INTJ: ENFP. You're an Extravert. What do you mean? You network for FUN.

ENFP: I don't even really network with an end goal. You call it networking, I call it trying to make friends, you INTJ.

whether it tis nobler in the mind to suffer

the slings and arrows of outrageous sarcasm,

or to take arms against a sea of idiocy

and by opposing end them. To shitpost - to lurk,

no more; and by post to say we end

the boredom and the thousand natural shocks

that social media is heir to: 'tis a consummation

devoutly to be wish'd. To shitpost, to lurk;

To lurk, perchance to lol - ay, there's the rub:

For in that shitpost of satire what nose-snorts may come,

when we have shuffled off this haitus coil,

INTP: I do not like turkey.

INTJ: ...

INTJ: Hello to you too.

INTP: Oh right. Hello.

INTP: Sorry, my dislike of the bird was at the forefront as I scrabble for food.

INTP: I ordered a pizza. Fuck it.

INTJ: I’m just tickled that they thought the poetic bits were real poems repurposed.

ENFP: It’s great so I can see why

INTJ: Shh

ENFP: Don’t fucking shush me you talented bitch

So we made a Discord Server. Why? For fun and to make it even easier to connect with you guys. 

Hey guys!

I know Contra and I have been slacking on the memes lately. Sadly, we’ve both been super busy, and 2018 was kind of a rough year for both of us. BUT - in an effort to start changing the course for 2019, I’m happy to announce that one of our big ideas for this blog is coming true this year!

What the hell are you talking about Callida?

Excellent question, loyal follower! A long time ago, Contra and I decided we wanted to start a REAL blog. Like with actual posts and stuff, not just this meme-pit that you guys love more than we ever expected you to. But something we could call our own.

Did you know we’re both writers? We are! Mostly for fun in our limited free time, but I’m working on making writing a full-time career that I don’t hate as much as I hate small talk! And to do that, I’m here to basically give you guys first dibs on how we kick off our Real™ Blog.

Please, please, please, fill out this super short survey. It’s only 4 questions and takes less than 3 minutes to fill out (unless you have a lot to say in the comment boxes or something). 

I hate when people ask me to fill shit out too, but again - you guys have gotten us this far, so it’s only fair in my eyes to give you a chance to be heard anonymously as I go full steam ahead with both this blog and the “Real” one.

I’m trying to keep this post short, since no one likes a stupidly long post. But, if you guys would like to know more about the blog idea and what my plans are for it, drop us an ask! We’re not abandoning this blog or our sweet, sweet psychology memes, but it would be awesome to turn this into something Contra and I can call our own. And I’m looking forward to writing about everything from Psychology stuff to Writing stuff - or whatever you guys are interested in!

INFP: *anxious* I don’t want to lie, is it rude if I’m honest?

INTJ: The concept of “rudeness” is more of a personal problem, imo? 

INTJ: Honesty isn’t rude. Being pushy and willfully ignorant of others’ limitations is. So be honest.

INFP: … You’re a fucking icon and I aspire to be you.

INTJ: …I mean…I’m an asshole?

Hi Nonny,

How do you know if an INTJ is attracted to you? 

This one is tricky, partially because I don’t get crushes often and I rationalize being attracted to someone physically as being different from crushing on them - if that makes sense. 

Physical attraction? Behavior doesn’t change, but I may briefly entertain a ‘perfect world’ fantasy where I could jump their bones guilt-and-stress-free.

Mental and emotional attraction? That’s where things get complicated. I’ve never pursued an attraction to someone unless one of my extraverted friends realized something was up and encouraged me. 

If I like someone, they’re already my friend, or quickly on their way to becoming one of my people. If I like them, then I’m going to go full INTJ and learn everything I can about them without them realizing I’m cataloging their likes, dislikes, food allergies, hobbies, etc, etc.

They usually don’t know I’m attracted to them. Just like people don’t usually know that their my main squeezes until I tell them where they sit in my mental hierarchy of people. I’ll provide them advice and solutions to their problems the same way I would with my closest friends. I’ll try to help them reach their goals in the most efficient way possible. 

I probably will not admit that I like them. I probably will avoid the topic of attraction altogether, or be very blasé about it. I will pay attention to who they find attractive if they’re vocal about that sort of thing (#OneOfTheGuys™). 

i.e. “Damn, Angela’s looking good today.” “*shrug* That color suits her. *tunes out of the conversation. Makes a mental ven diagram comparing my physical and personality traits to Angela’s*”

Depending on the results of that ven diagram, I’ll give up on the crush entirely. Did they just give me all the info I need to know that I’m not their type? Bummer. Time to file those emotions I didn’t want back where they came from. They’ll do me no good here. I’d carry on taking care of them in the ways INTJs take care of their friends and keep my emotions a secret.

As an INTJ, what personalities attract you the most?

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Unrealistic ones.

Gimmie those dark, reserved, troubled boys who hide their feelings from the world like I do, but can match that internal INTJ passion in private. Give me a survivor, a flame no one could stomp out.