About Alastor and his mental health and how Vivziepop and Sam Haft keep revealing tidbits about it (AND Amir once saying Alastor himself doesn’t fully understand his emotions and how they connect to his actions), how do you think he reacts when a mental issue does pop up? (Like a panic attack or disassociation?) It’s pretty clear he knows he’s “crazy” but does he just brush it off or is it something that bothers him greatly?
Alastor is in a very fun and sort of oxymoronic position of knowing that something is wrong with him in the "he kills and eats people" way, and he accepts being "crazy" in an abstract sense, but he'd deny and reject any actual diagnoses or mental health support.
Like. These are all feelings alastor holds about his brain simultaneously
He knows theres something up. He does not want to hear that other people have similar experiences enough for them to be named. That would mean he either isnt as uniquely superior as he thought (aspd), or would try to pin a weakness on him (adhd). Like. Sorry man. You arent ascending to godhood. You just have a personality disorder.
He's such an odd little critter. As for more severe flarings of things, he loathes being scared. He wants to be the most poweful so he doesnt have to worry about his safety. He wants to have the thrill of the danger with none of the actual risk, to know that he can go out and chase adrenaline if he wants but still come out okay no matter what. I have no canon backing for this but my idea for what he hates about his demonic form is that now he has a flight instict that he never had when he was alive. It was always fight and in rare cases fawn. Now he has this immediate desire to run whenever something startling happens that he has to strangle and he hates it. He loves himself a lot (his valentines card to himself made me so happy) but a panic attack would push him and push him hard. It especially depends on where and when it happens, if he's around people or alone, what triggered it, etc. But oh he would hate the whole experience so severely. Might get violent in order to put himself back in control.
He doesnt understand what's happening when he's hyperfixating and tries his best not to let on about it, lest he come off as an overbearing chatterbox. (the internalized ableism in this man. It is so bad) Times of hyperfixations flaring are really the one time where he most feels something odd is happening, but he also assumes that it happens to everyone about their passions. And they dont discuss it, so he won't either. Ah, he's going into a frenzy again. Best to withdraw until it passes and he can be more pleasant company again (everyone notices how much more time he's spending in his tower than usual, and how many more broadcasts are coming out on top of the regular schedule)
