The sadness grows in his heart as he looks around the kitchen and remembers the good times he’s had there with the others. He can picture Logan lingering by the coffee pot, trying to ignore their shenanigans but his lips twitch, letting Patton know he’s amused while Virgil sits on the island in the middle of the kitchen, swinging his feet back and forth as he eggs on Roman, who is attempting to help Patton cook but learns that making pancakes is a tricky business causing Patton to chuckle as he helps to sort out the batter and give Roman an easier task while soothing his ego with his words. 

Patton shakes his head. 

He can’t do that. 

Looking back won’t do him any good. 

He runs his hand over the cool surface of the stove, sitting there unused for ages. 

Their voices and laughter echo in his head without his permission. 

Turning away from the stove, he lets out a sigh as he leans against the island, absent-mindedly tracing Virgil’s name on the counter. 

He screws his eyes shut as he remembers the door to his room slamming open then Virgil, energized by his righteous anger at Roman’s and Logan’s treatment and Janus’ acceptance, he berates Patton loudly and forcefully, not allowing his former best friend get a word in edgewise before leaving as suddenly as he came.

The cold floor comes as a shock, bringing Patton out of his memories but he can’t seem to find it in himself to care that he’s on the floor.

He’s not hungry anyways.

Shifting his position so he’s leaning back against the island with his arms around his knees. 

There’s an ache in his chest he’s been ignoring and he knows the source but he doesn’t have anyone to blame but himself for it. Listening to then accepting Janus was the right thing to do and still is especially with Thomas taking the first step. This whole thing has made him reconsider all the Sides.  

There’s an octopus plushie just waiting to be delivered as an apology and an olive branch on his dresser. 

He misses his famILY so much, he can barely think the thought before the ache grows larger and suffocates him. 

Suddenly, there’s a black and gold blur in front of him. 

Patton looks up and watches as Janus kneels down next to him with an openly concerned look on his face, which he’s not used to seeing from the other Side. 

“Patton? What ever is the matter?” Janus asks softly.

He blinks in confusion.

A yellow gloved hand moves towards him then he feels Janus’ thumb wipe away something from his cheek. Reaching up his own hand, Patton tentatively touches his other cheek and realizes it’s wet. 

He’s been crying without realizing it. 

That thought causes the waterworks to grow as he struggles to not make any noise. 

Janus cups Patton’s face with both of his hands then uses his thumbs to wipe away Patton’s tears.

“Oh Patton....”

Maybe it’s the fact that this is the most physical contact he’s had in months or maybe it’s the fact that Janus doesn’t seem to hate him and want him gone; whatever the reason, Patton tumbles towards Janus and wraps his arms around him before burying his face into Janus’s shoulder. 

Pushing his surprise and shock down, Janus moves his hands so he can hug Patton back and rub his back. 

They sit there on the floor, neither concerned by the fact but rather, focused on taking comfort from the other Side. 

Patton realizes he’s been cuddling Janus’ for a long time and can’t help thinking he’s made him uncomfortable so he pulls away with force causing him to fall on his back while Janus blinks at him.

“Patton?”

“Sorry ‘bout that Janus, I didn’t mean to do that and for that long. You probably hated it,” replies Patton, looking down at his hands. 

Janus sighs. 

“If I didn’t want the contact, if it made me uncomfortable...don’t you think I’d make it clear rather than continue it?” he asks.

“Um, yea...I guess.”

Janus does have a point.

But he can’t let himself behave that way with Janus because he went down that path with Virgil already and he’s lost his spooky best friend. Without Janus, he’d have no one to talk to so best not to do anything to rock that boat. 

Patton’s stomach decides to make its presence known, causing Patton to blush and Janus chuckle.

“Let’s get you something to eat then watch a movie,” he rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, “if you want to that is. Or, we could talk about what’s bothering you.”

“Um, a movie would be nice. Thanks Janus.”

Janus stands up and holds out a hand to Patton to help him up off of the floor. 

At least, Patton is not alone at the moment and he’ll take it because he can’t take being alone. 

He’d do anything to have his famILY back together.

“Patton’s not here, Remus. So no, the gang’s not all here,” he comments helpfully. 

“Neither are Remy or Emile,” adds Roman.

Only Remus notices how his grip tightens on the arm of the chair at the names. 

“Patton’s over at Remy and Emile’s for the afternoon,” chimes in Virgil from where he’s sitting on the floor at Janus’ feet. 

Janus narrows his eyes.

Why is Patton there? He should be here with hi-with his friends. 

Shaking his head slightly, he tries to push the thoughts of Patton away but Patton has a stubborn grip on his mind. He thinks about the last hangout and can’t help glaring at his wine glass --- the way Remy and Emile hung all over Patton (more like hogged Patton all to themselves), the weird look on Patton’s face any time Janus managed to catch Patton staring at him....how far away from him Patton stayed.

The last memory hits Janus hard in the heart and he barely manages to muffle his gasp so no one else especially Virgil can hear him. 

A hand squeezes his shoulder gently causing him to break out of his thoughts as the others argue about what to watch and look up at Remus, who stares at him with a concerned look for his best friend. 

“You alright, J?” asks Remus softly as to avoid drawing attention to themselves. 

Janus bites his lip.

“I was...ah thinking.”

Remus stares at him in confusion for a few seconds then he gets it.

“I hope this plays out the way you want it too and doesn’t end up blowing up in your face instead,” Remus states before going over to the couch and plopping down next to Logan before putting his head in Logan’s lap and taking over the rest of the couch. 

The startled expression on Logan’s face nearly makes Janus chuckle. 

Nearly. 

-----

Sometimes, making simple things in the kitchen are the most delicious and in this case, puppy chow mix is a perfect example. 

Patton grins down at the bowl and he’s sure he’s got powdered sugar on his face, at least on his glasses but he doesn’t care. All that matters is he’s making something delicious to share with all of his friends. The fact that this is one of Remus’ favorite snacks and he’s been down lately is purely coincidental. 

“Hey Pat, whatcha up to in here?”

Patton looks at the doorway and grins at the sight of Virgil standing there. 

“Hey Virge! I’m making puppy chow mix. Want some?” responds Patton.

Virgil raises an eyebrow as he tries to hide a smile at his best friend’s exuberance. 

“Is the sky blue? Of course, I want some,” he crosses the room then hops up on the counter, out of the way of Patton, “if I don’t get some now before Remus gets a hold of the Puppy Chow mix then I’ll never get some.”

Patton chuckles. 

“Oh, I’ve already made Remus his own batch, not to worry.”

Virgil nods his head. 

It’s easy to watch Patton work but it’s harder to not want to join in when Patton’s so excited about what he’s doing.

Then Virgil notices Patton’s glasses. 

“With all of the powdered sugar on your glasses, I’m amazed you can see anything at all,” he teases.

Patton simply grins at him before sticking his finger into the powdered sugar then booping Virgil on the nose. 

Blinking, it takes his brain a couple seconds to process what happened. Then Virgil laughs, drawing laughter from Patton. This is one of the reasons Patton is his best friend.

He goes over to the sink and turns on the faucet before wetting a paper towel and using it to wipe off his glasses. Making a mess is part of the fun, at least for him it is. 

Virgil shakes his head at his best friend.

As he is about to say something else, he notices Patton’s shirt isn’t completely pulled down; instead, it shows off a strip of skin above his pants on the side of his waist. There’s something there he hadn’t been expecting to see and might explain why he’s never seen Patton without a shirt on in the few years they’ve been friends. 

Why didn’t he know about it’s existence though?

It seems very unPatton-like to keep this to himself as soulmates seem like something right up his alleyway as a romantic person at heart. 

“Is that a soulmark, Patton?” asks Virgil out of the blue.

Startled, Patton jumps up then tugs on the hem of his shirt where it had risen up and showed off a yellow snake outline. 

“Uh, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Patton tries to make a mad dash out of the kitchen but Virgil blocks his exit.

“You have a soulmark and never told me?” he asks firmly.

Looking down at the floor, Patton doesn’t know how to answer. 

“What does it matter? I’m never gonna get to be with him.”

Virgil raises an eyebrow at the confession.

“Him?”

Patton meets Virgil’s gaze as he slaps his hands on his mouth.

One thing Patton’s always believed in is soulmates and he’s dreamed of meeting his soulmate but now, he knows they won’t be one of the soulmate success stories. It’s a bitter pill to swallow. 

“Are you alright, Patton?” 

Patton shakes his head then looks over at Logan who stares back at him; his lunch ignored for the moment. 

Before he answers, Patton’s ears pick up several familiar voices before spotting Janus entering the cafeteria with Roman, Virgil and Remus.

“Uh yeah, I just remembered that I need to ask my professor something about our test next week so I’m going to head out early and try to catch him before class,” he says, gathering his lunch items and his bag, “I’ll see you later, Lo.”

Patton quickly dashes over to the trash cans on the other side of the room, unaware of eyes following his every move. 

-----

Dropping heavy into his seat, Patton lets out a sigh as he runs his hand through his hair. 

“What’s good, babe?”

He turns his head to the left then smiles slightly at the sight of his friends, Remy and Emile; who just happen to be soulmates. 

“The usual,” he replies, shrugging.

Remy and Emile frown then share a look -- they’re the only ones who know about Patton’s side and are determined to give him support though Patton doesn’t want them choosing sides, it’s too late for that. 

Dropping into the seat next to Patton, Emile pulls him into a hug causing Patton to squeak in surprise but quickly returns it. 

They separate then settle in their seats as the professor enters the room.

As much as he didn’t want them choosing sides, Patton admits to himself that it’s wonderful to have their support and not be alone in dealing with this. 

-----

After class ends, Patton parts with his friends before deciding to take the long way back to his dorm because it’s a nice day out and the fresh air could do him some good. Unfortunately, he forgot this path takes him right past the theatre department. 

It hits him when he nearly falls over but Roman reaches out and steadies him by his arm.

“You alright there, Padre?” asks Roman.

Patton takes a few seconds to gather his bearings and process what happened.

“Uh, yeah. I’m good. Thanks Roman,” he gently peels Roman’s hand off of his arm, “I need to get going though. See you around.”

Before he can run away, Roman grabs his arm again then forces Patton to look at him. 

“What’s gotten into you Patton? You’ve been awfully jumpy when you’re not running away from your friends,” Roman frowns, “We’re worried about you. Is someone bothering you or something?”

Regardless of his personal feelings regarding, Roman and Janus...Patton knows Roman is a really good friend to have. 

“No, no one is bothering me and no, you guys didn’t do anything,” Patton responds. 

“Then what is it? We miss hanging out with you.”

Patton runs a hand through his hair then sighs. 

“Don’t worry, it’s me that’s the problem. Well, my problem to deal with,” says Patton softly. 

“Patton…,” replies Roman equally as soft.

Normally, someone eating an apple isn’t enough to stop someone else in their tracks. However, Patton’s mind immediately goes to the snake in the Garden of Eden and the damned apple.

It’s all that it takes for Patton to burst out laughing.

The unexpected sound causes Janus to drop the apple as he looks over at Patton laughing, his eyes wide and his mouth open. Shaking his head, Janus gathers himself then a fond smile blooms on his face as he watches Patton laugh. He could never tire of the sound. 

“Are you alright, Patton?” he asks.

Patton takes a couple deep breaths with his eyes closed before opening them and sending Janus a bright smile. 

Then he crosses the room so he’s standing next to Janus at the counter. 

“Sorry about that, Janus. It was completely random,” replies Patton sheepishly.

“Don’t apologize, it’s always lovely to hear you laugh,” compliments Janus.

Patton ducks his head and tries to hide his blush but knows he failed when he feels Janus place his hand underneath his chin and gently guide his face up so he looks Janus in the eyes. 

Unfortunately, the fond smile on Janus’ face only causes Patton’s blush to worsen. 

“Darling, please...there’s no need to hide your beautiful face from me,” he compliments once again. 

“Jannnuuussss!!!!”

Janus chuckles before stroking Patton’s flushed cheek gently. 

“Alright, I’ll stop for now so you don’t spontaneously combust on me so in the meantime, why don’t you tell me what caused your laughter,” says Janus.

He exchanged Patton’s cheek for his hand, giving it a squeeze then smiling when he felt Patton return the squeeze.

Patton nods his head.

“I got a random image or thought in my head when I saw you eating the apple. With your emblem thingy being a snake, I couldn’t help but think about the Garden of Eden,” explains Patton.

Janus blinks.

Then he snorts causing Patton to giggle. 

 “I can see how that would stop you in your tracks and make you laugh,” states Janus. 

“It’s silly, I know but I can’t help my imagination sometimes,” says Patton.

Janus places his finger on Patton’s lips then smiles when Patton kisses it but doesn’t remove the finger. 

“You don’t need to apologize for things like that, my dear. Now, I do believe we need to get lunch started before Remus decides he wants to experiment,” says Janus.

Patton takes a deep breath to clear his head.

“Ah, there you are, Patton.”

He looks over to the doorway and smiles slightly at Logan.

“Hey Lo. Getting something else to eat?” he asks.

“You would be correct, Patton. Considering the situation and your question, I conclude you are doing the same as well,” Logan replies.

Patton nods his head before focusing on choosing which pizza he wants to try next.

A loud shout then cheering comes from the living room causing Logan to roll his eyes and Patton to giggle at his antics. 

“Oh honesty. They should just kiss and put us all out of our misery,” comments Logan. 

Patton raises an eyebrow at his comment.

“Who needs to kiss?” 

Placing his plate down on the counter, Logan removes his glasses before rubbing the bridge of his nose as he sighs before replacing his glasses.

“Roman and Janus, of course. Even you, of all people can’t have missed their flirting,” answers Logan as he focuses on his selection, deciding to let up on his strict dietary choices for the evening. 

Biting his tongue, Patton’s glad that Logan is distracted and not looking at him so he can’t see the effect his words had on Patton. This proves he’s right to keep the knowledge of being Janus’ soulmate to himself. 

“It is quite the shame that Janus and Roman aren’t soulmates. They’re exhibiting all of the signs of being soulmates, just without the marks,” says Logan. 

“How do you know they’re not?” questions Patton nonchalantly.

Logan moves to stand near Patton as he takes a bite out of his pizza.

“Roman showed me his bare wrist, though he’s convinced he has one. Though, Janus...on the other hand, has been very secretive and even wears gloves, so I conclude he has a soulmate but has not met that individual yet,” explains Logan patiently.

Patton nods and pretends to agree with Logan.

“I’m gonna go back out and see if I can get in on the action.”

Patton throws out his half eaten pizza before dashing out into the living room before Logan could respond.    

This freaking sucks.

As he enters the room, Emile catches his eye before holding up the controller and Patton nods in response. Maybe, a race or two will be the distraction he needs; though, he has to walk right in front of Janus and resist the urge to scratch his mark because it becomes unbearable the longer he’s in touching distance of his soulmate. 

Patton settles on the floor before taking the controller from Emile, who settles in next to him. Then he looks around to see Virgil taking the controller from Remus and Roman holds up his controller towards Remy who shakes his head.

“Nah, I’m good. Gotta cheer on my guy, Patton,” Remy says, a smirk playing on his lips.

Until Emile coughs that is.

“Ah, I mean...our guy.”

Patton blushes as he tries to smack Remy’s leg, it being the closest part of his friend he can reach. His blush grows brighter the moment Emile snuggles up to him from behind. 

Eyes follow Patton’s antics then narrow at touches he exchanges with his friends. 

-----

Apparently, the hangout was the straw that broke the camel’s back for Patton in regards to Janus. 

He panics because his longing for his soulmate grows a little more each day. 

Part of him wants to avoid Janus but this isn’t one of Roman’s romcoms; they live on the same floor of the same dorm and share the same group of friends. Avoiding Janus is out of the question. Besides, everyone would question him and he’d be forced to reveal his secret. Patton knows it would only end rejection for him and awkwardness for everyone. 

Patton can’t deny though, avoiding Janus holds some attraction to him. 

“Hey, Pat. You good?”

Jumping slightly and slamming his knee into the counter at the unexpected voice, he winces in pain as Roman rushes over to him. The moment he realizes it is Roman, Patton stumbles backwards and lands on his butt with a loud thump.

“Patton?” asks Roman reaching out a hand to help him up. 

Looking at the offered hand, Patton sighs before getting up onto his feet under his own power and ignoring Roman completely. As he turns away, Roman’s hand shoots out and grabs him by the arm causing Patton to look at him.

“Have I done something to upset you? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” he says gently, “I miss you, Patton.”

Patton opens his mouth to respond as Janus appears in the door.

“Hey Roman? We’re gonna be late if we don’t leave….now,” he looks at the two of them with a raised eyebrow, “is everything alright in here?” 

Removing Roman’s arm from his, Patton sighs then puts on a bright smile. 

“You know me, Janus; living the dream,” he responds.

Patton brushes past Janus, roughly bumping his shoulder against Janus’ without thinking before quickly dashing to his room and closing the door behind him. Once it’s locked, he collapses against it and lets out a hiss at the consequences of his rash behavior and makes themselves known.

Now this situation is most unusual and he’s not sure how Deceit will react when he wakes up because he’s lying on top of his least favorite Side. Patton ignores the warm and tingling sensation in his chest because he knows Deceit hates him and he’s trying to keep his panicking down to the bare minimum

Somehow, he’s got to get out from underneath Deceit without waking him. 

Patton frowns.

Deceit looks like he hasn’t been getting much decent sleep lately so it’s doubly important that he does this right. Too bad none of the others are around to help him with this dilemma. 

He carefully removes one hand then the other from his shirt where Deceit was clinging onto him and Patton’s grateful he’s only having to deal with two of Deceit’s arms. Deceit shifts again in his sleep, giving Patton enough of a window to wiggle his way out from underneath him and place his feet on the ground, now sitting up with Deceit’s head in his lap as a pillow is used to replace Patton in Deceit’s grasp. 

That’s as far as Patton gets when he feels a hand on his arm causing him to look down at Deceit who is staring up at him, a strange sadness in his eyes that calls out to Patton. 

“Just stay a little longer. Please?” requests Deceit softly, “I...I haven’t been sleeping much lately.”

There’s something in his voice that lets PAtton know he’s being honest and that’s all that it takes for him to nod his head.

“Of course, Dee. I’ll stay as long as you want,” replies Patton equally as softly.

“Forever?” ask Deceit.

The human side of his face blushes when he realizes what he said but Patton leans down and kisses the top of his head.

“I like the sound of that.”

Deceit sits up so Patton can lay back down before cuddling up to the Moral side -- head on his chest with one of his arms draped across his waist.

They looked up at Janus in surprise, not expecting Janus to barge into Remus’ room like he did. 

“Hey J. Ya need somethin’?” asks Remus.

Janus smiles slightly.

“I do but you’re in the middle of something. I apologize for interrupting,” replies Janus.

He goes to leave the room when Logan’s voice stops him.

“You’re not interrupting anything. We just finished our viewing of the documentary about deep sea creatures we planned for the day.”

Janus looks between them and takes confidence from Remus’ encouraging grin. 

“Pull up a chair, Jay and tell us up’s up,” says Remus, waving a hand at his desk chair. 

“I concur. Something has been weighing on your mind lately and though, we are not as close as you and Remus are, I do hope you know you can talk to me...Janus,” offers up Logan. 

Janus blinks at the unexpected offer of support. 

Grabbing the chair, he swings it so the back of the chair faces his friends and lets him rest his arms on the top of it.

“There’s something going on around here and I want to get to the bottom of it. But I can’t do it alone, so I need your help, both of you,” Janus states firmly.

Remus tilts his head to the side as he stares at Janus. 

“Does this include the stares and glares Spidey has been sending your way the last couple days when you’re in the same room as Patsy?” he asks. 

Janus takes a deep breath then sighs.

“See. This is why I want your help, Remus.”

Tapping his wrist on the closed laptop laying in his lap, Logan considers all the information he knows. 

“Excuse me for asking the obvious but have you tried asking Virgil about what’s going on?” asks Logan.

Janus shrugs sheepishly as Remus snorts in response to the question. 

“He’s not my biggest fan, if you haven’t noticed,” Janus replies. 

“Then you could perhaps talk to Patton then; when Virgil isn’t around that is,” suggests Logan. 

Remus bursts out laughing then ends up leaning against Logan’s shoulder, causing him to blink in confusion at Remus’ reaction to his suggestion. 

“Good luck getting him to do that. Jay’s a stubborn bastard like that,” he explains as he makes himself comfortable leaning on Logan. 

Janus smirks. 

“Like you’re one to talk, Rem.”

Grabbing his pillow, Remus throws it at Janus and manages to knock off his hat, resulting in a glare from his best friend. 

“As amusing as this is, perhaps we should get back to the matter at hand,” interrupts Logan. 

Remus snuggles back up to him causing Logan to fight to keep from blushing though from the smug smirk on Janus’ face, he’s failing spectacularly. 

“You have two choices, talk to Patton or talk to Virgil. Those would be the most efficient means to figure out what is going on in order to satisfy your curiosity.”

“Uh fine. You have a point. I’ll go talk to Patton,” says Janus dramatically.

“Thank fuck. Logan, you’re now my favorite person,” comments Remus. 

Without thinking, Remus pulls Logan’s face towards him but instead of kissing Logan’s cheek, he plants one on Logan’s lips causing them to freeze and Janus to laugh at them. Then they jump back, an electric shock jumping between them. Remus stares at Logan who stares back at him. 

Then Remus rips off his shirt and there on his shoulder is a navy blue raven outline. 

“Holy shit Batman.”

Logan blinks a couple times then shakes his head in disbelief. 

“If you just received your soulmark then that means….” Logan trails off.

Janus, picking up on Logan’s discomfort, has an idea.

“Logan, my room’s across the hall and I have a full length mirror you can use privately.”

Nodding his head in thanks, Logan quickly makes his way to Janus’ room then closes the door behind him. Locating the mirror isn’t hard and in a few quick seconds, Logan stands before the mirror. He takes a couple deep breaths before removing his shirt from his person then turns around to look at his shoulder. 

There….sitting on his shoulder blade like it’s been there all of his life is a green outline of an octopus. 

He has a soulmate. 

Logan has a soulmate and his name is Remus.

Unable to contain his smile, he dashes back over to Remus’ room where his soulmate waits not so patiently for him. 

Remus looks up at Logan, a hopeful smile on his face where he sits on his bed as Janus rubs his shoulder in comfort. 

Moving across the room, Logan drops to his knees in front of Remus then cups his face gently. 

“You’re my soulmate.”

Remus smiles softly, in a manner neither man had ever seen from him, as he leans towards Logan.

“My soulmate. You exist.”

Remus closes the distance between their lips with a gentle but meaningful kiss. 

They separate and look at Janus when they hear him gasp loudly.

“Your tattoos...they’re filled in. They only fill in when both soulmates accept the bond,” he explains. 

Seeing the matching dopey grins of their faces, Janus decides it’s in his best interest to leave.