#mrdokkaebi

i found songs that you used to listen to, played them on the radio every morning on my way to work, every time i am heading home. when i glanced at the traffic lights i wished for red to stop me longer. so that i can listen to the songs again.

got home. i did my dishes quietly in the kitchen, humming your songs in my head, letting out a huge sigh.

then the songs got hummed again.

then i placed the dishes to dry and continued humming your song. again.

i sat down quietly and switched the tv, saw your face again in that handsome actor. shook my head and heaved a big sigh.

i can’t remember how i got to this point. i thought i was recovering but i am not.

still thinking of you but i have got no numbers to dial and no one to speak to.

i…

i don’t think i’ll ever recover…

when you left, i bade goodbye with a smile but a very heavy heart. i know there will be no regrets as i have given all my efforts and energy into loving you, trusting you.

while getting to know you and to love you, i believe that you have a big heart that you don’t know of. loving you is easy.

but having you to love me is another long and sad story.

if it is just one sided love, it was a sincere one. people may call me foolish but i did not ask anything in return. not even love.

as you walked away and disappeared in the crowds, my heart prays that you will be even happier than when we were together. that you will love the other person more than she loves you.

then only then, will you understand how sad the goodbye was for me.

know that you are the most beautiful person in my memories. one who appears when i am happy, and even when i am sad, or while i am humming songs in my head, or when i look at the plate of food you love so much, or when you leave the bed messy every morning, or when i pick up your worn shirt from the floor, wandering how hard you have worked that day…

maybe you left, maybe i let you go even so, maybe it has been written that i am not for you anymore…

how to recover from this sad fate? live like there is no past behind me.

no.