“Babe, there's something broken about this But I might be hoping about this. Oh, what a sin”
It was strange, how familiar this was, and yet how estranged, unique. There were shadows of their old relationship, curled wisps hidden in the crease of Natsu’s eyes, and taunt line of Gray’s jaw, but it was close enough to what Gray remembered that he let himself bask in it for just a moment.
Natsu’s light was contagious, and yet Gray still felt like he was chasing it, barely catching up in time before it was gone again, lost to the wind. Gray was endeared with that whimsical nature, but a part of him - and he could never tell how large that part was - envied it as well. Envied how easy it was for Natsu to stray from the darkness, when Gray found himself toeing that line, wondering if maybe that life really was an easier one.
These thoughts were fleeting, inconsequential; he took his medication, had a glass of whiskey, and he was fine. Or as close as he ever got to that. But the year without Natsu was hard, harder than Gray had ever expected, and to be reunited so suddenly... Gray was shaken, engulfed with joy and lust and frustration.
Although their fingers were rough and demanding, their lips were desperate, and they moved together quickly, urgently. Gray had one hand on the wall beside Natsu’s head, the other bruising his hip as he ensured that Natsu remained pinned between the wall and his body. Natsu had no complaints, of course, responding with every movement and touch exactly like Gray remembered, only with more confidence.
They had both changed in this year. Gray wondered how anyone, let alone someone like Natsu, could want him, love him, when he fit so well into a dark guild. Like he was supposed to be there. The charred marks on his arm and face seemed to tingle, teasing him, and Gray took his frustration out on Natsu’s lips, crushing them in his craving to just lose himself for a while.
It was a sin, someone like Gray being with someone like Natsu, but his head was already shrouded in darkness, his body only a few steps behind, and not for the first time Gray thought that maybe instead of slaying the demons, he should admit that he was one of them.
Natsu scratches his fingers along Gray’s back, and when they pull apart, connected only by a string of saliva, there’s a wetness to Natsu’s complexion that is almost ready to overflow. He clutches Gray, leans into him, disbelieving.
“I missed you so much, Gray.”
And Gray kisses him tenderly in response, because there are no words, no fathomable utterances, to explain how Gray feels in that moment. Lucky, maybe. Or just plain in love.
Lucy’s voice carries over to them, and Gray swipes away any sign of Natsu’s emotion with his thumb. In return, Natsu places one last lingering kiss to Gray’s lips, and it’s sweet, and probably more than he deserves, but he takes it gratefully, drinks it in and harnesses it. Because he lived a life without Natsu, and only then did Gray realise that Natsu must be made from Earthland’s rarest minerals, because his soul craves them like nothing else, and yet cannot find them in any other person, or beverage.
Living like this, so dependant, was a sin, but Gray thinks that the greatest sin of all was denying himself something as beautiful as Natsu, and he would not starve himself of oxygen when his lungs were already full of love.
Their fingers brushed against one another, and they share a secretive, fond smile before Lucy rounds the corner, glaring at them. And then it’s back to work, back to the battle ahead, and Gray fights like he had not done in a year, his strength returning with the taste of Natsu’s mouth still on his. He was weak, he knew, but if his biggest weakness was Natsu... that was a sin that Gray could live with.
For @revlischarm. Thank you for persevering with us <3
