#my antics

Anyway one of the last assignments is to rewrite the ending/final chapter or to add a chapter eleven

So I wrote about Erik being high on benadryls and his love being fake so he kills Emily her ex bf via- messing with her parachute while they’re over a volcano and putting rat poison into his drink while he’s not looking

Freshman Year Edition

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Nearly all of these are things I actually did during this school year, but there are a few that I only considered doing, or wanted to do but didn’t get the chance. Also, technically I am still allowed to do a lot of these, but if this was literally any other school, I would probably have gotten quite a few detentions. 

Without further ado, let’s get started on this! 

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☆ Not allowed to draw Bill Cipher on the whiteboard. 

☆ Or SCP-682. 

☆ I am not allowed to convince other students that I work for the SCP Foundation. 

☆ My desk is not a portal to another dimension. 

☆ I am not “Cure (insert anything),” and it is not a good idea to sign my homework as that. 

☆ I am not allowed to create spy code and use it in class. 

☆ The fact that I am on the no-phone list does not mean I get to play games on an iPad in class. 

☆ The “WHAT ARE THOSE” meme is dead. 

☆ I am not allowed to “bring balance to the universe” by whiting out half the questions on my math worksheet. 

☆ My classmate is not an SCP, and I am not allowed to attempt to contain her under the desk. (I didn’t actually do this. I just wanted to. And the fact that she somehow causes every laptop she touches to break and they don’t work again until they get away from her kind of makes her an SCP imo.) 

☆ My teacher is not possessed. 

☆ ALLEGIANT SPOILER ALERT ALLEGIANT SPOILER ALERT Not allowed to set up a Tris Prior memorial in the hallway. 

☆ I am not allowed to write “[DATA EXPUNGED]” when I don’t know the answer to a test question. 

☆ There are no alien spies at my high school. I am not allowed to ask them to abduct the annoying kid in my math class. 

☆ Yes, the course code for math contains the letters MFM. No, it does not stand for “motherfucking math”. 

☆ When writing equations to represent math question scenarios, I am not allowed to pick the variable letters specifically to spell out expletives. 

☆ I am not allowed to convince people I am immortal. 

☆ Singing karaoke with YouTube in music class will not get me extra credit. 

☆ I am not allowed to write any part of the Bee Movie script on any worksheets. 

☆ Or post it in Google Classroom. 

☆ The substitute teacher did not kill and replace the regular teacher. 

☆ Not allowed to play Quidditch with the janitor’s broom and a yellow fidget toy. 

☆ Eleventy seven is not the answer to any math question. 

☆ I am not allowed to put my classmates on Keter duty, especially if the reason for doing so is that they made a bad pun. 

☆ Oh, all right. The kid who made a joke about the Holocaust deserves to be on Keter duty. I get away with it this time. 

☆ When the answer to a math question is 4, I am to write “4″, not “Tobias Eaton”.

☆ Posting screamer prank links in Google Classroom is right out. 

☆ Not allowed to vandalize the emergency steps poster to point out and criticize its use of Comic Sans. 

☆ Putting up “evil genius seeking henchmen” recruitment posters in the hallway was funny exactly once. 

☆ Alien abduction is not a valid reason to be 45 minutes late for school. 

☆ I am no longer allowed to say “but you can call me your new lord and master for all eternity” after my name when introducing myself to anyone. 

☆ Or write that after my name when signing homework or exams. 

☆ Not allowed to claim that 096 053 ANY SCP breached containment as an excuse for being an hour and a half late for school and missing first period. 

☆ Rickroll links in Google Classroom was only funny the first time. 

☆ Even if they’re posted in binary code. 

☆ The school service dog is named Yukon, not Sirius Black, even though he is a black Labrador. 

☆ Not allowed to put a sign saying 101 on the career studies classroom door. (If you don’t get it, google 1984) 

☆ I am not allowed to tell any teacher that what they’re saying is “adult propaganda and you know it”. 

☆ No longer allowed to come up with conspiracy theories about my teachers and convince other students they are true. Especially if they involve the Illuminati or aliens. 

☆ It is not funny to ask the science teacher any questions relating to alien anal probing. 

☆ Scare pranking teachers = bad idea. 

☆ Posting pictures of Waluigi in my google docs class assignment is right out. 

☆ I am not allowed to continue signing my science homework on exoplanets as “Sailor Kepler”. 

☆ My school supplies do not turn into monster-killing weapons. 

☆ The piranha plants from Super Mario are not an appropriate topic for my presentation on dangerous plants. 

☆ I am not a bionic duplicate of myself from another dimension. 

☆ An eldritch abomination did not eat my homework. 

☆ Not allowed to use the science side of Tumblr to cheat on a quiz. 

☆ No longer allowed to turn in my homework partly or entirely in 1337speak. 

☆ Drawing loss.jpg on the class whiteboard was funny exactly once. 

☆ The correct response to a kid accidentally locking himself out of the classroom is not “what’s the secret password”. 

☆ I am not allowed to turn in assignments entirely in Comic Sans. 

☆ Putting memes in google doc class assignments with not get me extra credit. 

☆ When asked to identify a vine by the greenhouse field trip worksheet, “why you always lyin’“ is not a valid answer. 

☆ Neither is “it’s Wednesday my dudes”. 

☆ Or ANY internet memes. 

☆ Slither.io is a bad use of study hall time. 

☆ If someone has written “I love this class” on the whiteboard, I am not allowed to edit it to say “I love ass”. 

☆ The sharpies in art class are not for getting high. (I didn’t actually get high, I got caught before I could) 

☆ The Thanus Theory is never to be mentioned in class ever again.