#mothwingswritings

You scoffed at his feigned nonchalance, “Well you obviously seem to think it is, seeing as you’re practically beaming while you tell us about it!” You pointed to your other brother, who sat on your opposite side, “Baki and I could barely get a word in edgewise with how on and on you went about the ‘greatness’ of it all.”

“Calm down (Name),” Baki spoke up beside you, “it’s pretty normal for a son to be happy when his father commends him, right?”

Your head snapped to the side, confusion engulfing your features as you watched the young man impishly shrug. “I think he’s right, it’s really not THAT huge of a deal. In fact, with how things have been going, we’ve even tossed around the idea of maybe making a monthly family dinner night a thing.”

Your frown deepened, “…Is this some kind of joke?

You could hear your heart pounding in your head, the conversation making your blood pressure rise by the second. It was already troubling enough that Baki had gone through such trials and tribulations seeking acceptance and a modicum of a ‘fatherly’ bond from Yujiro, but now Jack also seemed to be falling under the same mind boggling spell. It sickened you knowing the people you cared so deeply for would go to the lengths that your brothers had, just for a little recognition from a man who was at best a villain in your shared lives.

And on top of that, now they seemed to want to play house with him and have a monthly family meet up? Were their cruel childhoods at Yujiros hands so easy to forgive? Were the atrocities he committed so recently against you, their sister, so easy to forget?

When you received no response from the two you continued, “You cannot be serious. Please help me understand why you agreed to have dinner at all with that man, let alone why you are speaking so positively about some cheap compliments he gave you? And now you bring up some bullshit plans for ‘family time’ in the future? Maybe that bastard had a hand in your creation but you don’t owe him anything!”

Your words struck accord with Jack, his body visibly tensing as he gave a terse reply. “I wouldn’t expect you to understand (Name), and you don’t really seem eager to listen to reasoning. Trying to explain it further would be a waste of time.”

Indignation flared within you, “Well than why don’t you try and explain it to me in a way even an idiot can understand, since that’s what you seem to think I am anyway?”

“I never said that,” he growled, shooting you a look that warned you to cool down or face the consequences, “I’m just saying you are different from us. You’re a Hanma in name only, not by blood. You may be our family (Name), but you will always be cut from a different cloth than us. It’s impossible for you to understand”

Before you could retort Baki cut in, “What he means to say is that having a different birth father vastly changes our experiences. It makes it difficult to accurately articulate this bond to you, no matter how close we are. I know it seems weird, foolish even, but honestly it’s truly just-“

“Indescribable.” Jack finished, sharing a look between his half-brother that conveyed secrets you knew would never be privy to you.

A deep ache blossomed in your chest, spreading steadily through your limbs like a viscous molasses, heavy and thick as it consumed you. Your last line of defense was crumbling. The only support system that stood a chance against the crashing waves that were Yujiro Hanma was steadily being chipped away. Your brothers had always been a steadfast wall that protected you from the tempest, but even the thickest stone eventually yields to the elements. What was once so sturdy was now being ripped apart like weak clay, piece after piece plunging into the depths of that turbulent sea, becoming one with it.

Overcome by an intense loneliness, the loss of them was becoming unbearable to witness. Realization set in. It didn’t matter how much you loved them or how much time you spent with them, just as you may never truly get them, they would never truly get you. They could never know exactly how frustrating it felt to feel so helpless. It didn’t matter how fit or strong or smart you were, it didn’t matter how hard you pushed yourself,  how far you went to protect yourself, or how many steps you took to stay ahead of danger. Countless hours, blood, sweat, and tears could be poured into making yourself stronger, you could become the most capable person on the planet earth, and none of it would matter in the face of Yujiro Hanma. Any effort you made against him could and would be squashed in an instant, his mere presence a belittlement of your entire existence. It was enough to drive you insane.  

But unlike your brothers, you had no one else to turn to. No other sister, brother, or cousin that could understand your most painful secrets.

You were alone.

“Please, just listen to me,” your voice wavered. The confrontation was hard, but you did it with as much resolve as you could muster, “Maybe I won’t ever really know what you feel towards Yujiro and that’s fine, because frankly I don’t know that I want to. But I would hope that you would have more self-respect for yourselves than to go crawling up to that monster for any form of validation.”

You took a shaky breath, fighting back tears as you continued, “Yujiro has spent most of your lives disparaging, abusing, and ignoring you. He hurt and killed our mothers, warped our own relationships with the women who birthed us. He has done irredeemable and irreparable things that have altered us in ways we can’t reverse. You both have beaten and broken yourselves over and over again just for the chance to combat him, seeking worth only in your ability to stand toe to toe with him, lessening your worth because of HIM! And for what? A dinner every now and again, some words of affirmation?”

Tears cut across your cheeks, blurring the clear view you had of the siblings. “I’m so sick of it. I’m so sick of watching you relentlessly push yourselves past your limits day after day, year after year, as you chase after a man who isn’t even worthy of your time, let alone your respect or love! He doesn’t deserve the time of day, I don’t care if he’s the strongest man in the world or not! Anyone who acts the way and treats people the way he does isn’t anyone worthy of anything in my books! I can’t… I can’t be the only one who sees Yujiro for what he is.”

You slumped forward, squeezing your eyes shut.

“I’ve already lost so much to him… I can’t lose you two, too. If you won’t listen to me for your own sakes, then do it for mine. Please, just forget about Yujiro. Move on so I can move on with you.”

Grief, anger, and love crashed about your chest violently. Hiding your face in your hands, you fully broke down. Even as you made your plea, you were well aware it would most likely fall on deaf ears. The time for mourning had come, it was truly inescapable now.

None of you would ever truly be free of the maddening experience of being trapped in Yujiro Hanma’s web.

But instead of your outburst being met with chide commentary, you instead felt thick arms being wrapped around you, pulling you snuggly against a broad chest. You hiccupped against said chest, your hands clutching to the fabric of Baki’s shirt as he cradled the back of your head with his thick hand, rocking you gently back and forth.

“I’m sorry, (Name).”

For a moment, you paused. Ensnared by his soothing touch and gentle words, relief overcame you, both welcome and unexpected. Maybe you had been silly all along, thinking your brothers were too far gone to care about your opinions and feelings. They hadn’t forgotten the ills committed against them, the horrors you had lived through yourself. Baki had listened to your earnest plea and now he was coming to reassure you it would all be OK, that they were still on your side, just as they had always been.

It may have taken a break down, but you got through to him. Now, you could all work on moving forward on a new path, one without Yujiro, and-

“I think maybe you just need more time to get used to this.”

Breath fled your lungs, his words hitting you like a slap in the face. Spoken in the same sweet, mild tone, his manner now seemed far more condescending than encouraging.

“Get used to it?” Your voice cracked, his hold on you feeling more constricting than it did seconds prior.

“You’re our sister, we love you,” he squeezed tighter, “but we’re Hanma’s (Name). I know Yujiro isn’t dad of the year, and he’s definitely got some questionable quirks about him, but he’s our father and that’s how it will always be.” He ruffled your hair, “I’m sure given some more time we can work out all the kinks and come to a resolution. When that happens, we’ll all share a really nice family meal together to celebrate, home cooked of course!”

“True,” Jack chimed in, “Despite how he may sometimes act, I think father would really like for you to join us someday, (Name). You should even cook something for it, he’ll be pleased to see what a good little chef you have become.”

Bile rose in your throat, pin pricks of black dotting your vision as you struggled to breath. The world was spinning and everyone but you had gone mad.

With all the strength within you, you pushed yourself away from Baki, creating a palpable distance between you and the man you once explicitly trusted. There was a brief flash of surprise in his eyes at your minor burst of strength, but that look was quickly replaced with one more akin to disappointment.

‘Why can’t you just give it a rest?’ His expression begged, ‘You’re making this bigger than it needs to be.’

“Fuck you,” you seethed, “Fuck all of you. If that’s your choice, fine, but if he’s going to be in your lives then I am out.”

Unable to articulate yourself further you turned on your heel, fleeing towards the exit. You heard a chair scoot behind you, Jacks commanding voice following shortly after. Your hand rested on the doorknob, but you pivoted yourself just enough to acknowledge that you had heard him. Though your body was eager to run, your heart won out in the end. You would give one final chance to hear him out.

“Father didn’t just give me empty kudos. He truly recognized my strength and was sincerely awarding me for how much I have grown. But that’s not all,” his voice grew a bit softer as he continued “He also praised me for taking such good care of you. He asked about you with genuine interest (Name), wanted to know how you were fairing, what you had been up to, if you were well. If you gave him the chance-”

Lawrence🌿

·         Lawrence is the exact opposite of Ren when it comes to contact. Though he may fall asleep with you in his arms (or vice versa), he very quickly grows uncomfortable with the prolonged contact, his body used to being the sole person in his bed. Very shortly after he falls asleep, he will unconsciously push you away to try and create distance. No matter how much he may yearn for your contact in his waking hours, he has no control over his subconscious actions. Often times the shoving is much rougher than it needs to be, abruptly (and painfully) waking you up in the process.

·         However, this does not deter him from making you sleep with him. Even if he ends up damn near shoving you off the bed, he wants you to be close to him for as long as and as much as possible.

·         Lawrence is basically nocturnal, and even if you are also a night owl there are bound to be some times when your sleep schedules don’t fall in line with each other. He gets a little excited when you fall asleep when he is awake, taking pleasure in watching you as you slumber. The way you lay near him, completely unguarded and quiet, only the slow rise and fall of your chest denoting that you are alive at all… It does something for him. More than once you’ve woken up to him standing over you, face flushed and tears in his eyes as he’s pumping his dick to the sight of your passed out form. If you wake before he can finish himself, he’s gonna use you to complete the job.

·         In fact, he just likes to stare at you while you sleep in general. He doesn’t have to feel anxious or worried of how you may perceive his gawking if you aren’t aware it’s happening to begin with. It’s a nice chance to really take in and appreciate your beauty without facing any backlash, and it comforts him to know you trust him enough to fall that deeply into slumber in his presence.

·         Doesn’t really get the point of plushies and never really had a strong attachment to stuffed animals as a child, so he doesn’t have any of his own and has no desire to own any. He thinks it’s cute that you like them though, and won’t deny you if you want to take one or two to bed with you. If you gift him one, he’ll be flustered but thankful, hugging it when he is unable to hug you. The little friend is a perfect cuddle buddy for when your sleep schedules don’t align and he doesn’t want to disturb you once you have fallen asleep.

·         Just be mindful that if he gets agitated or you piss him off, he’ll definitely destroy your beloved stuffies, tearing them to shreds with either his bare hands or any of the gardening  tools he has lying around. He’ll instantly feel bad if you begin to cry over it, but at that point it’s too late. It’s best to stop the tears before he turns the assault towards you.

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Strade🔪

·         Strade is all over the place when he sleeps. It doesn’t matter how big the bed is or how little space you take up in it, his presence is unavoidable. You can try and create as much distance as physically possible, scrunching yourself up in a corner in hopes that he doesn’t come in contact with you, and you’ll still end up with him sprawled all over you come morning.

·         He’s also loud. Snoring, grunting, talking in his sleep, he’s so noisy it’s a wonder you can get any sleep at all. You get used to it after a while (you don’t have a choice), but each time he nudges you in his sleep or wakes you up with a particularly loud snore, it’s all just another unpleasant reminder you are stuck with him, unable to find tranquility even in your dreams.

·         He has a tendency to latch on to and keep a close hold of whatever is closest to him while he sleeps. The moment he looks even slightly drowsy you try and stay away from him, not thrilled with the prospect of being smashed up against him for hours on end while he’s pleasantly off in dreamland. Were it anyone else or any other situation, you may find the clinginess endearing, but with Strade it’s just extremely uncomfortable and confusing. You spend the whole time unsure if you want him to wake up and let you go (and thus have to deal with an alert and active monster) or if you want to remain silent and just put up with it, thankful for the rare moment of peace.

·         He sleeps the best after successfully finding and securing a new victim, the gusto and energy that he puts towards spending time with his new ‘friend’ leaves him completely spent by the end of the day. A tired Strade is usually a good thing for you-if he’s worn out, he’s less likely to bother or hurt you. However the opposite is also true, if he hasn’t been able to blow off steam in a while he’ll grow antsy and restless, and he’s bound to make his lack of sleep and overall disgruntlement your problem. Regardless, you won’t get much sleep either way, as you find no contentment in either situation.

·         Though they aren’t really his thing, he is amused by your plushies. While he can see the appeal of them, the only real interest he takes in them is how you react to them. Which ones are your favorite, do you favor one character or animal over another, do you prefer the big and fluffy or small and squishy? Most importantly though, he wants to know how deeply your fondness for them extends and how/if he can use that as a persuasive tool against you in the future. Should they prove to be a promising means of coercion, prepare for quite a few new plush friends to keep you company in the future. :)

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Celia👩‍💼

·         She’s an early riser. Not necessarily because she wants to so much as it’s engrained in her from years of putting in overtime at her corporate job. If you try and pull her back into bed she’ll gripe at you, but is secretly happy that you are willingly making yourself a scapegoat for her laziness. Though on days she absolutely has to get up early, you best be getting up right alongside her to help her get ready for the day or you will be deeply regretting it. She always takes precedence, you can sleep more when she leaves.

·         She’s on edge most of the time and is overall a very light sleeper. If you snore or toss and turn too much, she’ll get pissed off and roughly shove you awake, grumbling obscenities while complaining about how annoying you are being. If she can’t sleep, she certainly isn’t going to let you sleep either.

·         Even if you aren’t a noisy or restless sleeper, she’ll still find constant things to gripe about regarding your sleeping arrangement. Either you take up too much room, or you are encroaching on her personal space, or you have some other sleeping habit she finds grating that you have no control over because you are unconscious when you do it. She doesn’t ever seem overly pleased to share sleeping space with you, and you often wonder why she doesn’t just banish you to the couch or some other place to get your rest.

·         And yet, she never does make you sleep elsewhere.  In fact, it only makes her MORE pissed off if you suggest it, taking it as a personal offense that you don’t want to spend time with her. She won’t admit it to you, but the act of sleeping near someone she doesn’t positively loathe or who isn’t trying to use her in some way is one of the few things that really brings her peace. Even if it’s against your will, having you in bed with her soothes her. It’s honestly the best sleep she has had in ages.

·         She’s not a huge cuddler, but she does like physical confirmation that you are near. Often times she’ll reach out in the night to grab your hand or drape her arm across your body, never smothering, but just enough contact to assure that you are still by her side.

·         She staunchly refuses to have any stuffed animals in her bed, telling you she finds them childish and stupid (whether she actually feels this way or is just pissed you are trying to bring things into her bed that take up even more space is debatable). If she finds any plushies you are hiding she will most likely throw them away on sight. You may be able to get away with a little one, but that’s only if she doesn’t find it or is feeling extremely benevolent.

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Derek🦂

·         The only time Derek shows any kind of ‘affection’ is when he sleeps. Like Strade, he likes to secure himself to things while he slumbers, and if he doesn’t fall asleep with an item (you) already in his arms at some point in the night, he will subconsciously grab onto something (also you) and not relent until he wakes the next morning.

·         The way he clings to you can almost be considered sweet. Wrapping his arms around you securely, burying his face into your chest or the crux of your neck as he snuggles up against you as close as physically possible, it makes you momentarily forget what a monster the man beside you actually is. It’s almost as if he’s a child huddled up close to a parent, seeking comfort from the things that go bump in the night.  The spell is broken if he happens to be awoken during one of these cuddle sessions, and he’ll take out his embarrassment over the situation by treating you even crueler than he typically does.

·         One of the few niceties he allows you is sleeping in his bed as opposed to the floor-but it comes at a price.  It’s an honor to be able to sleep next to him nightly in his huge, plush, expensive bed, an honor far too good for the likes of you. He expects to be compensated for his generosity, so you’d best be ready to do any and everything he asks or desires at the drop of a hat, no matter how degrading or agonizing it may be. If you want to keep this privilege while preventing as much suffering as possible, you’ll do as he says. (Then again, it’s not like he really needs your active participation to force what he wants out of you, but he does like when you obey him ‘willingly’ and has a tendency to be a smidge less cruel when you follow his instruction).

·         He usually forces you to either sleep nude or in some very compromising/uncomfortable/embarrassing negligee that covers so little you mine as well BE naked. He’s a blanket hog too, and has a penchant for cranking up the AC at night, leaving your only source of warmth to be curling up beside him. You try and fight it at first, but you inevitably give in when the chill gets to be too much (also you aren’t too keen on getting ill in his presence, swallowing your pride is worth it if you can avoid more suffering).

·         He will mercilessly make fun of and belittle you for any stuffed animals you may have or try to sleep with. He’ll infantilize you, asking if you need a binky to go with your stuffy, or tease that he’ll need to put you in diapers so you don’t accidentally shit the bed. However, even with all the constant mocking, he does find it kinda hot when you try and use the plushies as a shield, doing your best to conceal your sniveling face and exposed body behind the fluffy creature as he plows into you ruthlessly. The toy does a shit job shielding you, but it is hilarious to watch you try and hide yourself behind them.

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Mason🐻

·         Despite everything, he’s actually probably the nicest of the lot to sleep with. He’s warm and soft, and when he holds you it’s comforting and shockingly soothing. It’s disconcerting how easily you melt into the same person that caused you so much trauma and torment, haunted by the fact that the arms that now wrap snuggly around you were not so long ago the greatest threat to your life. You don’t know whether you should be more disgusted with him for holding you with such familiarity or yourself for enjoying it as much as you do.

·         The man can sleep almost anywhere. After years of surviving out in the wilderness he has honed his body to handle tough climates and all manner of conditions, granting him the ability to thrive in less than favorable environments. The man could probably fall asleep in the middle of a torrential downpour with nothing but a rock bed beneath him and come out of it completely rested.

·         You aren’t expected to immediately be able to rough it. He realizes this way of life is all fairly new to you and that getting used to nights out in the wilderness has its own learning curve. Because of this, he’s actually surprisingly accommodating about the whole thing. When you camp, he makes sure to bring his best tent and sleeping bag for you to use, even though it’s a hassle to drag around and he himself has long since forgone the need for it. Though it’s nearly impossible to find comfort enough to sleep while stranded deep out in an unfamiliar forest, surrounded by nothing but the pitch black of night, all manner of voracious wild animals, and a serial killer, he does his best to make sure you are adequately cared for and as content as you can possibly be.

·         However you best not slack with your survival instincts, this coddling is only a limited time deal. You proved yourself to him once by pulling through his trial, but that doesn’t mean you have a free ride forever. He’ll pamper you a bit in the ‘honeymoon’ phase, but if you grow complacent and begin to let him down… It isn’t going to be a smooth or happy time for either of you. Its best not to betray his expectations, if you do something overly stupid or otherwise show your survival was just a fluke… your sleeping arrangement is going to be the least of your concern.

·         He finds your affinity for stuffed animals a bit juvenile, but also slightly endearing. He can’t deny how cute you look when you are curled up in his bed, nestled amongst various furs and blankets, clutching tight to your favorite plushie while you rest. He enjoys that sight so much that he decides to make you his own plushie for you one day as a gift.

·         It was a strange little lumpy creature he cobbled together from various fabric scraps and other soft, but unidentified, material, all sloppily hand sewn with little black buttons for eyes. It was a true amalgamation of mismatched cloth and stuffing, and to be honest… You weren’t really sure what it was supposed to be. A bear, maybe? Or a raccoon? Regardless, you take it without question, and once he sees it’s been accepted he’s quick to discard your previous plush. He’s accepting of this hobby to a degree-you can have ONE. And since you were smart and picked the better of the two, you don’t need the ratty old one to cling to for company anymore. You have him and you have his gift, everything else is frivolous.

“I can’t stand to lose you, just the thought of it drives me insane, but I can’t be so selfish any longer.”

Finally, he turned his attention your way. With his elbows rested on his knees, his crouched form made him look smaller than he had ever appeared, “The decision to come with me is yours. Should you decide against it, I’ll leave you alone for as long as you need, even if that’s forever.”

Silence hung thick in the air, permeating your surroundings in a thick layer of tension. Stuck in such an uncharacteristic situation, you mulled over the state of affairs. Staring at the defeated man before you, a man you had known to always be so proud and domineering, was a shock. Even after his defeat at the hands of Toman’s leader, Taiju still had an heir of dignity about him. To witness him limp and meek, realizing that the weight of your decision hung so heavily upon him and that one sentence from you would be enough to save or break him, left you speechless.

‘Did I always hold this much power?’ the thought drifted into your head lackadaisically, ‘Who knew?’

“Fuck,” he cursed, the expletive breaking the all-encompassing silence, “Why is this shit always so hard? I’ve never been this on edge in my goddamn life. I know I sprang this on you out of nowhere, If you need time to think about it, I should have-“

“I’ll come with you.”

His head shot up at your words. Bright, hopeful eyes drank you in, desperately scouring your face for an affirmation that what he had just heard was the truth, and not some cruel misunderstanding his brain had contrived to trick him. You smirked at him, finding charm in catching a glimpse of a rarely flustered Taiju.

“I want to come with you and I will come with you, but…”

You gripped your hands in your lap, taking a deep breath to steel your resolve. The time had finally come to say the words that long needed to be said.

“Things need to change in order for me to do that. I can’t keep living like this. I can’t keep feeling like I am more a prisoner than your partner. If you have ever loved me at all, then I want you to please listen.”

Squaring your shoulders, you continued. “If you can promise me that you’ll work on reeling in your anger, that you will grow with me and not against me, and promise that I can have my family and friends back… Then I will stay. I want my life back Taiju, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want you in it. I just want a normal relationship. Not as the girlfriend of a gang-leader who gets put on a pedestal and spends most of her time locked up, left to worry and fret as her man gets tied up in god knows what. I want to be Taiju Shiba’s girlfriend and go on normal boring dates while being able to walk down the street holding hands without having to worry if we are gonna end up in a gang war for simply existing out in public.”

You took a breath to reel yourself in before continuing, “I want to experience life’s highs and lows with you. All the daily annoyances and moments of happiness, I want you to be the one I share them with. I’m not some princess that needs to be locked away in a castle, I want you to have faith in me, have faith in my love for you, and let me live. Trust that I can take care of myself and support me and I promise to continue to supporting you. Really, that is all I have ever wanted for us.”

The words had barely left your lips when Taiju got to his feet, wasting no time in bridging the gap between you. Once before you, he fell to his knees, knocking the breath from you as he collapsed atop you, pulling you against him in the most constricting hug you had ever felt.

“I promise,” he blurted out, his shaky voice muffled as he smothered himself against you. “I promise to become a man worthy of your love, angel. I swear on God and all that I am.”

After the initial surprise subsided, you smiled down at him, gently stroking your fingers through his slightly disheveled tresses. Judging by the quiver of his shoulders and the slight dampness you now felt on your stomach, you were sure he was crying.

You held him, gently stroking him for as long as it took for him to calm down. Though his grip loosened, he never let go, keeping you in his embrace as if his life depended on it.

“…Nearly gave me a heart attack,” he finally murmured, “Cut the suspense next time, will you? Especially if you are just gonna end up giving in to me.”

An airy laugh escaped you, “I’m the one who gave in? You were pretty quick in changing your tune the moment I laid an ultimatum on the table.”

He scoffed, “Yeah well, it was kind of an all or nothing gamble for me. Either you would choose to come with me and I could start to work on getting my shit together, or you chose to leave me and I…”

His voice trailed off as he focused on a future that could have been, one in which you left him behind. It ate away at him, the worry that given your own choice you would leavehim, just as so many others had before. Even as the primary victim in his long standing spiral of personal issues, your heart ached whenever you thought about it. Under all that machismo Taiju was in pain, scared and hurting, just like everyone else.

“Well,” you sighed, ruffling his hair to try and lighten the mood, “At the very least you would have at least had a home to return to, it just would have been a little lonelier had I not made the decision I had.”

 “A home without you in it is no home at all.”

You were happy he remained nestled against your stomach, certain that if he had seen the red tinge that now peppered your cheeks that there would never be an end to the teasing.

You leaned in to plant a quick kiss atop his head, “Well then, it’s a good thing I made the right choice. It would be a little too heartbreaking to have you dumped AND homeless at the same time, right?”

After garnering an amused huff from him, you continued to speak. “You need to have a little more faith in me. I meant what I said when I told you you wouldn’t have to face this all alone. I’ll always stand by your side Taiju.”

~~~

From there, things began to change for the better.

Though decidedly much smaller and dingier than your previous abode, it was surprisingly peaceful having a place of your own with Taiju. But that didn’t mean you were without concerns, having some major reservations from the get-go over how everyday life would pan out now that it was just you and Taiju versus the world. Ties had been cut and bridges burnt, leaving you with no support besides each other- something that became painfully obvious once you had settled. The uncertainty of it all kept you up at night. Fretting over how rent would be paid and whether or not you would have enough left over for groceries and other expenditures plagued your every waking moment of those first few weeks.

But as you grew used to the environment and your new routine, those reservations began to vanish. Taiju’s love for fine dining landed him a job quickly. The owner of his favorite eatery was so taken with him during his interview that he hired him on the spot. Because of its penchant to attract wealthy clientele, the pay was good, even for someone who was brand new. It was so good in fact, that you were able to shift your focus back to school-something sorely needed, as you had A LOT of catching up to do.

With your academics starting to get back on track you realized it was time to confront the next hurdle-your family. For weeks you stewed on how you should approach them. Maybe a phone call, or should you be more ballsy and request to meet up in person? It all seemed horrifying. The thought of outright rejection, or worse, the facing the scorn of the past transgressions, was enough to have you second guessing everything. You mulled it over and over in your head, eventually deciding that a letter was the best (and safest) approach to this precarious situation.

Two were created, one for your family, and one for Tomoko. You wrote them, rewrote them, and rewrote them again, praying that through the chicken scratch and slightly incoherent ramblings that they would understand the depth of your regret and realize just how sorry you truly were. If your words could relay even a smidge of how much you missed them, you would be satisfied.

But uncertainty kept you from mailing them. They were both set to go, sitting front and center on the table by the door, postage firmly attached with their intended destinations clear and crisp atop the envelopes… but you couldn’t bring yourself to send them. They sat for days, mocking you each time you entered and left the house, taunting you cruelly when you reached out to grab them, only to chicken out and leave them as they were.

Until one day when they weren’t there at all.

Noticing your confusion, Taiju outted himself as the culprit rather quickly. You listened in increasing dismay as he explained that not only did he send out the letters before you had fully come to terms with mailing them, but he had actually hand delivered them both himself. A minor outburst of disbelief, dawning horror, and outright astonishment followed his confession. While watching you experience this myriad of emotions, Taiju knew he was now caught in a situation that required a full explanation.

He sighed in irritation, realizing that you wouldn’t let up until you received an adequate rundown of what had transpired. He lazily scratched the back of his head, taking a moment before speaking. “Look, you were taking too long, alright? Every night I saw you toil at your desk over those damn letters long after you should have been in bed with me. It was pissing me off, so I decided to read them one night to see what the hell was more important than being nestled by my side.”

Before you had the chance to retort, he continued, “But once I read them, what was I supposed to do? Here you are every night spilling your heart and soul out on this paper, writing and re-writing, erasing so much I’m surprised the paper doesn’t have holes, just in the hopes that your family will read it and understand you. Each word was like a punch in the gut and I wasn’t even the intended audience.  If it affected me like that, I knew your message would be understood by them, too. You wrote it with the intent of it reaching them, right? I just gave it the final push to get it there.”

Worry creased your brow “… Okay, I won’t deny needing a little push, but why didn’t you just mail it? Are you so mistrusting of the mail system, or were you just afraid I would resort back to cowardice and fish it out of the post box?”

A moment of silence passed as you waited for Taiju’s response. “You really can’t figure that part out on your own?” Was his eventual terse response, the slight red that graced his cheeks relaying his reluctance to elaborate on the matter.

“Enlighten me,” You spoke carefully, not wanting to agitate him to the point of no response. “I am still confused.”

More silence, then eventually, an extremely heavy sigh.

“I hand delivered it because I want to help fix the things in your life I destroyed, or at least make the attempt.” his face turned even redder, his eye contact fluctuating as he appeared to have a hard time focusing on you. “I still think your folks are a pain in the ass and I couldn’t care less about your shitty sister. How a family full of such stuck up assholes produced you is beyond me,”  He groaned, “ And don’t get me started on that Tomoko girl, your family was a fucking cake walk compared to her. I could barely get a word in edgewise with the conniption she was having over seeing me, it riles me up just thinking about it.”

You couldn’t help but smile at the imagery. It was good to know that despite everything, your feisty ride or die was still ready to smack down for you.

“But you care about them, and I care about you,” Taiju continued, regaining his composure as he placed his hand atop your head, “If you want them in your life then they will be in your life. I would have to apologize to them sooner or later anyway, so I figured why not just get it over with all together?”

Tears burned your eyes, “Taiju… I don’t really know what to say. Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet,” he snorted, “I did the easy part. YOU actually have to talk to them now.”

~~~

That evening you heard your family’s voices for the first time in years. Instantly you delved into catching up. Laughing, crying, and joking, the conversation flowed so seamlessly that hours felt like minutes.  The longer you spoke on the phone the sillier you felt for worrying so much.  Of course your family missed you, it was in your mother’s tears, your fathers soothing words, and even your sister’s normally grumpy tone was light and pleasant as she filled you in on the recent happenings in her life. At the end of the call they invited you to dinner the following day, an invitation you were eager to agree to. You practically salivated at the thought of your mom’s home cooking, knowing she would pull out all the stops for your home coming.

A few days later, you received a text from Tomoko.

(11:03pm) From Tomz:

‘Check THIS out!’

An image of an impossibly tiny, incredibly fluffy dog engulfed your screen.  Tomoko’s hand held up the creatures little paw, making it look as if the puppy were waving you a cheerful little “hello!”. The dogs tongue lulled happily out the side of its mouth as it cocked its head goofily, staring into the camera with endearing chocolate eyes-it was enough to make your heart melt.  Coupled with Tomoko’s beaming, familiar smile, you were filled with an elation that was hard to describe.

 You wiped a tear from your eye. Of course Tomoko would pick things up like this, as if nothing had ever happened.

(11:03pm) From Tomz:

‘Say hello to our newest family member! He’s cute, right? I know. Takes after his mom (me) so ofc he’s adorbs.’

You laughed through your sniffles, typing a quick reply.

(11:05pm) From Me:

‘I can’t deny that he is very cute. He takes after his mom in more than one way, I have def seen that ditzy look on your face more than once…’

Her response came immediately.

(11:05pm) From Tomz:

‘Ha ha ha! Jokes on you tho, that ditzy look has gotten me out of answering a lot of hard questions in class. If you master it, the teachers eventually stop calling on you. Waste of time to even ask such a doofus and all that.’

(11:07pm) From Tomz:

‘Anyway, you gotta come meet him, he’s such a sweetheart, he’ll love you immediately!!! WARNING: He is EXTREMELY needy tho, so please come soon. He could quite literally die if you don’t give him attention. ｡°(°¯᷄◠¯᷅°)°｡’

(11:09pm) From Me:

 ‘I’ve committed many sins in my day, but causing the death of a puppy? Absolutely unforgiveable. (ᴗ_ ᴗ。) How could I live with myself if I let such a nice young man perish?’

(11:12pm) From Tomz:

‘Yeah and he’s not the only one dying from neglect over here (īī ^ īī) It’s been how many years since we’ve last hung out? A billion? That’s what it feels like. (Nick name) I’ve held on for as long as I can, but if we don’t see each other soon it will be RIP me and then you will just have to sob at my funeral, dreaming of what could have been…’

(11:14pm) From Me:

‘Seriously? I finally get the chance to apologize, fully intending to grovel at your feet while I beg for your forgiveness, doing all sorts of theatrics while making a scene to prove my point, and you are just gonna die before I get the chance to? Nah, I don’t think so. Forget sobbing at your funeral, if you croak before I make it to you I’ll just make a deal with a devil or something to bring you back. I have too much to make up for to let you go that easily.’

Minutes passed, and you wondered if she had fallen asleep. A vibration drew your eyes back to the screen.

(11:31pm) From Tomz:

‘I fucking missed you so much.’

On impulse, your thumb smashed the call button. Her tinkling laugh was the first thing to greet you.

“Welcome back,” she hiccupped through her giggles, letting you know she had been crying too, “Now that I have been successfully brought back from the brink of certain death, you ready to start groveling?”

~

While the restoration of your other relationships was under way, your own relationship with Taiju also continued on the up and up. Of course there were still plenty of rough patches, both learning curves and moments of irritation that led to heated arguments and poisoned words. But even with the occasional spat it was obvious your bond was strengthening.

Taiju was the one that held you every night, telling you stories and stroking your hair while you drifted off to the sound of his heartbeat. He was the one who cooked all your meals for you, spoiling you with your favorite dishes and delectable treats, especially on the rough days. He could make you laugh at the most inappropriate times, taking great pride in bringing a smile to your face (even if it got you in trouble). He protected you like a guard dog, but in the event you ever were hurt, he would always clumsily nurse you back to health, pledging that whatever or whoever caused you pain would ‘get what they deserve’ (a promise you had no doubt he kept).

Whenever you were sad or stressed he didn’t shy away from addressing the issue, providing you comfort and support until you were back to your old self. If he was the cause, he’d return after whatever squabble had occurred with a bouquet so huge he could hide behind it, which was perfect to mask the sheepish expression on his face when he gifted it to you.

Taiju had remained a man of his word, consistently changing for the better. He wasn’t perfect by any stretch of the term, but you never expected nor wanted perfection. There would always be rough edges around Taiju Shiba, but now instead of those jagged edges inflicting the deep, hemorrhaging gashes they once did, all it seemed they could do these days were nick you at best.

~~~

Years passed. By the skin of your teeth you were able to graduate high school. While you had loathed the endless makeup classes and late night cram sessions you had forced yourself through, it was worth it to be able to graduate with the rest of your peers. Taiju had also been successful in his endeavors, receiving promotion after promotion, quickly rising in the restaurant hierarchy. Words could not begin to express how proud you were of him. Shaking off the shackles of his tumultuous youth, he was like an entirely new man with the world at his fingertips.

He was brilliant in his new role, so much so that as the years ticked by and the owner grew older and was no longer able to run them himself, he ended up bequeathing his entire chain of restaurants to the young man he had grown to view as a son. The moment marked a major turning point in his life, and it was an honor Taiju took very seriously. You had never seen him more proud than when he was re-introduced to the team under his new mantle as owner, beaming so brightly his face radiated a boyish charm akin to when the two of you had very first met.

Resolute in your support of Taiju, it only made sense for you to follow suit in his career endeavors. Starting out in odd positions here and there in his restaurants, you began by assisting in the kitchen before waitressing when needed, then acting as hostess, until eventually becoming a shift manager. Restaurant life was fast paced and tough work, but fulfilling in its own right. Once Taiju had become the boss, it took no time for you to be promoted as his second in command. Though you advised Taiju against such a quick promotion, worried that the other staff would be upset and act out over such an obvious show of favoritism, no one truly seemed to mind. If anything, they welcomed you with open arms, joking that they were pleased to have you as a co-owner because you were much kinder and approachable than their stony boss.

It wasn’t the original course you had plotted your life to take, but you were happy to have ended up here none the less.  Surrounded by love, support, and the promise of happiness on the horizon, you felt fulfilled for the first time in a very long time.

~~~

A tentative knock sounded on your office door.

“Come in,” you called, only glancing up briefly as you hurried to finish up the final tasks of the day. The remaining odds and ends that kept you from heading out of the long closed restaurant were nearly complete, and you had already given the go ahead for the closing staff to call it a night, so it came as a bit of a surprise that someone had stuck around. Usually the moment you told them they were good, people couldn’t peel out fast enough.

Yuki (one of the newer servers on the team) ended up sneaking his way inside. Once he was in the office, he took his time shutting the door behind him, moving as gingerly as he could. He seemed to take extra care in making sure it didn’t make any noise, like he was worried it may upset you if it did. His timid demeanor was strange for someone who was normally so sure of themselves, and you couldn’t help but be a bit concerned by his odd entrance.

“Sorry to bother you so late miss (Name),” he tittered shyly, bowing a bit in apology, “If now is a bad time I can come back later?”

You smiled at him as you shook your head, “You’re not a bother at all, I am just finishing up my daily report.” You set aside the paperwork you had been working on, giving the young man your full attention. “What’s up Yuki?”

He glanced at you nervously, fidgeting a bit where he stood, “Well… I was hoping I could ask you a favor?”

While Yuki had only been at the restaurant for about six months, he had already made quite a name for himself amongst the staff and customers alike. While maybe not the hardest worker, he was certainly one of the most liked, with a sparkling sort of personality that could put a smile on even the dourest of faces. He was witty and funny, with a handsome, fresh-faced look to boot. It wasn’t rare for the female customers to request to sit in his section, sometimes even waiting for seats to open up, despite there being other spots were available. His charm was undeniable and you yourself had also grown quite fond of him as well, viewing him as a little brother of sorts.

At the age of twenty it was apparent he had no true devotion to his job, seeing his current employment as a means to feed himself, help him get through school, have a little spending money, and little more. But still, he had a way about him that was genuine, and that made him both a likeable person and a valuable asset to the team

“Of course,” you shot him a look of concern, his hesitation not something you were used to from the confident boy, “What do you need?”

“Well,” He thought his words over for a moment, before looking you earnestly in the eyes, “I know that I am scheduled to work this coming Saturday, and I know its slated to be a super busy night what with all that’s going on around the neighborhood, but…”

He trailed off, sighing before continuing, “I just got word that my grandma is coming in to town. My mom told me kind of last minute, it slipped her mind because she had been busy getting the house ready and stuff. Usually I can find the time to go visit grandma whenever I get the chance because she’ll normally stay for a few days, which makes it easier to see her because I can just go over there at my own leisure and stuff. It’s better that way honestly, and something grandma usually takes into consideration when she comes over, but I guess this time-”

He stopped mid-sentence, laughing nervously as he scratched the back of his head, “Sorry, I’m rambling aren’t I? The point I’m trying to make is that this time around she’s coming this Saturday and ONLY this Saturday.” “I already asked around to see if anyone else could maybe pick up my shift,” he was

quick to continue on, “But everyone else is either busy or already working. I called my grandma today to try to explain to her that I most likely won’t be able to come see her, but before I could tell her that she just kept going on about how she’s excited to see me, gushing about how much she loves me and how she has missed me terribly, reminding me that she hasn’t seen me in months. She then started going into detail about how she has been looking forward to this trip for days and just kept on going from there. You know, the whole nine yards.”

Yuki gave a self-depreciating sigh, “I’m babbling again, I’m sorry, it’s just… The thing is, I miss her too. Maybe I sound childish for opening up like this, but I love my grandma. She helped raise me right alongside my mom, so to think I may miss out on the opportunity to see her after she told me how excited she is to see me, especially with how old she is getting … It really hurts.”

He bowed once more, “I know it will be super busy, and I hate to ask… but is there any chance I can have this coming Saturday off? I understand if the answer is no-“

“I will take your shift.”

Bewildered, he peered up at you from his bent position, “Miss (Name), you… you’ll really take over my shift for me? Are you sure?”

“Hey now, don’t make me regret my decision!” You chuckled, counting on your fingers, “Let’s see, I know of at least one concert going on in the area and two sports events. That, on top of all the anniversaries, birthday parties, business dinners, and just plain hungry people we have flood us on a normal Saturday… Yeah, your loss would definitely be felt,” You looked up at him with a kind smile, “Which is why I will take over your shift for you. Your job is important, but family even more so. I don’t want you to miss out on precious time with them.”

“Thank you,” he exclaimed, bowing once more, “Thank you so much, miss (Name)! I won’t forget this kindness! If there is any way I can help you in the future please let me know!”

“Just enjoy your families company,” you responded warmly, “And give your grandma a big hug for me.”

~~~

Saturday came quickly, and while you had readily agreed to take Yuki’s shift at the time, you were dreading the chaos that surely awaited you at the restaurant.

When you had told the rest of the crew you would be taking over Yuki’s shift you got a healthy dose of light teasing, your decision doing no favors for your reputation as a pushover. They all joked that you should have made him ask Taiju for the day off to see how that would fly, knowing good and well the only one who would be completely unwavering against Yuki’s charms would be the boss man himself.

While you knew they did it in jest, the thought of Yuki having to make this request to Taiju, even as innocuous as it was, made your stomach turn. Simply imagining the clear irritation that would display on Taiju’s face were Yuki to relay this heartfelt request to him made you feel so sorry for him you wanted to cry, never mind the verbal berating that would surely follow.

You had guessed this was why Yuki had decided to come to you over Taiju to begin with, and it honestly made you glad he did. Though Taiju had undeniably softened in the many years since his hoodlum days, that didn’t mean he had become a doormat. If anything he became more of a perfectionist and expected the people who worked for him to be the same. If you had an obligation you were expected to fill it, and there were very few things that Taiju would let pass by as acceptable absences. His overbearing demeanor was something you were still trying to work on with him, but whenever you brought it up he had a tendency of throwing it back in your face, reminding you that despite being an ‘domineering asshole’ he was able to run several Michelin star restaurants efficiently, therefor there was no reason to change his style of operation.

Stepping from the shower, you sighed as these thoughts occupied your head. There was exclusivity in knowing that Taiju reserved his soft side for those closest to him (most notably you), but you also knew what a boon it was to everyone else around him. He had rebuilt himself from the ground up, and while that was impressive and worthy of respect, you feared his severe personality still pushed away opportunities that could be substantial to him.

You had heard the door of the bedroom creak open just as you were rifling in the closet for something to wear, Taiju’s sudden presence making you hasten in your search, tightening the towel around your still damp form to keep you from indecency. It wasn’t long before you felt his arms encircling your stomach, pulling you closer as his lips descended to your exposed neck. You sighed when his lips connected with your skin, shivering slightly when his teeth just barely grazed the surface.

“You smell nice,” he mumbled against your neck, kissing you once more, “Is this that new body wash I bought you?”

You hummed in response, “It is. I know I gave you a hard time for spending so much money on such a small bottle, but it really does smell good.” You sniffed the air playfully before turning around to face him, “You smell pretty good yourself, and you look very handsome to boot! Got some kind of special plans tonight, sir?”

Your words weren’t mere flattery- Taiju truly was dressed to the nines. Tailored suit, hair slicked back, a shiny, thick gold chain peeking from collar of his crisp, white shirt- he looked like a model straight from a menswear magazine. Coupled with his piercing gaze and the rich smell of his cologne made you feel a bit weak in the knees, questioning what event could have possibly prompted him to get so dressed up. While it wasn’t rare for Taiju to take pride in his appearance, to dress up to this extent was usually reserved for only the finest of outings.

“Of course I do,” He smirked playfully, “But I see my lovely partner for the night is taking her sweet time. I thought she would be ready by now.” His grin grew as he placed a chaste kiss to your forehead, his hand moving to idly toy with the knot of your towel, “Though maybe her aim is to seduce me before the nights festivities even begin? If that’s her game it will be hard to beat, but tonight is too special to give up on so easily, so I won’t go down without a fight.”

By the tone of his voice it was obvious Taiju believed that you were kidding around with him, and how you wished that were the truth. Hearing his words made you remember it all in a sudden, violent flash. As the memory resurfaced your body grew rigid, punctuated by a sharp intake of breath. A few weeks ago Taiju had told you to keep tonight clear for him, explaining only that he had something very special planned. Unfortunately with how hectic the month had become, you had forgot to make any further note of it, and thus his planned evening with you had slipped from your mind entirely.

“Taiju,” you frowned solemnly, sucking away the playful glow he had seconds prior, “I am so sorry, I totally forgot we had plans tonight.”

You saw a hint of something flash in his eye, but it was gone as quickly as it came. Shaking his head, the smile returned to his face, “It’s alright, baby. We’ll just be a bit late for the reservation. Just keep getting ready, I’ll wait for you.”

“No,” you shook your head, frown growing, “We will have to reschedule entirely. I ended up making other plans at the restaurant. I picked up Yuki’s shift because he had some family coming to town and really needed the night off. Everyone else was either already working or previously engaged so I was the only one who could potentially help him. If I don’t show up it’s going to be a total shit show.”

Typically Taiju was very lenient when it came to anything that helped the restaurant. Prioritizing anything else over him was an issue, but if it was for your shared livelihoods sake, you got a free pass. In fact, it always pleased him greatly when you showed dedication to the family business, thrilled that his passion for running and maintaining the eatery extended to you as well.

However, as a cold look began to materialize in his eye, you realized that this time something was different. This time, whatever he had planned trumped anything that was going on with the restaurant (though you had a hard time imagining what that might even be), and you could tell from the shift in demeanor alone that you had made a very grave error.

“I-I’m sorry,” you stuttered, shrinking back slightly from his intense aura, “With how busy everything has been I didn’t get the chance to mark my calendar, so when he asked I completely forgot today was the day. I am so sorry Taiju, really. Maybe I can-“

“It’s fine.”

The frost in his voice made it clear that things were anything but. The rest of your words died in your throat, replaced by a drawn out, uncomfortable silence that frazzled your nerves with each passing second.

 Finally, after a deep sigh, he proceeded to talk.

“Its fine,” He repeated, this time more calmly. He pressed another kiss to your head, this one with more pressure behind it. “Go to your shift. We’ll discuss this more when you get home.”

Without another word, he quickly left the room. Moments later, you heard the front door slam shut, signaling that you were now alone.

~

Work was a nightmare.

Between the ceaseless onslaught of customers, mishaps with orders, issues with staffing, and being on your feet for hours on end while you had to maintain a brilliant service smile through it all, the night had been endless. None of the trials of the night were made any easier by the constant worry that plagued your mind over how you had upset Taiju. In the brief breaks you did get you found yourself constantly rushing to your phone, checking to see if you got a text or a call from him, each time coming back empty. It wasn’t a sign that bode well for you, and made the night that much more unbearable.

This entire shift had made you feel as if you had been hit by a bus, only for it to back over you so it could run you over again.

But miraculously, you pulled through. Frazzled and exhausted, you applauded your team for their efforts at the end of this trying night, wishing the equally weary group a goodnight before you hustled home yourself.  Though your legs felt as if they were moments away from giving out, you refused to let it stop you from jogging the entire way back home. The faster you could make it to Taiju, the better.

Out of breath and that much more exhausted, you made it home in record time. You were thankful that you lived so close to the restaurant, and thankful still that you were back where you needed to be and could now attempt to make things right. Your heart pounded in your chest, hammering away to a steady beat of anxiety and overexertion, as you marched up to your front door. Sweat made your clothes stick to your body, your clammy hand finding it hard to grip the nob and turn it. You groaned, annoyed that something as small as entering your own home was becoming an issue. Hadn’t the night been hard enough already?

After some finagling, you successfully opened the door, its slow creak alerting anyone inside that you had returned. All the lights were off, obscuring your home in a menacing darkness that amplified your unease. You tried to keep your breath steady as you took a tentative step inside, cringing when you stepped on a particularly noisy floor board.

“Taiju…?” You called into the depths of the house, “Taiju, I’m home.”

No response. You didn’t know if you should take that as a good sign or bad.

Just as you were about to fish your phone from your pocket, the heady scent of a cigar wafted into the hallway. You had never been a big fan of smoking, the sting of cigarette smoke always made your eyes water and your chest ache, reminding you of those horrible nights spent surrounded by delinquents and gang members- a life you were happy to have left behind. But on special occasions Taiju liked to indulge, and since you found the smoke from cigars less offensive, you left him to his vice with no complaints.

Following the scent, you arrived at the door of his office. A soft glow trickled from the bottom of the door as you stood just outside it, your heart pounding more than ever as you heard the muffled sound of someone moving inside. You exhaled, clenching your fists. Taiju was inside, and it wouldn’t do to keep him waiting.

Softly, you rapped your knuckles against the door. “Taiju?” Your voice questioned, meeker than you wanted.

“Come in.”

He answered immediately, his deep voice emotionless as he spoke his command. You swallowed the lump in your throat, nonplussed by his simple, calm reaction. His concealed emotions only filled you with greater concern over what awaited you.

Slowly, you pushed open the door to his office.

Taiju wasn’t sitting at his desk as you had expected, instead having settled in the far side of the room, positioned in a plush, yet slightly worn armchair, one of the few pieces of furniture that had followed from the old home you shared with his siblings. The only source of light was a fire crackling before him in the small fire place, a pleasant, warm glow cast about the room as the flames flickered and danced.

You always liked Taiju’s study. While overall it wasa  very formal and elegant work place, it also radiated a sense of comfort amidst its towering bookshelves and huge windows that gave a clear view of the wildflower garden you had planted out back several years ago. The hearth only added to the hominess, there had been many nights you fell asleep curled in the very spot Taiju occupied, dozing off as you waited for him to conclude his work for the day.

Currently however, any feeling of tranquility brought on by this familiar place was absent. It was far too dark out to see the flowering garden, and the bookshelves lined with their thick spined tomes seemed foreboding in the shadowy room.  The smoke that languidly drifted from Taiju’s lit cigar made the already dark room even hazier, its thick scent causing a tickle in your throat with each breath you took. A sense of disquiet wafted about the entire room as he turned his head to you, acknowledging your entrance through a puff of smoke.

“You’re home late.”

The words held no malice as he said them, seeming almost bored as he set his cigar down and rested his cheek on his fist. The flickering light of the fire projected fluctuating shadows across his body, but even the poor lighting couldn’t conceal the gleam in his eye.

“I know,” you gave him a small smile, closing the door gently behind you, “Even I’m a little surprised how long closing took. We were swamped! I barely made it out alive.” A tired sigh tumbled from your lips, “I’m beat.”

Hearing the exhaustion in your voice, he pivoted his body your way, sharp eyes remaining fixated upon you. “Sit.” He spoke plainly, uncrossing his legs to pat his lap.

Too tired to argue, you did as instructed, sitting yourself awkwardly atop his knees in an effort to not cause him discomfort. Your attempt at courtesy apparently displeased him, as he was quick to scope you closer to him, sprawling you across his lap as he cradled you in his arms.

Piercing eyes stared you down through the hazy veil, watching your every move with hawk like interest as you shifted around in his lap, trying to make yourself comfortable. He loved you being as close to him as physically possible and would often pull you down to sit with him during breaks or downtime at work. Ever the professional, he could control himself in public settings long enough to get you behind his closed office door, waiting until the coast was mostly clear to begin his heavy petting sessions.

To your great dismay, you had almost been caught by other employees on a number of occasions, but even the numerous close calls couldn’t keep his hands off of you for long. This all led you to have a bit of a complex of sitting upon what he jokingly called ‘your throne’. It was one thing to fool around like this as teenagers, but these days it just made you feel a bit childish to sit atop his lap like this. Such a position left you at a disadvantage, vulnerable to his whims. And given his ever fluctuating mood, stuck in his grasp was not always the best place to be.

But tonight you were so spent that you didn’t give any push back, and once seated you also couldn’t deny how nice if felt to be nestled against his broad chest, sitting atop his sturdy legs as his thick arms pressed you close. Now that you had settled, the full brunt of the weariness that had accumulated over the past strenuous hours regained its hold on your exhausted form, vanquishing any lingering feelings of embarrassment you may have otherwise been feeling. There was no fight within you. Taiju had won this battle before if even started.

Leisurely his hand went to your scalp, his long fingers entwining in your hair as he rubbed gentle circles against your head. “I missed you.” His voice was low as he leaned down to kiss near where his fingers lingered.

Though still slightly nervous, you were beginning to wonder if you had misread his mood. You leaned into his touch as you responded. “I missed you too. It’s good to be home.”

“Regretting your decision to abandon me?”

A soft chuckle followed his words, but the increase in pressure from his fingertips let you know his question was not entirely in jest.

“I didn’t mean to abandon you,” You frowned, looking up at him with a serious expression, “Forgetting the date wasn’t intentional, I’ve just been insanely busy this month and that has turned my brain into more of a mess than it already normally is. Not jotting it down as soon as you told me about it cursed me from the start. That, on top of remembering all the other meetings and events we’ve had this month and all the other stress I’ve been under…  Well, we see how that all turned out.” You huffed, massaging your temples to try and keep a mounting headache at bay, “Besides, it’s not like I was out having a great time, I was taking care of an understaffed, bustling restaurant. I would have loved more than anything to have been out having a lovely evening with the man I love instead of being a casualty of my shitty memory-loss riddled mind.”

He hummed thoughtfully, his eyes softening as he looked upon you. “My poor baby, I can tell she really gave her all tonight.”

The unexpected softness of his appearance caused a blush to bloom across your cheeks. Taiju sometimes looked at you with such reverence that it made your heart melt, his eyes drinking you in as if you were the most beautiful and precious thing in the world, no matter how worn out or disgusting you felt in the moment. And this was how he was peering at you right now, leaned back in his chair with a fat cigar against his slightly downturned lips, appraising you as if you were an exquisite piece of art.

Smoke snaked from his mouth as he leaned farther back in the chair, pulling you with him. Were this a fantasy you imagined Taiju would be a fierce dragon, hiding in the mists of a deep, endless cave, lurking in wait for his prey to get close enough to pounce. That of course would make you the prey, but it was a role you had grown accustomed to, even if it still bothered you.

 Taiju hadn’t lost his bite. There was still a wildness within him you knew would never be fully quelled. He was a man that would always have cruel instincts and dark desires that lurked within him, bubbling just beneath the surface. While he had undeniably grown much better at managing the beast inside him, you knew the beast was still there. Further than that, you also were keenly aware that you weren’t exempt from falling victim to said beast, should he snap.

Sometimes you just liked to delude yourself into believing that you were.

 “Give me the details about the night. It may help you blow off steam.”

His voice continued to have no hints of animosity. This was a good sign for you, and your body relaxed further as you felt his large hand travel to your lower back, rubbing gentle, languid circles as he awaited your response.

You smiled up at him, “I don’t know, going into too much detail may just stress me out more.” You chuckled, closing your eyes as you recalled the nightmare, “It was a lot busier than I anticipated, and I expected it to be busy. I sort of underestimated all the things that were happening in town this weekend, so we were absolutely slammed from the moment I stepped in the building to the moment we closed the doors. It was truly nonstop, and I felt every moment of it.”

Taiju hummed in recognition, taking another puff of his cigar before speaking, “Sounds like my girl had quite the night. If only the one who put you in such a situation could see how his actions have burdened you, maybe he’d learn his lesson and never shirk his responsibilities again.”

While there was no edge to his voice, you didn’t like the implication of his words. “I told you its fine Taiju,” you waved a bit of the smoke from your face, suppressing a small cough, “It was just a onetime thing. Besides, if anything I’m happy he got to spend some time with his family. Family comes before everything, right?”

You thought using his own viewpoint against him would help you ease the strange agitation Taiju had been masking since the moment you had stepped into the room. It was a risky maneuver- coming face to face with his contradictions could have easily just pissed him off more than anything. But you took the gamble anyway- surely he could understand why you decided to help out. Thinking back to Yuki’s initial request and how he had asked so resolutely for some time to simply enjoy a rare visit from a beloved family member… In another life that could have been Taiju seeking time with Hakkai, Yuzuha, or even you. If granting him his request made you a sentimental sucker in Taiju’s eyes, so be it.

Your words hung in silence for a moment before a rumbling laugh erupted from Taiju, catching you off guard, “You’re right. Family does come before everything,” the hand that had once so gently been stroking your back now gripped your side tightly, pulling you closer to him. After extinguishing his cigar in an ash tray, his free hand was quick to pinch your chin, directing you to face him.

With no further words, his lips claimed yours. Fiercely and hungrily he came for you, the sudden display of passion leaving you momentarily stunned. It was only when Taiju greedily nibbled at your bottom lip that you regained control of your senses, hurriedly granting him the access he sought.

“My angel tastes like sugar,” he spoke between demanding kisses, “Intoxicatingly sweet. It’s stupidly easy to get addicted to you, baby.”

As his feverish onslaught grew deeper and more demanding by the second, you could do little more than give in to him. Whimpering against his lips your body grew hot, struggling to keep up with the intensity Taiju was showering upon you. He tasted like smoke and bourbon, his repeated kisses a mixture of sincerity and fierce desire. With each passing moment you drowned deeper, losing yourself in the desperate struggle of making his love known.

While he steadily stripped away your composure, his hands grabbed a tight hold of your waist, repositioning you ever closer to him.  You assisted in this effort, straddling him in a way that gave you a clear feel of just how excited this make-out session had made him.

Shaky hands went to cup his cheeks, your kisses matching his ferocity as you held his face gently, your thumbs tracing a feather light line just below his eyes. Excitement mounted as he began to buck against you, his eagerness causing a swell of anticipation within you. The exhaustion in your body temporarily assuaged, you teasingly grinded against him, causing a shudder to wrack his body. He groaned into your kiss, pleased by your cheeky display of affection.

Not wanting to lose the momentum, your hands began to trail down his neck to his chest. Manicured nails barely grazed his flushed skin as they went, leaving a string of raised goose bumps as they progressed down the valley of his body. Finally breaking the kiss, your lips went to trail his jawline, following the path your hands had just traveled. You couldn’t help but smile as he lulled his head to the side, granting you more access to the areas he was enjoying the attention the most. While soft kisses peppered his reddening flesh, you became enamored with how cute the scary and intense Taiju Shiba was behaving, taking great pleasure in knowing he only ever showed this side of himself to you.

Maybe in all these years you actually had become better at taming the beast inside him than you had given yourself credit for? It certainly seemed that way right now, Taiju no more than a sweet puppy melting under his master’s affection.

With a steady heat rising between the two of you, you were eager to make quick work of his clothing, desperately wanting to get to the main event of the night. Despite this however, you managed to keep your excitement in check, your hands working at the buttons of his expensive dress shirt in a cruelly slow pace. You wondered just how long you could draw out the anticipation before he grew overly impatient and just did it himself, or for that matter, if you could keep it up without giving into the anticipation yourself.

However, not long into your efforts to strip him you came across something unexpected- an odd wetness upon his chest, one that clung to your fingers the moment you touched it. At first you thought it may have just been sweat (he was very worked up after all), but as you got to the next button you realized that could not be the case. Why would he have so much sweat in just this concentrated area, and why did it feel so sticky?

Stopping what you were doing for a moment to inspect this mystery, your eyes widened as they glanced at your hand. Though the room was dark, the color was impossible to ignore. Your once pristine fingers were now coated in a vibrant, aggressive red.

Your eyes flicked to his chest, your breath hitching at what you saw. Not immediately apparent through the smoke and dim lighting, dark splotches covered his shirt, each of them varying sizes and intensity. The markings absolutely littered the front of his silky, sophisticated maroon shirt, but only the darkest one just above his belly still appeared wet.

Fear coursed through you. Was he hurt? Had someone come after him again, looking for some kind of revenge? Memories from that horrible Christmas night flooded your mind, the same terror of losing him invading your every thought, paralyzing you in his lap. You could hear the blood rush in your ears, each rapid beat of your heart no longer just a show of aroused exhilaration.

There was blood. He was covered in blood. This much blood meant someone had been very, very hurt. Taiju could be very, very hurt.

Yet as the seconds drew by, your fear of Taiju being mortally wounded began to fade. His body was stiff but steady, and there was absolutely no sign of the pain or discomfort that would surely accompany wounds that would cause this much blood. You could also feel no wound that may have been the source of these splotches of blood, no raised skin or torn flesh, and the moisture seemed greatest on the outside of his shirt. All signs pointed to this coming from an external source. When you glanced up at him looking for some reassurance or explanation, your troubled reflection in his fiery gaze gave you the only confirmation you needed.

But if this blood was not his, than whom did it belong to?

Before you could even pose the question, his lips had once more smashed against your own. This time, you tried your best to reject him, struggling to gain distance so you could address the blood he was littered in. While he didn’t relent to your attempts, his mouth did eventually leave yours in favor of your neck, giving you the opportunity to speak.

“T-taiju,” you squeaked, flustered by the confusing wave of terror and pleasure you were riding, “w-what’s going on? Whose blood is this?”

“I was mad, you know,” he panted against your neck, kissing and biting as he continued, “Real mad when I heard you had abandoned our date, a date I had planned so long to make perfect for you, just so you could pick up some losers shift at work.”

The kisses ceased for a moment in favor of nuzzling your neck, “It was messing me up inside. I knew I shouldn’t have been angry. My angel was just being her thoughtful, sweet, self after all. Doing what she could to support our business, help out our team…”

He ceased his movement, “Then I realized the true problem wasn’t your decision, it was the person who made you have to make the decision to begin with.”

Your blood ran cold as you understood where this story was leading, the horror of knowing whose blood was glued to your fingertips hitting you full force. Taiju seemed almost pleased by your reaction, his smile felt against your skin as he refocused on sucking lasting marks into your tender flesh. You wondered if he could feel your heart race through the pulse of your neck, and if he could, just how much that stimulated him.

“I wanted to pay this work boy you are so fond of a visit, just to check on him, make sure he was really enjoying that much needed time with his family. So I tracked him down, wanting verification with my own eyes that your sacrifice was being put to good use.”

He chuckled softly, the condescending air of it causing you to shudder. “I’ve always loved how kind you are, baby. You’re a true sweetheart, always wanting to believe the best in people. It really is very cute~,”

His mockingly sweet words were followed by a harsh bite, the teeth that sunk into your flesh causing an sudden, sharp pain. You cried out, feeling a trickle of blood begin to snake its way down your neck. He growled against you, “But you can be a real fucking dumbass, you know that?”

You cringed in pain, “What are you talking about?”

Taiju pulled back from you, his eyes boring into yours with a pointed intensity. “He was lying to you, (name). That little bastard went to some comedy show with his shitty little friends. And unless he has some deeply fucked up shit going on, I doubt the slut he had hanging off his arm was his dear sweet grandma he was so desperate to spend time with, or anyone else in his family for that matter. He lied to you, baby. There was no family get together-he just wanted to get his dick wet and fuck around with some of his buddies.”

“I was so pissed off that I could barely see straight,” he scoffed, his grip tightening in frustration as he continued with his tale, “I ended up going to a bar a few blocks away, one of the ones I own, to clear my head a bit and form a plan. Try to figure out how I was going to deal with this little asshole.” A cruel smile began to tug at his lips, twisting his expression into something maniacal, “But luck was on my side, because you’ll never guess who came stumbling into the building already damn near drunk just as I was getting ready to leave.”

You quickly shook your head, desperately wanting him to stop. You were already well aware of this stories ending and the fate that befell your younger coworker, you could be spared the gory details of the conclusion. But Taiju was not the kind of man to miss out on a ‘learning opportunity’, and if recounting his violent deeds could help you see things his way, remind you just how easily it was to slip back into the life you felt you had long since escaped from, he was more than happy to do so, your desires be damned.

Noting your quakes of terror, Taiju languidly dragged his knuckles over your cheek. His scabbed flesh scraped against you slowly, acting as a cruel confirmation of all that had transpired and all that was about to. While spoken softly, his words and battle scarred hands commanded you to be present, to be aware. His blood stained lips continued weaving his tale, each sentence burrowing deeper into your brain, inescapable as you crumbled beneath him.

“Dumbass was so busy gloating about himself and how easy it was to trick work to let him have the night off that he didn’t even notice his boss was just a few feet away at the bar, listening to every stupid fucking word that came out of his lying lips,” Taiju snorted, “I waited patiently for hours as they drank and drank, making himself even more of a blathering idiot in the process. Turns out the chick who seemed so into him before no longer had any interest in a piss-drunk nobody, so when they all finally got up to leave, he was quickly left to fend for himself and make it home on his own. Once the rest of them had dumped him, I followed him.”

 “Taiju… stop…”  The horror and disgust that griped you came out as a barely audible whisper. Maybe Yuki had lied to you and maybe he was a little obnoxious and lazy, but he was still a good kid. You certainly weren’t attached at the hip, you hardly knew more than the basics about him, but you still considered him a friend and he certainly didn’t deserve this.

But more than that, you couldn’t escape the sickening fact that you, in some twisted way, had a hand in all this. The realization that Taiju’s warped affection for you caused an innocent man to suffer, possibly even die, made the truth all the more bitter.

A cruel smile once more contorted Taiju’s face, his right hand snapping around your throat, yanking you forward until his mouth was pressed against your ear, “You’re gonna need to start looking for a new employee angel. This time, make sure to pick one that isn’t such a useless little bitch, alright?”

Without further provocation, he hoisted himself up, dragging you in tow. Making his way to the awaiting desk, he deposited you upon it roughly, miscellaneous office items digging into your back and ass as you flopped atop its wooden surface. Paper work, books, and pens all scattered to the ground as he climbed atop you, shedding the shirt you had tried to rid him of minutes prior. Your breathing grew haggard as he loomed over you, the previous exhilaration you had felt all but out the door as he glared down at you with all the turbulence of a storm. You made an attempt to reposition yourself on the hard desk but no matter how you writhed all you were met with was further discomfort, feeling as if you were an insect that had been pinned to a board for someone to gawk at.

“Taiju please-“

Your attempt at reasoning was quickly cut short by his hand once more landing on your throat, his thick fingers squeezing so hard your words were turned to choked gasps.

“Shut up,” he spat, holding tightly as you continued to struggle. After several seconds of torment had passed, he released his grip enough to allow you to breathe, though you were neither bold nor stupid enough to attempt a true escape.

So you stayed, trapped beneath him like a caged animal, wrapped in silence that was only permeated by the sound of your combined heavy breathing and the crackling of nearby flames. After a solid minute had passed, Taiju placed his free hand in his pocket, fishing around until he eventually procured a small, stylish, black box.

Finally breaking eye contact with you, he regarded the small box, turning it this way in that in his hand for several moments before finally releasing a heavy sigh.

“I really wanted to do this right, (Name). I had it all planned perfectly. Starting out with dinner at your favorite restaurant, followed by a nice orchestra concert at the music hall… The performance in question was going to be playing some of your favorites, you know? I figured you’d like that, seeing it played in person. Not that it matters now.” He tutted bitterly before continuing, “After that, a romantic late night walk in that little park just down the street from here, the one with all the night lilies that only bloom once the sun has set. Even what I was going to say when we ended the night by the pond in the center of the park, the one that has all the koi in it? I figured it would really leave a lasting impression, me getting down on one knee in front of its little fountain… “

He released a breezy laugh, “It had all been rehearsed in my head to hell and back, so much so I was fucking dreaming about it, counting down the days until it would happen for real. It was all going to be perfect.”

The full realization of Taiju’s plans suddenly became crystal clear, a myriad of emotions coursing through you as you stared up at him with pleading eyes, “Taiju, I’m sorry. How could I have known? If I had any idea I never would have agreed to take his shift.” The dreamy look that had overcome his features quickly diminished at your words, a grimace replacing his small, meaningful smile when he refocused from his fantasy, back to the present reality. “I guess my little angel was so taken by other peoples bullshit that she forgot

that even todays date is special,” he snorted derisively, “Let me jog your memory and get you up to speed, baby. Today was the day I first met you all those years ago on that junky little playground. Today was the day my life changed forever, for the better- all because you came into it. It’s a date I could never forget, even if I wanted to. ”

He leaned forward a bit, his glare growing sharper as his nose nearly touched yours.

“But I guess that doesn’t mean much to you, huh?”

You had never been particularly good at dates. Even the birthdays of those closest to you needed to be stored in your phone to be remembered. It wasn’t from a lack of you caring, more so a kind of personal flaw. Life always seemed to come at you so fast that things that weren’t at the forefront of the day, week, or even month were much more likely to get lost in the flow of it all, including important or personal dates. It was just an unfortunate quirk of who you were. You meant nothing malicious by it.

Taiju had been in your life so long that after a certain time all of your anniversaries began to mush together in your mind. The initial meeting with him had happened so long ago you could barely remember the season it happened, let alone the month or day. Nevertheless, you could clearly recall the date you had made your relationship publicly official. That was, after all, the date both yourself and Taiju put priority on when it came to anniversary celebrations. Never before had he made such a big show of acknowledging the date you met as children, most years when the day came he never even mentioned it, let alone celebrated it in any way. So to garner such hostility over not realizing the correlation alarmed you.

“That’s not true,” you whimpered, tears starting to flood your eyes, “you know that’s not true, Taiju. We just had our dating anniversary last month and I didn’t forget that, I have never forgotten that! We’ve never celebrated our initial meeting previously, so to act like I am being uncaring is just cruel!” You sniffled, “I was only ever just trying to help the restaurant, to help YOU by filling in where help was needed! So why… why are you acting this way? Why are you doing this?”

 A look of brief regret flashed in his eyes, and for a moment, you had hope. Hope that he realized just how unreasonable and ridiculous he was being. Hope that he recognized that all that hard work he had put in to improving himself, to becoming a better person, was not what he was exhibiting currently to the woman he loved. Hope that he realized he needed to get a grip, apologize, and push his ferocious instincts aside in lieu of coming back to you-come back to being the supportive, loving man he had worked so hard to become.

But nearly as soon as it came, that brief moment of reflection was gone.

“Maybe I am being harsh,” His voice was low as he hovered over you, a deep frown engulfing his face, “but sometimes that’s necessary to show the people you care for just how much you love them. I already took care of the major problem that plagued this night, now I just need to remind my sweet better half exactly who takes precedence in her life.”

Setting the ring box down by your head, he grabbed hold of your hips and abruptly smashed himself against you, the erection straining his pants demanding you to concede to his desire.

“Direct action always worked better with you anyway, baby.”

Once more his lips found yours, working tirelessly as if to devour you whole. You struggled to keep up, placing your hands against his chest in a weak attempt to grant yourself reprieve. This only seemed to make him hungrier, his kisses growing sloppier and more demanding by the moment. His bottom half grinded into you, the friction causing twitches of forced pleasure to jolt your body.

As his lips continued to dominate, his hands followed suit. He hastily discarded your shirt and bra, latching on to your chest the moment he was able. Scorching hands kneaded your breasts mercilessly, his violent ministrations causing you to recoil. You could feel yourself bruise under his touch, and when his mouth went from engulfing your lips to assaulting your breasts your body shuddered through the discomfort. You groaned as he bit and suckled at the abused, sensitive flesh, your pained reactions causing him to grow more frenzied.

“Taiju stop,” you spoke with a shaky voice, your hands squeezing his shoulders tightly, “You are being too rough, it hurts.”

“You’ve been through worse,” he growled between kisses, “And it wouldn’t be much of a lesson to you if it didn’t hurt a little, right angel?”

While he spoke, you heard the faint sound of a zipper, followed by the sound of ruffled fabric. Shortly after he gruffly hiked up your skirt, swiftly yanking your panties down to your knees, leaving you exposed to him. Though you had been trapped in this position before, it had been some time since he had become so unhinged during the process and longer still since he had fucked you in such a state. Stuck in this situation, you began to thrash about, hopelessly seeking escape.

His heavy breathing and bestial demeanor reminded you so vividly of the past, of all the times he would be coming off the high of a fight or overcome with rage at a perceived slight against himself, his siblings, or God forbid, you. Taiju could never control himself in those moments, and when his unchecked passions would inevitably take over he became an entirely different person. Someone merciless and potent, becoming so vile it was like he was no longer a human at all.

He became a monster.

And now you had to face the consequences of awakening this monster.  You were the catalyst, the ignition, the source that drew out the wicked that lurked inside of Taiju. And because of this, because of who you were to him, you would always, always be his quarry.

You felt his hot, hard tip prod against your opening, causing your body to lurch. He chuckled darkly at the response, releasing a shuddered sigh of his own as his shaky palm went to your cheek. Caressing it, he gruffly planted a kiss on your other cheek, his tongue darting out a bit to swipe at your tears. He rubbed his tip slowly against your opening, a move that under normal circumstances had you begging him to hurry up and take you. This time however, it only caused more tears to pool in your eyes before spilling down your reddened cheeks. Words having left you, you shook your head vigorously, hoping he would have a last minute change of heart and stop his assault.

Your pathetic attempt was in vain, he trembled with eagerness as he pushed a bit harder, his precum smearing against your folds as he began to dip into you. “Cute,” he murmured as you sobbed and twitched beneath him, “So fucking cute.”

“I usually like to prep you a little more before I fuck you,” his voice was laced with a cruel softness as he spread your legs wider, opening you up for the taking. “But I just can’t wait tonight. It’s going to hurt angel, and you are just going to have to take it.”

Without any further warning, his hips snapped against yours, entering you fully with a quick and brutal thrust. For a moment all you saw was stars, an all-encompassing burning pain following shortly after. You cried out as he proceeded in pulling back, slamming back into you with an even greater force, giving you no chance to get used to the sudden intrusion. The desk shook beneath you as your body swayed with each slam of his hips, hiccupped sobs spilling from your lips as your fingernails dug into the flesh of his broad shoulders, gripping for dear life as he had his way with you.

Taiju’s shaky breaths grew into wanton moans as he fucked you, his dark eyes glazing over in lust as they lulled back in his head. Each ram inside of you hit with such potency you felt as if you were being impaled, torn apart by his savage advance. Wracked with mortification, you tried to avert your gaze, wanting desperately to will yourself away from the agony that was being inflicted upon you. Taiju was quick to cull the attempt, his sweaty hand grabbed onto your chin, keeping your head in place. Giving a warning squeeze, he spoke down to you.

“Don’t look away, pretty girl,” he rasped, desire dripping from his words, “Focus on me and only me. Feel every inch of me inside of you and know who you belong to.”

A particularly rough thrust caused a scream to tear from your throat. Garbled cries continued to croak past your lips as you felt his engorged length drag against your walls, forcibly claiming you over and over as he prodded his way inside, inserting himself into the deepest part of you.

“God angel, you feel so good,” he snarled, remaining completely blind to your dismay through his mounting euphoria. In his state of blissful ignorance, he planted a chaste kiss to your forehead, a motion that seemed overly sweet given the circumstances. “You were made for me and only me. God put you on this earth for me to love.”

He took a deep, quivering breath, exhaling the words “And I love you so fucking much.”

Another intense thrust elicited another cry, more stars dotting your vision. He paused for a moment, staying sheathed inside of you as he gave you a much needed chance to collect yourself. His throbbing dick filled you to the brim as he hovered over you, panting from exertion and barely contained arousal.

You gasped as you felt his finger suddenly press against your bud. Pulses of pleasure began finding their way through the pain, becoming stronger with each stroke of his fingers. “It feels better when we come together,” he spoke through labored breaths, proceeding to rock into you once more, “My good girl has taken this little punishment so well, she’s -”

A lustful grunt interrupted his words as you clenched around him involuntarily, “Fuck angel,” he cursed, intensifying his pace until the liquid pooling between your legs was more than just his arousal, “I’m such a goddamn softie for you, but I can’t help giving my girl a reward after she’s been so good for me.”

His free hand went to your breast, his fingers delicately pinching and rubbing against your perked nipple, treating you much gentler than he had previous. His mouth went to your other breast, his tongue swirling and sucking in the same manner, working diligently to make sure that this time he would elicit no pain, seeking only your satisfaction.

He continued rolling his hips, pumping his dick inside of you at a hypnotic pace. Your senses were assaulted, feeling impossibly full as he rocked into you, his mouth and hands working in tandem with his hips to cause buzzes of pleasure to radiate throughout your entire body. All tension and fear had melted away as he continuously exploited all your weak points, feeding your extreme desire. His continuous fanning of your flames brought about an intense wave of longing. A heady need was beginning to consume you, and you worried that if you burned much hotter, you would be unable to untangle yourself from the raging passion that coursed within you.

Overcome with pleasure, you were becoming nearly delirious as he rhythmically worked his built frame against yours. You bucked your hips against his, your body starting to shake with your imminent release. Taiju cursed above you, gritting his teeth as he picked up his pace. He scooped you up in his embrace, lifting you so that you were once more straddling him. He watched you with hungry, bestial eyes as you bounced on him, chasing your own pleasure while his strong grip guided you, “So close angel,” he choked out, his eyes snapping shut as your walls fluttered around him, “Fuck I can’t hold it back any longer…”

As fate would have it, you could no longer hold on either. Spilling over the edge, you latched on to him in a tight hug. Your arms snaked around his neck as you convulsed around him, sobs of pleasure mingling with calls of his name as you rode out your rapturous high. He came seconds later, holding you against him just as tightly, spilling himself inside of you as he called out a string of unintelligible praises. As his essence pumped inside of you, his body shook with the release. Tears squeezed from his eyes while he lost himself in blissful contentment, melting into your embrace.

The moments that followed seemed like a dream, leaving you a mixture of elated, hesitant, and confused. He remained inside of you with his arms wrapped snuggly across your back, steadying breaths huffing sporadically against your neck. Despite the severe discontent he had previously displayed, he seemed completely at ease now, tranquil in the afterglow of his orgasm.

“I want to make you happy. I want to be a good man for you.”

His breathy whisper pulled you back down to earth. Repositioning himself, Taiju sat you once more atop the desk. You shivered as he withdrew his softening cock from your folds, his seed spilling from within you to litter its fine oak surface.

“But I can only take so much, (Name). It’s in your best interest to remember that angel, remember where it is that you belong. But if you forget again, here is a reminder.”

He reached behind you, taking the ring box into his grasp. You had little time to marvel the beautiful rock within as he unceremoniously took the ring between his fingers, flinging the fancy box to the ground. Without waiting for you to offer it, he grabbed your left hand, forcing it down your ring finger with a decisive shove.

“You already agreed to this,” he whispered in your ear, his thumb roughly stroking the fat gem of the ring, “back when you told me you would always stand beside me. That makes you mine, forever.”

He kissed you deeply once more, only breaking away to impart one final message.

He loved the way you smelled, though those strange sprays you coated your body with were a bit much for his liking. He preferred your natural scent, the one you always tried to mask for whatever reason, the one that differentiated you from the rest of the herd. He could pick it out from anywhere at any time no matter how far from him you strayed, but it would become especially pungent when you were worked up or excited. He relished those moments, pleased to get a whiff of it through the artificial cover of stinking flowers and fruits. Heady and ambrosial, he would bask in your natural essence, inhaling it deeply as if he were receiving a treat.

He also loved the way you sounded, though your words made no sense to him. All the people that surrounded him seemed to make the same kinds of noises, their lips forming sounds that he was sure held all manner of meaning, but none of it he was privy to. Not that it mattered to him really. Different forms of communication suited him much better than spoken word ever could anyway, and despite the lack of common speech he shared with his new peers, he got by just fine. When Pickle bared his teeth or showed open pleasure, those that were nearby seemed to understand him all the same, so there had never been much need to put thought into their dialogue.

… That was, until he met you. It frustrated him sometimes, when you would speak to him with words he could not comprehend. When you talked with a smile he could assume he did something pleasing, or at the very least you weren’t upset, but when you would frown and raise your voice… What exactly was upsetting you? If it was something he did he wanted to correct it right away, your pretty smile suited you much better than a grumpy frown did. He’d do just about anything to keep it on your face forever, if only he knew the words to say or understood the specific requests you spoke to make that happen. The sounds that spilled from your throat… What praises and admonishments was he missing? What words could he say back to keep you smiling, laughing, happy? He wanted to know, struggled to know, but the language barrier was just too great, leaving him distraught and guessing.

When you spoke to other people (other men particularly) and they understood you perfectly, chuckling and nodding, responding to you in kind… It upset him. Who were they to communicate with you so freely? Who were they to speak with you so openly, when all he could seem to get across was rudimentary ideas and feelings? Even if he loved to hear the cadence of your voice, the lack of understanding and the annoyance these mysterious conversations caused was something he couldn’t quite shake.

But even with all the adoration he felt for you, there was one, and only one, thing he didn’t love about you- your tears.

In his era, cries from your mate meant one of a small handful of things. They were hurt and/or scared, there was a threat nearby and they needed protection, or they simply needed their mates help with something. Regardless of which of these options may have brought on the tears, it was always very easy to figure out what the situation was and for the other party to act accordingly.

But each time you cried was a conundrum. You never seemed to shed just a few tears, throwing your heart into full on wailing at the top of your lungs each time your eyes began to remotely water. Whenever this would occur he would momentarily panic, scooping your perturbed body up to force you against his chest, desperate in his attempt to ascertain a cause of concern that would bring you to this state, one that he could never seem to find. He’d turn your body around this way and that, scouring every inch of you with his eyes and hands to check and see if he could pinpoint any wounds or blood. But while you thrashed and fought as he carried out his inspection, his hands always came back clean, and you never seemed to show particular distress when he pressed down on any given area of your body (save for your more private areas, but you always put up a fuss with those). He’d investigate your surrounding area, prowling for anyone or anything that may have scared you or caused alarm, but found nary a soul or item out of place that could have caused you such distress.

That only left the third option- that you were looking to him for help. But help with what? He had already secured you in the safest place he could find, nestling you far away from any potential threats or creatures that could cause you harm. Though he knew you were not a fan of the dank, malodorous, stone underbelly of the village, it was something you would have to get used to. Keeping you elsewhere was simply too risky. Besides, this area was familiar to him, being not unlike some of the cave dwellings of his old home. And with the pathways being so straightforward and long, he could easily monitor surrounding activity and hide you away should someone show up to cause problems (not that anyone would, most seemed to ignore this place entirely, which was another one of its many appeals).

The paths also snaked deep underground, with exits leading rather far out from the more bustling areas of civilization. It made it easy to hunt and gather, so he had no problems providing you with food, clothing, bedding-anything at all you may need he brought to you, and he was happy to do so. He took honor in being your provider, your lover, your mate.

You were safe, you were cared for, and you were loved by him. He showed it in every way he could, serving and providing in ways that went above and beyond what any other potential partner could do for you. Down here in the depths, he shielded you from all that may have hurt you in your old life. Maybe he didn’t understand your speech, but he could clearly see the toll living with the others above ground was taking on you. Each slump of your shoulder and sigh from your lips was recorded in his memory, the weary look you often wore as you pushed yourself harder than necessary haunted his thoughts until he was pushed into action. Every man whose misplaced comments made you scowl had met a grisly end by his hands, assuring they would never bother you again. Every stress of your old life had been removed, all of the agonies of your previous day to day a thing of the past.

Now the only thing you had to focus on was being a good mate to him- a skill you already excelled at by simply existing. You had no need to be sad, you were perfect, and he was doing all he could to show you this.

So why? Why did you always cry?

Even now as he was buried deep inside of you, the pleasure of feeling you stretch to accommodate his massive size so intense he could barely maintain his sanity, tears continued to spill freely from your eyes.  There was absolutely no reason for them- you were always such a good girl for him, bringing him pleasure and joy he scarcely believed was achievable. If anything you should be proud about how well you take him, about how incredibly good you were making him feel, about how flawless you were as his mate. He loved you, he adored you, he would do any and everything for you, and he planned on doing so until his dying day.

Yet still, you cried.

He couldn’t keep them from happening, and he couldn’t think of any other way to stop them, so the least he could do is try and staunch them for a bit. Holding your face still between his hands, he laved his rough tongue slowly over the apples of your cheeks, passing over your tightly clenched eyes in an attempt to cleanse you of your malaise. Time and time again he lapped at your face like a mother lion cleaning it’s cub, moving from the left cheek to the right cheek in quick succession to drink up as many of your salty tears as he could.

Eventually it seemed to work, or at least it caused your upset sobbing to turn into little more than gentle mewling. Maybe you were just doing this to appease him, or perhaps you were finally sharing in the immense pleasure he had been experiencing, overshadowing whatever negative feelings caused you to cry to begin with. Regardless, the tears were trickling to a standstill, and while they weren’t completely quelled, seeing them diminish caused him to smile brightly. He could consider this a victory.

But as he stared down at your tear stained face, moist and red from a mixture of his saliva and your own upset, he couldn’t deny that there wasn’t a charm to witnessing you in such a state. As he picked up his pace, reaching a particularly sweet spot inside of you, you began to scream out, overcome with the intensity of it all. Once more water seeped into your eyes, and he watched mesmerized as fat tears slid down your face, accompanied by whimpers each time his brutal pacing brushed your core. The way your tears accented your ecstasy, adding to the breath taking view only he would ever have the delight of seeing, he couldn’t find himself hating your cries any longer.

Maybe he had been misguided this whole time, realizing now that this may just be another special attribute of yours. He was starting to understand you better, and felt a fool for being so mistaken for so long. Your cries were unique, acting as a sign of immense happiness, not distress. He laughed slightly at his own blunder, it wouldn’t be the first time he had misunderstood you, but this certainly was the most ridiculous miscommunication.

“Mommy this one is you!”

Your eyes traveled to the picture she was rapidly tapping, “An African Wildcat, huh?” You smirked down at the little girl in amusement, “Why did you pick that one for me?”

“Because it looks just like you!”

You chuckled at her enthusiasm, “It looks like me? How so?”

“It has marks just like you do!”

Her innocuous words sent a chill up your spine. Eying the stripes that crossed the cat’s legs, you felt a great unease begin to overtake your body. Her reasoning was not lost on you, the cats coat did quite resemble the jagged scars that covered nearly every inch of your body, and just like the feline in her book, your limbs were the most prominent location of said ‘markings’. You quickly shook your head, not wanting to dwell on it further. In hopes of moving on from the subject, the outpouring of words that flew from your mouth were jumbled and messy.

“O-oh, I see,” you stuttered, clearing your throat to steady your voice, “well you certainly picked a cute animal for me! Thank you baby, it was a good choice.”

She smiled at you innocently, a gesture that usually made your heart melt with affection. But as her tiny hands moved from the book to your arms, that smile did nothing but fill you with dread, the realization that you wouldn’t be getting out of this sticky situation hitting you like a brick to the face. 

“Yeah mommy, the kitty’s marks are just like these ones,” her stubby fingers gently traced the old wounds, a look of reverence reflected on her cherubic features. “They make you look like that kitty mommy,” her little voice cooed, “I like them a lot!”

Your muscles constricted at her words, a slight tremor coursing through you as you involuntarily tightened your grip on her. She took note of this, looking up at your strained features with a puzzled expression on her face.

“Don’t be sad mommy,” she spoke assuredly, “I really do like them! I think they are pretty!”

Her words burned you, scorching the inside of your frozen shell of a body, leaving you feeling sickly and discombobulated. The room around you started to spin in a hazy blur, a wave of nausea making you nearly wretch. Your breathing grew erratic as you tried to calm yourself, inwardly repeating that your daughter was just a child, a little girl barely four years of age who had an incredibly limited view of the world. Her words were not meant to upset you. Her opinions were coming from a place of total naivety.

Yet still, the mental assurance did little to help with the extremely uncomfortable position you now founds yourself in. It wasn’t as if this was her first time noticing your scars. She had mentioned them before, her curious mind trying to piece together the reason that her arms appeared different from your own. Each time she brought your old wounds up you couldn’t help but feel flustered, responding with weak explanations and misdirection to try and quickly brush off her questioning.

The marks came from a silly mistake, or a childhood accident, or from a careless moment when mommy should have been paying more attention. It was always excuses on repeat. How many lies had you told her on this topic alone?

But even if they were lies, it beat telling her the truth. You didn’t want to have to explain where the scars on your body actually came from to anyone, let alone a child, and especially not to your own daughter. How could you possibly word it gently, or in a way that she would understand, when you barely understood why you had them yourself? How could you look her in the eye and tell her that these markings were a permanent sign that you had been very, very hurt and that it was her own fathers hands that inflicted the pain?

Reliving the horrific moments that left your body in such a state was overwhelming enough on its own, but to also have to lay bare her father’s sins, relay to her the unsavory proclivities of a man who she idolized and adored, was not something you were keen on doing.

She didn’t know her daddy like you knew him. She was ignorant to the constant state of concern you lived in, unaware of the worries that plagued your mind and kept you up each night. All the troubles of the hell she had been born into were completely lost on the small, carefree girl.

But honestly that was for the best. You had made an unspoken promise the moment she entered your life that you would protect her no matter what. From the day of her birth onward it became your mission to keep her as happy and healthy as possible.

Ren had broken you, but she did not have to suffer the same fate.

At this point in her life, your daughter knew nothing of her daddy’s profession or ‘hobbies’, and you wanted it to remain that way for as long as possible, if not for the rest of her life. You dreaded each time Ren came home from an auction, terrified he may let casually slip too many details about his ‘lively client’ or that he would carelessly step through the door with the stains of his liaisons still littering his clothes. Your daughter was at an age where she was brimming with questions, and she was relentless in getting answers to each question she asked. Everything had to be explained in complete detail for her to be satisfied, drop the subject, and move on. She was a smart little thing, possibly too smart for her own good. You highly doubted a silly joke or wave of the hand would assuage her whirring mind should Ren grow too impetuous in her presence.

And should her questioning become too pesky, you fretted over what Ren’s reaction to it may be. The more you tried to avoid thinking about it the more you seemed to fixate on the topic, pondering just how much goading it would take from your daughter before his temper would rear its ugly head.  You, above anyone, had firsthand experience in just how volatile the man could be, the scars that littered your body a testament to his turbulent emotions and violent outbursts.

Looking back on it now, it’s a wonder you survived any of it at all.

Ren often told you he loved you, each confession spoken through honeyed words that spilled from his lips easily and often.  And while you didn’t doubt those words (you knew better than to, at this point), you also knew his sweet nothings weren’t merely a term of endearment, they also served as your curse. He loved you, but he also loved your fealty to him, your adoration and worship of him and only him. Should you not reciprocate his feelings as quickly or ardently as he expected, the mere thought of whatever punishment he would concoct was enough to send you into a debilitating panic attack.

There were few things he loathed more than when you flinched from his affection or if you exhibited any sign of distress towards his presence, especially after he had spent so many years going above and beyond to provide for you, devote himself to you. You had learned early on to keel any feelings of aversion you had to his advances, several of your more prominent scars a brutal reminder of that misstep alone.

 If your daughter uncovered the truth and saw her father for who he truly was, if she began to fear him the way you feared him, how would he respond?  If not only his partner, but his own daughter started shying away from him, what length would he go to to correct this behavior?

Dwelling on it made your skin crawl.

But perhaps all of your worries were asinine. Despite his inclination for cruelty, Ren had never so much as raised a hand towards your daughter, even when she did act up. If anything, he was overprotective of her, barely letting her move faster than a brisk jog lest she fall and hurt herself. He hated seeing his little girl experience even a modicum of physical pain, mentioning to you previously that were he able, he’d keep her locked up in a padded room all day and night to prevent any foreseeable accidents or injuries. Surely it was just his idea of a joke, but the insinuation still made you cringe.

It was almost comical, just how greatly the manifestation of his affection for her differed from how he showed his love for you.

His domineering nature shielded her from experiencing any true pain. Every scrape, bruise, and cut she ever received was superficial, nothing that caused major bleeding or left a lasting impression. She had no way of knowing what had been done to you to cause the scars that marred your form, the torment and hell you experienced with each slash, smack, burn. Hell, she probably didn’t even really understand what a scar actually was. All she knew was that her mommy and daddy had strange marks on their skin that didn’t follow any kind of set pattern, weird jagged lines and indents that her soft skin was curiously free from. The mystery of it all was as puzzling to her young mind as it was enticing.

However, some mysteries were best left unsolved, and just as with each other time she brought up this hot topic, you found yourself unable to look into her clear, bright eyes and tell her any semblance of the truth. She may have been forced upon you, but she was your daughter. You loved her, and you refused to be the one to shatter her innocence. You would keep her ignorant for as long as possible, shielding her to the endless nightmare of your daily lives, even if it cost you your sanity.

“Mommy,” her voice jarred you, dragging you from your thoughts, “mommy did you hear me? I said I think they are pretty!”

“T-that’s… I…” You stuttered, struggling to find the right words to say, your voice coming out much smaller than you intended it to. The room felt like it had dropped thirty degrees, your body twitching in response to the sudden chill.

“Daddy told me he gave some of them to you, like this one,” her pudgy, cold finger pressed into the faded heart that resided on your chest, the first of many indelible sins he had etched onto your form. Only the top half of the carved symbol was viewable above the collar of your shirt, so she tugged at the loose hem until she could see it in its horrible entirety.

“Daddy said he gave you this one because he loves you so much,” her voice grew quiet, a thoughtful look in her eye as they drank in wounds you wished you could forget, “Daddy loves me too, right mommy? You think he’ll give me a cute heart someday too?”

You felt as if you had been hit by a train.

“S-top,” the words were forced from your throat, airy and breathless, as if someone was wringing your neck to make them come out, “p-please, just stop talking.”

“What did you say mama,” your daughters sing-song voice responded as her fingers continued to trace and prod your scars, “You are whispering, is it a secret?”

“I told you to SHUT UP!”

As if following your command, your booming voice instantly silenced the small girl. Unused to such a violent outburst from her mother, her happy-go-lucky nature quickly shifted to one of alert, her tiny body going rigid as she stared up at you with fearful eyes.

Seeing her in such a state and knowing that you were the cause of it would normally have killed you inside, making you fall to your knees to beg for the child’s forgiveness. But right now, the thin thread that had been holding you together had snapped, and your words rushed out in a torrent you couldn’t begin to quell.

“Shut up, shut up, shut UP!” You seethed, clasping your hands to your ears to try and block out your own intrusive voice, “Just STOP TALKING about it! What are you even saying? Why would you ever want to look like this?!”

Tears started to flood your eyes, blurring the image of the girl who had quickly jumped from your lap and was now cowering before you. Through your bleary vision, you could see tears were brimming her eyes as well.

“You… You have no idea,” your voice warbled, shaking in equal parts grief and frustration, “You have no clue what you are saying, so just STOP IT. KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND DON’T YOU DARE SPEAK OF IT AGAIN!”

You slunk from the chair down to the floor, burying your face in your cold, stiff hands. The soft blubbering of your daughter could be heard through your own sobbing.

“I-I’m sorry mommy. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

Hearing her broken voice began to shatter the spell you had been under, instant regret jerking you roughly back to reality. Your head sunk lower, your body scrunching itself up as tightly as possible to hide from this cruel reality.

Your screams were born from deeply buried feelings of hatred, tucked far, far away as a means of self-preservation. For a moment, you felt as if you despised your daughter, her existence tethering you to this wretched excuse of a life, binding you irrevocably to Ren. But as you lifted your heavy head, glancing up to stare into her young face, a face so very similar to your own, a face contorted in panic and sadness over her mother’s abrupt descent into madness… you realized it wasn’t her that you hated.

It was yourself.

Your daughter didn’t deserve this. She deserved normalcy. She deserved a father that didn’t pose a threat to her. She deserved a mother that wasn’t ruined by his hands. She deserved a happy and untroubled life, not to be stuck being raised in a barbed cage, navigating her way through life with nothing but the shattered remains of a battered woman to guide her.

“I’m so sorry,” you choked under the weight of your overwhelming emotions, snot and tears running freely down your ruddy cheeks and chin, “I’m so, so sorry baby…”

“What the hell is going on?”

You hadn’t heard the front door open, nor had you heard Ren’s jubilant greeting as he entered your home. He had no doubt been upset by the lack of welcome-it was one thing to be ignored by a child, but his doting wife? That was not something he was not apt to look past.

But surely any feelings of annoyance or frustration fled from his mind the moment he entered the room, his eyes falling upon your crumpled, messy form collapsed on the floor. You cursed his arrival, upset that he entered the scene at such a compromising time, right as you were struggling to regain an ounce of composure and properly apologize to the little girl who had done nothing wrong.

“D-daddy,” your daughter’s voice warbled as she barreled towards him, colliding into his waiting embrace. You wiped at your face in a desperate attempt to hide your previous outpouring of emotions, doing your best to avoid eye contact with Ren as his sharp gaze quickly flicked from you, to his daughter.

This had already become enough of a scene without Ren’s interference, it was best to try and begin damage control now. 

“Daddy I-I made mommy cry!” Tears continued to pour from your daughter’s eyes, her face twisting into a look of pure dismay. Her misguided admission of guilt made you recoil, knowing full well it would grant her no favors with the person she seeking comfort from. “I’m really sorry daddy! I didn’t mean to!”

After several endless seconds of silence, Ren spoke.

“… You made her cry?”

His voice was far sharper than it needed to be, further agitating the precarious state of affairs. In most cases he would have offered your daughter leniency, letting her get away with far more than she probably should. However that leniency was null and void if you ended up suffering in the process.  Ren could not forgive anyone that caused you any duress (himself, of course, being the exemption) even if that person was his own flesh and blood.

“What do you mean you made her cry? What the hell did you do to her?”

“I-I don’t know,” she wailed, a fresh wave of tears spurred on by the accusatory tone of her father’s voice, “I just told mommy I thought her marks were pretty and then she started crying! I wasn’t lying daddy, I like them! I think they make mommy look really pretty!”

“Her marks…?” Ren’s look of vexation began to dissipate as the meaning of her words donned on him. He lifted his arm, rolling up his sleeve to reveal his own scars to the little girl. Pointing a clawed finger to them, he leaned down until he was looking her in the eye, “You mean like these?”

As she nodded her head vigorously in confirmation, Ren tutted, “That’s the reason for all the water works? An innocent compliment started all this fussing?” He scoffed, shaking his head, “Isn’t that a little bit… silly?

You tensed at the sound of his barking laugh, your frown deepening as an amused grin spread wider across his lips. You wished that you could say it was shocking for him to have such disregard after finding the two of you in such an agitated state, but it was painfully in character of him to shrug off your misery and suffering as inconsequential.  How he could so nonchalantly normalize this hellish situation he kept you and your child ensnared in, you would never understand.

Your daughter was apparently sharing similar thoughts, as her face began to once more morph into a pre-sobbing scowl. She was no doubt wounded that her father was not offering her the comfort she was seeking, her emotional state already greatly weakened by her mother’s venomous tantrum.

To help quell another round of tears, Ren pulled the child closer, wrapping her up in his arms so that her tiny form was nearly enveloped by him.  “Shhh, no more tears angel,” he cooed sweetly, patting her head gently to appease her, “There isn’t any reason to cry, especially because… Well, you’re right! Mommy’s whole body is pretty, isn’t it? Her marks just compliment the beauty that’s already there.”

Slowly but surely, her tears began to dissipate. Hunched over shoulders loosened, and sniffles and hiccups gave way to even breathing. Like clockwork, her father’s gentle handling soothed her, the same touch that destroyed you offering her salvation.

As if under a spell, the turmoil that had overcome your daughter quickly began to vanish, her sobbing fading into quiet sniffles. Once she was fully calmed, Ren continued speaking, “That’s all you meant to say to mommy, right angel? I’m sorry she took it the wrong way, she’s probably just tired or hungry, you know how mommy gets. She’ll get over it in no time flat!”

Heat spread through your body at his flippant dismissal of your feelings, an indignant blush lighting your cheeks as you gripped your hands tightly at your side. Your previous emotional episode left you all but drained, but your will to fight back against his callous commentary could never truly be contained.

“In fact, I bet she is already over it now,” Ren’s voice took on a jovial tone as he directed his focus solely on you, “Aren’t you, pumpkin?”

With the ball suddenly in your court, you flinched as both sets of expectant eyes fell on you. Your own eyes darted from Ren’s piercing glare, down to your daughter’s wide-eyed look of unbridled hope. You felt much like the rabbit that had been caught by the fox, stuck in a lose-lose situation. Seeing him hunched over her small body as she clutched to him as a life line, openly concerned that her mother may once more reject her while her father remained a bastion of strength and understanding, left you reeling. Either you would get heated again and stay the villain, but possibly hold on to an ounce of your dignity, or concede to Ren and have yet another piece of your soul wither away and die-the price to pay so that your daughter could remain in blissful ignorance for another day.

“Aren’t you, pumpkin?” He repeated himself slowly, enunciating each word. The kindness in his voice serving only as a mask for the threat buried beneath.

“Y-yes,” you responded quickly, shooting them both a smile you hoped was convincing, “I am very sorry, baby. Daddy is right. Mommy is just… tired.”

A serene smile lit her face, your words placating her. Seeing her happy once more helped relieve a bit of the ache in your own heart, making the lie worth it.

“Good, good,” Ren affirmed with a nod, carefully detaching himself from your daughter as he stood, “but you know little one, mommy deserves some love too, don’t you think? She may have been in the wrong, but it’s not nice to make her cry like that. Why don’t you go give her a hug, hm?”

With no further persuading necessary, she quickly padded over to you, hopping on your lap with so much enthusiasm that it nearly knocked the wind from you. Her arms tightly latched around your torso as she smushed her face into your chest, rubbing it back and forth like she was trying to burrow beneath your skin.

“I love you mommy,” her voice spoke clearly, any hint of previous sadness long gone. You sighed, relieved that this dramatic chapter was over as you pulled your daughter closer to you.

“I love you too.”

During this show of affection, Ren had made his way behind you, slinking so deftly you hadn’t even known he had moved until you heard him chuckle softly behind you.

“This is what I like to see,” he spoke with a sickeningly dreamy sigh, “nothing makes me happier than when my two girls are happy.”

He placed his hands gingerly atop your shoulders, trailing them down until they rested on your arms. His thumbs pressed gently against the marred skin, rubbing in a small circular motion in an attempt to subdue you. His claws grazed your flesh, uncomfortably scratching against you as they snagged against your skin.

He planted a firm and lingering kiss to the side of your head, pulling away just enough that his lips grazed the shell of your ear. “There really was nothing to cry about,” he whispered breathily, his words quiet enough that despite your daughters’ proximity, she would have no chance of hearing them. “It’s almost unfair how gorgeous you are, scars and all. But you must know that, right my sweet pet? I tell you all the time.”

Ren took in a deep breath, releasing it in a shaky sigh, “Seeing these scars reminds me of all we have been through, all that we share. They are a symbol of our bond.”

One of his claws pressed down sharply, a small bead of blood pooling around the piercing. Leisurely he began to drag his finger up your arm, a thin red line following in its wake. You shivered at the burning sensation, but deigned to give him any reaction further than that.

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˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗Gouki Shibukawa˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

·         Shibukawa truly is a wild card. You have no idea what to expect when this man calls on your services. He’s hired you for things as mild as enjoying afternoon tea with him and as raunchy as participating in the most degenerate sexual roleplay you can possibly imagine (consensually, of course).

·         So even though he’s one of your older benefactors, he is certainly far from boring. In fact, you can’t help but get excited whenever he reaches out to you, wondering what he may have in store for your meet up.

·         Shibukawa is one of the less sentimental of the sugar daddies. There is definitely no mistaking that your relationship is strictly for pleasure, and as a side effect of that his private life is a virtual mystery to you. You have your suspicions about what he does with his spare time, but should you pry too much he’ll swiftly and efficiently end the conversation, focusing his attention instead on the sweeter side of your affair.

·         However, he is far from cold. Shibukawa always treats you extremely well and pays you even better, so he quickly becomes one of your favorite clients.

·         Also, he’s extremely interesting. This man could make a story about what he ate for breakfast sound like the most fascinating thing on the world, so even if nothing big or exciting happens in the time you spend with him, at the very least you know you won’t ever be bored.

·         Don’t let his age fool you-he is a beast in bed. With age comes experience, and that has never been truer than with Shibukawa. You don’t think you’ve ever quite felt the thrill you get when you have intimate time with Shibukawa with any other client, let alone actual romantic partners you’ve had.

·         His downside is that his mood towards you is always fluctuating. He will be in constant contact with you for weeks at a time and then fall off the face of the earth, only to pop back up expecting you to prioritize him over your other clients. It’s a bit obnoxious, especially if he is your best paying client and you are relying on him financially, yet he refuses to keep you in the loop of any plans he wants to involve you in or meet ups he may be concocting.

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˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗Motobe Izou˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

·         The KING of pet names. I honestly don’t think this man has ever called you your actual name once. Baby, sweetheart, dove, little one-the list goes on. If you called him a pet name back, he would probably have a heart attack brought on by the sheer amount of joy that would bring him.

·         He may not be as wealthy as some of your other clients, but his care and devotion to you are off the charts. Each time he calls on your services he always greets you with flowers or chocolates, and each date he takes you on is to a place you like or recommend, prioritizing your favorites over the stuff he may prefer. He’s at your beck and call; willing to drop everything should your schedule open up and you have the time to spend with him.

·         He’s very protective of you, having legitimate concerns over whether any of your other customers are overly handsy or make you do and participate in things you are uncomfortable with. He tries to play it cool and ask about your health and well-being nonchalantly, but you can tell by the nervous undertone in his voice and the bags under his eyes that his fretting over you and your profession wears heavily upon him, affecting his day to day life.

·         He’s also low-key scared that you prefer other clients over him (even though you have never done anything to make him perpetuate this idea), so he stresses himself out over that as well.

·         Motobe is an incredibly intimate lover. He takes his time with you, committing to memory which of his actions brings you the most pleasure so that he can use them time and time again to drive you wild. Every caress of his hand and kiss of his lips is gentle and loving, he treats you as if you are the most precious being on the planet earth and it never ceases to make you melt.

·         That being said, he has the toughest time distinguishing boundaries in your relationship, constantly blurring the lines between professional and personal. Anyone that interacts with the two of you can see just how head over heels for you he is, and more often than not when out and about people just assume you are spouses based solely on how openly affectionate and lovey dovey he is with you. His doting can be rather heavy-handed, not to mention disconcerting, especially when you work so hard to establish clear boundaries with him.

·         … But still, you can’t find yourself being too upset at Motobe. Even when he takes things too far, Motobe is certainly the most caring client you’ve had, earnestly watching over you and taking the best care of you he can with the limited time he has with you. Even with all his quirks, you have a definite soft spot for the man.

·         And who knows? Maybe someday when you seek another line of work and leave this one behind you can go on an actual date with him? He’ll most certainly be waiting on you, more than ready to make it official. :)

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˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗Biscuit Oliva˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

·         If Biscuit is yoursugar daddy, my dear you have it MADE.

·         He is the IDEAL sugar daddy. He’s handsome, sweet, wealthy, and not afraid to lavish you in all of the finer things. It’s not uncommon for you to go out on a date with him only to come home in a new designer outfit of your choice, decked out in a varying level of jewels he let you pick out yourself.

·         And it’s not just material possessions, he loves taking you on all kind of exotic trips and vacations, taking you to places you never dreamed you’d be able to go. It makes his heart swell seeing the excitement in your eyes the moment the plane touches down at each new locale, your unbridled joy spurring him to feel just a thrilled by this adventure as you do (even if it’s to a place he has been countless times before).

·         But even when he’s not whisking you off to fun and foreign places, he always makes every date exciting. Regardless of if it’s small meet up, or a full on whirlwind adventure, there is never a dull moment with Biscuit.

·         Being with him is like an honest to god fairytale, you feel like some kind of royalty whenever you are in his presence. He dotes on you to the extreme, showering you in affection, praise, and gifts. You’ve never felt more beautiful or important than you do when you are with Biscuit.

·         All that being said, this man really makes you earn the title of sugar baby. His sex drive is off the charts and he has an insatiable attraction to you, which means the moment he sees you, he’s on you. Of course he shows decorum out in public, presenting as the perfect gentleman on any dates he escorts you on while out in the public eye. But the moment you two are behind closed doors? Prepare to be absolutely ravished. You probably won’t be able to walk for a few days once he’s done.

·         Like Doppo, you are aware that Biscuit already has a special lady in his life. As such, Biscuit made sure that you were someone that Maria was not just OK with, but someone she genuinely liked. You take that kind of as a badge of honor, as Maria has a tendency to be very picky with the people she surrounds herself with. But the two of you hit it off within minutes of meeting each other, which is a huge relief to both you and Biscuit.

·         You’re not expected to participate in the ‘sugar’ end of the deal with Maria, but should you show interest in Maria in that way, Biscuit would be over the moon. Whether it be a threesome or just the two of you together while he watched, he’ll be absolutely delighted either way (and expect to be handsomely compensated for the good time. ;). Just don’t start liking each other more than him, OK? He would probably pass away from heart break if the two of you left him in the dust. ^^;

·         The biggest down side to having Biscuit as your sugar daddy is that he can be a bit… much. He’s exceptionally clingy, to the point that you have to completely silence or shut off your phone sometimes because he’s always calling or texting you for some reason or another-even when you are with other clients. He also HEAPS on the affection so much that you feel suffocated by it, which is a lot on its own, let alone from a person you aren’t even in a committed relationship with. When you try and ask him to ease up, or even just straight up ignore him for a bit, it only makes his dogged affection worse. :/

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˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗Yujiro Hanma˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

·         The fact that you even became the Ogre’s sugar baby is baffling, and honestly a rather scary and precarious situation for you to be stuck in.

·         The thought that he would actually pay for something so many people would willingly supply to him, or that he could simply take from another person, must mean he finds you extremely interesting. Whether that’s a good or bad thing is to be determined.

·         You don’t ever get a heads up for your liaisons with Yujiro-the man just shows up when he desires your company and that’s that. It doesn’t matter if you are sleeping, with another client, or otherwise engaged, Yujiro ALWAYS takes precedence and you better remember that if you want him to keep paying you.

·         That being said, he gets rather territorial of you when he sees you or hears about you with other clients. Not necessarily jealous (what is there to be jealous of? He’s leagues better than those losers and everyone knows it), but definitely disgruntled that despite his patronage you still choose other men to attend to. You should feel honored to have him as a patron, indebted to the point where he is your soul focus. The fact that you aren’t definitely pushes his buttons.

·         As stated, being Yujiro’s sugar baby is definitely a perilous situation to be in. He is interested in you enough to spend time and money on you, but you would never delude yourself into thinking he held any sort of romantic attraction towards you. You are merely a source of pleasure and entertainment, which in and of itself is fine, that is your profession after all.  But once your use to him ended… where does that leave you? With all other clients they simply moved on, but Yujiro is like an untamed beast. If he gets upset with you in anyway, getting extremely hurt by him is a very real possibility.

·         Also- he’s the strongest being on the planet. He could kill you without batting a lash, whether by accident or on purpose. Merely being in his presence is a daunting experience, and while you’ve dealt with strong and/or questionable clients in the past, Yujiro is a breed all his own. Simply put-he scares you, and he is by far the most dangerous person you’ve ever had to interact with.

·         Everything about your relationship is filled with uncertainty. Sometimes your dates are good- he’ll take you out to nice places to do exciting things and may even get you a gift or two. But more often than not his ‘dates’ (if you can even call them that) are chaotic and abrupt, leaving you in pain and out of it for days.

·         He’s EXTREMELY demeaning as well, calling you whore or slut more than your actual name. He especially likes to belittle you during sexual acts, reminding you of what a useless and weak piece of meat you are as he pounds into you mercilessly. The berating gets even worse when/if you start to feel pleasure from the acts. He enjoys it immensely when you put up a resistance to his advances, only to becoming a slavering mess, completely drunk off his cock.

·         Receiving money from Yujiro is very dependent on his mood and how much fun he had while in your company. There are days when you leave your dates loaded with cash with very little effort, and times when you go above and beyond to please him only to receive a small amount of income. Honestly though, the days when you receive more cash can be worse than when he barely pays you-he is apt to lord it over you and expect more unsolicited favors from you in response to his act of benevolence.