#mrfell

1,748 words into a college au ac. it was supposed to have a sad ending but now im not sure

I CAN DO SO MUCH WORSE, JUST WAIT, JUST WAIT

"YEAH. yeah. angst is far superior to ANy fluff tbh"- you in my fucking tag

it is precalculus and i was given a simple fucking task and i took up a goal way too advanced for me and ended up trying it anyways and having to learn all this untaught info online in about the span of 1 hour and here i am, reeling and also kind of heaving because Math is a Nasty

hehehehehe >:P

no I did not think of it for reasons I have stated, because I have few faculties that are available to me when I am arthritically creaking through the stacks. I apologize for being aggressive. I personally felt implicated on the basis of faulty morals or insufficient devotion to a cause I cannot always contribute to because I have difficulties using my body and my mind. There are five hundred notes on a pic of something Where all I knew was that it was by a 14 year old girl. I posted t bc I didn’t know who she was and I wanted to share some words that struck a chord with me. it is suggested that I could then have googled mct and racism, but in a case where the only accessible computer wasn’t available to me because I was working and focusing my energies on something else I don’t think it was possible. Furthermore I felt morally scolded for not having accessed information it would have been difficult for me to access for a variety of reasons my disability among them. Additionally I record an exhortative mrssage from an anonymous visitor about eugenics, one which seemed to scold me for my part in racism and ableism, neither of which I deny. I fully accept that as a white person I am going to e complicit in racism. The thing is I really resent being told that I am negligent in my duties to eliminate ableism seeing as I am disabled. I also resent being told it’s possible I’ve internalized t, because of course I have. )this was from another response to one of your posts) being told this feels infantilizing and frankly exploitative. there are a lot of things that prevent me from doing something like a simple google search, my cognitive abilities and hands locking up and lack of computer among them; none of those things excuse bigotry but scolding someone bc thy aren’t able to do something right away bc of their lack of ability is extremely hurtful. I would much rather hear something collaborative and informative like “you didn’t appear to know x y and z which I think is important to note” rather than implicating me and another party (nextian) in a history of oppression that directly affects us, something you could easily have known on viewing our blogs. I hope this makes my personal feelings clearer and I appologiZe for extensive errors, again because y body and mind are not always capable of performing rote and simple actions. Autocorrect piked up a lot of work on this one

i didnt see this omg thank you v///w///v ur so nice aw