#my posts 6

books I read in 2026 - project hail mary by andy weir

kell has a complex relationship with his birthday. he doesn't know the exact date bc his memories had been wiped when he was bought into the maresh family. rhy decided they would celebrate it the day they officially became brothers

he also doesn't enjoy attention but rhy never forgot to bring him a pastry or a small cake in his favorite flavor so they could eat it together. rhy would obviously try to make kell laugh while doing this and once kell was about to choke with cake. he would also give kell gifts he picked for him

after kell goes on the grey barron with lila, she makes him work even harder on that day, since he made a point that it is a day just like any other. if they are docked somewhere, she takes him out to drink. one time, she secretly docked in red london to surprise him so he could see rhy and meet ren for the first time

needless to say, lila tries to keep her birthday a secret. even alucard had to pry it from her hands, and her crew casually discovered it and prepared a big dinner for her aboard. she never truly celebrated it nor thinks is important, although she is grateful to be alive and to be on that ship with kell and everyone, who are now her family. kell made a point to tell her happy bday first thing in the morning and let her choose one thing she wants to do with him that day (it's often training of some kind, which often ends with kissing)

rhy loooooves his birthday and celebrates it twice. the first party is official, and all royalty is invited. he hates most of them, but he wants to make his enemies annoyed: he wants them to see he's thriving and wearing the best outfit and smile

the second party is private and held in his private chambers. there's his favorite people (kell and lila can't come every year, unfortunately, but they once celebrated via the basin) and they play games. to him, the best gift is that people he loves are present

holland never celebrated his birthday and discovered birthdays by travelling to the other londons. he finds the concept a bit silly. not that one can't celebrate how many years they've been alive, but growing in white london, the most important thing was staying alive and seeing another day. there wasn't time to celebrate life, when you had to survive.

if holland lived, maybe kell would've brought him a cupcake to celebrate every year. and if holland in tftop is real, kosika would organize a party to celebrate him

alucard used to spend his birthday with his sister anisa, who never forgot to make a handmade gift for him. after becoming captain, he celebrated on his ship and give the day off to his crew. the night ended with everyone or almost, very drunk and flirty

Their main issue related to avoidance of communication is their fear of vulnerability, but in different domains. Kell doesn't want to look vulnerable when it comes to the physical. He was frustrated he couldn't hold himself well without his magic and refused Lila's help when it came to tending to his wounds.

Lila doesn't want to be vulnerable when it comes to emotions. The black ring argument in tftop exposed her fear of vulnerability, to which she also responded with anger. Lila not telling Kell about Kosika likely was also about not wanting to make Kell worry about more stuff than what he was already dealing with (his broken magic, Rhy being threatened by The Hand etc.). In tftop, Lila felt like the world(s) was on her shoulders, since Kell couldn't use antari magic properly. She asked for Alucard's help so she wouldn't bother Kell! She later understood that Kell wanted to be included and do whatever he could to help, even if it meant getting hurt like he did.

Kell wanted to see Lila's emotions ("Why didn't you stay on the ship?") and Lila wanted to see Kell think of his body as a weapon too, other than magic ("Isn't it obvious? He learned how to use his other hand."). They push each other to do better. They push each other to have no fear, because the other is there for them. The other will always look out for them. The other loves them, even if they show it in different ways.

Kell and Lila sealing that door to nowhere together was the point of their relationship evolution in tftop: they needed to trust each other and work together if they wanted to win.

2026 books - north and south by elizabeth gaskell