#much ramble

@soldiermara

Chara had decided to take a day to herself. She had left Mia with Toriel for the day. Unfortunately that hadn’t turned out well. The day had gone fine at first. But eventually someone decided it would be a good idea to capture the ‘princess’ of monster kind. Currently she was chained up in what appeared to be a basement of some kind. “You guys are making a big mistake.” She said in anger. Though she was slightly confused since the last thing she remembered was being in the mall then smelling something weird. After that nothing.

Its late and I wont sleep before i tell this to someone so yall gotta listen

This post (idk how to make it pretty on mobile and im not finding out at midnight) suddenly made me realize why im sticking around in MHA.

Like I knew but I didnt know. I have probably skipped whole Arcs of that show, because I simply do not care about the kids who are the main cast. Dont come at me. I dont care. Aside from a few minor exceptions I care little to not at all about the kids. I used to activly dislike Izuku at the beginning and it just clicked in my brain why. Izuku, at the start, embodied that boundless hope that superhero society was perfect and like his whole life would suddenly be amazing if he got to be one of them. Which is pretty accuratly the picture that society painted. The superheores are amazing and they are something you aspire to be. Going into that show with Izuku as the protagonist id go so far as say they were flawless. Absolutly amazing. I didnt hate Izuku as much as I hated that.

I watch MHA for the villians. Shigaraki most precisely. I love that man with a burning passion that no hate comment could ever dream of tearing from my soul so if you read this dont even try. And I love him for the flaws. He is the flaw that hero society always had. Its what he always pointed out, what all of the league of Villians point at. This perfectly flawless system is just a light so bright it blinds you so you wont see the enermous shadow.

We spent so much time watching those young kids try to be part of that light and finally we are where I always wanted to be. We are exploring the darkness. I was thriving through they few "My Villian Academia" episodes and I have been ever since, not only because I feel my little broken band of misfits are gettinf more screentime, but also because the other characters have slowly started to aknowledge them as people. My personal point for it and also the point where my emotions towards Izuku drastically changed were all but one. It only took Izuku to see Tenko Shimura and aknowledge him as the scared and lost child he was and still is. Something along the lines of "I dont want to ignore that boy" was said in last weeks episode I believe. That sentiment has been in Izuku since the last season and it was literally the only thing I needed to go from "You're at most bearable to me" to "Thank you. I like you."

For so long these kids who grew up in this society and even the actual adult heroes as it seemed have painted this world in black and white. Were the good guys. They arent. And finally they too are actively questioning how true that really is, something I have been doing since first seing Tomura Shigaraki in action.

i just. i donno. I mean I don’t wanna sell myself short of a week and a half of work before I go back to school for the semester, but like, also, I dunno if i wanna take the chance???? I could PROBABLY talk to my supervisor about it, i guess. she seems pretty chill, and there’s a good chance that I will be let go, anyway, because they hired like more than 200 of us and, for reasons that i do not understand, they can only keep 70, and they already have a bunch of regular mailhandlers who work on the dock regularly and 2 other people i was hired with are really good at this, and it’s not, like, a secret that I have another job and am working like.... probably around ~70 hours a week. (the way i see it, it honestly doesn’t help anyone to keep that a secret. they need to know so that they can help me get off work in time to get some sleep on the days that I am working both jobs consecutively, and honestly could not care less about how that makes me look to the company In General, because it is dangerous for me to be on the dock on less than 5 hours of sleep.)

but also like other than “my supervisor, probably” i don’t really know who to talk to or where to go to get the paperwork i need to resign???????? 

and then there’s like, WHEN to do it. my 4 extra hours a week at GW start next week, which means i’mma be working mondays now too and like, i’ll survive, but i really miss doing art and stuff.

Is being ignorant so bad? I most often go with it because I don't want to stress myself over some crap (like I'm doing now but it got the best of me). Sometimes it feels like I'm a terrible person because I choose to ignore something that is seemingly very important and is suppose to teach you a lesson in life or on that line but then I see people argue (not comment or share opinions, ARGUE!) over it and it's like the simplest lesson that should be "it's like this and that, got it?" but turns into this mess because someone is bound to get offended for a good reason or not and you just kind of go "fuck this, I don't even care or want to take part in it".

And then when the same subject arrives at some point I honestly don't care and then it seems like I'm an ignorant bitch that doesn't want to learn about things that are important in today's society while part of me actually knows about it but choosing not to touch the subject because I am happier that way and I had no experience or need to go touch it.

Do I really need to know every detail of our society that's gone shit since forever? Because it would help me learn what "not to be or feel because it's wrong"? I have to know about it so I can change it somehow within my surroundings even tho everyone single person in this world has it's own perspective and way of experience? 

Again come to this point where I don't care... I am a person who can take pity (which isn't bad, it can kick other positive emotions that turn into positive actions) of others and help if needed but also caring mostly (if not only) what those who I love and care about are like or saying.

Everyone is going to have their opinion and view of things, everyone is going to judge it and point fingers if it's "wrong" or "right" according to their own... codex. Yeah. Everyone has their own codex they are going to follow based on personal experience.

According to everyone opinions there is no right of wrong in our society (because some will agree and some will disagree always), there is only morale we created that is with flaws (which can be both positive or negative) just like everything else!