Jem’s Diary - Day 1

Dear Lisa,

whoever thought talking to an empty notebook and addressing it by name was a good way to spend their time must have been off his rocker. But according to my therapist, journaling every day will help me process the trauma blah blah blah. I guess it’s worth a try. I like Dr. A, she’s just too peppy sometimes. Like she thinks everything can be fixed and happy or... I don’t even know. Anyway I promised Kier I’d take this seriously. He said that if he’d had someone like that to talk to, he might never have     left. 

Dr. A fought in the war, so i think she actually gets some things that I could never tell mum or Kier. It’s funny because it was his idea to go to her. He said there are things that he can’t share with us because they might freak us out or make him feel worse, and that I might feel the same way when it comes to some things, so I should see a therapist who was in the HVF and can relate. I don’t know when he got so wise. He’s still 18, as far as I’m concerned. 

PDS sufferers aren’t allowed to be doctors, which - don’t get Kieren started on that. But I think that’s why he spends so much time with other PDS people. He said Simon is someone he can talk to anything about so he doesn’t need a therapist. (Except when he wants to talk about Simon - he comes to me with that!) I think he can tell I don’t really like Simon. Or didn’t like him anyway. He’s grown on me, I guess. He’s just so... intense. Kinda creepy, really. He also treats me like a child, and fuck that. I’m gonna be older than him soon too. But he’s been so good to Kier, and, after the way things were with Rick, it’s xxxxxxxx

I don’t know why I’m talking about him. Dr. A said to just write whatever came to mind. I’ve gotten used to Kier’s new face, even without makeup. But Simon still scares me a bit. I feel like if he knew about Henry he’d.... not be so nice to me. And I know he was in the ULA. How are we supposed to be friends? Obviously, that’s as much my problem as his, ‘cause I was in the HVF. 

When Kier went on that painting retreat for a month, he asked me to check in on Simon. But I think he asked Simon to check in on me too. So we kinda had to hang out. It was really awkward the first couple of times. He’s so intense, I said that already. But he put on his makeup mousse and contacts for me, which was nice. I know he doesn’t agree with that. And then when I brought up the remake of Night of the Living Dead that’s coming out, it was like he was a different person. He started telling me all about American movies and how the original was made to comment on race issues, and maybe this one will be good. I guess they’re casting real PDS people for some roles and updating the story. He actually sounded excited. Then we got to talking about his travels, and it’s almost like there’s a regular person under all that brooding weirdness. I think I saw him smile for the first time that day. I can see why Kieren likes him. And I can see how much happier he is with him. So I guess I’m on team Simon now. Dad has been talking about him like he’s some kind of messiah, just because he saved Kier from getting shot that one time. It seems like everyone is a little nuts these days. But, in a way, that’s comforting. 

I think that’s enough for today. More than I planned. Signing off, with love,

which one is it? "la vida loca" or "i need a hero"?

im thinking more “heaven on their minds”

but those are good choices too! honestly im surprised nobody’s done those yet lol

oh god lemme look it up cause i definitely don’t remember

okay it looks like i stopped sometime within season 9.

whaaaaaaaaaaaat

where did you watch it? it's not showing up on channel awesome for me.