#much sarcasm

“We need to stop meeting like this. It’s becoming a habit,” he said.

“Funny that. I could’ve sworn first aid was in your job description, or is ‘jackass’ your profession, instead?”

“Most of my patients don’t actively put themselves in danger when they’re given direct orders to stay put. Especially when they’re already injured.”

“Cool, yeah, I’ll remember that next time I ask your opinion on field work. And also, next time someone is trying to kill me I’ll be sure to keep you in mind. God forbid you ever actually have to do your job properly.”