Jul 23
For the love of God. Please stop putting your dicks in the blood drive machines...
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For the love of God. Please stop putting your dicks in the blood drive machines...
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I think Easterman just cut another part of the budget to buy more of those "Shunga Paintings" he likes...
- @murkoff-intern
I hate to say this, but I'm not completely against the sex paintings. Listen, listen, I understand that they aren't the priority for our facility at the moment, but... Well, the other week he mentioned to me that he was interested in acquiring some, and I just happened to know a very good art dealer. And, listen, they are getting delivered in early June, and I promise that they will really bring the third floor conference room together.
I finally cleaned up all the glitter, Mr Perry... God, my hands are so sore...
- @murkoff-intern
Oh yeah, I forgot about that.. Thanks kid. I oughta take you out for lunch to.. “repay” the favor as they say. As for your hands.. I got some Midol in my bag if you need. It should help.
Mr. Scarfiotti, someone broke the coffee machine in the break room...
- @murkoff-intern
Again? I feel like I've been fixing the coffee machine at least once a week as of late... I'll come take a look before lunch.
//Random doodle I made for funsies since he actually has a design now lol
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Dear murkoff intern,
Im hearing things from the grapevine, (gossip spreads quick to you, when you're as devilishly handsome as me.) And I have to say, don't trust that weird hat guy. You know, the guy with the blue peeker. I dont like that blue eye. Makes him... I dunno, sorta pretty? Captivating. And there's one thing i have learned from life. DO NOT TRUST THE PRETTY MEN. (Except for me. Im an exception. I'm trustworthy. I can be trusted with sink liquor.) That pretty man will probably end up buying you chocolates then screwing your wife. (I learned this the hard way. Some guy named Dylan. Fucking dylan.) Then they run off together and end up way happier than she ever was with you. (These are not tear stains on the page. It's sweat. ...I swear!)
I wish only the best for you, sweet summer child.
With utmost caution,
Reagent 5318008.
I'm sorry to hear about you and Dylan um...
But me and Mr Perry are just coworkers who are a bit more friendly, that's all.
And I don't have a wife so I don't think I need to worry about that.
But thank you for the warning anyway, I suppose..
Um, should I be concerned with how many reports there are about reagents trying to fuck the Prime Assets?
Mr Perry, how is your knee doing? Do you need me to get anything for you? More meds? A coffee? Some food maybe?..
— @murkoff-intern
Knee's doing great, kid. No complaints here...
Actually, d'ya mind coming by the office? I don't need anything I just.. would like the company I suppose.
I—uhm.. You see, we recently got a shipment of whisky from Scotland.. if you'd like a drink.