#pattonfic

There’s only one way to play this off....don’t tell a single soul he got his soulmarks and let them think his soulmate, soulmates are younger than him. 

The truth is he’s not worthy of his soulmates and they won’t want him like this. 

He can only hope they’re all deep asleep and didn’t feel the alert tingle that he, their fourth soulmate turned 21 because he knows when they put their minds together and connect the dots, which they will....he will lose the three best people in his life. 

------

Patton slowly gets out of bed, still tired from the previous night; first, eager with excitement then complete dread about what his future holds in store for him. 

Sighing, he runs a hand through his hair as he slips on his puppy paw slippers before heading downstairs. He knows his parents will be waiting for him, expectantly as he’s made this a big deal his whole life. 

“Good morning, sweetheart and happy birthday,” greets his mom from the stove where she’s making his favorite pancakes. 

“Morning champ! Stay up late last night, did you?” his dad asks. 

“Mornin’ mom and dad. Yeah, I did….” he trails off, not wanting to explain who his soulmates are and why he’ll never be with them.

Patton doesn’t miss the concerned look his parents share but chooses to ignore it as he settles in his usual chair at the dining room table where a glass of apple juice awaits him. 

Taking a sip of the juice, he focuses on the task at hand and calms down. 

Placing a plate of pancakes down in front of him, his mom takes a moment to kiss his forehead, drawing a smile out of him.

“Thanks mom! These look great.”

She smiles.

“Anything for my favorite son on his birthday,” she replies. 

“I’m your only son.”

She chuckles. 

“That doesn’t mean I can’t have a favorite.”

His dad snorts. 

Patton’s heart feels lighter; no matter what happens, he still has his parents. 

-----

The sight of his front door causes a weight to fall from his shoulders because Patton’s day was exhausting while doing his best to dodge his soulmates without looking like he was.

As Patton enters the house, he opens his mouth to greet his mom but he pauses before taking in the smirk on her face. She simply points upstairs and he takes it as his room is where he needs to do. 

Opening the door to his bedroom, Patton freezes when his eyes land on his three best friends and soulmates - Roman, Virgil and Logan; they all look completely comfortable cuddling on his bed though there’s an obvious gap. 

They know he knows and spent the day avoiding them instead of talking to them about their new reality. 

“Uh, hey guys….what are you doing here?”

Logan quirks an eyebrow at him.

“I believe it would be obvious as to why we are here,” he states firmly.

Patton flinches causing Virgil to smack Logan on the arm. 

“Oh Pat...you didn’t really think that we wouldn’t want you, did you?” asks Roman.

Looking around the room, he rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. 

Roman climbs off of the bed then approaches Patton before gently taking his hand in his own. 

“I’ll have you know that I’ve been falling for you since we met, so knowing you’re one of my soulmates is the best news to wake up to,” comments Roman. 

Blushing, Patton tries to hide his face with his free hand but Virgil joins the pair and copies Roman’s posture. 

“Princey’s right. Anyone who’s ever met you would hope would be their soulmate,” Virgil takes a deep breath, “I didn’t want to dare to dream that you could be one of mine.

Patton looks between Virgil and Roman in awe. 

Cough

The trio turn to look at Logan where he sits on the edge of the bed. 

“I must confess, Patton...I never thought someone like you would be my soulmate, let alone that I’d have several. However, it pleases me greatly to know that I was incorrect in my earlier thought,” says Logan.

Patton kisses one of Roman’s then one of Virgil’s hands before pulling his free and turning towards Logan. Without giving Logan any warning, he throws himself at his genius soulmate causing their other two soulmates to laugh out loud at Logan’s expression. 

Snuggling closer to Logan, Patton smiles when he feels Logan wrap his arms around Patton’s waist before Roman and Virgil join them, on either side of them. 

“How did you know that I was your fourth soulmate?” he asks out loud.

Virgil runs his hand up and down Patton’s back as he answers.

“You doddled on your hand during class and light blue appeared on my skin. I immediately recognized it.”

“Fudge...I should have remembered to not to do that,” replies Patton.

Kissing Patton’s cheek, Logan shifts slightly so they’re both comfortable.

“Indeed, I knew right away that it was familiar but I could not put my finger on why until I discussed the matter with Roman and Virgil,” he states.

Roman runs a hand through Patton’s hair.

“Honestly, my darling….I thought I had been dreaming.”

Before Patton can say anything, the door opens and his mom appears in the doorway and taking in the sight of her son with his soulmates before grinning brightly.

“Aww, this is so wonderful! I think this calls for a celebration!” exclaims Patton’s mom.

Patton and Virgil blush in response causing the other three to laugh loudly.

The sadness grows in his heart as he looks around the kitchen and remembers the good times he’s had there with the others. He can picture Logan lingering by the coffee pot, trying to ignore their shenanigans but his lips twitch, letting Patton know he’s amused while Virgil sits on the island in the middle of the kitchen, swinging his feet back and forth as he eggs on Roman, who is attempting to help Patton cook but learns that making pancakes is a tricky business causing Patton to chuckle as he helps to sort out the batter and give Roman an easier task while soothing his ego with his words. 

Patton shakes his head. 

He can’t do that. 

Looking back won’t do him any good. 

He runs his hand over the cool surface of the stove, sitting there unused for ages. 

Their voices and laughter echo in his head without his permission. 

Turning away from the stove, he lets out a sigh as he leans against the island, absent-mindedly tracing Virgil’s name on the counter. 

He screws his eyes shut as he remembers the door to his room slamming open then Virgil, energized by his righteous anger at Roman’s and Logan’s treatment and Janus’ acceptance, he berates Patton loudly and forcefully, not allowing his former best friend get a word in edgewise before leaving as suddenly as he came.

The cold floor comes as a shock, bringing Patton out of his memories but he can’t seem to find it in himself to care that he’s on the floor.

He’s not hungry anyways.

Shifting his position so he’s leaning back against the island with his arms around his knees. 

There’s an ache in his chest he’s been ignoring and he knows the source but he doesn’t have anyone to blame but himself for it. Listening to then accepting Janus was the right thing to do and still is especially with Thomas taking the first step. This whole thing has made him reconsider all the Sides.  

There’s an octopus plushie just waiting to be delivered as an apology and an olive branch on his dresser. 

He misses his famILY so much, he can barely think the thought before the ache grows larger and suffocates him. 

Suddenly, there’s a black and gold blur in front of him. 

Patton looks up and watches as Janus kneels down next to him with an openly concerned look on his face, which he’s not used to seeing from the other Side. 

“Patton? What ever is the matter?” Janus asks softly.

He blinks in confusion.

A yellow gloved hand moves towards him then he feels Janus’ thumb wipe away something from his cheek. Reaching up his own hand, Patton tentatively touches his other cheek and realizes it’s wet. 

He’s been crying without realizing it. 

That thought causes the waterworks to grow as he struggles to not make any noise. 

Janus cups Patton’s face with both of his hands then uses his thumbs to wipe away Patton’s tears.

“Oh Patton....”

Maybe it’s the fact that this is the most physical contact he’s had in months or maybe it’s the fact that Janus doesn’t seem to hate him and want him gone; whatever the reason, Patton tumbles towards Janus and wraps his arms around him before burying his face into Janus’s shoulder. 

Pushing his surprise and shock down, Janus moves his hands so he can hug Patton back and rub his back. 

They sit there on the floor, neither concerned by the fact but rather, focused on taking comfort from the other Side. 

Patton realizes he’s been cuddling Janus’ for a long time and can’t help thinking he’s made him uncomfortable so he pulls away with force causing him to fall on his back while Janus blinks at him.

“Patton?”

“Sorry ‘bout that Janus, I didn’t mean to do that and for that long. You probably hated it,” replies Patton, looking down at his hands. 

Janus sighs. 

“If I didn’t want the contact, if it made me uncomfortable...don’t you think I’d make it clear rather than continue it?” he asks.

“Um, yea...I guess.”

Janus does have a point.

But he can’t let himself behave that way with Janus because he went down that path with Virgil already and he’s lost his spooky best friend. Without Janus, he’d have no one to talk to so best not to do anything to rock that boat. 

Patton’s stomach decides to make its presence known, causing Patton to blush and Janus chuckle.

“Let’s get you something to eat then watch a movie,” he rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, “if you want to that is. Or, we could talk about what’s bothering you.”

“Um, a movie would be nice. Thanks Janus.”

Janus stands up and holds out a hand to Patton to help him up off of the floor. 

At least, Patton is not alone at the moment and he’ll take it because he can’t take being alone. 

He’d do anything to have his famILY back together.

“Patton’s not here, Remus. So no, the gang’s not all here,” he comments helpfully. 

“Neither are Remy or Emile,” adds Roman.

Only Remus notices how his grip tightens on the arm of the chair at the names. 

“Patton’s over at Remy and Emile’s for the afternoon,” chimes in Virgil from where he’s sitting on the floor at Janus’ feet. 

Janus narrows his eyes.

Why is Patton there? He should be here with hi-with his friends. 

Shaking his head slightly, he tries to push the thoughts of Patton away but Patton has a stubborn grip on his mind. He thinks about the last hangout and can’t help glaring at his wine glass --- the way Remy and Emile hung all over Patton (more like hogged Patton all to themselves), the weird look on Patton’s face any time Janus managed to catch Patton staring at him....how far away from him Patton stayed.

The last memory hits Janus hard in the heart and he barely manages to muffle his gasp so no one else especially Virgil can hear him. 

A hand squeezes his shoulder gently causing him to break out of his thoughts as the others argue about what to watch and look up at Remus, who stares at him with a concerned look for his best friend. 

“You alright, J?” asks Remus softly as to avoid drawing attention to themselves. 

Janus bites his lip.

“I was...ah thinking.”

Remus stares at him in confusion for a few seconds then he gets it.

“I hope this plays out the way you want it too and doesn’t end up blowing up in your face instead,” Remus states before going over to the couch and plopping down next to Logan before putting his head in Logan’s lap and taking over the rest of the couch. 

The startled expression on Logan’s face nearly makes Janus chuckle. 

Nearly. 

-----

Sometimes, making simple things in the kitchen are the most delicious and in this case, puppy chow mix is a perfect example. 

Patton grins down at the bowl and he’s sure he’s got powdered sugar on his face, at least on his glasses but he doesn’t care. All that matters is he’s making something delicious to share with all of his friends. The fact that this is one of Remus’ favorite snacks and he’s been down lately is purely coincidental. 

“Hey Pat, whatcha up to in here?”

Patton looks at the doorway and grins at the sight of Virgil standing there. 

“Hey Virge! I’m making puppy chow mix. Want some?” responds Patton.

Virgil raises an eyebrow as he tries to hide a smile at his best friend’s exuberance. 

“Is the sky blue? Of course, I want some,” he crosses the room then hops up on the counter, out of the way of Patton, “if I don’t get some now before Remus gets a hold of the Puppy Chow mix then I’ll never get some.”

Patton chuckles. 

“Oh, I’ve already made Remus his own batch, not to worry.”

Virgil nods his head. 

It’s easy to watch Patton work but it’s harder to not want to join in when Patton’s so excited about what he’s doing.

Then Virgil notices Patton’s glasses. 

“With all of the powdered sugar on your glasses, I’m amazed you can see anything at all,” he teases.

Patton simply grins at him before sticking his finger into the powdered sugar then booping Virgil on the nose. 

Blinking, it takes his brain a couple seconds to process what happened. Then Virgil laughs, drawing laughter from Patton. This is one of the reasons Patton is his best friend.

He goes over to the sink and turns on the faucet before wetting a paper towel and using it to wipe off his glasses. Making a mess is part of the fun, at least for him it is. 

Virgil shakes his head at his best friend.

As he is about to say something else, he notices Patton’s shirt isn’t completely pulled down; instead, it shows off a strip of skin above his pants on the side of his waist. There’s something there he hadn’t been expecting to see and might explain why he’s never seen Patton without a shirt on in the few years they’ve been friends. 

Why didn’t he know about it’s existence though?

It seems very unPatton-like to keep this to himself as soulmates seem like something right up his alleyway as a romantic person at heart. 

“Is that a soulmark, Patton?” asks Virgil out of the blue.

Startled, Patton jumps up then tugs on the hem of his shirt where it had risen up and showed off a yellow snake outline. 

“Uh, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Patton tries to make a mad dash out of the kitchen but Virgil blocks his exit.

“You have a soulmark and never told me?” he asks firmly.

Looking down at the floor, Patton doesn’t know how to answer. 

“What does it matter? I’m never gonna get to be with him.”

Virgil raises an eyebrow at the confession.

“Him?”

Patton meets Virgil’s gaze as he slaps his hands on his mouth.

“Sunshine? Are you okay?” he pushes, concern quickly rising. 

Shaking his head, Patton breaks his gaze away from their hands and meets Roman’s.

“I have something to tell you, Roman.”

Roman squeezes his hands in support causing Patton to smile softly at him and if he didn’t know any better, Roman blushes slightly in response. 

Biting his lip, Patton takes a few moments to collect himself while Roman’s the one distracted now, his gaze glued to Patton’s lips as he bites them.

Patton, seeing where Roman’s gaze is...decides actions speak louder than words so he closes the distance between them with a kiss. It takes Roman’s brain a couple moments to catch up but then, he’s kissing back just as enthusiastically. 

When they part for air, Roman blinks slowly. 

“What...why...Patton?” 

Patton wraps his arms around Roman’s neck so one of his hands can play with the hair at the base of his neck, causing Roman to, unconsciously wrap his own arms around Patton’s waist. 

“I love you, Roman. I’m in love with you but I didn’t know how to say it so I thought I’d show you,” explains Patton softly.

At the confession, Roman’s eyes widen and he starts to tear up. 

“You...love….me?” asks Roman confusedly, tilting his head to the side. 

“More than I could ever explain and more than you could ever know. You make my heart out-sing the choirs in the world. There’s no work of art on Earth that moves me, that makes me feel like you do--”

Roman surges forward and captures Patton’s lips in a passionate kiss before knocking him over and onto the couch from the force of his emotions. 

Nuzzling his face into Patton’s neck, Roman lets out a sigh.

“I never thought that you would love me the way I love you. I swear I’ll do everything in my power to make you happy, Patton,” he whispers against Patton’s neck.

He runs his hands through Roman’s hair causing him to relax against his chest. 

“You already do just by being you, Ro.”

Looking at Patton, Roman smiles brightly as he feels happier than he has in a long time. Time could stop and he’d be more than happy to remain in this moment for eternity. He raises his upper body up off of Patton’s chest so he’s resting on his forearms.

In response to Roman’s change in position, Patton reaches up and cradles his cheek with his hand -- Roman turns his head to the side and kisses his palm before returning to his original position. Before Patton can say anything, Roman leans down and kisses his forehead then his cheeks then his nose before planting a firm kiss on his lips. 

“Perhaps we can move this to my room so we’re not interrupted,” Roman suggests with a smirk on his lips.

“We can go anywhere you want as long as I get you to myself,” replies Patton.

One thing Patton’s always believed in is soulmates and he’s dreamed of meeting his soulmate but now, he knows they won’t be one of the soulmate success stories. It’s a bitter pill to swallow. 

“Are you alright, Patton?” 

Patton shakes his head then looks over at Logan who stares back at him; his lunch ignored for the moment. 

Before he answers, Patton’s ears pick up several familiar voices before spotting Janus entering the cafeteria with Roman, Virgil and Remus.

“Uh yeah, I just remembered that I need to ask my professor something about our test next week so I’m going to head out early and try to catch him before class,” he says, gathering his lunch items and his bag, “I’ll see you later, Lo.”

Patton quickly dashes over to the trash cans on the other side of the room, unaware of eyes following his every move. 

-----

Dropping heavy into his seat, Patton lets out a sigh as he runs his hand through his hair. 

“What’s good, babe?”

He turns his head to the left then smiles slightly at the sight of his friends, Remy and Emile; who just happen to be soulmates. 

“The usual,” he replies, shrugging.

Remy and Emile frown then share a look -- they’re the only ones who know about Patton’s side and are determined to give him support though Patton doesn’t want them choosing sides, it’s too late for that. 

Dropping into the seat next to Patton, Emile pulls him into a hug causing Patton to squeak in surprise but quickly returns it. 

They separate then settle in their seats as the professor enters the room.

As much as he didn’t want them choosing sides, Patton admits to himself that it’s wonderful to have their support and not be alone in dealing with this. 

-----

After class ends, Patton parts with his friends before deciding to take the long way back to his dorm because it’s a nice day out and the fresh air could do him some good. Unfortunately, he forgot this path takes him right past the theatre department. 

It hits him when he nearly falls over but Roman reaches out and steadies him by his arm.

“You alright there, Padre?” asks Roman.

Patton takes a few seconds to gather his bearings and process what happened.

“Uh, yeah. I’m good. Thanks Roman,” he gently peels Roman’s hand off of his arm, “I need to get going though. See you around.”

Before he can run away, Roman grabs his arm again then forces Patton to look at him. 

“What’s gotten into you Patton? You’ve been awfully jumpy when you’re not running away from your friends,” Roman frowns, “We’re worried about you. Is someone bothering you or something?”

Regardless of his personal feelings regarding, Roman and Janus...Patton knows Roman is a really good friend to have. 

“No, no one is bothering me and no, you guys didn’t do anything,” Patton responds. 

“Then what is it? We miss hanging out with you.”

Patton runs a hand through his hair then sighs. 

“Don’t worry, it’s me that’s the problem. Well, my problem to deal with,” says Patton softly. 

“Patton…,” replies Roman equally as soft.

Normally, someone eating an apple isn’t enough to stop someone else in their tracks. However, Patton’s mind immediately goes to the snake in the Garden of Eden and the damned apple.

It’s all that it takes for Patton to burst out laughing.

The unexpected sound causes Janus to drop the apple as he looks over at Patton laughing, his eyes wide and his mouth open. Shaking his head, Janus gathers himself then a fond smile blooms on his face as he watches Patton laugh. He could never tire of the sound. 

“Are you alright, Patton?” he asks.

Patton takes a couple deep breaths with his eyes closed before opening them and sending Janus a bright smile. 

Then he crosses the room so he’s standing next to Janus at the counter. 

“Sorry about that, Janus. It was completely random,” replies Patton sheepishly.

“Don’t apologize, it’s always lovely to hear you laugh,” compliments Janus.

Patton ducks his head and tries to hide his blush but knows he failed when he feels Janus place his hand underneath his chin and gently guide his face up so he looks Janus in the eyes. 

Unfortunately, the fond smile on Janus’ face only causes Patton’s blush to worsen. 

“Darling, please...there’s no need to hide your beautiful face from me,” he compliments once again. 

“Jannnuuussss!!!!”

Janus chuckles before stroking Patton’s flushed cheek gently. 

“Alright, I’ll stop for now so you don’t spontaneously combust on me so in the meantime, why don’t you tell me what caused your laughter,” says Janus.

He exchanged Patton’s cheek for his hand, giving it a squeeze then smiling when he felt Patton return the squeeze.

Patton nods his head.

“I got a random image or thought in my head when I saw you eating the apple. With your emblem thingy being a snake, I couldn’t help but think about the Garden of Eden,” explains Patton.

Janus blinks.

Then he snorts causing Patton to giggle. 

 “I can see how that would stop you in your tracks and make you laugh,” states Janus. 

“It’s silly, I know but I can’t help my imagination sometimes,” says Patton.

Janus places his finger on Patton’s lips then smiles when Patton kisses it but doesn’t remove the finger. 

“You don’t need to apologize for things like that, my dear. Now, I do believe we need to get lunch started before Remus decides he wants to experiment,” says Janus.

Patton takes a deep breath to clear his head.

“Ah, there you are, Patton.”

He looks over to the doorway and smiles slightly at Logan.

“Hey Lo. Getting something else to eat?” he asks.

“You would be correct, Patton. Considering the situation and your question, I conclude you are doing the same as well,” Logan replies.

Patton nods his head before focusing on choosing which pizza he wants to try next.

A loud shout then cheering comes from the living room causing Logan to roll his eyes and Patton to giggle at his antics. 

“Oh honesty. They should just kiss and put us all out of our misery,” comments Logan. 

Patton raises an eyebrow at his comment.

“Who needs to kiss?” 

Placing his plate down on the counter, Logan removes his glasses before rubbing the bridge of his nose as he sighs before replacing his glasses.

“Roman and Janus, of course. Even you, of all people can’t have missed their flirting,” answers Logan as he focuses on his selection, deciding to let up on his strict dietary choices for the evening. 

Biting his tongue, Patton’s glad that Logan is distracted and not looking at him so he can’t see the effect his words had on Patton. This proves he’s right to keep the knowledge of being Janus’ soulmate to himself. 

“It is quite the shame that Janus and Roman aren’t soulmates. They’re exhibiting all of the signs of being soulmates, just without the marks,” says Logan. 

“How do you know they’re not?” questions Patton nonchalantly.

Logan moves to stand near Patton as he takes a bite out of his pizza.

“Roman showed me his bare wrist, though he’s convinced he has one. Though, Janus...on the other hand, has been very secretive and even wears gloves, so I conclude he has a soulmate but has not met that individual yet,” explains Logan patiently.

Patton nods and pretends to agree with Logan.

“I’m gonna go back out and see if I can get in on the action.”

Patton throws out his half eaten pizza before dashing out into the living room before Logan could respond.    

This freaking sucks.

As he enters the room, Emile catches his eye before holding up the controller and Patton nods in response. Maybe, a race or two will be the distraction he needs; though, he has to walk right in front of Janus and resist the urge to scratch his mark because it becomes unbearable the longer he’s in touching distance of his soulmate. 

Patton settles on the floor before taking the controller from Emile, who settles in next to him. Then he looks around to see Virgil taking the controller from Remus and Roman holds up his controller towards Remy who shakes his head.

“Nah, I’m good. Gotta cheer on my guy, Patton,” Remy says, a smirk playing on his lips.

Until Emile coughs that is.

“Ah, I mean...our guy.”

Patton blushes as he tries to smack Remy’s leg, it being the closest part of his friend he can reach. His blush grows brighter the moment Emile snuggles up to him from behind. 

Eyes follow Patton’s antics then narrow at touches he exchanges with his friends. 

-----

Apparently, the hangout was the straw that broke the camel’s back for Patton in regards to Janus. 

He panics because his longing for his soulmate grows a little more each day. 

Part of him wants to avoid Janus but this isn’t one of Roman’s romcoms; they live on the same floor of the same dorm and share the same group of friends. Avoiding Janus is out of the question. Besides, everyone would question him and he’d be forced to reveal his secret. Patton knows it would only end rejection for him and awkwardness for everyone. 

Patton can’t deny though, avoiding Janus holds some attraction to him. 

“Hey, Pat. You good?”

Jumping slightly and slamming his knee into the counter at the unexpected voice, he winces in pain as Roman rushes over to him. The moment he realizes it is Roman, Patton stumbles backwards and lands on his butt with a loud thump.

“Patton?” asks Roman reaching out a hand to help him up. 

Looking at the offered hand, Patton sighs before getting up onto his feet under his own power and ignoring Roman completely. As he turns away, Roman’s hand shoots out and grabs him by the arm causing Patton to look at him.

“Have I done something to upset you? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” he says gently, “I miss you, Patton.”

Patton opens his mouth to respond as Janus appears in the door.

“Hey Roman? We’re gonna be late if we don’t leave….now,” he looks at the two of them with a raised eyebrow, “is everything alright in here?” 

Removing Roman’s arm from his, Patton sighs then puts on a bright smile. 

“You know me, Janus; living the dream,” he responds.

Patton brushes past Janus, roughly bumping his shoulder against Janus’ without thinking before quickly dashing to his room and closing the door behind him. Once it’s locked, he collapses against it and lets out a hiss at the consequences of his rash behavior and makes themselves known.