#my values

Balance

Simplicity

Creativity

Self-improvement

it is the enemy of love. it really is. i cannot give to a world from a vessel overrunneth with shame. i simply will not. or, worse, when i do, it is tainted by it. what i give in return is not love, is not light; it is fear, and shame, and disillusionment, and anger, and disgust.

i am so against myself, i cannot see people as human. i see them as dirty, as irritating, as a snivelling, shoving, writhing mass; an overcrowd, an overstimulation, a foul play. i shy from the friends joking to each other as we pass each other on the stairs, feeling a sense of disgust. i groan at the line of people waiting for food. i growl softly to myself as the tourists wander blindly into the crosswalk. i refuse to go downtown cause there are too many cars, and i am the only one i can guarantee is paying attention. it's exhausting, and it's draining, and it's misanthropizing.

but then. something changes. my perspective loses some of its bitter edge and then, everything is different. every young boy i stop and address directly, "hey buddy" smiles shyly up at his favourite adult like she acknowledged ME and their adult grins back and says "tell her what you want". every man proud-eyed and distracted lights up when i greet them genuinely and you'd think they were seven years old on christmas morning again. every young girl and woman shifting uncomfortably in her skin, out pops a gentle reminder, "there you go, hun," and something of the tension eases out of her shoulders. something soft but bolder blossoms deep in the shadow of their eyes. in that moment, their relation to the world is changed, just a little, and it seems to be for the better. it does not matter if it lasts. it does not matter if it is huge. it has an impact. and it changed that moment, the only one i had given to me.

we want to be soft. we want to be treated softly, and kindly, to look back and go, "you know what? it was okay." when asked about our day. we want to realize that the people we encountered on the running of the mill basis did not make us feel dysmorphic and misanthropic, especially towards ourselves. we were comfortable in an otherwise-uncomfortable moment, and how strange was that? why? how?

when you take shame back out of the equation, you start diminishing it for the people around you, too. you love purer as a little bit more of the snuff is burnt off. shame clouds our eyes, but we tend to think it just alters our perspective of ourselves and not how we see the world, that that is something else, compartmentalized. but that's not true. it colors everything. and the more we are ashamed in our own personhood, in existing, in being perceived by the hundreds of eyes we pass on a daily basis when we step out our doors, the more we enlabour to shrink ourselves, the more we will find ourselves at odds with humankind. you simply cannot seperate the two.

but i will promise you this: if you could find a way to shrug off your shame in being a person, even for a brief moment, the world loses a little more of its bitter edge that pokes and needles you so, making you so uncomfortable, and angry, and exhausted, and disgusted all the time. patience becomes a thing that amazes the people around you, and you're left going, but i didn't do anything, really. you just weren't bothered by another's lack of good character in a moment gone bad. you touch a tired heart in a way nothing else was. you, for just a moment, push back the weary, heavy cloud of being human, and whisper in the back of another's mind: you're alive, and that is amazing too.

in the moments we embrace our humanity, that same moment we extend that to another.

OK ch-ch-check it!

We a squad. All 3,600 + of us. I’m 27 and basically realized I’ve been sleeping on myself! We value being nice, sweet beans -- but sometimes it comes at the expense of our soul, our heart, our personhood. No more I say!

You must, must, must know your boundaries, or you will fall prey to many a well meaning person, or your own negative thoughts. We get in our own way.

 If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything. Boy have I learned that the hard way. All because I was too afraid to know my worth.

We know our worth here. We have value. We are kind and self aware. Loving and self serving. Open and able to protect our mental health. Being a bleeding heart leaves you with no blood, y'all. We tryna live our best lives! And it starts with you. On the inside. 

Full explanation of each bullet point below the cut! I hope you enjoy and it gives you some insight and guidance to being your best self. Inbox is open for questions <3 

I have identified 8 values that are truly me. That is I full relate to them. I am concentrating living my life with these values.

I learned while listening to an audio recording that Benjamin Franklin Identified his values, and chose to concentrate living one of his values each week. He identified 12 values (virtues as he called them) and concentrated on one of them each week on a 12 week cycle.

I chose to do the same and have marked my “values week” in my outlook calendar. My 8 values are as follows

Honesty

Continual improvement

Treating people fairly

Being organised

Being clean and tidy

Dressing nicely

Thinking solutions for making my life better

Being self-reliant and financially independent