#moldie

This made mevthink of you 💯

That mental health thing u reblogged is so true like when I was at my absolute lowest i needed help like at a critical level, it was so hard to find it because people were generally too scared of me -- which is fine, except for they treated me like i was just a bad person who didn't deserve help anymore because my trauma and emotions were manifesting in aggressive and paranoid ways.

I was caught in between needing to be hard and sharp to handle the real world and needing to seem soft enough to deserve support, and obviously I went with the prior because the latter would have been a death sentence.

The whole mental health community felt like it was just for talking about spoons and taking bubble baths and unplugging from the internet but not someone who was living through what felt like an actual warzone because while also having at the time severe BPD and PPD. It felt like yeah, they need help too, but why do ONLY they get help when they're way better off than I am???

But, it all has a happy ending, and while those people continued to be how they are -- which is arrogant know it alls that need to admit they are not qualified to make calls about who is victimized in the "right" way -- I got on mood stabilizers, I got help from my boyfriend with actually tackling the root problems of my life which was almost entirely just my family, and I've just officially cut off the last family member that tried to ruin my life and am finally free‼ :o) and he helped me do it all in such a respectful way where he taught me how to utilize my strong points for defense without ever having to resort to violence, and it all worked like a fucking dream. I am genuinely the most content I've ever been, and my scariness didn't scare those who actually love me away, because they understood where it was coming from and knew I wasn't bad, i was just angry and scared and carrying a lot of hatred because I knew deep down I didn't deserve to be treated so poorly. That community made me feel like I couldn't have help until I proved I deserved it but FUCK EM‼ I got loved for me and am getting help becoming the woman I want to be 💯

You when Gamzee starts sucking toes

man,,

You when you hear that motherfucker ho ho ho ing