This can definitely be an autism thing. We generally have troubles with expressing ourselves through emotions or even have trouble identifying the emotions we want to express. Many autistic people also have a lot of trouble with physical contact, whether the trouble is with receiving it or initiating it. This could be in part because we have trouble with social queues so what you’re experiencing could be not knowing if the hug will be well received, so now you just default to not initiating hugs. 

It could be, but I feel like there isn’t enough information to give you a more concrete response. Do you pause a lot because you need a break, because you’re noticing too much, etc? Is it about paying attention?

Personally, I have trouble with watching very specific things because I can’t do just one thing at a time. I need to be doing multiple things, like playing an app, watching something, and checking tumblr all at once. Some things are really hard to watch like this, because you need to specifically look at the screen all the time to not miss anything. And some shows I can’t watch on bad days because I have trouble understanding them (I can’t watch Gossip Girl because they speak too fast, for instance).

If it’s an attention thing, it could be autism. It could be something else. I’m sorry I can’t give you a more exact answer.

- palp

If it’s an attention thing, it might be worth exploring ADHD to see if that’s something that fits your experience as that is more typical of ADHD than autism. 

I don’t know of any skype groups, maybe our other mods do? But mod wren made an autism discord a couple months ago - message them and they’ll give you an invite. There are also spoonie discords but I can’t find the invites any longer. You can go here to make a discord account - it’s used by a lot of groups now for chat purposes.

It could be a pressure stim, in which case, yes it would be an autism thing.

If you were taught to sit on your hands to enforce “quiet hands” then that is not strictly an autistic thing but many who are taught that are autistic (some also/instead have adhd). However, I think I would argue that the repression of stimming is a culturally enforced trait of autism (and some other neurodivergencies).

Just remember that if you do something specifically seeking any sort of stimulation (pressure, enjoying a soft/textured/hard/smooth surface, liking a noise, etc), that can be considered a stim.

Everything you explained can be related to autism.

Many of us go semiverbal when stress goes up, especially when frustrated. I find I experience a lot of anxiety when I get really frustrated, it just feels like I have a lot of energy I don’t know how to get rid (often I scream into a pillow).

Frustration is also a big lead in to meltdowns. Anger during meltdowns is really common - those tantrums autism moms love putting on the internet? They’re most likely meltdowns.

What could help, in situations like this, is removing yourself. If you start going semiverbal or like you just need to shut up that other person, leave. Going and sitting in the bathroom for a while can be effective, because people are supposed to leave you alone there. You can also try having a card or something that explains “I am getting frustrated. When I get frustrated, it becomes hard to communicate. I can no longer discuss this right now, please respect my boundaries and allow me time to calm down.”

It could be. You can read up more on shut downs in our tag and FAQ.

It could also simply be that you’re decompressing. Decompression is an important part of a lot of people’s day and helps to de-stress from something. It usually means being alone and distancing yourself from the stressful thing, in this case, prolonged socialization. 

I, for instance, usually need to decompress after therapy, because that’s a lot of intense talking about things that are really important to me. I need to decompress whether I’m talking all about good things or about bad or a mixture. I also need to decompress if I’m out in public for a prolonged period of time.

This sounds more like decompression to me, but ultimately you’ll know more about these times than anyone else. Look into the topic and consider if it fits better or not.

A lot of autistic people are described as unhappy or perpetually frowning. While my mother describes me as a happy baby, my father says that I barely responded to direct interactions.

The problem with anyone describing a baby when it comes to this is it’s often seen as a binary, i.e., the baby is either a happy baby or a grumpy/angry baby. Babies that don’t smile all the time are viewed as frowning.

This is a problem throughout life, as even now when I have a neutral expression on my face, I often get told “hey stop frowning/hey smile!”

So I think technically, a lot of autistic babies will be viewed as grumpy, because traits can show in infancy and this can mean a baby doesn’t want to make eye contact or doesn’t respond to facial stimuli like an allistic child would, thus wouldn’t act like a “normal” “happy” baby.

I don’t know how common it is but I have a similar problem. I can only use dish soap to wash my hands because bar soap and liquid hand soap feel like they leave residue, especially if they’re scented. We have bad water where I live, so every now and then there’s a semi stale scent to the clothes from the laundry, especially if they weren’t immediately put in the dryer. No one else seems to notice it, but I’ll be sitting there and I can smell it and soon it’ll be like that’s the only thing I smell.

Part of this is most likely related to perseveration, where even if the stimulus to cause a response is gone, you can’t let go of the response. So even if I can’t really smell the stale laundry smell, I will not be able to let it go and have to change.

If this is a consistent problem that impacts everyday life, you could consider getting a nose/nasal filter. Some of them are marketed as blocking most strong scents. You can also try wearing a scent necklace. Find a non offensive scent (best if it’s one you enjoy) and wear it around your neck (or keep it in a bag/on you somehow), and smell it when necessary.

If you’re short on money or want to try an at home version, you can get a small container (a small vial, a pill container, temporary filling jar minus the temp fillings, even a cheap contacts container, etc) and fill it with either candle wax from your preferred scent (you can microwave the candle, I have a more specific DIY on my personal blog of you can message me for additional details) or use epsom salt and a few drops of essential oil.

If you carry around a purse, you can also buy a small candle in a jar or put either an incense cone or wax square in baggie/small container and carry that.

You can also buy premade scene necklaces, including these nice ones that are vented with a little ... wax paper? Gauze? I can’t remember what goes inside but you put a few drops of essential oil on it and because it’s vented, you should be able to constantly smell it. I’ve found those for sale between 10-25 USD.