#myanalysis

So, Thup put up a tent in the living room. This is completely understandable for several reasons.

It gives him a private space instead of being out in the open in Singa's house. It's like his own room. I don't know if any of you have slept on a living room couch but it's not great long term and feels very exposed. Hence why he still slept in it and kept it around after they made up.

Mosquitoes like he said.

He's sad about his crush working with his ex.

He's sad about his ONE friend potentially rekindling a relationship with the guy who wants to frame him for MURDER.

He has no one apart from Singa, like forgive him for holding onto the man tight.

Singa is also his spiritual guardian. He is a temple boy and yet literally NOTHING else works. That goes for after this case too. Even with the murderous ghost gone Thup is still getting constantly harassed by scary ghosts without Singa in his life. Like forgive the man for really wanting to bag this man long term.

IT MUST BE EXHAUSTING (AN ANALYSIS)

Hi. Taylor’s the problem. And she knows it. (affectionate)

All right friends. It’s time to dive into an analysis again. I’ve been reflecting on a lot of Midnights and Taylor’s ever-present self-deprecation this era and in my regular fashion, I had to make an extremely long-winded analysis post about a certain motif of hers that I’ve noticed has only grown more apparent this time around. and essentially that is her self-awareness toward her ever-ambiguous signaling in regard to her identity, and where she is positioned in the complicated and delicate journey of coming out, as well as the plethora of emotions that surround that for both herself and her fans and those of us who pick up on the queer coded subtext of her music and art.

to kick off this analysis, may I remind you of this beauty of a quote from Taylor’s 2018 reputation tour pride speech that prefaced Delicate?

I want to send my love and respect to everybody who in their journey and in their life hasn't yet felt comfortable enough to come out ... and may you do that on your own time and may we end up with a world where everyone can live and love equally and no one has to be afraid to say how they feel. When it comes to feelings and when it comes to love and searching for someone to spend your whole life with, it’s all just really really delicate.

That is quite possibly my favorite thing she’s ever said. and what inspired this tag.

Now I need to clarify up front — I am never insinuating a need or even desire for Taylor to come out. Because that’s not our place to say. If you’ve been around my blog long enough, I would hope that nuance would be apparent. I simply point out regular motifs and patterns within her art and how it correlates with queer-coded themes of closets, of almost coming out, of outright queer coding, of rainbows, of keeping a love secret and safe, and on and on and on. The signs are there if you know what to look for (re: “I gave so many signs”) and that’s what I explore on my blog. The point is, I will never demand she come out. But I will stand with her in this complex journey she appears to be on. It’s entirely her journey and however she wishes to navigate that is hers to decide.

but that doesn’t detract from the reality that for those of us who see this beautiful queer subtext of her art and music and visuals and work and self, the ambiguity and constant back-and-forth when it comes to her identity (and the idea of coming out) can in fact be a lot to try and process and understand and ultimately to reconcile as we root for her. Trying to understand where she stands is much like chasing a moving target. (not that she owes any explanation to us, because again, she doesn’t.) her art and creativity are her place of expression and catharsis. however, watching her navigate these complexities and trying to root for her in this sometimes messy space is also, dare I say, exhausting.

hence, the title and general theme of this analysis.

so let’s begin.

I have watched this dance more than I can count and I feel like I know every details. We all know that Sidney and Charlotte didn’t do the dance like the other couples and I wanted to share with all of you everything that I've noticed with GIFs. I don't know if someone have already done it but here's my little analysis. 

Here, is the moment right after they do the thing where they bring their palms together. If you look at the couple in the back we can see the lady’s arm going down and as the camera turns we can see all the men’s arms behind their back. While Charlotte and Sidney take each other's hand.

Their hands. I swear this dance is all about their hands, you’ll see. So I have two or three other GIFs about their hands but this one is the most important. I think we all know that they are not supposed to be hand in hand and that’s why we have this shot. If you look at every other couples during the dance we can see that the men support the ladies right hand. So Sidney was supposed to give the back of his hand to Charlotte and not an opened hand. It shows how much Sidney wants to be intimate with Charlotte and open with her. I think it can be a metaphor of Sidney ready to open his heart to her.

I love this shot. Here we can see the intimacy of every couple by the space between their bodies. Let’s take a look to the couple in the back on the right with the lady wearing the red dress (kinda orange on my gif). There’s a lot of space between them which makes me think that they don’t know each other. So the personal space is not crossed. Now, let’s take a look to the couple right in the middle in the back with the lady wearing the white dress. I would say that they know each other but not in an intimate way. There’s space between them but not as big as the previous couple. We can say these two things for pretty much every couples except for one. Sidney and Charlotte. Where is their personal space? It looks like Sidney grabbed her and glued her to him. Also, their hands!

Sidney, stop! Okay, so I love this moment! We’re gonna take a look to the same couples as the previous GIF. Right on the left we have the couple who I presume don’t know each other. Do you see how the man holds the lady’s hands? He holds them very heigh and very close to her with outstretched arms. Again, personal space. And he puts his left arm behind his back. The other couple in the middle, the man holds the woman’s hands lower than the previous man and more close to him and puts his left arm behind his back. Now, Sidney and Charlotte. Sidney holds Charlotte’s hands to his stomach (so she can feels the butterflies in his stomach. Just kidding...?) So he holds her hands to his stomach and keeps them in his hands longer than the other men. Longer than he doesn’t have the time to put his left arm behind his back. Then when they take each other’s hands, Sidney makes a few steps towards Charlotte, while the other men stay put. Another proof of Sidney’s feelings for Charlotte. He is so ready to love her and to be loved by her during this dance.

Here’s two GIFs about their hands. Like I said, they are not supposed to take each other’s hands like that. If we look at the couples in the back, we see that the ladies hands are simply ON the men’s hands.

Okay, so you are going to hate me for this one. I hate myself for this one. So first, I love how they take each other’s hands here. See, their hands. Again. And now, for the part where you are going to hate me. Take a look right on the left in the corner... Yep. We see Eliza’s arrival... (we see her in the previous GIF too). Alright, let’s forget about that. To the next one!

Another ‘hands GIF’. We can perfectly see the other couple’s hands behind them and how the lady’s hand is. If you look closer, you can see Sidney and Charlotte bumping each other’s thumb while taking each other’s hands. I noticed it while making the GIF and thought it was cute. I also spotted Lord Babington on the right. It’s very quick.

Of course, I have to mention the famous “I'm-to-busy-staring-at-my-future-wife-to-distant-her-from-me-and-lead-her-into-the-last-spin-of-this-dance-so-I'll-put-her-hand-on-my-heart-instead-PS-leave-us-alone!” moment. This moment is so precious. And the way how the other couples moves before the spin it looks like Sidney and Charlotte have had stopped to ‘dance’ for awhile now.

The dance is over and Sidney is not ready to let go of Charlotte’s hands. Look how he looks at his empty hands. He looks so sad about it. Plus, look how he clenches his jaw! I don’t know if it’s a Theo thing or a Sidney thing but he did it a few times through the season and I’ve always had a thing for actors doing it but that’s another story.

And to finish, let’s talk about that moment. It’s right after Sidney notices Eliza. Do you see what he is doing with his hands? There's the obvious reason, he does it to simply thanks Charlotte for the dance. But we can see it in a different way. Sidney touched and hold Charlotte’s hands for the first time. For three or four minutes he was in his bubble with her. He couldn’t take his eyes and hands off her. For a few minutes it was just them with no one around. But now he is back to the reality with his ex in front of him. So to me, the way he holds his own hand, it is to hang on to what he just lived and felt. He wants to remember Charlotte’s touch in his hands forever because he’s afraid of what will come next with the return of his ex. Also, we can see it as the metaphor that we had earlier at the beginning of the dance when he takes Charlotte’s hand. Now it can be a metaphor of Sidney closing his heart because he is lost, confused and doesn’t want to be hurt again. Besides, we can see Charlotte doing pretty much the same thing. She touches her left fingers with her right hand. It is very similar to what Sidney is doing but yet so much different. While Sidney closes his entire hands, Charlotte touches only her fingers with her hands wide open. So I think for her, it’s a “pinch-me” kinda thing to remember Sidney’s touch on her hands. To remember what she felt while dancing with the man that she had just realized she was in love with.

Okay, so I’m done now. I’m sorry it was this long. I hope some of you were interested by all of this and by how I see this scene. Maybe I overthink too much but I love this show and Sidney and Charlotte so much! 

Hiccup’s pure selflessness. Not a selfish bone in that skinny boy’s body. Yeah he’s creating a dragon utopia FOR dragons, and then he gives that up and let’s his best friend go so THEY can live free and safe forever in the hidden world.

(I’m in love with that boy)

Friendship vs. romantic love. Yeah, big controversy here. I value friendship so much and am suspicious of romantic love, especially when friendship is downplayed in its favor. Did HTTYD do that here? On some days, I think so, and sometimes I see through that and find the power of the story. There was a lot of romance in HTTYD3, but the friendship between Hiccup and Toothless was always displayed so strongly. The first day after HTTYD3 (back in Feb 2, early showing), I was so upset that Toothless left Hiccup for a love interest. I’m still wondering about that. But there’s no doubt in my mind that Hiccup and Toothless love each other deeply. They are the deepest friends I have ever imagined or seen in this world. And I won’t give that up lightly. Furthermore, we gained something very special in THW: We heard them say “I love you” to one another for the very first time. It’s official. They love each other. And that’s the kind of love that I believe in.

Hiccstrid wedding, Hiccstrid children, Night Fury/Light Fury babies. Everything we’ve headcanoned for years is true.

Hiccup still a beat-up dweeb as chief. HTTYD2 Hiccup had it easy. HTTYD3 Hiccup, now that he’s technically the number one boss, has everyone putting him down as if to remind him that he’s not a natural at this. Imagine yourself as a villager -- all your life the chief’s son was a laughing stock, you had a few years seeing him in a whole new light and actually admiring him and being grateful for the dragons he brought into your life -- and now he’s chief. He’s still as twingly as Hiccup always is. I think it must have been weird for the people of Berk and especially the kids to answer to Hiccup as their chief. That’s why all the butt-slapping, and beard-thrusting, and tossing-chief-Hiccup-into-the-air. It’s the way everyone’s coping with having the runt of the litter be your new Commander-in-Chief.

(Hiccup being thrown in the air by his people and feeling sick is one of my favorite scenes! Throw chief Hiccup!)

Badass raid to start the day, the most badass Night Fury with glowing dorsal spines, the most badass peacemaking demon with the hottest face EVER

Hiccup has grown incredibly handsome. yep. There’s one piece of hair I really like that sticks out of his head, and then he has those bright, explorative, and gentle eyes that makes his whole face beautiful. I like his face and his skinny waist. He feels so small to himself, but he’s such a badass to us. 

I got mad and sad and upliftingly overwhelmed with peace and turmoil with the separation scene. I saw this back in Feb 2, I felt like my world was ending the next day and that Toothless didn’t miss Hiccup enough and that they wouldn’t ever be together again. I felt that their separation was done wrong with the Light Fury love interest. I still have mixed feelings about it, but there’s no denying how this is incredibly strong storytelling to have them choose to separate and grow because of it. It’s an amazing storytelling choice all the way from Cressida in the books, and I’ve sort of anticipated it since then, though I didn’t know how serious it would be. How they say goodbye to each other is one of the most movingly emotional scenes, ever. Hiccup and Toothless said goodbye. Hiccup touched Toothless on the nose, that special touch, one last time. I really can’t believe it.

The wildness of Toothless and the maturity of Hiccup in the final reunion. Hiccup actually isn’t too much older in the last scene, since if you shave off his beard he still looks like our Hiccup. But he isn’t flying dragons. He’s taking the slow path ... sailing on a ship, which takes days instead of hours to travel to other lands. How slow ships must feel for Hiccup. But I think he got used to them. Astrid looks incredibly beautiful, with her curls -- and then the children! JUST then they sight Furies on an ice flow -- wow, it felt incredibly real to me, in that mist, like scenes from a nature show when we’re just squinting to see undisturbed nature living its beautiful life. The Night Fury notices the ship, the people -- he does more than notice, his ears perk up. I think, he is starting to remember that there’s something familiar on that ship. He flies to it -- and HOW CAN I TALK ABOUT HICCUP AND TOOTHLESS AT THE SAME TIME? Hiccup is so damn respectful of Toothless. He stands there so tentative yet warm, introducing himself to Toothless so carefully without ever assuming that his best bud remembers him. Hiccup treats Toothless like a DRAGON -- a being to utterly respect. And the LOVE that Hiccup feels -- you can feel it, too, the way his eyes try to hide how elated he feels that he is seeing Toothless for the first time in years. This is the FIRST TIME in years that Toothless has looked this wild ... this unsearchable ... that’s what I loved about Toothless. When we first met him, he was this captured beast with eyes full of meaning, a beast screaming in Hiccup’s face, this beast flying disjointedly and formidably into the misty forest. Toothless was wild, and you couldn’t always know what he was thinking with his face, though you ALWAYS knew that there were thoughts and intentions behind his eyes. I felt that HTTYD2 Toothless and ROB/DOB/RTTE Toothless had lost that wild mystery and intelligence, and that Toothless had been essentially domesticated. But his look on that ship returned a lot of what he had lost. Toothless’s face, as he pauses with his claws laced onto the bow of the ship, is neither aggressive nor welcoming, but there is yet both distance and warmth and curiosity in it. That’s the wonderful unspoken ambiguity with Toothless as an animal who cannot speak human language. We must interpret what he is saying. And I think at this moment, not even Toothless quite knows what to think as he stands there. I believe that he feels that someone he knows is on that ship, but he can’t quite be sure. Something is so very familiar, whether it’s the way the boy talks, his mannerisms, the eyes. Toothless has become unaccustomed to people, so just seeing a human being again is a lot for him. But he smells Hiccup -- and THAT’S IT! He’s totally certain that his friend has returned and he gives him the most crazily excitable welcome ever. Their love is displayed right there.

THE CMBYN MOOD / PLAYLIST 

Elio/Oliver Songs w/ analysis 

BREAKDOWN OF MY FAVOURITE SCENES

First Kiss

The End Scene

The Peach Scene 

I looked at him: I wanted one more kiss.

YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED

Convince me Oliver loved Elio as much as Elio loved Oliver 

The ending of the book

Sex Scenes 

The Postcard

An author sculpts statues while a director makes them move

Dream Sequence

Oliver needed company ft. @lilchalamet

Does Mum know?

10 times they said, ‘I love you’ without saying ‘I love you’

Why did Oliver go on to marry a woman?

Traitor (not really an analysis)

Why Elio doesn’t tell Oliver not to get married

So, I rewatched all three Captain America films during the last five nights and I noticed something I haven’t read in any post so far, so I’ll quickly scribble it down for you guys.

So. Do you all remember that (heartbreaking) interview with Peggy Carter (full interview here) that Steve Rogers watches in the Smithsonian (Captain America: The Winter Soldier)?  Peggy says, "He saved over a thousand men, including the man who would...who would become my husband as it turned out. Even after he died, Steve was still changing my life." That last line is a great line. It says so much about her as a character and about her emotions towards Steve. Also, it depicts Steve’s influence on her life, even in major life decisions like marriage. Wow.

But now, let’s go and jump ahead to her funeral (Captain America: Civil War). The Avengers are under pressure, the NATO wants them to sign the Sokovia Accords that threaten to split up their team and Steve knows exactly what he wants. He knows the consequences to his decision and I think he’s a little afraid of getting back out of the team. In fact, he was quite lonely before he joined the Avengers Initiative (just look at the deleted scenes in The Avengers), not ready to just leave his past behind, a past full of people now dead. In Avengers: Age of Ultron, he sees Peggy in his vision and she says "Steve. The war is over. We can finally go home." I think that's what his heart wanted and still kind of hopes for the most (of course, he had realized that’s not possible, but I think he somehow keeps this wish for a happy ending to the war buried deep inside his heart), but from this post (I’m so sorry - I’ve been searching for almost an hour now, but I can’t find it. I’ll put it in when I do.), I gather and agree that Steve doesn’t see his home in a specific place, but in the people he lets into his life. So, he does see the Avengers as his family - he leads them, but he takes care of them too. Just look how naturally Steve gets up and joins Wanda in her room to comfort her. He doesn’t look uneasy getting into her personal space; he’s done this a couple of times before. Steve cares very much about his guys, about Tony and all the others (of course, Bucky is a different story still). So basically, Steve has to make a major life decision. Will he stay with his new family? Or will he do what in his heart feels right but what will undoubtedly hurt because there is separation on the horizon? And then Peggy dies and Steve sits in that church in London and Sharon Carter quotes her aunt Peggy on her wise words. And those wise words are exactly the words Steve needs to hear.