#mushmellows

「  Drabble 」

                              ⚔  ▸▸ Sins are forever STAINED upon the soul.

            It ached and twisted, tugging at your life like playing a dirge tune of despair. It burns on the conscious, screaming at his mind like a screeching harpy. Never letting restful sleep to comfort weary body, as it continuously ravages him, in the form of nightmares. Faceless phantoms, angry eyes. Harsh and hurtful words flung as those fingers accusingly points at him. Rightfully they are; he was G U I LT Y as the blood stains on his hands. Lament and despair at the fate and destiny dealt with him, in misfortune cards. Hands that never could win.

                    But only embrace and endure…

                                  And endure… and endure… until it B R E A K S him.

               Into tiny little pieces of shattered glass. The fragility of the human heart, it aches in multiples of ways, it was suffocating to breathe. In the end. Lass Isolet always finds himself retreating to his wrong, face full of tears, hidden from his companion… in a silent cry. To end this misery bestow upon him. It was so  U N F A I R . Screaming at himself why must this happen. The cold, and rigid personality adopted to push away the hurt, emotions only made him weak and hinder his performance of redemption. Pangs of pain ravage his heart, and eyes continue to gaze at him with morbid scrutiny. Knowing too well what they thought of him.

                          「 “Traitor. Dirty little traitor. TRAITOR TO HUMANITY!”」

                                                                    ‘Murderer! Monster! Freak! Just die!’

               Cover his eyes, look away. Hide the shame. All futility in an attempt to keep up a brave bravado, to water through the hatred and anger. Atonement was what’s left to do. Asking for forgiveness is what he can do… can ask for. At the cost of his life… no matter how pathetic and worthless he is. Powerless and  W E A K, with strife to stand up… even if his strength is waning. Lass does try. And kept trying. But it’ll never cover the hurt. Tonight like any other night, a nightmarish hateful gaze of the very people he swore an oath to protect, the haunting of soulless innocents he’d slaughtered clawing at his dreams. Lass could never win. Only to hold himself, before falling apart at the seams. Hidden from others, in the dark of loneliness…

                  Tears seeping through the cracks of his fingers.

                                   It was useless to cry, such as the fragility of being a human.

                 Lass H A T E D it. Incapable of containing his emotions. So he let out the tears, the dam broke. Let out the hurt he’d held in for so long, suppressed it as far as he could. Pretend he was okay, playoff cool as possible. Until he broke again, weeping his eyes out until there are no more tears left. Men aren’t allowed to cry, a soldier has no business with emotions, but to fight and die for their cause. As long as no one sees… he’s A L L O W E D. If only… prying his face from the shadows, warm and soft hands, callous from gripping a weapon for so long. Pull up to stare into compassionate red eyes. The salvation to his pain, the soothing to his hurt. in a gentle voice, comforting him.

                     「 “Lass, you know you are allowed to cry.” 」

                                         Tender caress was the soothing aloe to his burn.

                 Can he be selfish? Please, pitiful begging, feeling like that small child once more… reaching out toward the fading shadows of his brother’s tailcoat… to help him from this place. Only to have hope shattered and C R U S H E D  without mercy. Lass hides his face into her neck, tears falling drenching her night pajamas with patches of wetness. He held her, loving the tender and care caresses being graced to his wounded soul. Let him be selfish… and hold her for the night, holding her for dear life. She is his world, his savior, his salvation… the guidance of the light, with the burning fire through the darkness.

             「  “I cried too, we’re only human.”」 He didn’t let her go for the night.

                                                  …it was then, he’d come to a startling conclusion.

                  Lass Isolet was in love with Elesis Sieghart. Unfortunately… it was impossible for them. There will be nothing will blossom from this feeling. It was D O O M E D before it could start. That was when he was fifteen. Since he’d joined the cause and Elesis Sieghart became his savior and light. The one person, he would die for… and follow through Hell and back. Lass would only admire afar, be beautiful in his dreams.. and cherished every moment he has with her. And memorized her warm smiles and burning ablaze passion… because she’ll never know, how he truly felt, it was best it remains this way. No matter how many decades later, he’ll still love her, she is… his world. Thus his feelings would be buried…

                                 ⚔  ▸▸ 「“…what?”」 Visibly startled.

             For a moment, for that short relapse moment, his mind was too slow to even comprehend what Elesis was saying. Not at first. Lass doesn’t get hurt easily, because… he was always good at PRETENDING to be okay. Push away those irrelevant feelings, nothing to do with his missions or duty to the Chase… business can’t get mixed up in personal and numb away any emotional output as much as he could. So why… why was Elesis saying this?

       「 “Hurt me? Who’s hurting me?”」 Surely she doesn’t mean…

                       「 “I’m…. not hurt.”」 He lied because he couldn’t look at her in the eyes.

         No, his eyes cast away, gaze upon anywhere, but the fiery depth of her eyes. The shimmering of life and passion, Elesis burns so brightly, he was so DULL in comparison to her brightness. She was so far away he couldn’t come to hope of reaching. Stained with blood, and dyed in red, whilst… she was pristine the true Heroine of this tale. He was… he was .. he shouldn’t even be here. He was just… a nameless butcher… fists clenched tightly, Lass turned and walked away… he didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t even want to THINK about it.

           「“Just focus on the mission Elesis, I’ll be fine.”」

「  One-shot; Birthdays  」

                      ⚔  ▸▸ Why would someone tend to have the audacity to celebrity such a meaningless thing? The horrid stacks of gifts piled above and on his bed only plays as a testament of his abhorred for the subject itself; his birthday. Why would anyone celebrate the birth date of an abomination and F R E A K S H O W ? It didn’t make any coherent logical sense. Yet, for the sake of his friends, plastered on his face an empty smile, forcing himself to take part in this parade and continue to pretend he’d cared. Taking the role in this play of fate perfectly with a pretentious performance, be the clown for fate and listen to her laughing in scrutiny at his lowly life and worthiness.

                                         After all… he’s merely a P U P P E T in her hands.

                   His entire life is a lie, a sham of belief he had a choice, manipulated and deceived by the wonderful sweet lie, the softness of the cotton wool to cover his eyes, and be embraced by the chilling cold reality. As everything came crashing down. Yet… yet for their sake, putting a wonderful performance to wear a mask of a S M I L I N G clown, in the avoidance they wouldn’t badger him. They wouldn’t get on his case. Comprehend fully well, this would only lengthen the distance between him and them, it was better this way. They didn’t need to know him. Because… whenever he dies, they wouldn’t need to mourn a monster.

                     So don’t celebrate the birth date of a nameless butcher.

                                                             … he won’t give them a reason to.

                   Make up an excuse. Bury himself in missions and work… busied himself they wouldn’t disturb his important work. Drive them, and discourage them from further doing such mundane thing, when he’d had little cares for it. The truth was… however very different from how his mind panned out. Lass held their gifts, with a warming heart. the newly Dual daggers from them only serve for him to hold dear and within his hands. The protective necklace they wished for him to be safe, he’d adorned it with pride around his neck. No matter how much he’d pushed them… Lass Isolet was H A P P Y to receive the warming and thoughtful gifts. It moved his heart and cracked the coldness he’d fashioned himself in form of the fortress of protection because…

                  … it means to them… he truly EX I S T E D and lived.

                                     A sincerity from the heart, Lass would tell them afterward.

    「 “Thank you. For cherishing me.”」 Because he never valued himself enough.