#moderndaymen

“If I could give advice to boys growing up in 2015, I would say, ‘always ask as many questions as you can’.

I feel that when I was transitioning from my adolescence into manhood I was constantly asking how to do things, how do I organize my life? Always asking! 

Some people – for example – who have been treated like princes for whom everything get done for them – meals, laundry, everything – they don’t know how to do basic things for themselves, even though they’ve gone through the motions of pursuing their passion and their careers, getting into a prestigious school, graduating, moving out on their own. They never asked questions, and even though we’re the same age, we’re in the same place in life (living in Toronto, trying to make a living as performers) they’re way behind. 

You should never hesitate or be scared to ask, learn and move forward. Don’t let your pride hinder your self-development.”

“When did I feel like I’d stop being a boy, and become a man? It was probably in 2009, when I moved from Belleville to Germany. My parents flew with me, showed me the city. My uncle was 20 minutes away in another small town. But when my parents went back home, that was it. I had to cook on my own, I had to be independent, I had to get myself to rehearsal on time, I had to keep myself healthy. That’s when it really kicked in that I had to do this on my own, I had to be fully independent. That’s when my sense of my manhood started.

I know what I have to do personally for myself in order to further my career, pursue my goals, which are completely different from what my dad would have done, or felt like he had to do.

I don’t feel any pressure to hit any milestones or do anything to prove my manhood in the same way that I think previous generations had to.

I mean, sometimes I think about the future, settling down. I would like to have a family, but there so many things I want to do and things I want to accomplish first. My priorities are different from theirs.”

"These days there's really no responsibility to give back to your manhood. When my dad was a kid 'manhood' meant you've got to be strong, you've got to be tough, you've got to be responsible. It was just the same but even more extreme for my grandpa; like you owed something back for becoming a man. Even my uncle, who’s 36, grew up in different time - he was terrorized in a very physical way. Taught intimidation. I never got that kind of treatment.

I do everything in my power to get rid of this sort of responsibility. That’s a point of modern manhood I would say.

I do take *some* responsibility for myself, and that’s why I see myself as a man. I wouldn’t put myself in a position where I would have to ask for help, and I pride myself on learning from other people’s mistakes. But today there's more importance on what you do as an individual. I’m definitely a more caring, sensitive individual as a result of all of these things."

“I want my wife to be able to bench as much as me, even if selfishly in the back of my mind, I like being the man to this woman.

I have often said I am a feminist. I’m sure the word is a lot older than I’m aware of, and it came from a time when women needed empowerment. The word itself is a little bit archaic in this day and age, but are we going to get rid of it? No. Everything about the concept is fantastic, its awesome, and I totally get behind it.

I’m all about people’s differences. I’m the first guy to crack a joke about this; because we are different, and I want to celebrate those differences so long as they’re not rude or demeaning. Men and women are different, and I think that’s what’s awesome about us.”

“My mom was the one who laid the foundation that developed my morals and ethics. The installation of order and process was crucial, and she helped me to understand its importance in my everyday life.

I want to empower women to help them achieve their goals, by being supportive and understanding.”

“Whether or not a man is ‘modern’ seems to be defined by how much they adhere to what's trendy, whether it's fashion, group thoughts, or even the activities that people take part in. Nowadays, I think being modern is a concept that revolves around being yourself. Whether it's going to art events or taking up knitting to doing Crossfit or being a Netflix aficionado, it's more accepted to be true to yourself now than it has in the past.

In short, a modern day man is one that does what makes him happy and what allows him to pursue the things that he enjoys.

I started seeing myself as a man when I was 17 when I started planning the next steps in my life. Seems like a minor step to most, but this provided the guidance and understanding I required to mature mentally and emotionally.

This was the defining moment that contributed to my understanding of life, and it facilitated the creation of discipline that has been used throughout my career.”

“Growing up I related to characters from Japanese culture, such as video game and anime characters, who were soft-spoken, virtuous, and modest - traits which are seen as feminine in Western culture. Now, as an adult, my influence from Japanese culture continues from following Japanese street style blogs. My interest in eccentric European menswear designers such as Walter van Beirendonck and Bernhard Willhelm has also pushed my ideas of masculinity to new extremes.

On the other hand, most of my cultural influences have been female artists, entertainers, and politicians. Many of them are outspoken, strong-willed, and they push a lot of boundaries. When I was growing up so many of my influences were female musicians, from Spice Girls in the 90s, to Emily Haines and Karen O in the mid-2000s, to Björk and Sia Furler in recent years.

In my personal life, my mum is the most influential woman; she is extremely supportive, understanding, and accepting of my eccentricities. I also had some great female teachers in school who influenced me, encouraging my self-expression and doing their best to help me survive the educational system.

I relate strongly to feminism because I understand oppression, and the fear that comes with being oppressed from the perspective of being a gay man. I recognize the ways in which misogyny affects my life as well as the lives of people of any gender identity. I believe that intersectional feminism is one of the most important movements of our time, but it’s also arguably the most misunderstood.”

"What does it mean to be a modern man? Being true to yourself, regardless of society's expectations. Fortunately, in western culture people's differences are becoming more accepted than they ever have been, but we still have a long way to go before those differences are considered equal to the norm.

My biggest piece of advice to anyone growing up today would be that the definition of 'man' is not terribly important. Strict definitions of what a man should be cause too much insecurity. I believe that most men don't actually fit into the expectations society has for them, but they will jump through hoops just to pretend that they do. I think it's more important to be a good person, which I define as having empathy for those who suffer and the courage to fight against oppression."