#movetofusion

Have you ever been obsessed with something? I surely have been. In 6th grade, I was obsessed with eating one "Whatchamacallit" candy bar every single day. In 7th grade, I was obsessed with collecting as many Michael Jordan and Magic Johnson sports cards as financially possible. In 8th grade, I was obsessed with winning Sega Genesis basketball video games.

My Biggest Obsession Growing Up

My biggest obsession growing up, however, was to become the best basketball player that I could be.  In grade school, I merely played basketball for fun and I was fortunate to be a pretty good player. Then I got to high school, and suddenly I blended right in with just about everyone else on the team. I fit in and played well, but I really didn't stand out. As a freshman, I scored about 4 points per game and we maybe won 11 or 12 games. The low scoring and the losses really bothered me. During that entire season, I often asked myself, "How did I go from being a pretty good player to feeling so average, so quickly?" Something had to change.

So, my obsession began.  During the next 3 years, I spent 3-4 hours per day in the gym, after school.  Being totally obsessed, I would double those hours on weekends and during summer vacation. I was so obsessed that I missed homecoming one year to spend the extra time working on my basketball skills. I was so obsessed that during a one-week fishing trip to Canada, I brought a basketball along and dribbled it, on the only rock-solid surface within walking distance, for 45 minutes each day.  Even well-intentioned people often told me that I had no life.  I obsessed about becoming a better basketball player and it paid off with results.  As a senior in high school, I averaged over 18 points per game, my team won 25 games, and our winning team competed in the state tournament.

"How Do You Try To Be Your Best, Without Allowing The Pursuit Of Excellence To Become Your IDOL?"

A couple of weeks ago, Coach Jack Bennett... an incredible mentor of mine... head basketball coach of the UW-Stevens Point's back-to-back national championship teams, national coach of the year, and an even better person... provoked some deep thought for me when he asked me a powerful question. He asked me,

Click to Tweet: "How do you try to be your best, without allowing the pursuit of excellence to become your IDOL?" Jack Bennett #movetogrow #movetobeteams

An "idol" is a person or thing that is greatly admired, loved, or revered. When I received his email, I dropped everything that I was doing to read it over and over and over again.

Is My Book Becoming My Idol?

After a day had passed, I was a little concerned that I was allowing the pursuit of the book that I’ve been writing to become my idol. After two days, I did a 180° turnaround and began to think that writing my book was simply a hobby. After three days, I told myself that I'm dedicated, but not exactly obsessed. After four days, I was terribly confused.

Am I Dedicated Or Obsessed?

To clarify some things in my mind, I did some research on the words "dedicated" and "obsessed." Being dedicated is staying devoted to a task or purpose.... dedication is looked at positively. Being obsessed is filling the mind continually, intrusively, and to a troubling extent... obsession is looked at negatively.

But is obsession really negative? From my experiences, there are good and bad elements of obsession. Obsession can be bad when you have a painful addiction, are never satisfied, try to be the best at everything, rarely recover, and neglect other important things in your life. Obsession can be good when you focus on your passions, try to be the best version of you, strive to reach your potential, enjoy every minute of your routine, celebrate your wins, and make regular progress.

Today, I wouldn't be compensated for my passion if I didn't have the drive, determination, resilience, and perseverance to become a better leader, speaker, and writer. So the question still remains... am I obsessed...or just really dedicated?

The Light Bulb Moment

The light bulb went on for me when I re-read Coach Bennett's question yet again. His question starts with the words "how do you..." instead of "can you..."  This implies that you absolutely can be your best without allowing the pursuit of excellence to become your idol. It is not an all or nothing proposition.  Realizing this felt like I had removed a ton of bricks from my back. Pursuing excellence in a healthy and productive way is possible!  There are constructive and beneficial ways to pursue your dreams. [Perhaps the answer lies in what type of person you are, and how you get things accomplished.]

It takes a tremendous amount of dedication to be your best. I wouldn't be a few months away from a completed manuscript without being a little bit obsessed, as well as being dedicated to the process.  Truth be told, waking up at 4:45am every single morning is probably best described as an obsession.  Over the last couple of years however, I've tried to make my obsession work for me, not against me. I'm making sure that my obsession doesn’t control me.  I have control over my "bookends," which are the times between my early wake-up time and the girls getting up, and then after they go to bed at 8:15pm. Doing this allows me to still be great at my day job, spend quality time with my family, and exercise daily... all the while maintaining my pursuit of excellence.

So can you be the best without being a little obsessed? Not really. But can you try to be your best, without allowing the pursuit of excellence to become your idol? Most definitely.

Move You, Move Others

Does your obsession benefit only you, or can you help others along the way?

Let's go back to my early basketball obsession. My obsession with practicing 3-4 hours per day inspired a number of my other teammates to do the same.  I'm hoping that my obsession with getting up early to work on my own endeavors will inspire others to seek personal growth at the highest possible level.

According to football legend Vince Lombardi, "Individual commitment to a group effort - that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work."

In high school, our most dedicated players helped each other to become the best team possible. During Coach Bennett's national championships, his dedication to pouring himself into his players and coaches on and off the court fueled their runs.

Click to Tweet: If you move yourself to pursue excellence, you'll move others to do the same. @derekdeprey #movetogrow #movetodevelopothers

ACTION: Reflect on the following life-changing question: How do you try to be your best, without allowing the pursuit of excellence to become your IDOL? Write down the names of 3-5 of your mentors who share similar passions or obsessions. Then, ask each of them "the question" via phone, email, face-to-face, or text. The result... You, and your mentors, will walk away more inspired to make a difference and pursue excellence.

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If you’re anything like me, your to-do list will always be too long. You have a bunch of never-ending projects to complete both at home and at work… the ones you’ll take care of when you’re “less busy.”  Some of your projects are seemingly huge, while others are relatively small.  In this post, I’m going to share my secret to actually accomplishing the monster projects.

What’s my secret?

Before I tell you about my secret, it’s important to go back to a small section of my post entitled “120-Minute YOUzone”  from last week.  Mark Twain once said, “If you eat a frog first thing in the morning that will probably be the worst thing you do all day.”  I have embraced Twain’s notion to some extent… although I did rename the concept “Eat the banana.”  What do I mean by this? Conquer the biggest project that epitomizes your  passions so that you’ll actually want to do it… i.e., eat the banana, not the frog.  Be someone who likes to wake up for a good reason, for something you feel passionate about, rather than waking only to face the mundane tasks that you’ve been dreading.

How do I know which banana to eat?

I’m probably the pickiest person in the world when it comes to eating produce. When I eat a banana, I prefer it to be yellow, with a little bit of green and absolutely no brown spots. Very few bananas will meet my specific criteria.

Just like there are very few bananas that are to my liking, there are very few projects that I care to spend my discretionary time doing.  To know if it’s something that you want to pour your life into, ask yourself the following 3 questions, which will help you keep the end in mind.

What projects have the potentiality of giving you 10 times return on your time? I call these projects “10Xers”.  This is a question of “results.”

What are you putting off that’s bothering you?  Spend some time examining your motivation.  Click on my previous post for more detailed information about this question.

What’s your reason for waking up?  Remember to always address your passions.  Click on my previous post for more detailed information about this question.

For me, 10Xers are “should-do’s” vs. “must-do’s — or, non-urgent, but important things.

How do you actually get 10Xers done?

Once you ask yourself the 3 questions, you should have a pretty good idea of what your 10Xers are.  Here are my 5 steps to help you actually achieve what you desire.

List Your 10Xers. My current 10Xers include the book I am writing,  my weekly blog posts, internal learning & development courses at the gym, my next keynote speech, final papers that I grade for the leadership class that I teach, and hiring of new sales representatives at the gym. While this list is always changing, it is always going to reflect the observations seen in the 3 questions above, to ensure that the items are 10Xers. Before moving on to the next item, ask yourself, “Is there anything on my list that I can delete?”  You want this list to be as lean as possible. For example, I thought about adding another social media platform to my day-to-day routine, but decided that it just wasn’t necessary right now.

Prioritize Your 10Xers. Once you have a list that you’re happy with, prioritize your 10Xers. Put them in order from most important to least important. If you are struggling to do this, ask yourself these questions for each 10Xer. Is the 10Xer time sensitive? What 10Xer largely impacts you, your family, your team or your organization? What are your priorities?

Add Specific Tasks Under Your Top Three 10Xers. Once you have deemed something a 10Xer, you have a lot of work ahead of you. Unfortunately, I usually underestimate the time needed to accomplish one.  To help me manage time, I chart the course for my top three 10Xers by breaking down the tasks that I need to complete under each 10Xer.

Schedule Your Top Three 10Xers with Tasks. Now that I’ve broken down the tasks for each 10Xer, I can schedule my time. My rule of thumb is to always schedule double the time that I usually think I would need, to ensure that I complete the project and don’t start my day in disappointment.

Be Not Afraid. Just start! Every day, eat the banana… or tackle your top 10Xer.  My sweet spot is 55 minutes because I can maintain energy and avoid burnout.  Best of all, I leave wanting more and then start the next day with momentum.

What will the results be?

I don’t know for sure what your results will be.  I would be willing to bet, however, that  you will be happier and healthier.  Your life will be full, and you will feel more accomplished.

For me, I’m happier and healthier.   I have accidentally created a side speaking and training business, as a result of being focused for 55 minutes per day for 5 straight years, including weekends.

How would you feel if you knocked out a few of your 10Xers in the next couple years?

ACTION: Eat the banana, not the frog. List only your 10Xers that you’re passionate about. Then, prioritize your 10Xers in the order that you want or need to accomplish them. Add specific tasks under your top 10Xer. Finally, eat the banana by scheduling 55-minutes per day, including weekends, to achieve what you desire.

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No matter what time you go to bed or when you wake up, you have no control over what your bed head looks like once you’re awake, how many pillow lines you have on your face, how puffy your eyes are or how many times your ankles and knees crack as you get up. You do, however, have a choice as to what time  you will arise. If you’re an early bird, you might be annoyingly happy and ready to rock and roll at 4am. If you’re a night owl, you might start at 9am every day.  No matter what your start time is, you have another choice … start your day on fire, or start it with regret.

Last week, I asked you, “What Is Your Reason To Get Up?” In short, you’re not going to get up and be productive if you don’t have any reason to do so. In this post, I’m going to assume that you have found your reason to rise and shine.

My 120-Minute “YOUzone” Itinerary

I call my 120-Minute morning routine the “YOUzone”. During this time, it’s all about YOU. For 120 minutes every day, you don’t schedule team meetings, make phone calls, hit the snooze button, watch TV or browse the internet. You do wake up in charge of and ready to change your world.  Before reading my itinerary, please realize that this is my way to start the day,  but definitely not the “only” way. My goal is for you to ultimately find “your” way.

4:45am — Wake Up

At 4:45am, I wake up. As soon as I do, I get dressed, brush my teeth and pound 16 ounces of water.

4:50am — Dynamic Stretching

At 4:50am, I perform dynamic or active stretches for 20 minutes. This helps me to increase blood flow, range of motion, awareness of joint position and athletic performance. What I love about dynamic stretching is that my heart rate starts to pump a little bit, in addition to the stretching benefits.

5:10am — Drive to Coffee Shop & Set Up

At 5:10am, I head to a coffee shop … preferably one with a fire place. For me, environment is key. I love the white noise and people hard at work buzzing around me at coffee shops. Nobody can stop me with my laptop, wifi, 80’s/90’s Pandora mix and medium roast cup of java.

5:20am — 10 Quick Tasks List

At 5:20am, I build some momentum with my 10 quick tasks list. In other words, the crossing off of some simple items gets me motivated for a big project. Here are some of my quick tasks… devotion/prayer/thinking, check important emails, jot down the blog ideas, log my daily workout for health insurance points (who doesn’t want free Amazon gift cards?), send my Happy Birthday wishes on Facebook, endorse some people on LinkedIn, write a hand-written note, read a couple self-help articles and quotes, post the self-help article or quote with the most value, and then write my agenda for the next day.

5:50am — Eat the Banana

At 5:50am, I “eat the banana.” This is goal getting, not goal setting.

Back in the day, Mark Twain once said, “If you eat a frog first thing in the morning that will probably be the worst thing you do all day”. I’ve adopted this concept to some extent; however, I call it “eat the banana”. What do I mean by this? Knock out the biggest project that aligns with your reason or passions so that you’ll actually want to do it … most people would rather eat a banana than a frog … most people will wake up for a good reason, not for something that they’ll dread.

How do I know what banana to eat? Well, I keep a monthly 10Xer list to help keep me on track. A 10Xer is a goal that I believe has the ability to give my 10 times return. Next week, I’ll write a separate post on “eat the banana”.

6:45am — Drive Back Home & Spend Time With Family

At 6:45am, I head back home on fire! You know that feeling that you have after a workout … the endorphin’s … I have that same feeling after my 120-minute YOUzone. Do I always get everything done that I had planned to do? No. In fact, I underestimate the 120 minutes more often than not.

After I get home, I eat a quick breakfast, get ready for work, drive Ellie and Mia to school and then spend my day with members and staff at the Wisconsin Athletic Club.

Does The YOUzone Have To Be In The Morning?

Your YOUzone doesn’t have to be in the morning. It should, however, be consistent. For example, I lead an athletic club and we have a number of fitness professionals who train clients all morning to generate income. Their YOUzone could be in the middle of the afternoon when the club schedule is slower.

Do I Ever Cancel My YOUzone?

On rare occasions, I do. Let me share a couple examples.

First, when my day is booked solid with a bunch of sit-down meetings, I’ll skip my YOUzone. When that’s the case, I replace it with a workout.

Second, if I have a planned evening engagement, I’ll stay home in the morning to spend a little bit of extra time with my family.

Am I Too Structured?

Every week, I hear…”Derek, you’re crazy”… “You’re over the top!”… “Anyone who gets up at 4:45am to get everything done is insane” and “You’re way too structured!”

Am I too structured? Maybe I am. But here is what I know.  Being structured with good habits is better than lacking structure with bad habits. In other words, being disciplined works if you are disciplined in the right areas. If you consistently perform a YOUzone for 90 days, you’ll look back and wonder how you ever lived without it.

ACTION: Make the YOUzone a part of your weekly routine. To gain momentum, start slow. Look at your calendar for next week and schedule two 30-minute YOUzone’s. Then, add more days and times as you grow and see positive results in your life.

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Recently a team member at the Wisconsin Athletic Club asked me to coach her. [For the sake of this article, we’ll call her Ms. Potential.] Without hesitation, I said, “You bet!” because I knew the knowledge, skills and ability that Ms. Potential possessed.

During our first session, Ms. Potential kept saying, “There is something more inside me … something much, much bigger … I just need to get it out of me and do it.” After listening to her say this over and over again, I finally responded to the question by asking a question — “What are you putting off that’s bothering you?”

Click to Tweet: To develop others, try to answer each question with a question. @derekdeprey #movetodevelopothers #leadership

Ms. Potential wrote down my question. After a couple of minutes, she asked, “Derek, could I have some extra time to ponder? I’m not sure.” “Definitely,” I responded. “Self-reflective questions require some honest introspection.”

The following week, Ms. Potential sent me a message: “Derek, your question, ‘What am I putting off that’s bothering me?’ has been incredibly thought provoking! It really made me face what I have been avoiding (maybe dreading in a small way?), yet I KNOW once I address it … it will be life changing. It asks me to leave my comfort zone and feel uncomfortable for awhile, knowing  it will be a lot of hard work. Similar to the feeling of jumping into a pool, I know I will be so happy I did, but those seconds of hesitation right before are so strong and powerful trying to keep me comfy and warm. This question is great because it will give me the push that I need to move forward.”

Think about your life. What are you putting off that’s bothering you?

Click to Tweet: What are you putting off that’s bothering you? When you answer it, block time to do it. @derekdeprey #movetogrow

For me, I’ve been asking myself this question for years, especially at the beginning of a new year. If you are 100% brutally honest with your answer to this question and diligent in following through with an action plan, you will see how powerful the results can be…

In 2008, I was putting off personal development. Now, personal development is a part of my life every day.

In 2009, I was putting off becoming a better speaker. Today, I’m a professional speaker.

In 2010, I was putting my family second, ahead of developing my career. I now try to blend my personal values at work and at home.

In 2011, I was putting off stretching, but today I stretch 20 minutes per day.

In 2012, I was putting off early wake-ups. Now, I wake up and get started at 4:45am every day.

In 2013, I was putting off getting to church, but now I try to attend on a weekly basis.

In 2014, I was putting off blogging weekly, but now I post a blog every Wednesday.

In 2015, I was putting off completing my book, but I recently signed with a publisher that guarantees my book’s completion in October.

In 2016, I had already put off studying for my leadership coaching certification. Today, I decided to work on it every day in the month of March, from 5-7am, until I was finished with it.

ACTION: Now, it’s your turn. Put down your phone, rip off a blank sheet of paper and grab a pen. At the top of the sheet, write the question, “What am I putting off that’s bothering me?” Next, just write down and brain dump everything that comes to mind. Then, reflect on what you have written and circle the ONE THING that you are putting off that is really bothering you. Finally, starting today, block off regular time in your calendar to get started on what is most important to you.

Stay tuned, next week I delve deeper into the three impact questions that I ask myself every January.

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