#morbid thoughts

So like my mom died at 50 from cancer. And my brother died at 44 (not cancer). And my sister was diagnosed at 37 with a cancer that gave her like an 80% chance to be dead by 47 (though she's responding really well to treatment so fingers crossed she's the 20%). And my other brother was just diagnosed with cancer this month (age 45), though we don't know how serious it is yet.

And I'm like... should I just be winding down my life, then? Are these my final ten years and I should treat them as such? Should I just spend my money and not worry about it because I don't have heirs to leave anything to, anyway? And does this just go ahead and close the book on whether or not I'll have kids?

I don't know anyone else who has two siblings with cancer before 50. My mom's sisters are all going strong in their sixties and now seventies.

You live your life a few years before Harry Potter joins Hogwarts. He’s still at the Dursleys and is unaware of the magic world. You live a happy life with growing up with Tonks, Bill, Charlie, Percy, all those familiar faces. It’s Snape early years at Hogwarts. Barley in his twenties

But you, as the person behind the screen, know that shit is gonna get very real. You know the truth. That Snape is a double agent. That Tonks will one day die. That Scabbers is actually Peter Pettigrew, and you can’t do anything about it

Just this forty year old man, pretending to be a rat, being played by Bill and Charlie. Just kids playing with someone who is responsible for their future brother in law’s parents dying

You’ll end up growing up to be a fellow teacher, and watch the characters you as the person who controls the play grew up with grow up themselves

You’ll watch Fred and George in their early days before Harry and Ron joined

You’ll watch these people live, but you know they will die

You can’t do anything to change history

You simply ARE part of history

You will watch your newly made life long friends die

You’ll watch the students you raise die

But you know how the story plays out, and can’t do anything to change it

Am I the only one that sees how morbid that all is? Just me?

::

*Floyd bragging to Jade about being a centimeter taller than him*

Jade, who’s had enough of Floyd’s antics : Oh my, I wonder if you were to turn back into your original form and we cut off part of your tail, would you shrink? We should test that theory out.

Azul, tired of both of their antics : Jade we will not be cutting off anyone’s tails.

Yuu, who wants to know now : No, no, let him try it I want to see what happens.

::