For example incorrect quotes like this but more thought out (I came up with this in like a minute so there was an example)

At the farm (a nice quiet week, Melinda was put in charge of shield with Phil)

Nick:*being tackled by the Barton kids(minus Nathaniel as this is before) who are yelling gramps pirate (Lila) and pirate (copper) and climbing on him like he’s a tree* help *looking at Laura and Clint *

Laura:*laughs *nah you’re fine sir

Nick: mockingbird!

Laura:*snickers more *

Clint: kiddos! Look!

Lila and cooper look over

Natasha and Maria:*getting out of their car*

Natasha:*wraps her arms around Lila as Lila jumps off Nick and pounces into Natasha’s arms-AUNTIE NAT!!!!*hey kiddo *grunts playfully as cooper runs head straight to her * hey my other favorite kiddo

Nick: *looking disheveled, sighs in relief* Barton, Laura I’m going in first

Laura:*snickers * yes sir make yourself at home

Nick: *grumbles *

Clint:ugh why does he call me Barton and you Laura

Laura: oh poor baby *mocking back rub *

Natasha and Maria: *walks to them with the two kids hanging off Natasha like koalas*

Laura: you want me to get them off, honey?

Natasha: No need

Maria:*flushed from trying to not laugh*

Laura: *notices* ok well if the k-o-a-l-a-s~ get to be too clingy tell me or Clint

Maria:*breaks and laughs *

Laura:*slight smirk*

eeHEheheeEH bUT OF COURSE. 500 words of a snACK

-=-=-=-

There is old blood crusting under his nails, like rusting metal on a blade. You wonder who it belongs too, if it were just one poor soul or that of many Daemon has cut down. Remnants of his conquests—justice he deems fitting in the name of the Crown. 

Two of those long, battle-worn fingers whisper under your jawline and slot beneath your chin. He tilts your head and your breath hitches. The ends of his mouth quirk into an impish smirk. 

“Tell me something,” Daemon coaxes, thumb sweeping over the divot beneath your bottom lip. “Do I frighten you, little shadow?”

His words are mocking, not a hint of true compassion. He enjoys the foul sport of intimidation far too much.

This alone should disgust you.  

But the air is humid and the night is thick with buzzing possibilities. Honeyed wine coats your tongue, spinning insults you wish to say, into molasses and ash. Your brows furrow. Setting aside the asinine manners and the questionable decisions—Daemon Targaryen intrigues you. He knows this—he is no fool to the sideways glances, the lingering focus on his mouth cradling the rims of golden chalices and his sharp smiles. You trusted in dark corners and the long shadows of the afternoon to hide you away, to keep your curiosities under wraps—a pity it never worked.  

His free hand slithers around your bare arm, his fingers scalding over your already heated flesh. The pads of his fingers dig into your skim, indenting the muscle. Not hard enough to bruise, but firm enough that faint marks will linger.   

“Tell me,” he prompts again, jostling your chin.  

The warm glow of the torchlight carves his sharp features into something akin to sinister. To him, you are something to be devoured—conquered. A true warrior—wildfire thrums through his veins and each breath that puffs over your flushed skin is invitingly toxic. Lips made of glass and a voice cut from steel. A grin made for war and eyes flecked with embers—

You swallow and forget about the sins threaded in the fibers of his soul. It’s best you do. You do not wish to falter and lose your slippery foothold you have against Daemon. True—you are no fearsome warrior, deft with a blade, but what you lack in a sword, you make up in full with your whip-tongue. All these months you’ve held your head high, nipping back at every wayward insult he’s thrown at you. Every battle of wit and test of will, you’ve bested and shrugged aside. It is a reflection of the North—that your House is unwavering, to tread lightly amongst the wolves. 

The Rogue Prince deemed you easy prey—a poor writhing creature that turns belly up and submits under the barest of pressure. You are no dove. 

This is a dance of ice and fire.       

It is harder than I thought it will be. They try to repeat Kishi style in the best way they could, they put E(I don’t remember her name properly) in the same place in the note “author “ right after Kishi, make them equal somehow. You know, even sns fans who try to find some sns-ish moment on this panels make it even worse because they know it will be ss related and ss fans know it’s their territory and now they’re like bosses in comments like they know this time they’re right… it was physically painful to see this, and since it will be manga it will last for a long time. And even if I’m far away from fandom (twitter and insta), those things will catch me anyway. I know, it’s hard time overall ( to me), so many things happening in the world and I shouldn’t even pay attention to such little thing, I knew this manga will came, but still… I just don’t want to go through the same thing i was into during gaiden and 700 again, why didn’t I learn anything since that time?

Sorry for that, I just wanted to push it away

I feel your pain (๑•̀ᗝ•́)૭!!! 

Even worse.. They place her name after Kishimoto’s behind “Original Story by:” as if Kishimoto is the one who wrote it and Esaka just helped him with it or something. 

Well.. they did that on the original cover too. But that’s not even true. This story, this SS-fantasy fanfic Wattpad self-insert is only from Esaka. She said so herself:

“My story.”

“Original story” can mean many things. It can also mean ‘Naruto’. That’s a great loophole because the tweet isn’t tied to legal matters, but the cover is. Which then in this case it’s the best marketing strategy. Make people believe Kishimoto actually wrote this shit so it looks Canon? Make his Twitter account that isn’t actually his Twitter account tweet about it excitedly? Genius. I’ll give em that.

But then.. just treat the damn thing for what it is, right? A fanfic. 

Yet SNS-fans are fueling SS-shippers by fighting them... why?

How is Naruto clutching his chest in pain and staggering his feet forward to Sasuke begging him to wait and not leave the village.. romantic?????? How is Sasuke ignoring Naruto’s pleas and this copy of Sasuke and Sakura’s scene where he left her on a bench- but worse, a SNS-moment? Of course SS-shippers are mocking that. Saying “Naruto wants to be Sakura so bad 🤡” It hurts, but I can’t even blame them. It is actively MOCKING SNS. THAT IS THE WHOLE GODDAMN POINT. Esaka wrote many moments mocking Naruto in that stupid novel. This won’t be the last time this happens- are they going to try and defend every single thing? Are they going to depict every original SNS-moment that Esaka gave to SS and tweet “they wanna be SNS so bad 🤡” because that would be a full day’s worth of work I can tell you that. You can start with the cover. 

I do have to say that the adaptation is infinitely better story-wise than the novel. Prisoners for example had no reason to hate Sasuke and I already talked about this before. I said something along the lines of them needed to start a fight or something and they did. Also them needing to leave out the sob-story of the first prisoner and they did. All the critique I had in the first bit from the novel they fixed. So story-wise at least they agree with me that Esaka can’t write. 

At least that’s a win lmao. 

But you know what is most funny about it? Their ship gets a novel revolved around them.. or two actually even aside from the “official” marketing bs that already existed. A whole-ass Manga-adaptation and an official English translation for said novel on the way.. and what do they do? Enjoy it? Nah. They immediately run to Twitter to start make fun of SNS. 

Now can anyone tell me why that is 💀

Could it be that they feel like they need to prove something? Could it be that the need to make Naruto or SNS look inferior in that moment is more important? Why would that be?! 

😂.