Ok, so like, today, or like I mean yesterday, I had my two “midterms” right? (I think I definitely failed my chem quiz cuhs I didn’t like, put enough effort into it while taking the test or bother studying for it for the weekend, cuhs I was putting more of my energy and “cares” into my bio midterm which I think I did pretty decent on….. But ughhh I should have definitely spent my weekend more wisely and studied instead of like, chilling & playing & resting… WTF ugh) Anyways and then I stupidly ordered an expresso shot or actually, I think the girl stupidly took my order wrong cuhs I wanted an expresso …. Or wait idk maybe I don’t know the difference… Ok anyways yah & then I also got a free order of coffee cuhs my supervisor hooked it up, and then I mixed the two substances and drank it and I’ve been awake since 9am from yesterday.. Lol k

But yeah. Holy shit, high key, idk where the hell my motivation from last week went……… Today was a pretty damn unproductive day………. I barely got shit done. Fuqqq. LOL

But I’ve been like catching up with my mental health / schedule planning & relaxation via researching / googling / surfin-da-web / YouTubing / re-sparking my hobbies / blasting & singing music all day

It’s definitely hella nice having no roommates cuhs I can have the freedom to just blast music and sing my heart out and be naked and lazy af and not be mindful of sprawling all my stuff out or cleaning up after myself hehe… but I definitely don’t have the accountability to stay on top of my game & be like motivated to “study” or appear to be a good student, namsayin??? & I mean I can always go to the freaking libs but I kinda got sick of that place…. & yah…. Too far….. Today I didn’t go to my CLAS for chem cuhs I was not in the mood to learn new material after expending so much brain energy on my two exams….. I had to nearly drag my ass out of bed to go to biomentors today…. Hehe.. But I really really enjoy biomentors cuhs I can talk to my peers about nerdy stuff & feel smart ha ha ha ha & stay motivated to keep up/know what’s going on & on top of da game……. (& plus there’s this kinda cute guy who’s a mentor HAHAHEHEHHE jk I’m trying to high key calm it down with my hormones tho, k??)

But yah… High key, not having people around in the apt is like, not a good thing…… Cuhs by nature I am dependent & needy for the presence of people ha ha ha But yah, I know that God wants it to be like this tho cuhs like, I need to grow to be by myself and shiet…. I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T do u know what I mean?????? & honestly it’s been pretty damn good being in solitude (not really) even tho it’s literally been one day LOOOL. It’s quite perspective broadening & makes me realize shit about myself & others….. One other thing that has been a struggle was like trying to spend time with God……. I was like literally trying to like get myself in the mood to read the bible & put my Christian music on & I mean I was worshiping & singing but it came to mind that maybe sometimes I perhaps sing cuhs I like to sing, instead of it being to and for God … But yah I mean, yes, overall it was worship and intimacy with God haha.. But yeah…………………………. I definitely NEED to learn to having intimacy with God. When it came to reading the word, I was just like “I don’t want to put anything into my brain RN” so I just prayed & half-heartedly talked to God instead heh

Wow there are so so many things to pray for!!!!!!! So many people….!! Ahhh!! Gotta start making a list, checking it twice yaaaaaaaaaa

Yeappppppppppppp

Summer 2014, this is going to be lots of growth & insightful thinking going on for me. This…. Solitude, is definitely something I need. Not particularly good or horrible . But yah… May things happen the way it should kk

Wao the sun rose already…. Ps random fact I love creative freelance writing, and shiz but I fucking hate writing academic essays bc of the facking standards and order we have to put it in ………….. Lol .. Wait did I ever tell you (ok idk who you are but I’m just going to direct this to whoever is reading but probably doesn’t really care hahaha) that like my freaking awesome TA from my religious studies class I took in spring quarter PASSED ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Sorry for my horrible grammAr to all you grammar nazis) I originally had like, a NP for “not passing” for missing all the freaking deadlines LOL, and shiet…….. BUT I CHECKED MY TRANSCRIPT TODAY & IT WAS A FAT P (after I emailed him) PTL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :’))))))))))))) this is like something that is definitely supposed to be celebrated for cuhs like that means I’m freaking DONE with my writing requirements :’) ps I’m so fucking dumb omg like, the entire time, I had been doing a progress run check on Bachelor of Arts and not bachelor of science… So I was so close to taking more damn GEs LOL…… But finally I am getting my shit kinda together :’) teheh ^__^

Anyways thank you to those who took their time to read my long ass post

Xoxo, the most basic bitch you’ll ever meet ^__^ (Lol maybe I am being too hard on myself but iiwii)