#monoslugger

❝Well, this sucks in just about every sense of the word.❞

He wished that sentence wasn’t quite as literal as he made it seem, but it was. To think he was starting to miss the times when stray lightning bolts and earthquakes were his biggest concern. When the Turk had finally decided to get involved in the action, he found himself confronted by.. He wasn’t entirely sure what they were, at first. Shinra had more than it’s fair share of dirty little secrets, so it was hard to remember every single one at a moment’s notice.

But eventually, recollection does come to him. He’d only ever seen these things in reports. Slightly blurred images from afar, but even those were enough to make him sick. Seeing them up close.. Christ, Hojo was a sick bastard.

Deformed beasts, human in appearance, seemed to flock around him. Both their sight and their stench was unbearable. Despite being out in the open, the scent of rotting corpses was overwhelming. And that wasn’t really a surprise, given that these things used to be people. Victims of Shinra’s inhuman experimentation to create super SOLDIERs for their cause. He may be a company man, but he wasn’t exactly proud of a lot of the things they did. And he could confidently say that this was just another circle of hell that he and all of his co-workers would be condemned to.

When one roommate leaves, another will enter. Those are laws of the universe. And right now, Susie is expecting someone to replace the absent Dr. Faye-Ling.

She thinks about buying a housewarming gift to set a good example for them. It’ll set her apart as the best of two roommates and totally show up that Akira kid.

To get more information on the person she’ll be living with for the coming days, Susie talks up the receptionist down at the lobby. She’s a middle-aged woman with a dry sense of humor.

“Good afternoon, Ms. Grossman! Have you heard any news on 322?”

“Oh... that one.” The receptionist leans in.  “You’d better watch out for the new tenant, kid. He’s got a real mean streak. They call him... Mad Dog.”

“What? Really!?”

Ms. Grossman nods. Susie doesn’t know what to make of this news.

“You’re telling me they gave the room to a dog?!”

“Hey, don’t blame me. That’s what I heard.”

...

Some time later...

...

After ordering from PetCorp, Susie is ready for anything that Mad Dog Majima dishes out. The apartment is laid out with pet-appropriate features like a bowl of food and a water dish, though she’s also bought chewing toys and a cage, and Susie herself is packing the heat.

She stands at guard a good ways from the door with a muzzle and squirt bottle at the ready.

The door unlocks. It starts to open. She hovers a finger over the trigger.

It opens, and it’s... a human man.

(With atrocious attire, but that’s about it.)

There doesn’t appear to be a dog with him. Susie lowers her weapon and looks up at him, putting on an innocent face like she wasn’t about to spray him down.

“... Hello there, sir! Allow me to be the first to welcome you to your new home! Please excuse the unusual state of the room. It’s for my...” Pause. “My roommate’s cat?”

Good morning / good night sentences!

What the hell? 

First off, ‘morning cleaning music’ implied that Travis did the dishes on a daily basis, which couldn’t be further from the truth. It was a weekly sort of deal. 

Second— and far, far more importantly… 

“Who the fuck are you?!” Travis shouted, whirling around to face the squared-up home invader in hand-to-soap-covered-hand combat. 

absolutely terrible, he’d get lost in a mall, he spent 500,000 years locked in a small space and the only reason he could navigate THAT is because he MADE it (and it’s not even complicated, all the rooms are connected by an elevator)

they’re not really feeling this "break everything in sight” thing anymore. but a job’s a job, and they’d hate to lose their powers all over again when they’re just starting to get back into the swing of it. this is the first time they’ve ever been able to fully use their powers in an urban setting, without any care or concern for whether or not people would freak out or try to capture them. the novelty of being so visible with their powers still hasn’t worn off, even if they’re getting bored of smashing mailboxes. 

they fly as high as they can without feeling dizzy (something they’ve learned is a limitation of the city, not their powers) before letting themselves free-fall back down, summoning bubbles to bounce off of and slow their descent every ten feet or so. 

upon hitting the ground, giggling, they right themselves and take a look around. hmm... maybe they can find something new to keep things exciting. something like...

huh. a parked car. they’ve been trying to avoid damaging them in case they made a big mess and hurt someone, but the only people they can see are all the way down the block. as long as they’re careful...

something that’s good at punching, but not too good. they don’t wanna machamp this car to pieces! after a moment of deliberation, they land on the street, shifting into a breloom.

with one blow, they crunch the passenger side door of the car inward. but they’re not done there. they follow up with a rapid flurry of punches, hopping all around the vehicle, shattering glass and denting metal. 

It hasn’t even been a whole day since he was sent down to this city with the mission to destroy it and honestly he was having the time of his life. He was finally doing what he was created to do! No limitations,just go ham! But there was a bit of a itch that he just couldn’t quite scratch yet....

                                                          The other Bandicoot..... Oh how he really wanted to find that little bugger and go all out on him. Scowling,the mutant bandicoot storms through the street,blue eyes glancing over to empty streets as a good amount of the residents had already run for cover. He honestly couldn’t help but smirk at that....This is everything he liked and oh boy how Crunch enjoyed he was the one of the causes of everyone cowering in fear....

He stops on the spot suddenly,blue eyes narrowing as he slightly glances behind him. HIs hands clenching into fists as he lets out a deep chuckle.