Hi! So I’m making a Klaus (Netflix film) and Date everything crossover because I’m weird and want to include my favorite characters with my other favorite characters. (soul purpose is for self shipping I’m being so fr)… ANYWAYS I have the AU’ed versions of Klaus characters on my artfight, OPALSENT, it has descriptions of the characters and what their deal is in the DE universe.
Okay so I’ve really been needing Mogens in my life and I made a fake-play-through interaction with him. It’s not the first interaction you’d have with him, it’s like the 5th or 6th. And it’s VERY SUGGESTIVE so be warned.
Also apologies for possibly ooc Mogens and grammatical mistakes… enjoy.
— last warning… it’s suggestive! Mature themes —
OKAY OKAY so context (explained better on artfight) he is a toy boat from the 17th or 18th century— whatever time the movie takes place in— and his story is that you’ve recently found him with Klaus (embodiment of an abandoned/forgotten gift).
Basically he’s hasn’t really been out for so long, right? So he’s very sensitive to touch— and despite what you might believe, easily flustered. He hasn’t had anything sort of connection for so long… so any touch will make him crazy.
It’s not what you would expect from him because of how charming and sassy his character is up to this point. I think that makes this fun. idk I’m just typing shiz.
He’s the only one in my crossover AU who gets freaky like this, everyone else gives you kisses. That’s it… that is until realization because I think in base game all the characters have the option to be physical, so it kinda has to apply to my crossover characters.
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WIp before I sleep, been really into Klaus lately ESPECIALLY THIS GUY I really wanna hug him! He was particularly difficult to draw and very out of my comfort zone but its been really fun practicing!
Watched it during the holidays when it came out, and watched it just last year for Christmas. Feel like even watching it again to help me cope. It never fails to be an amazing animated film, that made me laugh, and made me cry. It's really a comforting masterpiece to watch.
But, I have some important questions for all those lurking Klaus fans out there...
Why is Mogens so attractive? What's the reason behind this attraction? Is it because he's voiced by Norm Macdonald? What the fuck is it, I need answers???
AN: let’s pretend I posted this yesterday like I wanted. But this year really didn’t feel like Christmas & I’m desperately trying to chase that festive feeling. I hope y’all had a great holiday tho! Please enjoy this lil Klaus fic, I’ve wanted to write something for this movie ever since I first saw it & finally got around to it. Just a short & silly lil fic, nothing too crazy. Not sure if Alva’s ooc, but I like the idea of her being completely smitten with the new cringe fail mailman so I went with that. Mogens ships them so hard, but really it’s just more fuel for teasing. Merry late Christmas, & happy holidays!
For years, Alva has wanted nothing more than to leave this loathsome, frozen wasteland of hate where dreams come to die. She thought teaching in a northern village at the edge of the world would be charming, quaint even.
Except it was pure and utter hell from the moment she arrived. Mogens even stooped so low as to pull the battle bell trick on her: an innocent, bright eyed teacher who just wanted to know where all the children were.
"Well, you gotta ring the school bell. How else will they know class is in session?"
"Shouldn't the bell be attached to the school?" she questioned, eying the rusty bell warily, holding the rope in a loose grip.
"Sadly, this was all we could afford," Mogens sighed sadly and shook his head. Alva shrugged, and pulled the rope.
She shuddered at the memory, cursing the ferryman under her breath. Sometimes, his jokes went too far, but that's just classic Mogens.
As she looked around, things didn't seem so bad. Sure she'd chipped away at half of her savings by now, but the more she thought about it, the more she wanted to stay. And now, there was actually a reason to. Those kids needed her. And they were the spark that she needed in her life.
But... surely another spark wouldn't hurt.
She found herself thinking about Jesper more than she cared to admit- hell, she was doing it now. But there was just something about him that drew her in. Sure he was a bit whiny and stuck up, but he had a tender heart. And if it weren't for him, she wouldn't be walking home from school with a smile on her face.
It was the greatest gift anyone could have given her.
If anyone asked, Alva would say her cheeks were so flushed from the cold. Definitely no other reason.
She had to stop by the store to grab a few things, noticing a pack of Christmas cards by the checkout. She grabbed them on a whim, tossing them onto the counter along with the loaf of bread and milk. She didn't even know what she'd do with them; they just looked pretty, and Christmas was right around the corner.
She supposed she could give one to Mogens. For the longest time, he was the closest thing she had to a friend, despite all the jokes made at her expense. He offered begrudging support whenever she needed it, and conversation when she was lonely. A card would be nice. Not that he'd ever admit it. He'll probably laugh at it.
Oh well, he could use some holiday cheer.
And if she was giving one to him, then she should absolutely give one to Jesper. It would just be plain rude not to! And to be completely honest, she bought them with him in mind. He was doing so much for everyone else, but what had he gotten in return?
The woodsman also deserved a card. Such a recluse could use a bit of human connection and kindness. She wasn't quite sure, but something told her that he would appreciated the sentiment.
As she made her list, she came to a stunning realization. They had a postman. An honest to God, working postman who didn't leave after a month. Which meant that she could actually send a card to her family.
Tears welled in her eyes as she realized that for once, there would still be a mailman around by the time they send a response.
~~~
Envelopes in hand, she waltzed right into the post office. Mogens leaned on the counter, chatting with Jesper as he tried his best to ignore him. He heard the doorbell chime, calling out, "Just a minute," as he finished organizing his desk. He turned around expecting to see another child, lighting up when he saw Alva instead.
"Well hello stranger! Fancy seeing you here," he teased. She couldn't help but roll her eyes. Mogens snorted, clearly amused.
"Hi Jesper, Mogens," the tone of her greeting shifted drastically depending on who was addressed. "I just need to mail some letters."
"Really? That's a shock, I didn't know you had friends," the ferryman chuckled snidely.
She fixed him with a harsh glare, sneering, "Like you do?"
"Sure, got three of 'em, right here," he drawled.
Jesper opened his mouth to speak, "Aw, that's-"
"And their names are me myself and I. Ha!" He barked out a laugh at his own joke, slapping a hand on his knee.
"Heeey!" Jesper scolded, which only made him laugh harder.
"Don't worry, you're working your way up to an acquaintance," he taunted. Jesper rolled his eyes, crossing his arms with a huff.
"Lucky me."
Alva watched the exchange with a fond expression, a smirk playing at her lips. Mogens caught her staring and shot her a wink. Her eyes widened and a blush spread across her cheeks. Her blush darkened when he proceeded to prod Jesper's side, earning a loud shriek.
"Lighten up, will ya!" he teased, smirking in response to the mailman's glare, but it didn't hold a candle to Alva's steely gaze. Not that it was a competition or anything.
"I'll pass," Jesper deadpanned, negated by the smile twitching at his lips. Mogens shrugged, walking backwards towards the door.
"Alright then. I'll leave you to your mail," he waved goodbye before shutting the door, leaving the pair alone.
"What's that supposed to mean? Like, why'd he say it like that? Mail," he mocked, smiling proudly when Alva giggled.
"Oh you know how he is," she shook her head, leaning against the front desk. "But believe it or not, I really do have something to mail."
"Do you now?" he asked, quirking a brow.
She pulled the envelopes out of her pocket, and his eyes lit up.
"Four somethings! You know, I think this is a new record," he mused as he took the small stack from her. He began stamping, but something caught his eye. "Wait, what's this? Is- is this my name?" he asked, pointing at the letter clearly marked Jesper Johansson in fancy letters.
"Well would you look at that, the postman can read," she taunted to distract from her own growing embarrassment.
"Oho, we're gonna play that game, are we? In that case, I think I'll read it right now," he countered, making sure to stamp it before reaching for the letter opener.
"You can't read that right now!" she sounded just a smidge more frantic than she was going for, but it made Jesper stop in his tracks.
"Uuuh, why not?" he asked.
"Because... it's a Christmas card, so you have to wait!" she justified.
"Ha! That silly little rule only applies to children and presents. Everyone knows that," he brushed her off, tearing open the envelope.
The last thing Alva wanted was to be standing there while he read what she wrote. It was sappy and cheesy, and she even drew a Christmas tree! He was supposed to read it at home, when she was nowhere around to see his reaction!
Alva acted quickly, snatching the card from his hands just as he was about to open it. "Hey, what gives!"
"I told you what gives," she smirked triumphantly. She hopped up to sit on his desk, swinging her feet as she hummed a Christmas song. Jesper eyed her from behind, moving ever so slowly before suddenly reaching out to snatch it from her grasp.
"Aha! I win!" he proclaimed, waving the card in the air. Alva yelped when he yanked it away, spinning around to face him.
"Give that back!"
"See, I really would, buuuut, you mailed this to me, so I'd need a return stamp to give it back, and I'm fresh out," he explained, sporting an exaggerated pout to aid in the lie, even if he knew it wouldn't fool her for a second.
"Don't need it back, just want you to wait 'til Christmas," she bargained. Jesper looked from Alva, to the card, then back to Alva.
"And if I don't..." he trailed off, looking expectantly.
She remembered the way he jumped when Mogens poked his side and smirked.
"Then I'll do this." Rather than explain herself, she lunged forward, skittering her fingers up his ribs. He squealed and threw himself against the back wall to get away.
"NOHO! How did you even kno- Mogens!" he gasped at the realization. He tickled him in front of Alva on purpose! He was sure of it!
"To be honest, I probably would've figured it out," she said casually, as though she wasn't currently taking him apart. "You just look like you'd be crazy ticklish," she couldn't help but tease.
Jesper flailed and yelped as she moved to his belly, doubling over in laughter.
"Thahahat's like thehe meanest thihihing you've ehever said tohoho mehehe!" he whined, slowly sinking to the floor. She followed him, kneeling beside him.
"Really? 'Cause I meant it as a compliment." And she did. He was awkward and lanky, with a dorky smile and goofy laugh; how could he be anything other than incredibly sensitive?
Jesper's blush darkened at her words, and he curled into a protective ball on the ground. He swatted weakly at her hands, bubbly giggles spilling out.
"Wehehell ihihit's not aha very good one!" he managed to speak through his laughter, so clearly she wasn't tickling enough.
"What, you don't agree?" she cooed, reaching up to scribble behind his ears. Jesper let out a loud snort, immediately slapping not one, but both hands over his mouth. Alva didn't bother hiding her delight, "Oho my God, you snort, too? That's adorable!"
Jesper was sure he was going to die. What a way to go: tickled to death by his (admittedly kinda mean) crush. Arguably worse than freezing to death, and with none of the dignity.
He shook his head frantically, muffled squeals and snorts mingling with his trapped laughter.
"No? Then what would you call it?" she taunted, but Jesper was nothing if not a stubborn brat.
"Hohow about ugly and stupid?" Even though he meant what he said, he really did mean it as a joke. Maybe even garner up enough sympathy to make her stop.
"What did you just say?"
Uh oh.
"I-I uh-"
Clearly that was the wrong thing to say.
"You don't need to be so hard on yourself, Jesper. Take it back," she demanded. He opened his mouth to argue, but twitching fingers along his waist drew out a bark of laughter instead.
"OHOKAY, FINE! You wihihin! I'll dohoho ahahanythihing you wahahant!" he pleaded, unsure how long he could last under such torture. Alva hummed in thought, smirking proudly.
"Anything, huh?" she asked, giggling when Jesper merely groaned. "How about you just save that card for Christmas, and we'll call it even."
"Even? HA! You call that round of torture getting even? For a- a joke! Yeah right, I think you just enjoy bullying me," he complained more so just to be dramatic.
"Yeah well, you make it pretty easy," she drawled, offering him a hand up. He glared at her for a moment before accepting the gesture.
"What're you talking about? I didn't do anything!"
"That's what makes it so easy," she shot back, leaving him speechless. She slipped his Christmas card back in the opened envelope and handed it back.
"You..." he trailed off, shaking the card in her direction in a chastising motion, "Are a piece of work."
She smirked and gave a small shrug. "Aw, thank you!"
"Y'know, I think you might have your compliments and your insults mixed up," he teased, watching as she slowly made her way to the door.
"Or maybe you do."
Jesper had no time to question what she meant before she slipped out the door, back into the cold.