#moony rant

The girl I got beef with on Twitter joined tumblr

I care to much, I worry to easily and start to do this thing that people see as controlling because that's what their used too. I have some trauma connected to it. And when someone or something just either stops talking to me or block me and doesn't tell me what I did wrong isn't... Ok? If that makes sense.

This spamming thing I do. I would not like to get into why I do it. All I can say is that someone has almost done something when I haven't answered before.

But if someone just tells me what I did wrong. If someone just tells me "hey can you stop doing this" I'm not gonna get mad. I'm not... I hate when people compare me to something their used to. Whether they talk about it or not.

I just wish instead of me finding out what I did wrong... From someone else I just want them to tell me! And I get it's a trust issue thing. But if I just knew. If they would just tell me if I did something wrong, if someone would just be like "hey I don't want to talk right now" then... I would stop. But I just get something else and then I over think,

It's good that they are taking care of themselves.. But I just wish I knew. They don't even have to go into detail! They don't have to tell me a thing about what's wrong... I just want them to tell me instead of me getting blocked or them not messaging me anymore. I get they have different lives. And I get that their feelings matter.

But mine do too. If they just tell me one little thing.

One little thing that's all I ask.

It doesn't have to be much just a little "hi" or something of that nature. But I just wish... That they told me something. Tell me their ok. Or tell me that they want to be left alone instead of me over thinking it's my fault because of this stupid trauma that I haven't even gotten over.

I just wish someone or something will just tell me what I did wrong. Not just... Leave me in the dust