#my...kids..

“if we’re going to be all...correct.. here..” he’s being obnoxious to ward off the fear that embraces him over keeping this secret from her. he did it for her own good -- just like he’s sure Lissa (vasilisa, a part of his brain corrects automatically) and Bellamy and Tasha and Laurel all agreed. why bellamy decided now was the time to bring rose into the fold...especially since she’s made her choices very clear for who she supports. he may never know the motives behind it, but he knew the second they had decided that it was what they were going to do...that he was going to be the one to tell her. she used to live with him, after all. and if anything...there’s a part of him that feels like he’s the best equipped to break the news. why, with his blunt nature that isn’t half as reassuring as anyone else that could do it... he isn’t sure.

okay. he does know why. if anything, the burden should fall to him because tasha is his family. he holds responsibility for her actions, and that means...he is responsible for the actions that hurt rose. and with them both good at the projection game, rose could displace some of that anger onto him and she won’t feel as bad as she would if it was laurel or lissa. no... no one else should have told her about this. 

“i did tell you.” he finishes, a small smirk on his face. “just saying..” an awkward pause follows as he shoves his hands in his pockets. “look...” he doesn’t know what to say, so he’s gonna just come out with it. “you’d been through enough. it wasn’t about you; it was because...bringing you in this was just gonna risk you more.” she’s gonna come back saying that it should have been up to her to make that decision, but... “and it puts...me at risk.” hoping that connection is still there, hoping that she still considers him family despite all of this. “i didn’t want to lose you. again.” because how can he ask her to keep another secret from dimitri when she left christian to go take care of him? he’s all about ... being fair. but the meaning behind his words are clear, as is the hurt. “we...” because there are more people involved that just him.. “thought you should know.”