gavin or Jeremy this time, and while they’re doing the “oh thank God you’re not dead” face-touch-staring-into-one-another’s eyes thing Ryan is like, “Get a room you two.”

Jeremy rolls his eyes glances over because that is an amazing idea, but also, “Get fucked, Ryan!” as Gavin fails to stifle his laughter and Jeremy himself is cracking up.

Ryan shaking his head as those two idiots go off for the life-affirming sexy times and – unaware of what he said that one time in the safe house - “Wish I could.”

Michael and Lindsay are there to hear him, of course. And Lindsay asks why Ryan isn’t going with Gavin and Jeremy because the three of them and their Thing?

Ryan being all confused before realizing what she means, and then tells her that it really is just a friends with benefits thing he has with Gavin and Jeremy, you know? The whole bit where he loves them but isn’t in love with them and so on

Unbeknownst to Ryan, he seals his fate with that because after this Michael and Lindsay start plotting, right?

Have Serious Discussions about bringing Ryan into their relationship if he’s interested now that they know he’s not in a relationship with Gavin and Jeremy, okay.

Because they also remember their past ~trysts with Ryan fondly, and now that they’ve gotten to know him better realize they could absolutely be something good, the three of them.

Woo the fuck out of him, even though it takes the longest damn time before he realizes what’s going on. That all those times they went out for dinner or a movie. Impromptu races or off on jobs with just the three of them, that kind of thing were goddamned dates.

And he’s like conflicted because he’s really enjoyed spending time with them, but they’re also happily married and he doesn’t want to ruin that. (Also doesn’t want it to be a friends with benefits things, something casual because he couldn’t handle it now, having a taste of what they could have been and having to give it up.)

Some moment where Michael and Lindsay realize they’re not all on the same page and sit Ryan down to let him know they are absolutely wooing the fuck out of him so like, okay. Stop thinking they just want to spice up their sex life or whatever and Ryan being ??? and !!! when he looks over at Lindsay and she’s looking at him like he’s an idiot, but also an adorable idiot.

FEELS and ALL the talking and Ryan finally realizing he gets to have this, them, and kind of loving how much effort they’re going to to “woo the fuck out of him” and returning the favor because Michael and Lindsay are more than worth it, okay?

Happily ever afters for everyone and the whatnot.