#mogram

Mogram has never thought highly enough of himself to have anything really resembling self-esteem, or at the very least he hasn't had it since he was a child. as of the events of BG3 he's somewhere between 60 and 70 years old, which I estimate to be in the late 30s, early 40s for half elves.

this isn't old by any means for elves or other long-lived races, but considering the style of life he's led, he is OLD. being only 12 years old when he was snatched up and dragged to the Underdark, he spent 20-ish years as a gladiator, then another 30-ish as a raider, then most recently as a privately "employed" guard for one of the Houses in Menzoberranzan. by all accounts, his employment history and status as a half-drow mean he should have bit it LONG AGO.

in fact, he WOULD be dead, if not for the lucky(?) timing of the Nautaloid scooping up any living humanoid it could get its suckers on. he got nabbed while he was bleeding to death in the wilderness somewhere near Neverwinter, so he starts the game with a fresh, tender scar.

he's never had cause to be self-conscious of himself; but seeing other people with similar faults and flaws, noticing how he's attracted to these people, drives a measure of self loathing in his mind.

everyone else's scars are beautiful, his own are ugly. everyone else deserves to be strong, move on and conquer their demons. Mogram is just a ragged old mongrel, deserving only of a shallow grave.

right now I'm not sure whether Ascended or Spawn Astarion is Mogram's canon ending. the fact that I know so much more about how he would act with Ascended Astarion tempts me to think that it's the canon one, or at the very least his default one, if no outside factors work on him or Astarion.

Mogram is from the Underdark. loyalty is almost non-existent, at least at his social level. the fact that Astarion has treated him kindly, gently, as a partner is completely foreign to him, and the feelings that come from that are frightening. he has no precedent for it.

he's inclined to encourage Astarion to take over the Ascension ritual, because revenge and power are things he understands. they're things he wants for himself, but he doesn't think he will ever be able to achieve. he feels these strange emotions towards Astarion; he wants to give Astarion the things he cannot have for himself.

so when Astarion ascends, he assumes his role is done. but then, Astarion wants to keep him?

well. that makes sense, Mogram guesses. he's been useful. and he'd be lying if he said he didn't want to stay at Astarion's side, for as long as he could. the confidence and attention has been addictive, despite the fear. that's absolutely all it really is, right?

and then he's bitten and transformed.

and he realizes just how deeply, how completely he loves Astarion. his Master. his true Master. that anyone else thought they could claim him is a joke; he belongs here, at Astarion's hand.

and it is not enough to be Master's favorite. Mogram must be Master's only.

he kills any other spawn Astarion tries to introduce. subtly at first, just accidents while hunting. then the new spawn turn up torn to pieces on the grounds, blood clings to Mogram's fangs.

eventually, if left unchecked, Mogram's obsession would culminate in him secretly aiding groups of adventurers in attacking his Master-- just to convince Astarion that he needs Mogram to be a full vampire, he needs him to be as strong as he can be.

and then the new vampire Mogram tears his pawns to shreds, presents their still-warm hearts to his Master.

he has to be the strongest he can be. he has to be the most useful he can be. his Master deserves no less.

how things go from there is really anyone's guess. I have thoughts of them trying to make it work, but it involves long periods of time spent far apart so that their vampiric instincts don't have the chance to tell them to kill each other.

since he is a Forgotten Realms babe, Mogram suffers from Forgotten Realms Drow Society, which since he's male and only HALF Drow, means he has gotten a pretty bad hand. his father was a second son that got a little too cocky with the help, and his mother had to choose between staying and absolutely dying, or running and maybe surviving.

his mother, Mariska, raised him in relative isolation for the first eleven or so years of his life. she didn't like people at the best of times, and too many people asked too many questions about her little blue son with red, red eyes. they moved frequently, and Mariska taught Mogram to hunt and forage so he could care for himself whenever she had to leave him for work.

his fondest memory is of her showing him how to properly use a knife; he had tried to peel an apple like he'd seen her do, and cut himself and gotten upset. Mariska calmly showed him how to dress up his cut, then how to angle the knife so it took minimal force to cut. he doesn't remember his mother's face, but he does remember her steady hands, knuckles and fingers crossed with pearly scars.

Mogram is a LOT like his mother; same stern brow, same searching eyes, same little bump in the bridge of the nose, and of course, the same nasty bitter scowl.

(in the goblin camp at the Temple of Selûne, near the central fire)

Gale: Ugh. How... horrible.

Mogram: I know... Dwarf needs to be cooked slow and low, so the fat renders into the meat. Otherwise it gets dry and tough, and the fat all turns to gristle.

Gale: ... I'm. Going to pretend you never said that.

Mogram: (audibly disappointed) Mm.

(random banter)

Wyll: -- And THAT'S how my finger got reattached for the second time. So, Mogram... How did you lose half your ear?