#mochanekovent

On happier notes, I found out my brother had a class with and lives in the same apartment complex as Troy Wagner from MH and where some of MH is filmed. I asked my brother if he could tell him/the MH guys that I really enjoy all the slenderverse stuff and that I say hi, so maybe that'll happen. That'd be cool. :U

Also Ark is amazing. Just so you all know.

uhm.. down to the painful stuff I guess. Hopefully this'll help me feel better.. Typing it, I mean..

If any of you remember when I kept writing post after post about "my squish".. well.. things have been kinda snowballing for a while now and I've honestly just kinda given up on trying to be good friends with them.. I have no idea why, but it feels like they've been treating me a lot more harshly than they should and I just.. it's really confusing.. Like I mentioned that l4d2 was on sale and he automatically thinks I have some ulterior motive by mentioning it, like I want someone to buy it for me or something.. I just.. ~sighs~

Home is.. home... same as always.. I've been able to get out lately from time to time, but I still kinda feel trapped... alone.. all that...

This monetary situation really has me down.. I'm down about $300 I don't have because of all my crap breaking all of a sudden...

My business hasn't had any business since before Christmas and I still can't seem to get a job...

I have hundreds of dollars in beads that mom's bought me for Christmas and stuff to use with my business that is not the kind of stuff I use, but I didn't want to tell her because it would either 1) hurt her feelings, 2) make her mad that I'm too picky, 3) both, or 4) both and worse... Besides, nobody wants anything I have, and if the stuff already made doesn't get sold, I can't make more...

Since my drawing tablet died in January and I have no way to replace it, the whole "Graphic Design dream job" thing is on hold for a while..

My laptop battery died and it's just a pain in the ass to deal with now.

I miss having friends in real life I could see... that's the only part of being out of school that really sucks...

I have a couple of physical things that have really been bugging me of late. One of which actually is painful and just looking at it makes me want to puke.. and I can't get the stuff looked at because my medical insurance runs out on my birthday in ten days... and I bought those stupid hobo gloves with the only money I had just to help cover up the biggest problem..

I feel like everything is falling apart around me.. like... every dream I've let myself make for myself.. every hope I've built up.. just.. It feels like it's all falling apart right in front of me and trapping me inside the debris and I just can't.. I can't deal with it..  I really really can't and I just.. I want so bad for something to start looking up for me....