#moonshineverse

Joel wakes before the both of you, watching you sleep as Frankie has you wrapped up so tight. His face buried in your hair taking you all in even when he’s not conscious. 

There’s a faint smile on his lips and Joel wonders what he could be dreaming about. It’s a comforting sight compared to the nightmares that used to plague him. 

Something stirs deep within,a feeling he can’t quite put his finger on but he knows he shouldn’t chase it too far down a dark path. You were both here,right in front of him -safe. He had nothing to worry about and yet it felt like if he didn’t do something to protect you it would all come crashing down. 

He fights those feelings threatening to eat away at the calm sounds of your sleepy humms and Frankie’s light snores. 

It’s too tempting to want to wake both of you, he’s desperate these days now that he’s had you both,the intensity of your love only heightened now by Frankie’s presence. The thin sheet is draped lightly over your soft form, Frankie’s arm covering the parts of you that are exposed. 

He mouths at your shoulder planting light kisses along your arm, his hands wander beneath the sheet caressing your soft stomach. Your body chases his even in sleep as you roll your hips back into his. You whimper at the feel of his hardened length pressing into the swell of your ass. 

It would be so easy to slip in, you’re always so wet and ready for him first thing in the morning. You never resisted him, it was a craving to watch you wake up to the feel of him buried deep inside you, your soft moans and whimpers of his name as your first waking thought is you coming hard on his cock as he whispers sweet good mornings in your ear.

The image is so clear in his mind he almost doesn’t feel Frankies large calloused hand brush against him. Frankie grips your ass in his sleep pulling you towards him as he mumbles something incoherent. The man is greedy. He can’t blame him though. 

He lets out a tuft of air as he stares up to the ceiling. It’s all so funny now knowing how worried you were just a few weeks ago about your advances not being reciprocated,and yet here he finds himself fighting with a sleeping giant for another moment with you. You did manage to get your hooks in him after all. 

Like most mornings now, he can’t seem to leave the comfort of you in this bed so he slinks down further into the covers and further into the depths of whatever this is forming between the three of you. 

****

You’ll never get used to the feeling of waking up with two large bodies caging you in. Frankie nestled in the crook of your neck with his arm draped across you instinctively pulling Joel flush against your back. 

Joel’s head resting on the pillow above you as his left hand rests comfortably in the valley of your breast. You stir a little and you can hear Joel’s grunts of protest at breaking the morning haze. Although it does seem like Joel sleeps in later and later these days. 

Instinctively you can tell when he’s actually awake, his hands dig in deeper as his chest rises and fall a little faster than before. That feeling of being watched by him is something you’ve grown to now very well. He often tried not to take his eyes off you for too long when you were near, as if he thought you might evaporate into thin air. 

You can hear his thoughts churning behind you as you try to play sleep, just to hold onto this moment a little longer. He tries to quietly clear the sleep from his throat, no longer able to keep his racing thoughts at bay. 

“Cains been making his way towards us.” He speaks into your hair slightly muffled. 

You don’t say anything but you know what that means. He always gets nervous and possessive at any mention of him. A knot forming in your chest because you know trouble always followed that man. 

You rub his arm as he plants a soft kiss to your shoulder before sliding out of bed. You miss his warm presence behind you as Frankie unconsciously pulls you further into him. 

“Who’s Cain?” His sleepy voice registers barely above a whisper. He stirs slightly as you trace lines down his back leaving goosebumps in your wake.

“Go back to sleep Frankie.” He begins muttering something about you ‘humming in your sleep’ and then you can hear his soft snores and the steady rise and fall of his chest as sleep begins to claim him again. 

Your mind drifting to thoughts of your first meeting with the man they call Cain. 

****

It was a crisp autumn day, the weeks you’ve spent getting to know Joel and Charity working at the bar had been some of the happiest days in recent memory. She was so thrilled to teach you and also have someone to confide in for the first time in a very long time. 

She reminded you so much of your sister it pained you to think about. Joel did his best trying to find out what happened to her when you got separated even though you both knew. You sensed there was some other form of determination behind helping you but you didn’t want to pry. 

The grief bonded you to him while he mourned the loss of Tommy, even though you never met him you knew what an impact he must have had on Joel. He often referred to him as the level headed one, that peeked your interest because Joel was nothing(to you) if not level headed. 

That day at the bar had started off like any other. It was getting busier since word got out that you could make a ‘pretty decent drink’ in Joel’s words. A few familiar faces had made their way in and a few unfamiliar ones. Joel trusted the two of you to run things when he had business to tend to around town. 

Charity has been keeping busy, you could sense her nervous energy as she stole glances at a man sitting at the end of the bar. He was handsome and older. Not much older than Joel. He was polite and seemed to enjoy your drinks, seeing as this was his second round. 

“Sweetheart I’ll have another.” He gestures to you with a wave of his fingers and a devilish grin on his face. 

This man definitely knew what he was doing, you wondered what brought him in here or why he was constantly glancing around almost studying the place. He ordered a whiskey neat and insisted on the good stuff, you raised your brows at him but he silenced you with a simple look of ‘Im good for it’. 

As you slid the drink to him he caught your hand in his, he rubs his calloused thumb across your fingers before placing a kiss to them. Bold moves from a stranger but there’s something about him that doesn’t have you shy away. From across the room Charity is frozen to the spot,seemingly forgetting whatever task she wanted to accomplish and you’re none the wiser as this handsome gentleman has some magic hold on you. 

“You’re new here.” He states matter of fact as though he’s got you all figured out from one glance. 

“Yes, I’ve been here a few weeks.” You hate how shy you suddenly sound under this spell he’s got you in. 

“Names Cain, it’s a pleasure to meet you?” You give him your name and he repeats it back to you in his low sultry tone. “Pretty name for a pretty face.” 

You try to disguise the smile as you duck your head in embarrassment. Joel had noticed your discomfort at flattery and had since made it his mission to tell you how beautiful you were everyday. It wasn’t something you often came across as you fought for your life on a day to day basis for so long. Men mostly assumed they could take what they wanted and there certainly were no compliments involved if you ever found yourself in that situation. 

“Well I’ll be damned, the lady has a beautiful smile as well.”  There was no hiding the flustered state he had you in at his forwardness and it was safe to assume you were in way over your head with him. 

“Speaking of new, I can’t say I’ve seen you in here before.” You took a step back from the bar hoping to break yourself free from whatever was happening between the two of you. 

He scrubs his stubble on his jaw as he chuckles under his breath. “Sweetheart this isn’t my first time here.”  The front door swings open and your heart skips a beat. Joel’s broad frame casting a shadow on the floor as he blocks the remaining evening sun. You meet his eyes with a soft smile but he’s staring daggers at the charming,handsome man that has captivated your time for who knows how long. The other patrons long forgotten as he so easily sucked you into his web. 

Joel stalks over to the bar with determination, his eyes nearly black with rage as he pulls up a seat next to Cain. You glance around the bar unsure of when Charity disappeared but you’re suddenly feeling like you’ve made some grave mistake in even entertaining this man. 

“What the fuck are you doin’ in my bar?” 

“It’s nice to see you too Joel.” Cain sloshes around the remaining amber liquid in his glass before taking it all down. “This drink is pretty nice too.”

“I asked you a question.” He smirks at Joel no doubt taking every opportunity to get under his skin and it’s definitely working. 

“It seems you steal all the pretty girls to work at your bar.” As Joel leans in closer to him all you can hear is the pounding of your heart in your ears. A few people sensing the tension have left their ration cards on the bar. You want to move your feet and get as far away from this conversation as you can but you’re planted to the spot. 

“What do you want Cain!” Joel’s booming voice echoed through the now empty bar as both men stand face to face. 

“Just wanted to check up on my old business partner,but I can see you’re still bent out of shape about Tommy so I better go.” A mixture of pain and anger washes over Joel’s face as Cain brushes past him to exit. 

“Thanks for the drink sweetheart,come visit my bar when you get sick of this old man.” The sinister look he gives him sends chills down your spine as he swings open the heavy wooden door stepping out into the night light. 

Joel rounds the bar quickly pulling you into his broad frame, his grip is almost painful as he tries to calm his breathing. You know whatever he’s going through words won’t fix but you tell him it’s okay anyways as you rub your hands along his back steadily trying to ground him. He’s like a wounded animal the way he looks at you with red tear stained eyes. You don’t know what Cain did to him but it’s a look you never want to see on Joel’s face again. 

“Did he touch you? Or say anything to you?” He’s looking you over as you bite your bottom lip wondering how much you should tell him. Yes this strange man was flirting with me and I wasn’t doing much to stop him, that response probably wouldn’t go over well and it seems he’s frustrated with how long it’s taking you to respond. 

“Don’t lie to me.” 

“He asked me for my name and he kissed my hand, he didn’t tell me anything else I swear.” You’re trembling now, unable to look into his eyes,afraid to see any disappointment in them. 

“She’s telling the truth Joel.” Charity appears behind him, her face stained with fresh tears as she looks up at him like she’s done something wrong. “I’m sorry I left her alone I just couldn’t…”

“Don’t apologize, hon' it’s alright.” Joel has softened slightly at the site of her in distress. You shouldn’t be annoyed with the situation but so much has gone unsaid and you’re feeling so left out. Joel turns to you then finally calmed down and worry written all over his face because of course you have no idea what’s going on. 

“Shine…he can’t be trusted, I can’t tell you everything now but just promise me you’ll never get close to him. If you see him out there or in here just know he’s evil and so are his intentions.” 

All you can manage is a nod as grabs Charity's hand and pulls you both into his arms. 

“You’re mine okay…and I won’t let anything happen to you…I can’t let anything happen to anyone else.”

*****

It started out like such a beautiful day, the sky was clear and the weather uncharacteristically warm. These days always make you nervous, much like the day of the outbreak. That was a beautiful day too. Beneath this idyllic facade a storm was brewing. You could feel it in your bones from the moment Joel mentioned his name. 

You did your best to smile through it as you worked but Frankie knew something was off. It’s almost as if everyone was on edge. The bar felt heavy with invisible ominous clouds as you all mostly worked without speaking to each other. 

Joel never left his office. 

The peaceful morning was crushed by his thoughts.It was one of those moments where fear worked its way into your bones until it was all you could think about.Frankie could see the tension in your body, an all too familiar feeling for him and the others. 

Some part of him still hadn’t made that last step, to put the final piece of his new life together. All he had to do was say those words, but until he did it seemed he didn’t feel worthy enough to comfort you in public. He wanted to let everyone know that you and Joel were his but something kept holding him back. He wants to shut off that nagging part of his brain that tells him he doesn’t deserve love. Maybe he should start taking his own advice and believe things that he tells Joel late at night when the lights are out and the only thing shining through is the moon. 

Winding down for the night usually brought some form of excitement for him because he knew he was that much closer to being ‘home’. Tonight most certainly felt different. 

With the last patron long gone he can see you and Charity leaning into the bar having a hushed conversation. You chance a glance back at him as your smile barely reaches your eyes. 

The door opens wide bringing the moonlight in and a man in a crisp black suit enters. 

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. 

“Sir we’re closed for the night.” Benny politely offers as the man walks past him without a second glance. 

“You should turn off the open sign.” Benny looks at you apologetically thinking he’s just let a regular customer in but your eyes tell a different story. 

Frankie can feel the shift in the room, your conversation with Charity long forgotten as you’ve both stopped talking to stare at this man. He flashes Frankie a wide tooth smile that has his stomach churning. 

He sits on the stool next to Charity and pulls her seat closer, the noise dragging along the floor sending chills down your spine. She doesn’t move, only looks to you momentarily, a sudden desperation in her eyes. 

“I’ll have a-“

“I’m not serving drinks.” You cut him off as you lean back crossing your arms. A version of you long ago would’ve backed down to the man but he didn’t scare you anymore. 

“A bar that doesn’t serve drinks.” The sarcasm drips from his voice as he turns around to survey the room. 

“What do you want, Cain?” Your tone is stern and unwavering as you toss the bar towel you were using into the sink. 

Frankie stiffens at the name, his hair on the back of his neck stands up as he notices Santi making his way over the bar, like a lion eyeing his prey. Santi and Will were all too familiar with the man in question having heard much from Joel. 

“You know I always have to pay you a visit when you cause a commotion.”

“What commotion?”

“Joel's lackeys arrived in town and it’s got people buzzing!” Gesturing around the room all the men freeze in their movements. 

(His)men were lackeys…these men were elite trained special ops soldiers. But he didn’t need to know any of that. Based on his comment he obviously knew nothing. You know he’s just sniffing you out trying to get information. 

He licks his lips as he turns his body to Charity and brushes her hair behind her ears. “You can always come back and work for me sweetheart, I’m sure you’ve missed me.”

“Kindly fuck off Cain.” She swats his hand away and stands from her seat. 

“Oohhh just as spicy as the day we met.”

Santi’s chomping at the bit but Frankie shoots him a look to back off. You’re not sure when Benny moved from the door to the opposite side of the bar but Will is slowly making his way over to potentially diffuse any situation or maybe something worse. 

Cain leans against the bar with a sickening sweet smile as he props his head on his hands. 

“The offer still stands for you too sweetheart.”

You don’t have to look to know Frankie’s inched closer to you, his presence is looming as he waits for him to make one wrong move. 

“No thanks Cain, I'm very happy here.” His maniacal laugh sends chills down your spine.

“How would you know you’re happy unless you give some other lap a try.” 

It all happens in a flash as Benny lunges for him his brother grabs at the back of his shirt, Charity manages to block Santiago but Frankie already has him face down on the bar with his hand pressed to the back of his neck. 

A loud whistle from the hallway door has everyone freeze in their movements. Joel stalks toward the bar, the only sound over your beating heart is the lumbering stomp of his boots as he comes up behind him. 

Frankie hasn’t let off his neck but the rest of the men have all backed off. Charities trying to get Santi to look in her eyes but he’s laser focused on the scene unfolding. Cain's evil laughter is only spurring him on as he’s still pinned to the bar. 

“Frankie.” Joel’s voice is soft for his lover trying to coax him to let Cain go. His eyes are black with rage and he’s way past talking. The boys know all too well when they get like this it’s hard to snap out of it.

“Francisco.” His voice is deeper now as he places a hand on his wrist gently prying it off him. 

Frankie backs away suddenly as though he’s been stung, his chest is heaving and you step in front of him rubbing your hands along his arms trying desperately to ground him. 

He finally looks at you and the pain is evident in his deep brown eyes. You lean up and kiss him on the cheek to silently convey that you’re okay. 

Cain straightens up and pulls roughly on his suit as he comes face to face with Joel. It seemed he had a permanent snicker on his face and it took everything for Joel not to slit his throat right now and have them help him hide the body. 

He didn’t want blood shed in his bar and he definitely didn’t want people asking questions. 

“So it looks like you finally learned how to share.” He tilts his chin toward you and Frankie embracing and you know if it weren’t for your deathly grip on him he would lunge for him again. 

“Unless you have business with me personally, we’re closed for the night.” 

“Remember we don’t do business personally anymore. I just wanted to stop by.” He holds his hand out for Joel to shake but he just crosses his arms across his broad chest.

“Sorry to hear your last run didn’t go so well.”

“Don’t know where you heard that.” Joel grits out through clenched teeth. 

“Pretending to be mother Theresa won’t erase all the shit you’ve done.” He laughs and pats the bar top as he slowly walks backwards. “See you soon Moonshine.” Your blood runs cold as he winks at you before exiting the bar.

Joel looks at you with that same look in his eyes he had all those years ago when you first met Cain, but now there’s another set of eyes on you with that same look. 

****

There were no more words said amongst you all as you finished up for the night. Just Joel’s hurried ‘be ready to leave in 5’ as he bounded back to his office and slammed the door shut. 

You walk home in silence…even though you walk ahead, both men are on your heels. The sight of them hand in hand loosens something deep in your chest. Neither of them have to feel alone about their past and how they may have handled things. They both told you on separate occasions how they don’t like letting their temper get the best of them. Their similarities were so eerie sometimes.

The hurried atmosphere of your walk only stirs them on when you finally enter your home. You can feel the humid air in the room as you look at both men. A possessiveness in their eyes that should have you running in the other direction. 

You know they need to forget,even momentarily about what happened tonight. The urgency to undress you,to claim you as you barely make it to the bedroom. 

It’s euphoric the way they make you feel, you don’t have to open your eyes anymore to know who’s touching you where or who’s biting and gripping you so tight they’ll leave bruises. 

They do make you open your eyes though because they ‘want to see your pretty face when you come.’ They got off on it,needing it for their own release. You’ve lost count on how many times they’ve brought you to the edge and tipped you over. 

You’re mine is growled in your ear as you’re filled from both ends. It’s space you’re suspended in as you wrap your arms around  and cling to whoever is shushing you telling you it’s okay. You’re ours 

****

It’s quiet now

Their minds are finally at rest as they watch you sleep. Frankie doesn’t know how long they’ve been laying here in silence but sooner or later one of them has to break it. 

“I’m sorry about losing my temper.”

“Don’t...don't ever apologize for protectin’ her.” He doesn’t mean it to come out as harsh as it does. 

They both look down at you to make sure you’re still asleep. You burrow into the pillow as you humm softly. You’re so angelic at peace and they wonder what they did in all their fucked up lives to deserve someone like you. 

Joel kisses him slow and deliberate, his passion always caught Frankie off guard. How this rugged man could make him feel so many things with just a kiss. 

He pulls away momentarily, the words he’s wanted to ask all night lingering in the air. “Tell me about Cain...please.” Joel shuts his eyes as he lets out a puff of air onto his lips. 

It’s brief and also painstakingly slow at the same time as he waits for him to respond. Joel leans back against the headboard with his eyes still shut. It might be easier to tell it this way, or maybe he can better see what went wrong as he replays it in his head. 

“We used to be partners…when I came here with Tommy I didn’t know shit. Cain took us under his wing so to speak. We did some horrible things to get to the top.”

Frankie knows how that feels, to do and see the most unspeakable things in the name of survival. It only starts to eat away at you when you’re no longer doing it to survive. 

“I knew he was with Charity, but when I saw the bruises…” He stops for a moment to collect his thoughts. “She just reminded me so much of Sarah it sort of made me snap.”

Frankie listens as he tells him how they were going to run both bars together, each on the opposite side of town. If they pooled their resources it would only seek to benefit them all.Cain got greedy and Joel wanted out of the business of hurting people. 

He offered Charity an out and she accepted but he couldn’t tell Tommy what to do. 

Tommy died on a run with Cain after they decided to part ways. He still doesn’t know all the details about how the clickers managed to get to him only. 

“I know he killed my brother. I just can’t prove it.” The moonlight illuminates the glossy look in his eyes with so many words unspoken. “I heard he’s running out of resources so I knew it was only a matter of time before he came lurking.” 

Here it is again the comfortable silence he often finds himself in nowadays. He doesn’t know what to say.

Frankie hates the word sorry. Hearing I’m sorry doesn’t heal the wounds...There’s other ways to convey how he feels.

He doesn’t hesitate as he leans in capturing his lips. Any dark thoughts brought to the surface are pushed to the back as Frankie conveys with his actions everything he can’t say out loud. 

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  Sorry shine, old habits die hard. 

  It’s so foreign when you awake this morning to a hard body weighing you down, you open your eyes and just faintly make out the top of his graying soft curls on your stomach. His arms outstretched across you showing off the wide expanse of his back. You languidly trace the scars you’ve grown to love, he’s told you about most of them. You never pry further for explanation of the bad ones. His time before meeting you was laced with so much pain and anguish. 

  He’d talked for weeks about how much he couldn’t wait for the extension of his Miller family to show up with their friends. Possibly a combination of them finally arriving or the fact that it seemed they would all fit seamlessly into your lives. You wondered if his offer the night before was lust filled ramblings or a real proposition why don’t you get to know Francisco. Joel was never one to beat around the bush or not say what he was truly thinking. You couldn’t hide your attraction, he knew you too well and that was your one rule. Don’t ever lie to me. It held so much weight in desperate times. 

  You do your best to slide out of bed without disturbing him, he rustles a little reaching for you even in sleep, a deep bond formed over times of survival. You find the first things you see strewn about the floor are your clothes from the previous night. His flannel is a warm contrast on your skin to the cold floor on your bare feet. You pad into the kitchen only bothering to button the middle two, leaving you slightly exposed. 

  You know it doesn’t take much effort to prepare his straight forward black coffee but something about going through the motions in the stillness of the morning is so comforting. You can see why he clings to the ritual. It’s quite possibly one of the only things about his life that didn’t change. 

  ****

  You often think about the day you came barreling into his life, you made your way to the Boston QZ after the disaster in Hartford. You and your older sister Liv had been on your own since the outbreak, doing whatever it took to survive. She taught you as much as she could with her being only 17 and you 15. You spent 8 years in Hartford until the military pulled out. She knew after that day it wouldn’t be safe for you two. 

  10 years ago

  Your feet pound against the pavement as you fight the urge to turn around and see if you’re still being chased. The echo of footsteps and shadows along brick walls at every corner. The hot burn in your lungs is hard to ignore but you know you have to push through. The thought of being caught and the unknown consequences pushing you through the pain in the soles of your feet. 

  You knew it was risky being out past curfew but you were so desperate to find your sister. It’s been days since you’ve arrived here and still no sign of her. 

  You think you may have lost them but you want to be sure as you round another corner, looking over your shoulder instead of ahead at the dead end alley. 

  Fuck

  The crunching of leather boots on concrete drawing nearer to you as your heart hammers in your ears. You’re searching the surroundings for anything, a weapon, a fire escape, anything to help get you out of your current predicament. It’s wall to wall brick on either side and a bunch of wooden crates. You see a dumpster further down the alley and crouch behind it, discarding your hoodie and glasses. 

  A door in front of you flings open and a box of empty bottles is tossed on the ground causing you to yelp in surprise. You’re  met with the sight of an older man, broad shoulders and a grim look that would have anyone else running in the opposite direction. He stands in the light of the doorway taking in your appearance as you still try and catch your breath. 

  He’s looking you over, deciding your fate which he knows he has mere me seconds before whoever is chasing you is coming around that corner and he has to deal with it or let them have you. You look too young to be out past curfew but too old to have parents worried about you. 

  It feels like an eternity as you wait for this man to make a move, he looks like he’s battling with himself about what to do with you. Maybe you should be scared of him but something tells you to trust him-he has kind eyes. 

  “God damn it, get inside and make it quick.” He stands out of the way as you barrel towards the door , staying crouched just in case. 

  He closes the door behind you with a thud as you stand in the unfamiliar hallway. He brushes past you not bothering to beckon you along so you decide to follow, far enough behind to give him space but close enough to not lose him. The floor is lined with red carpet and the end of the hallway on an opaque door reads office. 

  He doesn’t lead you there like you expected as he turns the corner into a dimly lit bar. The back wall is lined with liquor with a cracked mirror underneath. This place looked somehow untouched from the chaos outside, you were thrust into a time you never knew but somehow ended up in an environment you knew all too well. 

  He takes a seat at a stool facing the bar where a singular glass of amber liquid is placed on the counter. It seems you’re alone but he’s made no move to harm you or help you beyond letting you inside. 

  “Who’s chasin’ you?” He takes a sip of the drink and fails to hide the wince in his eyes.

  “I don’t know.” 

  “Don’t lie to me or I’ll let you back out there.” He still hasn’t looked at you directly but you can see him in the reflection of the cracked mirror watching you. 

  “ It might be FEDRA and it might be someone else. I heard someone yell stop and I took off running.” 

  Bang!Bang!Bang! Three heavy wraps on the front door have both your heads turning. 

  “Get behind the bar and grab a rag.” He stands from his stool as the banging persists and you don’t hesitate to take the hint. You scurry behind the bar grabbing the first rag you can find and start wiping down the counter as he opens the door. 

  Two FEDRA soldiers by the looks and uniform are at the door, one short and stumpy doesn’t look like he holds much weight, the other dark haired tall man with the way he carried himself has a little more stature you suppose. 

  “We’re closed for the night fellas.” 

  “Who’s inside?” Joel grits his teeth as he steps out of the doorframe. He recognizes the two as frequent patrons but that’s a strong word considering they don’t provide ration cards. 

  “It’s just me and my bartender closing up for the night.” You offer a smile to the men as you resume your task at hand. Behind the bar is actually filthy so you might as well make it look believable. 

  “When did you hire a bartender? It’s just been you and Charity since Tommy—.” Joel clears his throat as the other man shoots him a look. 

  “A few days ago, I figure I needed some help around here.”

  “It’s past curfew, how’s she getting home?” The shorter one runs his hand along his jaw as he licks his lips at you. 

  “I’ll worry about how she’s gettin’ home and you worry about how you’re gonna keep drinking for free if you ask me any more questions.” You thought he might be pushing his luck with the way he spoke to them but the taller soldier raised his hands in defeat while the shorter one scowled as he left, never taking his eyes off you. 

  “She better be here tomorrow Joel.” Joel —so he had a name after all, you suppose you could stop calling him mr. grumpy in your head. 

  The door closes and Joel locks it behind them, you release a breath you didn’t even realize you’d been holding. He takes his seat again at the stool and finishes his drink. He hands you the glass and points to the bottle just behind your head at the wall. 

  He expects you to falter but you grab the bottle off the shelf almost out of reach so you have to stand on your tiptoes. He takes notice of the way your gray cargo pants hug your curves, quickly averting his gaze when you turn around. You were so focused on your task you almost missed the way he looked at you.

  “I assume you have ice.”  He points to the half full bar sink filled with questionable looking ice. You’ll have to make due but seeing as he has a decent assortment of bar tools you could do your best. 

  Surprisingly he has most of the ingredients you want to make your drink, you don’t think too long and hard about the expiration dates. If they’re behind the bar then he’s serving them. 

  “You can just pour it in the glass sweetheart.” 

  “You can just be patient Joel.” He has to ignore the way his name sounds coming from your lips. “Besides…I’m the bartender.”

  He chuckles and leans back in the stool, you’ve most certainly peaked his interest as he watches you make a drink with practiced ease. 

  You taste the simple syrup before you add it to the glass, you suppose sugar and water wasn’t that hard to come by. You take stock of everything he somehow has. You add the bitters that no doubt have expired but who cares since it was bitter, the expensive whiskey on the other hand definitely had you raising an eyebrow as you did a perfect 1.5 oz pour. 

  He’s trying to hide his expression as he watches you, adding each ingredient of a cocktail he knows all too well but for some reason hasn’t attempted to make himself. You’re shaking the drink vigorously above your head and he tries to look anywhere but your chest as the movements jostle your breasts in the black tank top. 

  You double strain the drink into his glass(questionable ice), and garnish it with lemon peel, not hard to come by if you know someone that grows. 

  “You’ll have to do without the cherry, I know they’re in season but outside the wall.” He takes a mental note to get some cherries on his next run. 

  He takes the first sip and he’s a goner. It’s solace and liquid warmth. The whiskey is shocking but the sweet is soothingly familiar. The bitter is a biting reminder but the lemon is ripened and savored nesting comfortably on his tongue. 

  “Not bad.” You bite down hard on the inside of your cheek, this man just saved you for Christ sake. It’s a deep bruise to your ego but you’ll have to take it…just this once. 

  “Where did you learn to make this? You start to clean up your mess not wanting to make eye contact. Your sister always said you were stubborn until the end. “I don’t mean to offend…you seem like a girl that can handle yourself but this drink is beyond your years.”

  “My grandpa liked to drink…and he was very particular about it.” You lean back against the bar facing the cracked mirror with your arms crossed. 

  “So what you were out here makin’ drinks at 10?” 

  “Of course not…I was 12.” He makes an unamused face as he finishes his ‘not bad’ old fashioned. 

  “What had you runnin’ into me tonight?” His tone is a lot more serious than his previous question. You meet his eyes in the reflection contemplating your next words. He wouldn’t go this far to turn around and rat you out. It also seemed like he was breaking a few rules and you at least owe him an explanation. 

  “I’m trying to find my sister.” You take a deep shuddering breath. “We came here together and they separated us after we were scanned.” His eyes drop down to his empty glass and you both know what goes unsaid. 

  “I don’t remember her getting bit and she never said anything to me. No one was helping so I’ve been staying out late at night trying to find her.” Joel knows more than anyone that you can't ask too many questions during daylight hours. 

  “I’m sorry…I lost my brother a few months back-.”

  “She’s not lost!” You snap involuntarily but he doesn’t budge. 

  “I’m sorry for that…you’ve only helped me and I didn’t mean to react that way.” You hate the timid sound of your voice but you know you almost got yourself killed tonight for a lost cause. She was gone and you both knew it. 

  “No need to apologize sweetheart.” He stands from his stool as he rounds the bar, he was deliberate in his movements. A man who had no time to waste even in times of leisure. He pours  a glass of clear liquid from a mason jar and hands it to you. 

  You’re grateful for the water after your chase but your face must say otherwise. 

  “It’s fresh I promise.” 

  “No it’s not that…I was just hoping for something a little stronger.” He gestures to the wall you’ve all but memorized. 

  “Help yourself.” 

  “I was hoping you had something stronger than…that.” He knows you’re trying to get a rise out of him after the slight at your drink. 

  He turns around and bends over, your breath hitching in your throat at the sight of his tight jeans and gray flannel riding up just enough to expose his lower back- (briefs man…interesting). He flicks at a tile on the floor exposing a dark hole that he reaches down into pulling out a clear bottle marked with three x’s. 

  “This is the strongest I got, but I’m afraid I can’t carry you upstairs so you can have just one.” You take the bottle from him and grab two shot glasses from behind the bar pouring you each one. 

  “Joel…no offense but I can drink you under the table.” His raucous laughter is almost startling. You didn’t think he was capable of it and it takes you by surprise. 

  “Okay…let’s make it a bet. If you win I’ll let you stay here for a little while.” He raises the glass to you awaiting your response.

  “And if I lose?” He clinks your glass and takes his shot exhaling pure liquid vapor in your face. 

  “I’ll let you stay here…for a little while.” You down the clear liquid without so much as flinching but you can feel the burn all the way down your chest until it settles deep in your gut. You’re a goner. 

  ****

1 hour later 

  You’ve both filled each other in as much as the liquor will allow on how you ended up in Boston. He was from Texas and you were from New York. You each left out some details in the middle, maybe a little too heavy for the first meeting. One thing you knew was you weren’t strangers to loss.

  “Sweetheart I’m skunk-drunk, I think you may have won this round.” You’re a ball of giggles because you know you’ve already won. Somehow this cowboy in shining flannel provided you with a bright light in a bleak world. 

  “So…how am I getting home?” You recalled what he said to the soldiers and you weren’t sure if he was still covering for you.

   He stills for a moment, unsure of how to proceed. You were something special that was worth preserving and you’ve both had far too much alcohol for him not to feel guilty. 

  “I’ve got a vacant apartment upstairs where I keep most of the booze. You can stay there if you promise not to drink it all.” He winks at you and suddenly you’re weak in the knees. You’ve never really had the chance to feel this way about anyone. 

  “Please lead the way before you have to carry me up these stairs.” Your tired sore feet follow him up the stairwell as you become acutely aware of how long this day has been. For days in the place you were assigned to stay you’ve been staying awake, not fully trusting your surroundings. 

  He stops at apartment 15 and unlocks the door, he holds it open waiting for you to enter first. There isn’t much space in the living room as it’s filled with crates. The rest of the space however is clean, the floors hardwood and the singular window against the brick outer wall casting the shadows in the moonlight. 

  “The hot water works and there’s extra sheets and towels in the closet.” He suddenly sounds as timid as you did earlier. 

  “Thank you…for everything.” He hesitates a moment in the doorway, his eyes saying a million things all at once. 

  “You’re welcome.” He closes the door softly, finally leaving you alone to unwind. You had hoped you didn’t imagine the pull you felt towards each other but he’s already gone above and beyond. It would be selfish to think any more of the situation. 

  ****

  The shower sputters to life as you impatiently wait for it to reach an acceptable temperature. As you step in letting the flowing water cascade over you, washing the day away. You keep your head back for several minutes entranced in the way the hot water permeates your scalp. 

  The steam is steadily building and you think between the drinks and the hot water it’s best you step out before Joel finds you passed out in his vacant apartment filled with booze. 

  You see your dirty clothes strewn about the bathroom, the only clothes you have at the moment and grimace at the thought of putting them back on.You decide you’ll deal with that tomorrow. Dawning only a towel you make your way into the bedroom, having a seat at the foot with the freshly changed sheets. 

  A faint knock on the front door has you jump a little. You walk on tiptoes towards the door, holding your towel tight to your body as you look through the peephole. Joel. He’s staring down at the floor sheepishly, shifting from foot to foot. You open the door and see him standing with some items balled up in his left hand. 

  “I…” He swallows hard, taking in the sight of you in your towel, tiny water droplets on your skin glistening in the moonlight and you looking up at him expectantly. “I wanted to bring you some clean clothes.” 

  He holds out the flannel and sweats for you as you take them from his hand. “Is that all you wanted?” 

  The moment feels like an eternity, you both holding onto the clothes neither one of you letting go, he slowly tugs you toward him as you press against his chest. Only the towel separating you as he takes his free hand and cups it around your neck pulling you into a desperate kiss. He tilts his head leaning into the kiss as his chapped lips engulfed yours, stealing every breath and moan from you. He finally pulls away as he rests his forehead against yours. 

  “Please tell me you’re still holding that towel.” He’s half panting as you laugh and place a kiss to the hollow of his neck. 

  “I am. If you want me to be?” He groans internally at the thought of him looking down to see your naked body pressed against his. 

  “Next time…when we haven’t had so much to drink, maybe you won’t be.” He steps back from you releasing his grip on you and the clothes. 

  “Goodnight Joel.”

  He closes the door behind him leaning against it.

Goodnight Moonshine 

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