Tom Holt’s YouSpace series is fun. It’s science fantasy with a lot of absurdity and a convoluted plot. It’s a little too proud of its cleverness sometimes and the characters’ personalities are all very similar (men one way, women another), but the parallel world setup is neat. Mordak the Dark Lord from the Tolkein-esque world is my favorite character so far.
 *Became the Goblin King by not dying
*Goblin Kings get their heads cut off for losing wars, so clearly the important thing was to prevent wars through diplomacy and tricking the Dwarves into signing a truce. Peaceful retirement from being king was not a likely option.
*While he was at it, set up a health care system. Tied himself in knots trying to philosophically justify why this was all actually Evil.
*Said forget it and just bought an Elvish newspaper to run thinkpieces about how all his actions were Secretly Evil. PR for his subjects, since being portrayed as a bloodthirsty monster could only help keep him on the throne.
*Constant snarking with his Elvish secretary. Tintuviel is competent, morally suspect, and overall breathtakingly condescending. She’s fun.
*Has to persuade his people (proud battle maniacs) to become basket weavers for a while. This actually works.
*Participates in a class-action lawsuit against colonizers from a parallel world. Turns out mining uranium for centuries has had negative effects on his people.
*Canon ace
*Has a daughter. He is very proud of her.
Basically a softhearted manipulative bastard who’s very sensible and a little pathetic and he’s also a Dark Lord.
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Be careful with the micah bothering hordak content!!! **SOME heathen out here might start shipping them** (,theres a slight chance it would be me bc.... mlm hordak content... need... h....)
Friend...
Go for it!
If Hordak and Micah sounds like a fun ship for you then let that ship sail my friend.
Hate turns to playfulness.
Maybe they bond over having awesome wives.
Maybe they attend a swingers party together and they click.
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Who the fuck is Mordak? What happened to Excremax the Ohmergerd and The Crayola Timelords?!
Last issue, Stormwatch was being coerced into helping some creature called A-I. The creature wanted them to make friends with Excremax the Ohmergerd so that they could combine forces while putting Jenny Soul at great risk to defeat the Crayola Timelords. Although the Crayola Timelords could just keep changing the timeline until they weren't defeated. Right?
I guess Jim Starlin knew that everybody would be asking the same question I asked after seeing this cover, "Who the fuck is Mordak?", because this issue begins with this panel:
So can we forget about Excremax making an appearance? Are we just dealing with Mordak now? Not that I mind! All these weird aliens are all the same to me! Call them whatever you want! I'll just type "the antagonist" anyway!
Um. I hope that's not it.
After the rest of Stormwatch begins to fall, Lobo regenerates and sees his chance to ditch these losers. It's okay for him to flee this battle because he didn't sign any contracts or give his word or accept any money to deal with this shit. They just drafted his ass and threw him into the group. Hopefully he'll get away so he can destroy Twat Lobo in his very own New 52 comic book written by Alan Grant and drawn by Simon Bisley. Oh wait! I already have issues of that comic book lying around here. I think I'll go read that and pretend they're part of The New 52.
The Midnighter hasn't shown his face yet, so I'm guessing he's watching the battle and learning all of Mordak's weaknesses. Once Apollo falls, Midnighter will rush in and poke out Mordak's eyes while kicking him in the balls and shoving a Redwood up his ass. His own ass, not Mordak's. For motivation!
Meanwhile, The Weird successfully completes his task. I don't know what Jenny Soul is up to.
Oh wait. Jenny Soul arrives to spearhead the exit protocol. Judging by the way she takes out Mordak with one Soulblast, I think she should have simply been Plan A. Also, she should just be teleported in front of Excremax the Ohmergerd to take him out too. She already killed a few Crayola Timelords which nobody has ever done ever! The rest of the crew should just hang out baking cookies while she does all the work.
Really? Midnighter was just working cleanup? What a waste of talent.
That bit with A-I mentioning the political connotations of the phrase "Mission Accomplished" doesn't fit in this story at all. It's just Jim Starlin shoving his own self into the story to make some kind of comment that he wants to make. Why would A-I even consider that? It might not even mean anything in this color timeline (Ebony? Magenta?)! And besides, "Mission Accomplished" only has negative connotations when you proclaim it with grand celebration while the mission continues on for another decade. If you actually have accomplished the mission, go ahead and fucking say it.
Meanwhile there is a short scene with a bunch of human maintenance people fucking around on board Skywatch while earning double pay. I don't know where they're ever going to spend it. Perhaps there's a place like Macross City in the middle of Skywatch. One of the Maintenance People is acting shifty and accessing panels he shouldn't be accessing. I bet he's a spy!
Before the issue ends with A-I telling Stormwatch that it's finally going to be really fucking honest with them about The Crayola Timelords, Stormwatch rushes out to collect Lobo.
Is "triple crapola" Lobo's new catchphrase?
Stormwatch #25 Rating: No change. I feel like this book should be more exciting than it is. The threats don't loom large. The battles don't scale well especially against Mordak and his men this issue. Stormwatch members just fall for nearly no explanation except that Mordak is really fucking powerful! He must be since Apollo is the most powerful foe he's fought and he still beat him easy. This title is simply missing any kind of lure. I really want to like it! I really want Lobo to be fun and cool and a big jerko. But it's just been disappointing lately.
My favorite moment? A-I telling Storm Control that they have to lie low so they can't save the natives on the island that Mordak has landed on and Storm Control merely shrugging his shoulders and saying, "You're running the show, A-I!" Although it makes me think A-I doesn't really understand Stormwatch if it actually thinks Stormwatch fucking cares about collateral damage.
